T/N: After reading The Hunger Games: Mockingjay and listening to T-Swift's ft. The Civil Wars' "Safe and Sound" I couldn't control the feels anymore. I wrote this. Haha! Enjoy reading! ;) English ain't mah first language ya'll so tell me if there are any errors! xD
I was too late when I realized that it ended. But it has.
The war has been victory for us. Tortured screams gone. Battle cries echo away. The enemy dead. All that's left is the aftermath of one great battle. All that's left is the silent whisper of the wind. All that's left is the vacant stares looking at nonexistent space.
I think we all have realized it a little bit too late. That reality has struck us days and days after the war. We've been so focused at it for years that we were too absorbed in the sanity of events. Some of us still get the nightmares, only to wake up screaming or thrashing or crying. Some of us don't sleep. And some of us don't really eat.
I don't why it has ended up like this, really. A few years before in my fickle imagination I have thought of victory cries at the end of the decisive battle. But in reality it was all too silent. Maybe because too many lives, far too many than the battles before, have been lost. Out of hundreds of us only around fifty have survived. I don't know how I've made it through all that. I don't know how some of my comrades survived it. Because the enemy was strong. Because the enemy was driven with bloodlust and we were almost powerless.
Sometimes I get the nightmares as well. I hear cries of help from my comrades. I hear screams. I see gigantic hands and faces ready to take my life. The worst ones I wake up screaming to as well, but then Eren would come bursting in from the door, green eyes wide and concerned, and I would hurriedly get out of bed and run to him and bring him tightly close to me. He's taller than me now because when I lay my head on his chest I could hear the sound of his heartbeat. It beats slow and steady. Sometimes it's the only thing keeping me to reality. And maybe his voice and his eyes and his arms too.
He'd whisper to me that it's only a dream, and that everything will be okay. And I would believe him. I would believe that everything will be okay, because after all he's here and the war's over and I'm safe because he'd promised to protect me. He'd take my hand and lead me back to bed then, and he would stroke my hair and I would fall asleep to his breathing and the nightmares would be gone. One night after another nightmare when I woke up and he came through the door, I asked him if he could stay beside me even after I fall asleep. He said that he will. Always. That's when we started to share the same bed. And surprisingly, at rare occasions, he would wake up crying and it's my turn to reassure him. We never ask each other what our nightmares were about, because bringing it up would break us again. But then, I've never experienced him waking up screaming or thrashing. Just crying. And sometimes he'd whisper to me while crying to not leave him, because I'm the only one that's left. And I think I guessed what he dreams about.
In mornings when I would take strolls, I'd see Armin reading a book under the tree. When I would come up to talk to him, he would look up, but he'd never speak. He never speaks to anyone even though they never found any damage to his vocal chords. It could be because of the trauma, we never really know. Sometimes he'd acknowledge what I say to him by moving his head or making expressions, and we would enjoy each other's company for a while until I leave and he continues reading. He and Eren have never talked to each other ever since before the war, and I would never talk to either of them about it since the topic's too fragile to break.
It's months after that everything starts going back to normal. People have eventually started to bring their life back together piece by piece. The citizens who have stayed inside the walls were eventually told to come out despite the doubts they hold. We still use the gear to keep order and manage any situations that come about. There would be times when the Scouting Legion would be praised, and sometimes Eren would get it a little too much and someone had put a title on him that people started calling him. The saviour. It never changed.
In days when everything was calm and quiet I'd sit with Armin under the tree in comfortable silence. While looking at the canvas ahead I would start to hum melodies, and eventually words form and I would start singing a short song.
Under the fig tree
Would you lay with me
Watch the meadow dance
With the purple daisies
Love, I will be here
So don't you dare fear
Close your eyes
Soon the sun will rise
I will be here, love
I will bring you warmth
I will be here, love
I will always be home
Sometimes I'd sing it over and over again. Armin would just continue reading with a small smile forming on his lips. One day when I was just done singing the last line, Eren's voice spoke from behind me saying the song was beautiful. I guess Armin knew he was around because his eyes never left the book. After that day Eren started appearing every single time I'd come to the tree to listen to me sing, and eventually Armin started to loosen up around him but still not speaking. Being just the three of us on the meadow brings back memories of being together when we were kids, although we aren't those kids anymore. We're older now. Maybe more independent. More responsible. More mature. I've lost sense of counting ages through the years, but I think we may be around twenty.
After the operation of leading the people outside the walls, in due course the three of us started to move on. Armin started to write a book. Eren started making plans to see the ocean, while I just stayed beside him. Our days on the meadow gradually started to get shorter and shorter, but I still sang the song to Eren to let him sleep. I think the nightmares stopped there.
I admittedly didn't know that this day would come. I had always feared that we will have all died on the battlefield with no chances of victory. But my expectations have been outdone. It's better this way. Better that I lived longer. I had so many opportunities of dying. Many times. But there would always be someone to save me from death, and I always quietly thank every person who had been willing to lose their lives to others, and it's a sacrifice never wasted.
Eren and I eventually visited the ocean. I was in awe of the beautiful view that I hadn't noticed Eren calling me from the water's edge, smiling and laughing. I've never seen him so happy. With all my strength I ran to him and I was surprised to find my voice laughing too. With his arms outstretched at the last second he brought me up and spun me around, and when he brought me down I noticed tears streaming down from his eyes, and it wasn't till I noticed that I was crying as well when he brushed a stray tear on my cheek. He told me he has never been so happy in his entire life, and then he asked me if it will be alright if I could stay with him until we die. There was no doubt in my answer. I answered yes.
She splashes water at Eren with her tiny hands, the happiness in her eyes never faltering. She's the exact combination of us, with my dark hair and his green eyes. At first I was nervous when the doctor confirmed that I was carrying a child, but when I thought that our daughter would be our pride and joy I wasn't scared anymore. When she was born Eren asked me what we should name her, and after I asked if it was alright we named her Carla. As a baby when she would cry, I'd sing her my song and she'll fall asleep immediately. I guess it keeps her safe. Eren and I eventually contributed our own lessons to teach her about the basics. Learning the alphabet, reading, writing, and we would tell her our own stories of how there were monsters and the knights would win. Soon she would learn our stories about the battles. But Eren tells me it will be okay, that we will understand and explain when she would have questions that want to be answered. And maybe someday we will give her Armin's book about the whole story of what happened when the titans came in. She deserves to know because she lives in this world. Everyone has to know the histories of the past.
Under the fig tree
Would you lay with me
Watch the meadow dance
With the purple daisies
Love, I will be here
So don't you dare fear
Close your eyes
Soon the sun will rise
I will be here, love
I will bring you warmth
I will be here, love
I will always be home
I have a home. And it's in Eren's eyes, in his voice, in his arms. It's in Carla's tiny hands, in her laugh, in the way she would wake Eren and I in the morning because she wants to see the sunrise. It's better this way. To be happy in a cruel and beautiful world. And as Eren wraps around his scarf around me, I know that I am safe. And with them, I am home.
T/N: Waha I think that was a little cheesy on their first time on the beach part LOL. And I can't believe I actually finished a fanfic in a day! HAHAHA! Anyways! Thanks for reading! Fav and review! Whatever you want! ^_^