Author's Note: This is a oneshot set during Mockingjay. It centres around Peeta's uncertainty of his love for Katniss and his new friendship with Annie who helps him realise his true feelings. I realise that in the book Annie has dark hair but I LOVE the colour of Stef Dawson's hair, the actress who plays Annie in the movies, so that's why I've said that Annie's hair is red in this fic :)
Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games. All credit goes to Suzanne Collins.
I walk briskly down the many windowless corridors, past men, women and children of all ages and appearances, but all dressed in the identical uniform of District 13. I'm wearing it myself - a bland grey t-shirt and matching trousers.
This is my very first day of wearing it, even though I've been back from the Capitol for a couple of weeks now. I've spent the last fourteen days confined to the District hospital, handcuffed to a bed, constantly being watched over by guards when the doctors were busy attending to other patients. They tightened my security even further after the incident with Katniss. I'm still not entirely sure what happened that day. They told me I tried to strangle her. I doubt they would lie to me about something that serious. But I love Katniss - don't I?
I got released this morning. But I don't have a schedule to adhere to like everyone else in 13. Instead, my days are filled with anger management classes and therapy sessions. On top of that, I have to wear a medical bracelet declaring me 'mentally unstable' so people know to stay away from me. The only good thing is that I get an hour of Reflection instead of thirty minutes. My doctor says I should use it to practise meditation and other relaxation techniques to help me cope with what they did to us in the Capitol, but I hate it because I get fidgety before I can complete the breathing exercises and give up. So I'm finding something else to do.
I turn a corner and find myself in District 13's Department of Education - a hallway that's not very long, since there are hardly any kids here. There are four doors on either side, all leading into small classrooms. I choose the second door on the left, and turn the handle.
When I open the door, I see a young woman with long, red hair sitting with her back to me. She's holding a paintbrush in her hand, and there is an easel set up in front of her, supporting a half-finished painting.
"Oh..." I say quietly, taking an awkward step back.
The young woman turns around to face me.
"Hello, Peeta!" she smiles kindly.
"Oh, hey, Annie," I smile back, recognizing her. "Sorry, I didn't realise there was anyone in here."
"That's okay, come and sit down." She pulls up a chair for me beside her easel. I close the door and walk towards her.
"Thanks," I say shyly, sitting down. "What's this?" I ask, gesturing to her painting.
"My therapist told me I should find something I like doing, you know, a hobby. She said it would help take my mind off things."
I nod, understanding.
"So, you like art?"
"Hmm," Annie considers her answer for a moment. "I've never really tried it, to be honest. It was my therapist who suggested it. She got me permission to use this classroom when it was empty, and she supplied me with the paper and paint too. She's been very helpful."
"What are you painting?" I ask, leaning forward to get a better look.
"Home," Annie smiles. She swaps her thick brush for a thin one, dips it into some black paint from the palate on the table beside her, and adds some simple 'V' shapes to the top of her painting. I realise that they're birds, and she's painting a beach scene.
"That's beautiful!" I smile, remembering the stunning waves and the lovely hot sand in District 4 from the Victory Tour.
"Thank you," says Annie. "I hope Finnick and I can return there one day."
"You will," I nod certainly.
"I hope so. So what are you doing here?"
"Same as you. I was looking for something to take my mind off things. I thought if I could get my hands on some paper I could draw some designs for cakes."
"You like baking?" Annie enquires, sounding genuinely interested, which is heartwarming.
"Well, my parents own... owned... a bakery back in District 12. I used to decorate all the cakes. I know there's no chance of going back there, but decorating cakes is the most prominent thing I can remember from my childhood. I think it would help."
"That's a great idea!" Annie exclaims, nodding enthusiastically. "I'll get you some paper right now."
She opens the store cupboard at the back of the classroom and pulls out several large sheets of paper and a pencil.
"We can share the paint if you'd like to colour them in after you've drawn them." She sets down the materials in front of me.
"Thanks," I say, and I mean it, too, because this is the most amount of kindness that anyone has ever displayed towards me since I've arrived in 13.
"You're welcome," Annie smiles, returning to her painting.
"Where's Finnick?" I ask, as I start drawing the rough outline of a cake with the sharp pencil.
