Gender-Swapping: an English Trade

By Dragon-Child of Lightning

Prologue: No Respect Equals Consciences

Britain looked in the mirror, a horrified look on her face. But her face was no longer feminine, and all traces of grace were replaced with the look a sweater-vest nerd had.

"Bloody Hell," she whispered, her voice now different. "What have I done?"

So, What Happened...?

England had had it with the lack of respect she was receiving. Normally, as a gentlewoman and esteemed elder, she would have been given an innumerable amount of respect from her people; they all loved her. She was older then almost all the other countries. Almost all of them. France, Germania, China, and The Roman Empire (or Grandpa Rome as Italy called him) were a few who were still older then the English woman. Still, that wasn't a good enough excuse on her part. Whenever she walked into the room of the UN where the countries usually met, all she received was flak and impudence.

So, after yet another meeting that had more arguing then agreeing, Britain rushed home. When she finally slammed her door closed, she was greeted by a familiar voice.

"What's the rush Elizabeth?"

Looking to the voice, Britain smiled. "Flying Mint Bunny! Oh thank goodness you're here; I've had a dreadful day and could use a pick-me-up."

"What happened?" asked the mythical creature.

"Ugh, I'm so sick and tired of being treated like dirt. I am not old as dirt; that would be China." The country began to pace. "I mean, America and a few others that are clearly younger than me acquire more respect than I. I was once a great empire! I overlaid the globe! Argh, how can I gain more respect without killing anyone; this isn't the pirate age for me anymore. I could probably pull it all off though: I mean they're all morons some days." England held her chin in thought.

"FMB, what do you think?"

"Plague?" suggested the green rabbit, which was following Britain as she paced.

"No, too harsh."

"Deafness?"

"Now how would you suppose they be able to hear?"

"They won't."

"They'll be shouting for the longest time, and I cannot take that madness."

"True. Hmm… Oh! How about zombification?"

England raised a cynical brow. "Really? Really?"

"What?"

"Never mind; I'll think of another way." Elizabeth quit her pacing and went to the kitchen. Leaning on the counter for some reason always helped her think. She turned on the TV as she passed her living room. So, sulking on the counter, Lizzy thought. She took into consideration of Mint Bunny's suggestions, but made a face of disgust and quickly dismissed the ideas; she hadn't thought of doing that type of magic in forever. What would she turn her fellow nations, states, and even ex-countries into? Bugs? Dogs? Cats? Birds? Maybe fish? Her TV played its usual tune of the news until one message in particular caught her attention.

"We're live here in London where One Direction is hosting a fundraiser for the Red Cross. It's all about an hour or two long so bring your coats. Admission is only five pounds. Now back to you Maria."

The screen switched over to the anchors. "Thanks Beverly," thanked the anchor named Maria. "My Colin, if I can tell you one thing about most boys, they wish they could be switched for the ones on stage and be our usual 1D selection. Wouldn't you agree? Anyway, coming up next-"

Elizabeth perked up after that statement. "Switched," whispered woman. "Switched faces, switched feelings, switched personalities-" England shook her head; no way she was doing swapped personalities for a while. "What could I switch?" I few more minutes of thought lead to one conclusion. She snapped her fingers when the idea hit her. "I've got it; let's switch their brains!"

"Brains?" Flying Mint Bunny questioned.

"Yes, like in the movie and book Freaky Friday. The mother and daughter have their minds swapped for a day and by the end of that day, they respected each other more. Ha! This just might work!"

"I don't know. Who's brains would be switched with who's?"

"It would be random," England waved off. She was too excited to stop now. "To the Spell Room!"

Both woman and creature raced to the black door that led to Britain's Spell Room. Elizabeth flung open the door and zipped down the stairs, grabbing her black cloak and dress hanging on the coat rack as she entered.

"Stay in the hall for a minute Bunny," England told her rabbit. Flying Mint Bunny did as he was told and when the door opened again; there stood Elizabeth, completely decked out in black from hood to shoes.

"Why do you always wear that garb?" asked the rabbit.

"It gets me into character. Now come on!" England was almost skipping with exhilaration. A table/vanity near-by (which'd served more as a lab table) stood silent as Elizabeth came to it.

"OK, so if this spell is going to be random," Mint Bunny asked as Elizabeth combined a few ingredients, all smelling foul or sickly sweet. "Then what would happen to girls like China, Hungary, Italy, or Big Sister Romano?"

"First, Hungary acts more like a guy anyway. Second, it's all random; I don't care." England poured more liquids into another flask. Finally, she looked for the last two ingredients: a lock of Poland's hair (cross dresser; make the connections) and an alien's bugger (America had brought Steve over one day and the alien, who hated England, had allergies and his snot got everywhere. Fortunately it was good for something). Disgusted slightly, Elizabeth grabbed a pair of tongs and a gas mask and extracted the glowing green goo that belonged to Steve and placed it in a bowl, and poured the other beakers' ingredients into the bowl.
Next, England opened a cabinet that had a lock of ever country's, ex-country's, state's, providence's hair (don't ask how she got them), and skimmed through the alphabetically arranged tresses.

