11:20 PM 4/11/02 continued 11:34 AM 7/1/2002
E-mail: lac31685@aol.com
By: Chuquita
Quote of the Week: -from "The Powerpuff Girls"
Bubbles: I think Mojo's lost it.
Buttercup: I don't think he ever had it.
Chuey's Corner:
Chuquita: Hello everybody and welcome to another story written by yours truely. Today's story is a special one. And you know
why?
Goku: (grins) (raises his arm) I KNOW! I KNOW! IT'S THE SECOND "PICCY FICCY"!
Chuquita: Correct Son-San! (to audiance) Normally my stories center on Son-San here and Veggie, but this one is about that
wacky little gang that lives on Kami's lookout. Or is it Dende's lookout?
Piccolo: It's MY lookout.
Goku: (happily) PICCY'S HERE!
Piccolo: [freezes] (gulps) Uh, yeah.
Goku: Piccy why are you sitting in Veggie's chair? Where is Veggie?
Piccolo: How should I know. All I know is I got here first so I get the chair.
Dende: [to short to be seen above the desk] What about me! _I_ came here with you! Where's MY chair!
Piccolo: Umm, here. [picks him up by the back collar and sets him down on the table] There. Better?
Dende: This is NOT a chair. This is a desk.
Piccolo: (acting unaware) Is it?
Dende: (frustrated) Yes, yes it is.
Piccolo: ...oh.
Goku: But this is no regular, ordinary desk. It's a (big sparkily eyes) MAAAAGGICCALLL desk. (content smile)
[Dende chuckles; Pic groans]
Piccolo: Ugh, I think I'm starting to get another flashback to my turn as the "little buddy"....
Goku: (cheerfully) Yeah, that was fun wasn't it? You-n-me---FISHIN for FISH....(happy reminicent sniffle) You know what it
makes me wanna do...[turns towards Pic] and that's HUG SOMEBODY!!! [sweatdrops to find Piccolo's chair now empty] (confused)
Uhhhhh....
Piccolo: [sitting in the audiance] It's oh-kay Son! I can see better from here anyway! (waves)
Goku: (to Chu) He just brushed me off didn't he?
Chuquita: Yup.
Goku: (sigh) That's what I thought. Piccy never liked the hugging part of being my "little buddy" anyway. Veggie on the other
hand gets worried if I DON'T hug him.
Vegeta: (boasting) Yes, I AM more involved with that role, aren't I?
Goku: [glances to Veggie's chair to see he has suddenly appeared in it] (scratches his head, confused) (grins) LITTLE VEGGIE!
[hugs him]
Vegeta: [blows a raspberry in Pic's direction]
Piccolo: (sweatdrops) Like it's something to be proud of...
Vegeta: (grins) It IS!
Goku: (hugs Veggie tighter)
Vegeta: (glows bright red) HEEEeee....
Piccolo: (flatly) It must be a saiyajin thing.
Chuquita: (to Pic) Tell me about it. (to audiance) On with the show!
Summary: Piccolo re-re-attempts to take over the world. Using Dende's stupifying powder he has sent the entire planet into
a state of braindead obediance. But what happens when Piccolo's new subjects become too idiotic to perform even simple tasks?
How will the Namekian deal with this turn of events? Find out.
*****************************************************************************************************************************
::Be the butter, see the butter, be the butter, see the butter:: Piccolo sat crosslegged on the floor, meditating on
the fattening milk by-product. His nose twitched. He opened his eyes to see a small butterfly sitting on his green nose.
Piccolo growled, " GET AWAY FROM ME! " he swatted the butterfly away. The winged bug floated infront of his head, " Acursed
thing. How do they even FIND me all the way up here. They're useless. All they do is flutter around during springtime
stupifying everyone around the planet with their mindless flightpaths and sprinkling their pollen in your eyes... " he paused
as an idea struck him. Piccolo lept to his feet, " Stay right there! " he pointed to the butterfly, then zipped off and
returned carrying a large empty glass jar & trapped the bug in it, " You, my little friend, have just given me a GRAND idea."
" Why hello Dende? " Piccolo trotted into Dende's castle, suspicously cheerful.
" Whadda you want now? " Dende retorted.
" Oh, nothing, nothing at all. " Piccolo stood next to Dende's throne & whistled to himself for several seconds
before speaking up again, " Say, you wouldn't happen to know where Kami's 'stupifying powder' is, would you? "
" In the kitchen, cabinet on the left. " Dende replied.
" Thanks. " Piccolo smirked, then left the room with the jar under his arm.
" ... " Dende sat back & closed his eyes, then bolted to attention, " HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!! " he lept off his throne,
" PICCOLO!!!! " the small namekjin dashed into the kitchen to find Piccolo unscrewing the jar of powder, " WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING!!! "
" Umm, new training technique, very modern-edge. " Piccolo babbled, pouring some of the powder into the other jar
containing the butterfly.
" What are you up to? " Dende said bluntly.
Piccolo mock-gasped, " Dende! How could you think I was UP to something. You should NEVER question your elders like
that! "
" HA! " Dende laughed.
" Mr. Popo has brought tea for Piccolo and Dende. Won't they have some of Mr. Popo's t--EEP! " Popo gasped to see the
open jar of stupifying potion.
" Ahh, Popo, sit down. " Piccolo pulled out a chair, " You too Dende. "
" I'd rather stand, thanks. " Dende gritted through his teeth.
" You're not still mad about last time, are you? " Piccolo cocked an eyebrow.
" A-HA! SO YOU _ARE_ PLOTTING AREN'T YOU! " Dende accused him.
" Maybe. " Piccolo grinned.
" Oh no, Mr. Popo has bad feeling about this. " Popo said, worried.
" Oh calm down Popo. " Piccolo rolled his eyes, then plunked the butterfly jar on the table, " Observe, gentlemen, a
simple butterfly. These creatures live all over the world, flying as they please, so unsuspectingly. "
" "unsuspectingly. " Dende quoted him, skeptical.
" Is it just Mr. Popo or is Mr. Popo to believe this is conversation is leading in an all-to-familiar direction. "
Popo turned to Dende, who just nodded.
" I believe it is. " Dende sweatdropped.
" Now, as you know butterflies have the ability to hover all across the globe. That is a known fact. It is also known
that the people of Earth enjoy watching these creatures flutter through the air. " he held up the jar with the butterfly in
it, " I propose we sprinkle Kami's stupifying powder overtop all the butterflies in the lookout and then send them forth down
to Earth to dum-down the inhabitants! Seeking an intellegent being to lead them they will obviously choose me! And thus my
rule over the planet shall FINALLY begin! " Piccolo laughed maniacally for a couple seconds, then stopped, " So, what do you
think? " he said cooly.
" I think you're CRAZY!!! " Dende shouted, " IT'S MY JOB AS THE CURRENT KAMI TO WATCH OVER EARTH! NOT STRIKE DOWN A
WAVE OF DUM-NESS UPON IT!!! "
" Oh....oh-kay, if that's how you feel. " Piccolo shrugged, " POPO! GET THE POWDER AND MEET ME OUTSIDE! " he shouted
heroically, then left with the captured butterfly.
Mr. Popo looked down at the jar of stupifying powder, " Mr. Popo is much in a predicament. " he bit his lip,
" Piccolo's speech was so full of knowledge and leadership, but Mr. Popo knows watering down the brains of the people of
Earth so Piccolo can become it's ruler is wrong. "
" It's oh-kay, Mr. Popo. " Dende patted him on the back, " You just go back to watering the garden. "
" OR you can help me and I'll give you the entire rainforest as your cut of the profits. " Piccolo poked his head in
the doorway.
" The entire rainforest in Mr. Popo's care? " Popo's eyes widened.
