Hiccups

I just had a nice little case of hiccups…and then I thought...why don't I give poor Beato the hiccups? So out of that idea...I made this fic =D

Thanks to: The human body....and a crazy mind with a very bad imagination!

Disclaimer: I do not own Umineko no Naku Koro ni or any of its characters. They are the property of Ryukishi07...and Studio Deen (D:) I kinda own this plot though =D

It was silent. A young man and a woman sat in opposite sides staring at the same chessboard. The young man, named Battler, was frowning, unable to find a good move. Beato, on the other hand was grinning, waiting to see what kind of move her opponent was going to make.

"Are you going to make your next move?" Beato said, taking her eyes off the chessboard and looked at Battler. Battler have her a cold look as if telling her to shut up.

Then Ronove spoke up.

"Battler-sama, the time given to you to consider your next move is up. Have you made your desicion?" He spoke in a formal way, just like butlers talk.

"Hmm...yeah I have decided my next move. And here it is!" He moved his piece showing a confident grin. Too bad that grin didn't last as long as he planned since Beato gave him that fanned grin that always sent a shiver down his spine.

"It seems that you forgot about this Battleeeeer!!" She said his name in a high-pitched voice, making it sound creepy to anybody who wasn't used to this. She moved her piece and in that movement, knocked the chess piece that Battler had just moved, out of the game. "Ahahahahahahahahahaha....hic!"

That small hic that abruptly stopped her wicked laughter caught the attention of both Battler and Ronove.

Beatrice stared off into the nowhere as she wondered about what just happened. It didn't happen again so she shrugged it off. "Well...where was- hic!" It happened again. And now Battler was the one laughing.

"Ahahaha...I didn't know you could get the hiccups." Beatrice stared at him as if throwing the fault on him that she had something she didn't know she could get.

"What are the-hic-these...things?" She asked her servant. She didn't know what she had and she didn't like that.

"Pukukuku...it seems like My Lady has a case of the hiccups." Ronove gave a small laugh.

"Beato...don't tell me you've never known what hiccups are!" Battler said to the woman in front of him, who responded with a loud "Hic!"

"I don't -hic!- care! I want to know how to make them go away!" Beato said in a child-like manner. Battler just chuckled at that response, making the blonde witch slightly blush.

"Usually it goes away if you drink some water while holding your breath."

"Would My Lady like to have some water?" Ronove asked Beatrice who was thinking if believe Battler or not.

"Yes go get me some water. Hic!" She hiccuped loudly and on that Ronove disappeared to go get a glass of water. Soon he returned and gave the glass to Beatrice, again disappearing.

"If this doesn't work Ushiromi -hic- Ushiromiya Battler, I will make sure that -hic- you suffer!!" She threatened the red-haired man, who ignored the threat.

Beatrice held her nose, so that she wouldn't breath, and drunk the water in the glass. Once she was done, she gasped for air for a few seconds and then regained her composure. She waited for a few seconds, and nothing happened.

"So, Beato? Are they gone?"

The response for that was a loud 'Hic!'. Which got the Golden Witch angry.

"You said they'd be gone if I drunk water!! And they aren't...so what do I do now!!" She told him angrily, her blue eyes staring at him.

He looked at the ceiling trying to think of another way. He got the idea of surprising her, but he thought nothing would surprise her, so he threw the idea away. All he thought was to let time pass, and see what happens.

"I'm guessing that if we wait a while they'll just go away naturally." He finally said in a normal tone, seeing Beato hiccup one more time. It was funny to see Beatrice struggle with something that most humans would consider normal. But she wasn't human, so she probably hadn't had a case of hiccups before.

"So you're -hic- saying that we should continue?"

"Well yeah...I won't let a case of hiccups stop me from proving on how these murders were done by a human!!" Battler said confidently pointing at Beato who was getting her personality back.

"Ahahahahahahaha!!!" She gave a laugh that for once was not interrupted. "It's your turn. Let's see what kind of foolish move you will make to try and run...-hic-...from accepting me!" She watched as Battler took his dark brown almost black eyes from her to the chessboard.

______________________________________

After about 30 minutes and about 15 hics, Battler had about enough of it. He could not concentrate, and that meant he could not make any theories to counterattack his opponent.

'Damn it! Her hiccups won't let me think! If only there was a way to make them go away! Sure she looks cute like that but...hey! Do not think that Ushiromiya Battler! She is your rival! You have to pass through anything if you want to win. And that means getting rid of those cursed hiccups!' He argued with himself of what to do. It was Beato's turn so he had a bit of time to think.

He then got an idea. There was a way to get her hiccups out of the way once and for all. He just had to give her something that she isn't and would not expect ever in her life.

"Hey Beato." He stated her name, his voice cutting through the silence. The blond witch looked up, her hands placed neatly in her lap.

"Yes -hic!-?" She asked the hic obviously getting in the way. She was expecting for Battler to tell her to hurry up or something like that. But what she didn't expect...

Was for Battler to get up from his seat, lean on the table and kiss her on the lips.

They stayed like that for about a minute, until Beatrice finally came back to her senses and pushed Battler away, knocking him back into his seat.

"What do you think you are doing, Ushiromiya Battler! How do you, a mere human, dare kiss me!?" She yelled in surprise. Then she gave that menacing grin. "If you're going to be kissing anywhere, it'll be my shoes!"

Battler just shrugged it off. In a normal tone he said something that he had noticed, which she hadn't. "Haven't you noticed you haven't hiccuped?" He raised an eyebrow as he smiled at the person in front of him.

"A-ah. I don't have them anymore...Haha I'm pretty sure Ronove found some sort of magic which made this go away! Much more efficient than your 'Human Ways'" She emphasised of that last part as if to brag to Battler that magic was better than human ways.

"Wow...what amazing magic..." He muttered under his breath, mentally rolling his eyes as Beato got back to the chessboard.

Ok...I will say this now. I am absolutely sure I didn't get the character's personalities right. And I have found 3 billion mistakes already. But alas....I can't find how to fix them. So that's how it stays until I get hiccups some other day, and revives my inspiration.

Again: Umineko no Naku Koro ni belongs to Ryukishi07 and Studio Deen. None of the characters belong to me. At all.