"Pakistan, Pennsylvania, Philippines, ah ha! Here we go; Poland," Britain rejoiced when she found his hair. But when she went to open the little glass tube, she found that the final ingredient was missing.

"GAH! Bloody-Hell!" cursed the blonde. "I forgot I used it for a prank on France! What am I going to do now?" The island kingdom/nation paced and growled at herself, thinking about other possibilities that she could use. She slammed her palms on the table below the cabinet with the hair. She sighed, taping her pointer finger. Finally, she looked up to see the other strands of hair, and she thought to herself, what if she tried to combine two people with completely different personalities; two completely different mindsets?

"Of course," she thought aloud. She pinched her own hair in her fingers, and took a bottle with America's hair. "America and I have such different standards, different thoughts of the mind… Yes, this might just work." She grabbed the tresses and a pair of scissors off her desk.

She dashed Alfred's hair into the cauldron she had and sheared two even inches off her pigtails as well. She dashed back to her cabinets again to grab a spell book and the bowl holding the combined ingredients. She poured the disgusting, chunky liquid into the cauldron, watching as it mixed in with her 'witch's brew.' She opened her book, watching the strange blue and pink smoke rise out of the cauldron

She started to recite a strange text that translated into, basically, "Darkness shrouding thy mind, be lifted, and replaced by sight, though it maybe unkind. Let them see what it is like without respect or honor; let them see its true horror."

The smoke, after the words were spoken, turned a vivid, brilliant purple. This confused England; she had performed this exact Bodyswap Spell before (more during the Dark Ages then now), but purple smoke never appeared.

"Something's wrong," whispered England. She flipped through her spell book, looking for anything to do with purple smoke. As she did, the musty storm increased in volume, engulfing the country, FMB, and the room. But she kept franticly flipping through the pages. Finally, she found what she was dreading. She cursed, and as she did, the storm transformed into a hurricane, seeming to ravage the room. It threw Elizabeth back and in to the wall. Then… it vanished.

When England came to, the first thing she noticed was the excruciating ache in her chest and that her spell room looked untouched. She sat up hastily, quickly regretting it. But upon looking around, she saw that nothing was destroyed, let alone touched, in the room; most certainly everything was in its rightful place.

But her cleanliness was not her main worry; she lifted herself off the ground, feeling taller. This added to her worry. She raced (well tripped) to her vanity, only the reflection she had come to know as her own was not there.

Britain looked in the mirror, a horrified look on her face. But her face was no longer feminine, and all traces of grace were replaced with the look a sweater-vest nerd would have.

"Bloody Hell," she whispered, her voice now different. "What have I done?" Instead of her pigtails, England saw giant, caterpillar eyebrows covering half of her, no, his forehead. His hair was now short as America's, and he looked, how should it put politely, ridiculous.

"Crap," he hissed. Britain began to pace. "Bloody Hell, bloody hell, BLOODY HELL!" he screamed, pulling his now short hair. "How stupid and desperate could I have truly been?! I knew I shouldn't've used America's hair; I should have just gone to Poland's place and cut his hair off till he was completely bald!"

Britain went on ranting till finally, Flying Mint Bunny spoke up, he now a she. "Eliz- er, Arthur? Yes that sounds like a nice name. Arthur, shouldn't we, just maybe, immediately look for a cure for this spell?"

"Aww, not you too Mint Bunny!" whined the caterpillar-browed man. "But you're right." So it began; Elizabeth Kirkland, now Arthur Kirkland, flew around the room, collecting dusty book after dusty book. Just as he was about to crack open the first one, he heard his phone go off. It still lay where it was put on the vanity, a bright mint still too. He sighed heavily and looked at the number; it was Francis.

"Hello?" England asked politely, but was bombarded by the cursing voice of a French woman. The cursing died down after a moment.

"You idiot! What ze hell did you do!? I'm a woman! Not zat I mind too much, BUT STILL! This is against ze the laws of nature!" France screeched.

"Calm yourself Franci- uh, Françoise. Yeah, Françoise. Look, I know I can fix this, but I'll need time."

"Time does not fix ze aging process!"

"We don't really age."

"NOT ZE POINT ENGLAND!" And with that, France hung up.

Arthur stared wide-eyed at his phone. He had to fix this; now! France, of all people, was now a girl. I'm going to lay my floor with a pavement pizza if I think about that anymore, England thought.

"I have the feeling we'll be getting more calls like that," Arthur sighed.

"I hope you have an unlimited plan than," Mint Bunny concluded.

To My Dear Readers,

I got stuck half way through the freaking prologue! What does that say about my writer's block?!

Ignoring that, hope you like this prologue and continue you to read the story! :3
(And look; I wrote in accents! :D)

Sincerely,
Dragon-Child of Lightning