" NO POPO NO! DON'T LISTEN! THINK OF ALL THE PEOPLE WHO'S LIVES DEPEND UPON-- " Dende paused as Popo picked up the
jar full of potion, " POPO! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! POPO!! " Mr. Popo backed up, then ran out of the castle. Dende
hung his head, " Ohhhh, Popo! " he sighed, then stood up, determined, " I guess it's up to me to save the planet then, HMM! "
he nodded, " A-WAY! " Dende ran towards the open door, only to have Piccolo slam it in his face. Dende slid down the door in
pain, " ...oww. "
" Now...WHY is Mr. Popo wearing a gas mask again? " Popo asked Piccolo, who was also wearing one. Piccolo held a
smaller mask in his free hand for Dende.
" Well, how am I supposed to be the Earth's GENIUS ruler if I become a moron too! " Piccolo explained.
" UnnGH! " Dende burst the door to the castle open and only took one step before Piccolo stuffed the smaller gas mask
over the young namek's face, " Mmpha!? PICCOLO WHAT---where did all these BUTTERFLIES come from!!! " Dende gawked at the huge
amount of the insects floating above them.
" The butterflies seem to be oddly attracted to Piccolo during his meditating sessions. " Mr. Popo answered.
" You mean THIS is the how many of these things that come to the lookout daily when Piccolo doesn't zap them on
entry? " Dende blinked, amazed.
" Yup. " Piccolo said calmly, then hooked up a spray can to the jar of powder.
" Umm, Piccolo, won't spraying the butterflies make them lose their wits too? " Dende asked.
" Hmm? Nah. For some reason this stuff only effects higher life forms. " Piccolo shrugged, " So things like squirels
and chipmunks and rabbits won't be effected. "
" Great, I'm sure the fuzzy forest animals will save us the next time we're attacked by some super-villain. " Dende
said sarcastically.
Piccolo cocked an eyebrow at him, " You're, joking, right? "
" OF COURSE I'M JOKING!! " Dende screamed, then folded his arms.
" Mr. Popo suggests Dende calm down due to Dende's raised blood pressure is making him high-strung. " Popo nodded.
" FINE PICCOLO! DESTROY THE MINDS OF EVERY PERSON ON EARTH! SEE IF I CARE! " Dende exclaimed, stoming back inside.
" Good, I'm glad you agree with me on that then. "
" ARG! " Dende fell down, animé style, then got up and walked through the door, " Why do I even bother! "
" NOW FLY MY MINIONS! FLY AND SPREAD YOUR POLLEN OF STUPIDITY ACROSS THE GLOBE!! " Piccolo laughed manically, " GO
FORTH!! " the butterflies instantly took heed and flew off. Piccolo stood there, proud of himself, " You know Popo, I am in
rare form today. One of my evil schemes might actually WORK this time! "
" Mr. Popo is astonished at Piccolo's ability to command his forces of winged insects. " Popo smiled.
" And you should be. Now if you'll excuse me--I'm going to suit up! " he flung his gas mask to the ground and marched
inside.
Popo looked down over the edge of Kami's lookout, slightly worried, " Mr. Popo worries if Mr. Popo did the right
thing in aiding Piccolo with his butterflies...oh well, how many people would really leave their homes just because of a
giant brigade of butterflies anyway? "
" Hey everybody! Lookit all the butterflies! " a random person on the streets of Capsule City said. The entire
town-full of people instantly ran outside and gazed upward.
" Oh Lucky, even though your wicked grandmother-in-law hypnotized you into killing me I know our love for each other
will somehow break the spell so we can kill her and her evil son, your mother's ex-husband. " the girl on the TV said.
" I know *twitch*, we can do it, *twitch*, together, Eliza--*twitch*--beth. " the boy next to her on the screen
replied.
" How true, how true. " Vegeta sniffled as he sat infront of the televison set.
" Lucky, I have a plan. A plan that will allow us to defeat them both and save you at the same time. " the girl
smiled knowningly. Vegeta leaned closer to the TV screen, curiously, " The first thing we must do is---*FIZZZ*-- " Vegeta's
jaw dropped to the floor as the screen switched to TV snow, " --we interupt this program to bring you this important news
bulletin! " the TV now showed a newscaster sitting behind a desk. Vegeta snarled and sat back in his seat.
" Yeah well this BETTER be important! " he silently glared at the newscaster.
" This just in--the entire planet has suddenly become wildly overpopulated with BUTTERFLIES! "
The ouji fell to the ground animé style, " ERR, YOU INTERUPTED "GENERAL HOSPITAL" FOR THIS!! "
" Yes, yes we did! " the newscaster replied. Vegeta sweatdropped, " And now back to your local programing! "
Vegeta shut the TV off, " Yeah, well maybe I don't even WANT to watch it NOW. " he stuck his tongue out at the TV
and spread out on the couch.
" TOUSSAN TOUSSAN! " Bura shouted eagerly, dashing in from outside, " You have to see this! There are MILLIONS of
BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLIES hovering over the city-- "
" --I know. " he replied, cutting her off. Bura snorted at him.
" Toussan come see them! They're gorgeous! "
" NO! I don't want to see any stupid butt-flies! " he said stubbornly, crossing his arms.
" Not BUTT-FLIES! BUT-TER-FLIES! " Bura grabbed his arm, " Come on! You'll enjoy yourself! "
" Hmmph! " the ouji pulled his arm away.
Bura rubbed her chin in thought, " Hmmm...OH! " she got an idea, then grinned slyly at the ouji, " I bet we could
catch some and then bring them home to Mr. Goten's Daddy. I'm sure he would just LOVE getting such a special LITTLE gift from
his special LITTLE buddy? "
Vegeta's eyes shot wide open. A smile crossed his face, " ... " he sat up, " Bura? "
" ...yes? "
" Go fetch me a net!! And hurry! "
" YAY!!! " Bura squealed, then zipped off.
" OOoooOOooooooOOOOOoOOOooh, preeeeety. " Goku said in awe as he stood outside his home, watching the butterflies
float around him, " Aren't they preeeeety, Chi-chan? "
" *SMACK*! " Goku cringed as he heard the sound of a fly-swatter smash against the wall.
" Goku! Where did all these things come from! " Chi-Chi said, aggrivated as she stomped outside, " They're
EVERYWHERE! They're even in the house! "
" Well, yeah, that's because you left all the windows open. " Goku said uneasily.
" ... "
" ... "
" Oh. Right. Remind me to close those. " Chi-Chi said, slightly embarassed.
" I bet it's butterfly mating season, or something. " Goku cocked his head sideways as the butterflies, then noticed
the purplish-blue powder flying off their wings, " Hmm, that's strange. " he grabbed one and ate it, " Tastes normal. " he
swallowed the bug.
" GOKU!! " Chi-Chi gasped.
" What? "
" ....ugh, nevermind. " she groaned, " I bet this is all part of some type of ouji-plot! " Chi-Chi put her hands on
her hips.
" Nah, Veggie's plots are never THIS pretty. " Goku said in reply, then noticed to figures across the way and flew
over to them, " Hi Gohan hi Goten! I see you're gazing at the pretty bugs too, huh? " he grinned, then paused when he gained
no response. The saiyajin flew infront of them, only to gasp when he saw they were both staring upward with a clueless look
on their faces, " Gohan? Goten? " he said nervously.
" Uhhhhhhhhh.... " Gohan said in a monotone voice.
" ...uhhhhhhhhhh.... " Goten soon followed him, both still staring.
" ... " Goku blinked, then screamed, " CHI-CHAAAAAN!!! " he flew back over to her, " CHI-CHAN SOMETHING REALLY SCARY
IS GOING ON AND-- " the large saiyajin froze to see Chi-Chi now had the same dum expression no her face, " Chi-chan?
CHI-CHAN!!!......NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!! "
" Ahhh, *fake-gasp*, who's that handsome namek in the mirror? Why, that's Piccolo-sama, RULER OF EARTH! MUHAHAHAHA! "
Piccolo stood infront of a full-length mirror wearing a crown on his head that read King Piccolo Daimou on it.
