It's been a struggle, to put it mildly.
The days are short, the nights are long, the wind is cold and the fight is hard and it seems, in these cold months, that there is nothing to show for the hour after hour of desperate conflict. The Wizarding World is descending into chaos around them, and the Winter of 1979 is just about the worst on record. Caradoc Dearborn disappears. Alistair Moody is nearly killed during a raid. Gideon Weasley sustains an injury that leaves him in hospital for four weeks.
But worse than all of this is the misery. The initial burst of fighting spirit is dieing around them, and as it goes so does the Order. Member after member succumbs to the dark forces that attack them constantly.
They are losing. But worse than that, they are losing hope.
Desolation seeps in. Misery and gloom echo around the rooms of No. 12, Grimmauld Place, Order headquarters since the death of Sirius' mother in August. The Order of the Pheonix, once so bright and so brilliant, is descending into the ashes.
Then, there is rebirth.
It's a brisk, nipping day towards the end of November when the Order meet in the giant kitchen. Dorcas is brewing something on the stove, Sirius and Remus sit talking quietly in the corner, and the rest are gathered around the huge oak table, making inconsequential small talk that inevitably turns to the latest attacks.
Then James and Lily walk in.
James and Lily are the stalwart of the order, somewhat. Lily with her almost relentless optimism and James with his cheeky sense of humour are holding them together as they so very nearly fall apart under the weight of the burden they carry. However, recently even they have stopped smiling quite so much as they plan the latest defensive tactics, stopped trying to make a joke as they eat whatever Dorcas has managed to conjure up with the meagre supplies in the Black pantry, stopped looking quite so young, so indestructible.
It's funny, but when they started out, back in July, fresh from their time at Hogwarts, full of anticipation of the glories the world could offer, they almost treated this war as a joke. None of the new ones-Dorcas, Marlene, Sirius, Remus, Peter, James, even Lily, to a degree- thought of it as anything but winnable. Now, six months on, they know it's all too real, they have seen it with their own eyes, and it's taken off the varnish that confidence had given them.
On this day, though, James and Lily almost radiate happiness. Lily in particular is practically incandescent, her smile wide and beautiful, and James is looking at her with such awe that it's hard to do anything but smile. Sirius asks what everyone wants to know: "Why the smiles, oh ridiculously loved up ones?"James looks at Lily, and Lily looks at James. They both smile.
"Actually," Lily says, looking back to the group of warriors, sitting so normally around the table, "We have some news."James, unable to keep it in anymore, bursts forth: "Lily's pregnant!"For a moment, there is utter silence. Then, a chorus of noise that is so happy and raucous that it is a miracle Sirius' mother does not wake from her slumber and join in the cacophony. The joy in the air is tangible, the feeling of rebirth echoes around the kitchen.
In the end, it is this tiny little thing growing inside Lily that redeems the Order. They, like their namesake, have been reborn, and the tiny, soon to be baby, is a symbol of that. From that day forth, the old vigour returns to the eyes of the fighters, and everyone battles just a little harder. There is hope again. For if such joy can appear in the face of such misery, how is any war not able to be won?
As Lily grows, so does the strength of the Order. They start to not lose quite so many members. The rate of success increases. Everything seems to become possible again.
Everything that they do, every sacrifice they make, every victory they achieve is now for the one bundle of cells. The child of the love between two people who deserve it so much. This war they're fighting, it's for him.
When he is born, on the 31st of July, 1980, the news spreads like wildfire through the Order. For one glittering, brilliant moment, the world is theirs again. Harry Potter is the saviour, in more ways than is the hope, he is the thing worth fighting for.
He is the phoenix.