When I'm bored, I roll over and hug my duvet. It doesn't matter if I get cold because none of it is covering me, but it makes me miss you a little less. Or a little more, I can never quite tell.
I know you'd hate my room now. You'd say it's not 'me'. You wouldn't give a reason, and I'd be content with that.
Well, it's my room. And this is my life. And each time I roll over and imagine you smiling at me, I realise I need that smile a little less. Making a life for myself.
---
You took me to your planet, when I asked. It's only now that I realise you would have done anything for me. We left the TARDIS, your hand holding mine as if I was the one who needed protection. But that day, I only needed protecting from the fact that I couldn't take your pain away. It was rocks and dust, just like your voice had said. It was pain and loneliness, just like your eyes had said.
Let's go, Rose.
So we went back into that blue box, and you pretended not to cry. We never mentioned it again.
---
I met a Harkness. No fifty-first century etiquette, but his son seems keen on me. The kid insists on clapping whenever I smile. I guess maybe I don't smile as much as I used to.
Adam Mitchell, Sarah-Jane Smith, Margaret Blaine… I found them all. Nancy died in the war, and Elton Pope never did end up with Ursula, but they've all been given a chance to live life a little differently.
Not like us.
There is no you in this universe, just like there was never meant to be me.
No universe is complete with only one of us.
---
We listened to The Cure, one time. When the last song came on you were holding my hand, and although we had stopped dancing, you didn't let it go. You just looked at me with that fire in your eyes, and I forgot everything around us. It ended, and Jack was leaning against the wall, raising his eyebrows and smiling.
When you noticed him watching us you let go of my hand, and he chuckled in that 'knowing' way of his.
Five minutes later, everything was forgotten as you rolled your eyes whilst I introduced Jack to the Sex Pistols.
---
Mum wonders if I'll ever move on, marry some rich businessman and have three kids, just like her. Rose, Sarah and John; I often forget we're siblings. I often look around for your hand to hold and you aren't there, but sometimes Sarah holds it instead. She knows I've lost someone. Mickey tells her about princes and adventurers who whisk girls away and give them the universe. Sometimes they lose each other, sometimes they don't, but they always end happily ever after.
Maybe we won't get our happy ending, Doctor, but I'll wait for it. I'll always wait for you.