" Piccolo, for the last time, PLEASE don't go through with this! " the namek whipped around to see Dende and Mr. Popo
" Whadda you want now? You're own country? Well it's not happening. " Piccolo folded his arms, " But if you consede
to my demands I might through in a villege or two up in Canada for you. "
" ERRR, I DON'T WANT TO RULE OVER ANY PART OF YOUR BRAINLESS PLANET!!! " Dende yelled angrily.
" Oh, so it IS my planet after all. " Piccolo boasted. Dende slapped himself on the forehead.
" Piccolo, if the rest of the namekjins back on New Namek-sei knew about this you would be in SUCH deep shi-- "
" --it's not nice to curse at your elders, Dende. " Piccolo smirked, interupting him.
" ...TROUBLE. You would be in such deep TROUBLE. " Dende gritted his teeth, correcting himself, " Not to mention what
would happen to ME, the Kami of the planet for allowing you to do this! "
Piccolo snickered, " Come on Dende, what are they gonna do to you? Chinese water-torture? "
" ... "
" Really? " he said, intreged.
Dende sighed, " Piccolo, Mr. Popo and I agree that what you are doing is wrong. "
" POPO!? YOU SWITCHIN SIDES ON ME POPO!! " Piccolo looked at Mr. Popo with shock and disgust.
" Mr. Popo is sorry Piccolo, but the guilt is so heavy for Mr. Popo to bear and-- "
" --AND you just lost your rainforest, Popo! "
" NO!! NO! MR. POPO NEEDS HIS RAINFOREST! "
" Well you won't need it now that you don't HAVE one. " Piccolo chuckled. Mr. Popo burst into tears and left the
room.
" OHH! Mr. Popo feels so violated! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! OH great heavens have mercy upon Mr. Popo! " he sobbed as he made
his exit.
" Piccolo, " Dende laughed nervously, begging with him, " You don't want to do this, REALLY. "
" Don't I? "
" Of course you don't! Uhh, think of Gohan! "
" Gohan? " Piccolo blinked.
" Yes, think of chibi Gohan, you know, little 5 year old Gohan who you took under your wing after you....killed his
father and his evil uncle and....trained him in the wilderness for a whole year....while his mother stayed at home worried
sick about him.... " Dende tried to explain, the room now dark with the exception of two bright spotlights on Dende and
Piccolo. Mr. Popo had been in the backround playing a large violin to Dende's speech.
" Luh--little Gohan? " Piccolo's bottom lip wobbled sadly.
" Yes! " Dende smiled weakly, " And now you're going to turn him along with the rest of his family and the entire
planet into mindless zombies? "
" Hmm....yup! " Piccolo grinned.
" OHHH! " Mr. Popo along with his violin and Dende fell to the ground.
" Such is the price to pay for world domination... " Piccolo said dramatically, " --oh well! Let's go greet the
commoners Dende! " he thrust his arm in the air, then zipped off.
Dende hung his head, " This is going to be a very long day. "
" Mr. Popo agrees with Dende on that. "
" Haha haha haha! " Vegeta said as he leapt in the air and caught several more of the butterflies in his net, " Oh
B-chan you were right, Kakay IS going to love this! " he grinned, then snickered evilly, " It'll just melt his little
kako-heart to know how his "little buddy" caught some butterflies ESPECIALLY for him. " he hugged his net, " AND that _I_
share his "love of nature", unlike ONNA who just swats the darn things. "
" ... "
" B-chan? Bura? " Vegeta walked over to the little blue-hairred girl, who was staring up at the sky full of
butterflies. He waved his hand infront of her face, " B-chan? " Vegeta said, worried, " Buh, B-chan are you alright? " the
ouji looked around, then gawked to see everyone else in the entire city including the rest of his family were now staring
upward with the same stupified expression on their faces, " This is not good. " he said flatly as Goku suddenly teleported
behind him.
" LITTLE VEGGIE!!! "
" AHH! " Vegeta shrieked, then whipped around to see Goku holding a clueless Chi-Chi under one arm and Gohan under
the other one. Goten was laying on his back, also dazed. Goku dropped them to the ground, only to watch them wander over to
where the rest of the city's inhabitants stood as they joined them with staring upward, " Ka--Kakarrotto?! What are you DOING
here! And what's going ON! "
" OH LITTLE VEGGIE I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE SAFE! " Goku sobbed, glomping onto the ouji and hugging tightly, " I thought
everyone had gone zombie on me but not you! You'd never do that to me would you Veggie? "
The ouji's face glowed bright red, " No Kakay I wouldn't... " he trailed off. The heat from his glowing hand sent his
butterfly net ablaze, instantly frying the insects inside it. He held the net infront of the bigger saiyajin, " I, I guh--got
something for you, Kaka-chan. "
Goku looked down at the net full of fried butterflies and squealed, " Veggie made me snacks! " he grabbed one of the
fried insects and stuffed it in his mouth, " Mmm. Veggie makes yummy stuff! " he patted his stomach.
" Huh? " Vegeta blinked, the redness fading from his body. He looked down at the net and yelped to see what had
happened to it along with the butterflies. He looked back at Goku, " You, EAT these? "
" Sure, who doesn't? " Goku shrugged happily.
Vegeta shook his head, " Kakarrot you disgust me. "
" Aww, ya don't mean that! Do you lil Veggie? " Goku teased, then tugged at one of the ouji's cheeks, instantly
sending the glow flooding back to Vegeta's face.
" Kaka...rrotto....please...stop that. " Vegeta squeaked out.
" Awwwww, alright. " Goku pouted, letting go of the ouji's cheek. Vegeta rubbed his cheek in pain, then let out a
little giggle and shook it off.
" Hmm, Kakarrotto, did you notice that everyone in Capsule City has just turned into a mindless idiot? " Vegeta asked
him.
" Oh Veggie, it's not just this city, it's the WHOLE PLANET!! " Goku said, frightened. Vegeta's eyes grew wide.
" What? "
" Veggie I've been to a whole bunch of places before I dropped Chi-chan, Gohan and Goten over here at your house.
Whatever has happened it's happened to ALL our friends! Yamcha, Kuririn, Tenshinhan, Choutzu... "
" Hmm... "
" Do you know what this means! " Goku gulped, leaning towards him.
" Yes, I do...THIS MEANS THAT WE CAN FINALLY BLOW THIS PLANET AND TRAVEL THE STARS TOGETHER!!! " the ouji grinned,
starry-eyed.
" Uhh, actually I was thinking more along the lines of us trying to find out what happened, seeing as we haven't been
effected. " Goku said uneasily. Vegeta snapped out of it.
" Huh? What did I say? "
" ...nothin. " Goku looked away.
" Well then, let's go figure out what happened. " Vegeta crossed his arms, " The first thing to do is to examine the
source of this global mind-numbing. "
" Funi-mation? " Goku offered. Vegeta stared at him blankly.
" NO! The butterflies! Now grab one and follow me! "
Goku looked up at the fluttering insects, then suddenly his tongue shot out like a frog's, snatching one of the
butterflies and pulling it back in till his tongue was sticking just far enough out of his mouth to keep the butterfly in the
daylight.
Vegeta blinked in shock at the larger's saiyajin's newfound ability, " Kak--where did you learn--how---ugh, just come
here! "
" I ab ad or errvase iddle Veh-gee! " Goku said through his tongue, saluting the ouji and running inside after him.
" HEAVE! HO! HEAVE! HO! COME ON! CAN'T YOU GUYS MOVE ANY FASTER! " Piccolo complained as he sat atop a large throne.
Mr. Popo and Dende were pulling him down the street at the outskirts of Capsule City, " DENDE! KAMI COULD MOVE FASTER THAN
YOU! AND HE'S THREE TIMES YOUR AGE!!!--I should know, I'm melded with him. "
" I hate you. " Dende said flatly.