"He's training. He really likes it. It gives him an outlet for his energy."
There are a few minutes of comfortable silence as Annie works on completing her beach scene, dipping her brush into the paint and adding more details. I now have the structure of a five-tier wedding cake in front of me, and I'm about to add another tier, when a thought overcomes me.
"Hey, Annie?" I say in a small voice.
"Yes, Peeta?"
"Was it easy seeing Finnick again? Did it feel... did it feel right?"
Annie takes her brush off the page and looks at me.
"Yes," she nods eventually.
"And nothing that they did to you in the Capitol... changed your opinion of him? They didn't try to make you hate him?"
"Oh, they tried," she reassures me, setting her paintbrush down and clasping her hands in her lap. "But I didn't let them."
I pause for several seconds before asking my next question.
"What kind of things did they tell you? If... if you don't mind me asking."
Annie takes a deep breath. "They showed me footage of him walking around the Capitol with strange women on his arm. They got into cabs and checked into hotels... they told me that this is what he does when he leaves me at home in District 4 and comes to the Capitol on 'business'. They said he cheats on me, that he makes love to other women behind my back, and he treats me like I'm a silly little girl and that I'd be better off without him. But that isn't true."
"How could you be so certain?"
"Because it's all Snow's doing. He makes Finnick do all those things. He's been making him do those things ever since he came of age, Peeta. Finnick doesn't have a say in any of it. He hates it, and so do I, but I'm not stupid. I know that it's my head on the chopping block if he refuses, and so does he. That's why he does it. He does it to protect me."
"Why don't you just leave?"
"Because we love each other."
"Simple as that?"
"Simple as that," Annie nods determindly. "Without each other, we're both lost. Without each other... we're both scared."
I bow my head. Everything is quiet.
"I know what this is about, Peeta." Annie says gently.
I look up.
"It's not about Finnick and I. It's about you and Katniss. You're very confused."
I nod as my eyes prickle with tears.
"I am," my voice cracks as I start to cry. "I'm very confused."
I sniff as Annie digs in her pocket and hands me a clean tissue. I take it gratefully and blow my nose.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Annie says in that calm, friendly voice of hers that soothes my nerves.
I take a deep breath just as she did.
"In the Capitol... they told me I hated her. They said she was violent, and a bully, and it was her mission to kill me. And eventually... I believed them. I came back here and I'm getting stories thrown at me left, right and centre that I tried to murder her. They say she came to visit me in the hospital and I locked my fingers around her throat, but I can't remember any of this, not a single thing!" I shake my head and take a break for a moment, drying my tears with my hand. "And I have these really weird dreams about when we were younger... scenes of Katniss and I in school, and at the market in our District, and our Reaping, and the Games as well. And... we don't hate each other. She doesn't want me dead and I'm not scared of her. We're kissing and hugging and laughing and talking. But... every time I see Katniss in real life, I feel angry. I feel so angry and I can't control it. And I don't know why, because I don't think she's done anything wrong." I finish with a sigh.
It is a little while before Annie talks again.
"I don't know Katniss very well but I know that she doesn't want you dead."
I smile weakly and I can feel the tightness in my chest loosening. This is what I've been looking for. An answer. "Really?"
"Really. I saw the way she tried to protect you in the arena. During the 74th Games and The Quarter Quell. And you don't try to save someone else's life over your own in The Hunger Games unless you love them."
It is now that I realise that out of everyone I have spoken to since I was rescued from the Capitol, all the doctors and therapists and the President and her men, it is Annie Cresta, the poor little mad girl, who talks the most sense.
"You're right," I tell her. "Thank you, Annie."
"You're welcome, Peeta. I can't tell you what to do or what is right. Only you can decide that. All I can tell you is what I know, and I know that Katniss loves you."
I suddenly feel a rush of affection and sympathy for Annie. She does not deserve to be treated the way she is. Johanna doesn't even refer to her by her name, but as 'Crazy'. Strangers who know of her talk loudly to her when they pass, as though she's deaf and incapable of understanding them. Children whisper and stare at her in the dining hall, probably after receiving an extremely exaggerated talk about her from their parents. But they're wrong. They're all wrong. Annie Cresta isn't mad. She is the wisest person I think I've ever met.