" WHAT WAS THAT!? " Piccolo called up from ontop of his throne.
" URG!! " Dende snarled, then continued forward, " Mr. Popo! Do something! " he shouted.
" Mr. Popo...so tired...so overheated... " Mr. Popo gasped for air, then paused and snapped his fingers, causing a
pitcher of iced tea to appear before him. He took the lid off and started chugging the drink out of the container, " Ahh!
Raspberry. " he wiped his mouth, " Would Dende care for a drink? "
" No thanks Mr. Popo, I don't drink iced tea. " Dende shook his hands in protest.
Mr. Popo shrugged, " Oh well, that is Dende's loss. " he said, then started to drink again.
" Hey Popo, Dende, stop a second will ya? " Piccolo said as he looked through a pair of binoculars. Relieved, Mr.
Popo and Dende dropped their hold on Piccolo's throne. Piccolo got out his megaphone, " PEOPLE OF CAPSULE CITY! "
Everyone in the city instantly turned towards Piccolo and the others.
" THIS IS I, THE GREAT PICCOLO-SAMA! RULER OF EARTH! BOW BEFORE ME OR FACE DIVINE PUNISHMENT! "
" Feh, like THAT'S gonna work. " Dende rolled his eyes, then sweatdropped to see the thousands of citizens now on
their knees, " Oh heaven help me. " he slapped himself on the forehead.
" HAIL PICCOLO-SAMA! " the people said in unison.
Piccolo grinned happily, " This is too good to be true. " he said to himself, then pulled out his megaphone, " NOW!
CITIZENS YOUR FIRST ORDER IS TO BUILD THE RULER OF EARTH A CASTLE!! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT? "
" HAI PICCOLO-SAMA! " they responded.
" Good, good. AND MAKE IT GREEN!...A BIG GREEN CASTLE!....WITH LOTS OF LIGHTS! "
Dende and Mr. Popo sweatdropped.
" HAI PICCOLO-SAMA! "
" Wow, I've never gotten THIS far....heh-heh-heh, man am I good. " Piccolo smirked, impressed with himself.
" Move it on that wall...no, on second thought, I liked it back where it was, no, wait, the far right wall. That's
perfect...nope, that doesn't look right either. " Piccolo said as he sat atop a modest-looking, yet very tall silver throne.
A long chain of stairs led up to it.
" Piccolo, what are you doing now? " Dende said, walking into the room.
" Hmm? Oh, I'm trying to figure out where to put the giant portait. What do you think, the left wall or the one
directly across the room from us? " he asked casually.
" I don't know, I kind of like the right side and--WHAT AM I SAYING!!! " Dende screamed, rubbing his hand on his bald
green head in aggrivation. He walked over to Yamcha and Tenshinhan, who were holding the humongous painting up. Dende whipped
the cover off it to expose a gigantic picture of Piccolo himself, standing proudly. Dende sweatdropped, " Gee, Piccolo, you
don't think you could have the people of Capsule City paint a BIGGER portait of yourself? You can still see part of the wall
behind it. " he said with sarcasm oozing from his voice.
" It does leave a little left to be desired. " Piccolo rubbed his chin. Yamcha and Tenshinhan wobbled back and forth,
the weight of the portait about to give way on their knees, " MINNIONS! A LARGER PORTAIT! ON THE DOUBLE! " Yamcha and
Tenshinhan finally collapsed under the weight, sending the portait dive-bombing to the floor. The two senshi poked their
heads out of the picture, dazed and confused.
" Ugh, Piccolo that's not what I meant. " Dende shook his head as another group of citizens came and took the
painting, along with the duo's head still wedged inside it, away.
" Umm, Piccolo? " Mr. Popo entered from the kitchen.
" What do you want NOW Popo! I already gave you that 3 story high green-house! Isn't that enough? " Piccolo cocked
an eyebrow at him.
" Mr. Popo is afraid that is not the problem. " Mr. Popo looked down at the floor.
" Problem? " Piccolo ran down the stairs and up to him, " Wha, what do you mean, "problem"? We have a problem? "
" Mr. Popo feels Piccolo would only fully understand Mr. Popo's predicament if Piccolo were to follow Mr. Popo into
the kitchen? " Popo looked up at Piccolo, who had a look of puzzled bewilderment on his face.
" The kitchen? " he said as he followed him through the doorway, " Is that all? If we're just out of food we'll go
hord into the next city, the minnions are the only ones who need the energy. Nameks don't eat. "
Mr. Popo opened the door to the kitchen to reveal the entire staff in a deep stupor. People were walking into walls,
backing up, and then walking into them again. Others were trying to remember how to use their cooking utencils, and the head
chef was staring blankly off into the distance, drool driping from her open mouth and falling onto the frying pan in her hand
which she held over the stove. The drool continued to sizzle in the pan containing an old sock and a very burnt fish.
Piccolo's eyes widened till they filled half his head. His jaw dropped to the ground.
" WHAT HAPPENED HERE!!!! " he screamed at the top of his lungs, then froze to see no one had responded him.
" Dung. " one of the random cooks said, then walked into the wall again.
Piccolo's teeth chattered, " POPO!!! " he grabbed the genie by his collar, " POPO WHAT'S GOING ON! WHY ARE THEY ALL
ACTING LIKE THIS!!! "
" This could be just an assumption on Mr. Popo's part, but-- " Mr. Popo trailed off.
" --BUT??? " Piccolo said, urging him to continue.
" But perhaps Kami's stupifying potion has no exact limit. If this is true then sections of Piccolo's hypnotized
"minnions" brains will continue to deteriorate or close their function until-- "
" --they all DIE!!! " Piccolo yelped in terror, " They're going to dummer and dummer until they DIE, is THAT what
you're trying to tell me, Popo?! "
" Mr. Popo does not know this for SURE, but... " Mr. Popo trails off.
" THIS IS HORRIBLE!! I CAN'T RULE OVER EARTH IF THERE ISN'T ANYONE LEFT TO RULE _OVER_!!! " Piccolo wailed.
" Mr. Popo must point out that Vegeta-san does not have a planet to rule over and yet he manages to rule his ONE
subject very well. " Mr. Popo said, trying to comfort the tall namekian.
" Yes, but he's got some kind of obsessive-compulsive disorder, or something. " Piccolo rattled off, then got up and
back to his panicking, " OH POPO! WHAT TWISTED FATE! I FINALLY CONQUER THE EARTH AND THROUGH MY OWN CARELESSNESS BY IGNORING
THAT DUM STUPIDITY POTION'S LABEL I HAVE DOOMED ALL HUMANITY AND IN TURN MY DREAM FOR THIS PLANET!!! "
" Indeed irony DOES seem to follow Piccolo around like a lost puppy. " Mr. Popo shook his head.
" THIS IS ALL _YOUR_ FAULT POPO! _YOU_ SHOULD HAVE WARNED ME AHEAD OF TIME!!! " Piccolo shouted, pointing at him.
" Ha! It is Piccolo's fault for trying to accomplish the evil deed of overthrowing the planet in the first place that
has led to his demise. " Mr. Popo said stubbornly.
" ERRR!! " Piccolo growled, then sniffed the air, " Something's burning. " he walked over to his head chef, " Hey,
Chi-Chi, you smell something bur--HOLY CHIHUAHUA!! " he gasped to see the whole stove was on fire. Piccolo quickly grabbed a
nearby fire extinguisher and quickly sprayed it on the fire. He grabbed the burning pan out of her grasp, threw it on the
floor and sprayed that in addition, " Kuso! Chi-Chi, weren't you even paying attention!!! " he shouted.
" ... "
" URG! LOOK AT YOUR PLANET'S RULER WHEN HE IS SPEAKING TO YOU! " Piccolo spun her towards him, then shrieked to see a
more dumbfounded look on her face then any Goku had ever managed to pull off. Piccolo gulped, " This is not good. Not good at
all. "
" Piccolo-sama! " a voice called from the ajoining room.
" Huh? Gohan? " Piccolo blinked, then put his hands on Chi-Chi's shoulders, " You stay right there, got it? "
" Uhhhhhhh.... "
" OH! " Piccolo said, nervous, " COMING GOHAN! " he ran towards the room to see Gohan standing there infront of the
thousands of workers who were busy creating another portrait of their new namekian leader.
" Hey Mister Piccolo, we're trying to finish your painting, but we have a little trouble. " he scratched his head.
Piccolo sighed with relief at Gohan, who still sounded his normal highly-intellegent self, " Yes Gohan, what is it? "
he asked, smiling weakly.
" Yeah, uhm, Piccolo, which two colors make green again? Yellow and purple or blue and orange? "
Piccolo's shoulders hung at his sides, " Come again? "
" Which two colors make-- "
" --Gohan move. " he pushed his former pupil out of the way, then let out another shriek. The room was covered in
paint, his new portait now looked like a kindergardener's chicken scratch, and his well-selected group of artists were busy
fingerpainting on one another. Piccolo screamed.
" WHAT HAS KAMI'S WRATH CREATED!!!! "
" There there, it will be alright Mister Piccolo. " Gohan patted him on the back. Piccolo looked down at him, " I am
sure it will all turn out just fi....uhhhhhhh... " Gohan's mind had suddenly hit the pause button and the young demi-saiyajin
was now uttering the same monotone sound as his mother.
" Gohan? GOHAN DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!! " Piccolo shouted, shaking him back and forth, " YOU'RE LIKE A SON TO ME GOHAN!
DON'T! YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THAT!! AREN'T YOU?! "
" Uhhhhhhh.... "
" ...Mr. Popo I need to lie down. " Piccolo said flatly, his eyes bugging out of his head.
" Agreed. " Mr. Popo nodded, then led Piccolo to a nearby bedroom.
" Ohhhhhhh....my head.... " Piccolo groaned, half asleep. He had covered his face with a pillow and was sitting on
his back, " I can't believe this has happened...it must be some mistake..some twisted cosmic joke! "
" WHEEEE!!! " the bed Piccolo was laying on suddenly bounced back, like a giant 2 ton brick had just dropped upon it.
Piccolo slowly pulled the pillow off his face to see Goku at the bottom of the bed, cheerfully bouncing up and down.
" Oh no! " Piccolo groaned and thrust his head back onto the matress.
" HI PICCY-CHAN! Why do you seem so glum? " Goku laughed, all smiles.
" Why? Because I've just doomed planet Earth--MY PLANET EARTH--to an eternity of dum-ness! " Piccolo exclaimed.
" Aww, *bounce*, that's too, *bounce*, bad Piccolo. " Goku frowned.
" Yeah, it is... " Piccolo trailed off, then stopped and glanced up, " WAITAMINUTE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!? And how
come you don't sound like you've lost your mind yet? " he blinked, confused.
" Well, me-n-Veggie did some research...heh-heh... " Goku trailed off, grinning even wider.
" AND??? "
" Huh?--OH! And we found out that this stuff only effects humans, or in Gohan and Goten and the others cases, people
with human blood and/or ansestry. " he explained.
" You're kidding. " Piccolo said in disbelief, " Then, then that means-- "
" I am free from the dum-disease! " Goku stopped bouncing, " And so is Veggie. " he pointed to the smiling figure in
the doorway. Piccolo sat up and put his legs over the side of the bed, " I can't believe this! This is a nightmare!!! "
" Go ahead, tell him what you wanted to tell him Veggie. " Goku said, turning towards the smaller saiyajin.
Vegeta smirked, " Umm, yes. "Great Piccolo-sama", ruler of Earth, Kakarrotto and I would like your permission to
take leave of the planet and go on a private tour of the universe togeth--OWW! " Goku teleported to him and shoved his elbow
in the ouji's side.
" That's not what you said you were gonna tell him! " Goku said, slightly annoyed.
" I can dream, can't I? " Vegeta snorted, then turned back in Piccolo's direction, " We have discovered exactly what
the substance in your butterfly powder causes the humans to turn into drooling idiots. " he held up a clear baggie full of
blue dust, " And after some interrogation from Kakarrot I managed to figure out WHO it was who had put this stuff on the
insects in the first place. "
" Did you? Really? " Piccolo laughed nervously.
" Yes, however, in order to fully examine this substance we must boil it into a liquid. Since Kakarrotto cannot work
a stove and feared his little buddy, *smile* would get hurt if HE operated the kitchen machinery we decided to seek the
help of a master chef--and evil witch bent on my destruction--ONNA. "
" I'm sorry, but I don't think that's going to wor-- "
" ... "
" ... "
Piccolo smirked, " Follow me, kitchen's that-a-way. "
" HOLY MACKERAL WHAT HAPPENED HERE?! " Vegeta gawked as they stood in the kitchen. 3/4ths of the cooks and attendents
were now lying on the floor, seemingly awake, " THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE DEAD?! "
" Hmm, it appears the lack of brain function has put them into a temporary coma-like state in which the use of their
limbs along with their natrual balance has been ceased in order to keep their inner organs functioning at their possible
maximum. " Goku explained, poking one of the cooks.
" ... " Vegeta and Piccolo stared at him, wide-eyed.
" Son? You alright? " Piccolo asked, a little worried.
" ....FISH! " the large saiyajin chirped, happy as ever. Piccolo wiped the sweat off his brow.
" Kakay scares me when he's smart. " Vegeta gulped.
" Where's my Chi-chan? " Goku frowned, searching the kitchen for her. Piccolo pointed to one of the few figures still
standing, " CHI-CHAN!! " he squealed with excitement as he zipped over to her, " Oh my wonderful Chi-chan I was so scared I'd
never see you again! " Goku sobbed, holding her hands. He waited for a response, then blinked to see the dazed look on her
face that covered most of the rest of the people on Earth, " Chi...Chi-chan? " he said nervously, then chuckled and wiped the
side of her mouth, " Heehee, you had a little drool driblet down your cheek! " the large saiyajin showed the slop that was
now on his finger to her, " Silly Chi-chan. "
" ... "
" ...PICCOLO!!! " Goku screamed at the top of his lungs. The tall namek instantly rushed over to him.
" What? What is it? What happened?! " he looked around in a panic.
" Chi-chan won't speak to me... " Goku felt his eyes water, a pouty expression on his face, " Why won't she speak to
me Piccy? "
" Because she was affected with the powder the same way the rest of the Earthlings were. " Piccolo stammered, trying
to ignore whatever sad expression the saiyajin had on his face.
Goku looked over at Chi-Chi, then cried, " SOMEBODY HUG ME!!! "
" ...hey shorty, get over here. " Piccolo signaled to Vegeta, who glared at him was he walked up to the group.
" Don't call me that. " the ouji said bluntly, then noticed the look of utter dispair on Goku's face, " AND WHAT DID
YOU DO TO KAKA-CHAN!! "
" _I_ didn't do _anything_ to "Kaka-chan". " Piccolo mocked him, " He took one look at Chi there and burst into
tears. "
" Yes, but if you hadn't released your "idiot powder" on the planet Kakay wouldn't be crying right now, would he?
WOULD HE?!! " Vegeta raised his voice. Piccolo stood there, unmoved.
" You know, you give a whole new meaning to the term "little buddy". " Piccolo just shook his head.
" There there Kakay, it'll be alright. " the shorter saiyajin reached up on his tippy-toes to pat Goku on the head.
He took one look at Chi-Chi in 'drooling idiot mode' and burst into laughter, " HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OH MY--ONNA! LOOK AT
HER FACE!! HAHAHAHAHA YOU LOOK DUMMER THAN KAKARROT HERE! In fact, I bet you ARE now! "
Goku remembered the reason they were there and glanced at the bag of blue powder, " The--there's gotta be a way to
snap her out of it, right Piccolo? I mean, Chi-Chi's one of the smartest people I know. In fact I know a lot of smart people,
but she's one of the smarter ones! "
" I don't know. I haven't tried to snap ANY of them out of it. " Piccolo shrugged. Goku scratched his head, then
grinned as an idea popped into it.
" HA! " he snapped his fingers, then grabbed Chi-Chi, dipped her and planted a big wet kiss on her lips, " Chi-chan?,
Oh Chi-chan? " the saiyajin said slyly, " Guess what? We just won 20 billion dollars and Gohan's been accepted to an Ivy
League college and I dumped Veggie and he got hit by oncoming traffic in a freak accident and died and there's nothing left
of him because he burst into flames and melted. "
" ... "
" WHAT?! " Vegeta shouted, offended, Piccolo bopped him on the head in an attempt to shush him. Vegeta grumbled and
rubbed his bopped head.
" So? What do you think? Pretty great, huh Chi-chan? " Goku put on his best smile.
" ... "
" Chi-Chi? "
" ... "
" PLEASE SAY SOMETHING!!! WHY DON'T YOU SAY SOMETHING!!! " he wailed, hugging her.
" Kakarrotto, I feel this is something that would gain your desired results if _I_ were to try and snap her out of
this daze. " Vegeta smirked evilly.
" *sniffle*, I dunno Veggie, " Goku rubbed his eyes, " You're not exactly Chi-chan's favorite person in the world. "
" Move. " Vegeta pulled the larger saiyajin away from his embrace with the dazed Chi-Chi. The ouji stood before her,
" Hello Onna. "
" ... "
" Hmm... " he grabbed a nearby pie and held it in his hands, " You know one of the things I've always wanted to do to
you, Onna? "
" ... "
" *SPLAT*! " the ouji smushed the cherry pie onto Chi-Chi's face. Goku and Piccolo gawked in amazement as he took
two more pies and smacked them against the sides of her head, then sprayed a large blob of whipped cream ontop of her head &
placed a cherry ontop, " HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! "
" VEGGIE!! " Goku gasped, " YOU LEAVE CHI-CHAN ALONE!!! "
" How's that feel Onna? " the ouji cackled, ignoring Goku's plea, he ran into the other room and returned with a
bucket of green paint, " Feel free to stop me anytime! " Vegeta grinned, then poured the paint down her shirt. Goku clasped
his hand over his mouth in horror, " Whatsa matter? Not even a flinch? " Vegeta fake-pouted, then turned to Piccolo, " I have
to say, I do enjoy this new Earth of yours, Namek! It's quite entertaining. "
Piccolo fought the urge to pummel Vegeta into the wall.
" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA---ha? "
Chi-Chi suddenly blinked, to Vegeta's surprise. She focused all her efforts into raising her arm, then grabbed one of
the pie-tins and thrust it at Vegeta's face, knocking him halfway across the room towards Piccolo and Goku. Piccolo sent his
elbow smashing down upon the top of the ouji's head, sending him crashing to the floor.
" YAY! CHI-CHAN DID SOMETHING! YAY YAY YAY! " Goku cheered happily.
" Ohhhhhhhh... " Vegeta groaned from on the floor, " On second thought, I liked the old Earth, CHANGE IT BACK RIGHT
NOW!! " he pointed at Piccolo.
" UGH! I DON'T KNOW HOW! " Piccolo gritted through his teeth.
" Mr. Popo knows how. "
Piccolo's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at the chubby genie in the doorway, " Say what? "
" Piccolo is ready to admit Piccolo's defeat, is Mr. Popo correct? " Popo asked him.
" OF COURSE I AM! LOOK AT THIS!! I MIGHT AS WELL BE RULING OVER A BUNCH OF MANNEQUINS!!! " Piccolo exclaimed, waving
his arms about, " AND DON'T ASK ME ABOUT THE TWO SAIYAJINS BECAUSE THEY DON'T COUNT!! "
" 1, 2, 3--HEY! " Goku said, slightly offended as he pointed to the fingers on one hand with the opposite one.
" You mean you knew a way to change everyone back all along and you never said anything? " Vegeta inquired.
" Well, Mr. Popo WAS going to say that Mr. Popo has a solution to Piccolo's dilemna if Piccolo wishes to hear it. "
Mr. Popo nodded.
" THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS SOONER!!! " Piccolo screamed in his face.
" All Piccolo had to do was ask. "
" ... " Piccolo blinked, then smacked himself on the forehead, " Ohhhhhh, my head... "
" So, Po-po-po-san, does this mean you have a way to save my Chi-chan and the rest of the planet? " Goku said quickly
with anticipation.
" Mr. Popo may very well hold the key to planet Earth's saving. " Mr. Popo smiled.
" YEEEEE!!! " the large saiyajin squealed, " May I hug you Popo-san? " he grinned.
" Well-- " Mr. Popo trailed off.
" GRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrr.... " an evil, over-protective scowl sounded from beside Popo. Mr. Popo glanced nervously to his
right to see a carnivorous rage on Vegeta's face. He gulped and turned back to the larger saiyajin.
" Mr. Popo would feel it is not necessary for Mr. Son to show his appreciations through physical affection and would
like to add that it would be more appropirate for Mr. Son to perhaps send Mr. Popo a thank you card or a small potted plant
in exchange for his help. " Popo shook, nervous.
" Awww..oh-kay. " the saiyajin pouted.
" So, Popo, how do we reverse the potion. I mean, is there some kind of mystical counteracting spell of some sort? "
Piccolo said, confused.
" Actually, no. " Popo said. Piccolo sweatdropped, " There is a chant that when played over the huge megaphone on the
roof of Piccolo's castle will most probably return the brains of the citizens to normal. "
" A chant huh...well, alright. "
" Oh-kay, WHY are we wearing earplugs again? " Piccolo said as he, Goku, Vegeta, and Mr. Popo stood on the roof near
Piccolo's giant universal megaphone he had just installed several hours ago. They were all wearing freakishly large earplugs
in their ears.
" What? " Mr. Popo blinked.
" I SAID, "WHY ARE WE WEARING EARPLUGS AGAIN"!!! "
" MR. POPO IS SORRY! FOR HE CANNOT HEAR PICCOLO WITH THESE LARGE PLUGS IN HIS EARS! " Mr. Popo shouted back.
Piccolo sweatdropped, then yanked Popo's left earplug out and screamed in his hear, " I WANT TO KNOW WHY WE'RE ALL
WEARING THESE STUPID EARPLUGS!!! "
Popo wobbled back and forth, " Ohhhh, Mr. Popo's ears are ringing. Surely his eardrums have been shot. " he took his
plug and stuffed it back in, then, after a momentary glare directed at Piccolo, he continued to speak, " For those of you who
do not know any better, the mystical brain-chant, if performed to the ears of those who have not been infected with the
stupidifying powder, their brains will EXPLODE INSIDE THEIR HEADS!!! "
Vegeta yelped and lept into Goku's arms, then blinked, realizing where he was. The larger saiyajin grinned down at
him and Vegeta jumped back onto the ground and dusted himself off.
" Heeheehee! " Goku giggled at the ouji.
" And now ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Popo shall perform the brain-chant. " he picked up the megaphone and took a deep
breath, " Ah---LOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOO!!!! "
Piccolo and gang fell to the floor, animé style.
" THAT'S the "brain-chant"!? " Vegeta sweatdropped.
" I can sing better than that! " Goku whined.
" SHUDDUP! POPO IS HELPING US AND HE DESERVES SOME RESPECT--at least until he's finished his song anyway. " Piccolo
remarked, then yelped as Mr. Popo leapt ontop of the namek's head.
" LUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUU!!!! " Popo sang as he tap danced on
Piccolo's head, then jumped off it and began to "lalala" around the rooftop. Piccolo layed there on the ground, tapping his
fingers on the floor in silent aggrivation.
" Wow! Lookit Mr. Popo go! " Goku said happily, " Hey, Po, go. Popo gogo! Go PO! Go PO! Go PO! " he did his own
little jig.
" Sit down, Kakarrot. " Vegeta said bluntly.
" For once I agree with shorty, sit down already Son. " Piccolo dryly moaned.
" Aww, poo. " Goku pouted, doing so, then smiled, " Poo, goo. GOO POO! GOO POO! GOO--oof! " Piccolo grabbed Goku by
the mouth, glared, then pushed him back onto the floor, " I'm oh-kay... "
" LAA! LAA! LA-LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-O! " Mr. Popo did his final bow,
" You may now remove your ear-plugs. "
They did so.
" Well Popo, " Piccolo said, getting up, " That chant was, uh, most 'riveting'. Yeah. " he rolled his eyes.
" Piccolo does not even know what "riveting" means, does Piccolo? " Mr. Popo narrowed his eyes at the namek.
" ....no, can't say I do. "
" Mr. Popo's suspicions are confirmed. " he nodded, " ...back inside everybody! "
" Hey, what happened to the castle? " Goku asked, disappointed.
" What do you mean--ACK! " Piccolo shrieked. Half of the castle had been already taken apart and the confused
citizens of Capsule City were returning to their homes, " My--my castle! "
" Oh Piccy, I'm so sorry! " Goku gasped.
" Tis better to have ruled a planet and lost, than to have never ruled at all. " Vegeta said wisely. They all stared
at him.
" ... "
" ... "
" What? I never even GOT to legally RULE!!! "
" AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! " the group froze to see Dende running into the room, on fire.
" HE DID IT! I SAW HIM! ONE OF THOSE TRICKS!! " Hercule shouted, leading a gang of people from the city behind him.
" AAUGH!! " Dende screamed, running in a circle around Piccolo-tachi, " MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!!! "
Piccolo turned towards Hercule's gang, then shot his laser eyes at them, frying them to a crisp.
" AHH! EVIL MAGIC! RUN AWAY!! " one woman screamed as they all dashed through the front door.
" Stop drop roll, stop drop roll, " Dende repeated as he put out the fire on his outfit, " *WHEW*! " he sighed with
relief, getting up, then glared at Piccolo and pointed at him, " YOU!! "
" Me? " Piccolo said casually.
" YOU ALMOST GOT ME KILLED! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA OF LEAVING THE CASTLE AND LEAVING _ME_ TO GET SLAUGHTERED BY YOUR
MASSES!!! THEY THOUGHT _I_ HYPNOTIZED THEM!!! I BET YOU _KNEW_ THEY WERE GOING TO REGAIN CONSIOUSNESS AND THEN-- "
" Mr. Popo is the one to gain credit for saving the planet. " Popo interupted him.
Dende snarled maniacally, then paused, " Hey Popo, come'ere. " he said calmly. Mr. Popo backed up, " No, it's alright
, I'm not gonna hurt you, just come'ere. Lemmie shake your hand, eh? That's all I want to do, really. "
" Dende's wobbling bottom eyelid is NOT a sign of stable sanity!! " Mr. Popo gulped.
" RARR!! " Dende tackled him. Mr. Popo shrieked and ran off screaming. Dende chasing after him, " COME BACK HERE YOU
BIG GREASY TUB OF LARD!! I STILL HAVE TO THANK YOU FOR NOT WARNING ME!!!!! "
" AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! CALL 911! CALL THE EMERGANCY WARD!!! CALL MR. POPO'S MOTHER!!! " Popo wailed, rushing out of the
house, followed by Dende.
Piccolo sighed with defeat, " Well, this didn't work out as planned, did it? "
Chi-Chi walked into the room, the pies still smashed onto her face, " Hello Goku. "
Goku spun around, " HI CHI-CHAN! " he said sweetly, " By the way, you have something on your face, lemmie get it for
you. " he reached to grab one of the pie tins, then cried as Chi-Chi slammed Goku and Vegeta's faces together, knocking them
senseless.
" THAT'S FOR PIE-ING ME IN THE FACE! " she pointed at Vegeta, " AND THAT'S FOR _LETTING_ HIM PIE ME IN THE FACE! "
she pointed at Goku.
" Owwie! That hurt! " Goku sniffled, " Veggie's head is hard. "
" You don't exactly have a pillowy-soft noggin yourself, bakarrot. " Vegeta grumbled.
" Come Go-chan, we're going home! " Chi-Chi grabbed Goku by the arm and dragged him out of the room, " YOU TOO
KIDS! " she screamed at Gohan and Goten, both of which were mysteriously covered in splattered paint. The two looked down at
themselves, shrugged, and followed their mother out the door.
" Ohhhhh, my head hurts REALLY REALLY bad. " Bura wobbled into the room, then promptly threw up.
Vegeta picked her up under his arm, " It's alright B-chan, follow me I'll get you to a bathroom. " he sighed, also
taking leave. Piccolo looked around his empty, half-destoryed castle in ruin. He folded his arms stubbornly, then stuck one
arm up in the air.
" I'LL BE BACK!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME EARTH!! BAAAAACCK!!! "
*****************************************************************************************************************************
9:50 PM 7/3/2002
THE END
Chuquita: And so it ends. Twice the size of the last one too. (smiles pleasantly)
Piccolo: (still sitting in the audiance) (smirks) I got to be the leader for a while AND I didn't get zapped or set on fire
at the end like Dende and Popo did. Nice.
Vegeta: (pouts) (to Chu) How come you're never that nice to me!
Chuquita: Because I love you Vedge-head.
Vegeta: Eh???
Chuquita: (to Pic) Surprisingly, a lot of people who like Veggie feel the need to tease him in fanfics.
Vegeta: WHY!
Chuquita: (grins) Because it's so EASY!
Vegeta: (mockingly) Because it's so easy, neh! (sticks out his tongue)
Goku: (sweetly) Well I would never hurt Veggie! (hugs him)
Vegeta: (glowing) Of...of course you wouldn't...Kakay...heh-heh..hehhhhhh...
Dende: (sighs) There he goes again.
Chuquita: It is at this time that I would like to present my second lil list of future fic ideas. Also known as upcoming
stories! (clears her throat) A-hem.
1) Goku and Chi-Chi find out by TV that the man who performed their wedding ceremony is a fraud and has been just sent to
jail, making their marriage illegal. Now the couple have to find a way to get re-married before the others find out, namely
Vegeta. What happens when Chi-Chi can no longer defend her claim to Son-kun llegally? Will Veggie convince Son to not get
married at all? And what about Gohan and Goten? Are they now illegit??? A G/CC fic.
Goku: (grins) Of course with a little Veggie-humor for flavoring.
Chuquita: Yes, I like to use him to spice things up. Veggie's good at that.
2) A Buddy-ship fic. After Bulma suggests the prince take a vacation, Veggie decides to do just that--and purchases a huge
oceanliner. While saying his two-week temporary goodbyes, a devastated Son Goku sneaks onto the ship, fearing for what could
possibly happen to his little buddy if left alone without protection. When Chi-Chi finds out she decides to take action and
with the help of Gohan and Piccolo, track down the oceanliner to "save" Son. How will they find one person on this 'little
chunk of Bejito-sei? Does he WANT to be found? Does Veggie even know Goku is there? Find out!
Chuquita: I did a comic strip similar to this one too ya know.
Piccolo: Really?
Chuquita: (nods) Yeah, Gohan wasn't in it though....oh well, onto number 3!
3) Videl can't decide which part of being a superhero's sidekick is worse; the side or the kick. After Gohan suckers her into
becoming 'Saiyaman's sidekick, Saiyagirl, Videl begins to see the ugly side of being a superhero. But what happens when
Veggie decides to create a supervillain squad composed of himself and Goku? Will Saiyaman and Saiyagirl save Gohan's
"kidnapped" mother and younger brother? Will Videl ever get that funky smell out of her helmet? Again; find out!
Chuquita: You know Videl and Gohan DID form a superhero team in Movie 13. I've got a picture of them in their costumes but
I've never seen the movie.
Piccolo: (sighs) I think he called her "Saiyaman 2", not Saiyagirl.
Goku: (confused) But that doesn't make any sense. She's not even a man!
Piccolo: Poor Gohan. He was such a cute little kid too...
Dende: I blame TV.
Chuquita: (looking at her notecards) I swear these ideas get weirder as they go along. Here's number 4!
4) Underwear. We all wear it; well--most of us. Bulma decides to invite a famous fashion designer to Capsule Corp. But what
happens when the fashion designer decides Veggie would be perfect for modeling her new line of underwear? Will Veggie go
through with it? Will he make it down the catwalk without blasting the audiance into oblivion? How will Chi-Chi and Goku
react to this one? Will Veggie be able to use his new "underwear model" title to his advantage? And what happens when the
papers suddenly start blasting rumors about his personal life? Find out!
Vegeta: (to Chu) (glares) Now that's just WRONG!
Chuquita: It's based on an idea I got from an old "Rocko's Modern Life" episode. Remember "Wedgie-boy"?
Everyone sans Chu: ...
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) Well, this is Vedgie-boy.
...
Chuquita: (snorts) Eh, you would've had to have seen the episode to get it. (to audiance) Anyway, last but not least is the
maybe--maybe not number 5. Now you may ask, why are you calling it a maybe--maybe not fic, Chu?
Goku: Why are you calling it a maybe--maybe not fic, Chu?
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) Uh, thanks Son.
Goku: (grins) Anytime!
Chuquita: Well the thing about idea number 5 is one that's been running in my head for a while. Some people have even
suggested I let it happen. To anyone who's ever read a lot of my fics, have you ever wondered what would happen if
Veggie won? You know, Son-San I mean. Well I have two case sceneros in my head of a 100 years from now and 200 years from
now. (I see saiyajins as still looking in their prime at least 150 years after DBZ ends; and I don't count GT) Well, here's
the summary.
5) Chi-Chi and Veggie make a bet on Goku's loyalty. The ouji says that by the time another century has past and Chi-Chi has
already gotten old and been buried he would have Son-San wrapped around his little finger, seeing as they saiyajins with
their longer life-spans and slow aging process will probably live way after the rest of the Z senshi pass on. Chi-Chi mocks
him and tells Veggie that her Go-chan loves her too much to give in to his ouji-obsessiveness. Goku is unsure if either of
them is right and a slightly worried Chi-Chi decides to take Mirai's time machine for a spin and find out. What awaits her
in the future is a fate worse than anything she possibly could have imagined for Goku. What is this fate? Will she be able
to change the future or her present to stop these events from occuring? Heck, if Mirai Trunks can do it so can Chi-Chi...
...right?
Vegeta: (grinning) I win?
Chuquita: Veggie shush! [whaps him on the head with her notecards] You see, the problem with this is A: Veggie NEVER wins a
battle against Chi-Chi over Goku's custody. It would be defying all known laws in my personal fanfic-kingdom-land. And B: I
want to avoid anything shounen ai-ish from turning up. Even if it is only a possible future for the ouji.
Vegeta: (grinning even wider) Possiblities are always endless, you know...
Chuquita: [whaps him with her notecards again]
Vegeta: OWW!!
Chuquita: (to audiance) What I'm going to do is write the first four, then probably have the audiance decide on number 5's
fate. I can think of a couple people who'd love to see it and some who would be shaking their heads going "don't do it Chu;
Veggie can't win and you shouldn't let him". (to Pic) I hope this all turns out oh-kay. Did you know as of current I am
behind 3 stories of having stuff up on ff.net because of the SECOND hardware crisis?
Piccolo: Man, that suc--
Chuquita: --yes it does. I hope my audiance is still there by the the time they get it back up in TWO WEEKS.
Vegeta: Was that a twinge of annoyance?
Chuquita: You bet. YOU STILL THERE AUDIANCE?!
Audiance: YEAH!
Chuquita: Good. I feel better. (sits back in her chair) Nor sleet nor hail nor temporary shut-down will keep the loyal fanfic
writer from her duty--or task at hand--whatever.
Piccolo: (gets up) Well I guess I better get going. (looks at watch) Come on Dende, let's go back to the lookout and shoot
off some fireworks.
Dende: (narrows his eyes) Kami's aren't allowed to possess fireworks.
Piccolo: Mr. Popo is.
Dende: ... [hops off the desk] Well...alright. (smiles) Say did he buy those little spinny sparklers?
Piccolo: The ones that twirl and shoot off lights while playing Yankee Doodle?...yeah.
Dende: WOO! In that case let's go! [both leave]
Chuquita: I guess that wraps up Piccy fic #2. I'm Chuquita, have a Happy Independence Day everyone, wherever you are!
Goku: The land of the free and the home of the twinkies!
Chuquita: Well said Son-San, well said.
E-mail: lac31685@aol.com
By: Chuquita
Quote of the Week: -from "The Powerpuff Girls"
Bubbles: I think Mojo's lost it.
Buttercup: I don't think he ever had it.
Chuey's Corner:
Chuquita: Hello everybody and welcome to another story written by yours truely. Today's story is a special one. And you know
why?
Goku: (grins) (raises his arm) I KNOW! I KNOW! IT'S THE SECOND "PICCY FICCY"!
Chuquita: Correct Son-San! (to audiance) Normally my stories center on Son-San here and Veggie, but this one is about that
wacky little gang that lives on Kami's lookout. Or is it Dende's lookout?
Piccolo: It's MY lookout.
Goku: (happily) PICCY'S HERE!
Piccolo: [freezes] (gulps) Uh, yeah.
Goku: Piccy why are you sitting in Veggie's chair? Where is Veggie?
Piccolo: How should I know. All I know is I got here first so I get the chair.
Dende: [to short to be seen above the desk] What about me! _I_ came here with you! Where's MY chair!
Piccolo: Umm, here. [picks him up by the back collar and sets him down on the table] There. Better?
Dende: This is NOT a chair. This is a desk.
Piccolo: (acting unaware) Is it?
Dende: (frustrated) Yes, yes it is.
Piccolo: ...oh.
Goku: But this is no regular, ordinary desk. It's a (big sparkily eyes) MAAAAGGICCALLL desk. (content smile)
[Dende chuckles; Pic groans]
Piccolo: Ugh, I think I'm starting to get another flashback to my turn as the "little buddy"....
Goku: (cheerfully) Yeah, that was fun wasn't it? You-n-me---FISHIN for FISH....(happy reminicent sniffle) You know what it
makes me wanna do...[turns towards Pic] and that's HUG SOMEBODY!!! [sweatdrops to find Piccolo's chair now empty] (confused)
Uhhhhh....
Piccolo: [sitting in the audiance] It's oh-kay Son! I can see better from here anyway! (waves)
Goku: (to Chu) He just brushed me off didn't he?
Chuquita: Yup.
Goku: (sigh) That's what I thought. Piccy never liked the hugging part of being my "little buddy" anyway. Veggie on the other
hand gets worried if I DON'T hug him.
Vegeta: (boasting) Yes, I AM more involved with that role, aren't I?
Goku: [glances to Veggie's chair to see he has suddenly appeared in it] (scratches his head, confused) (grins) LITTLE VEGGIE!
[hugs him]
Vegeta: [blows a raspberry in Pic's direction]
Piccolo: (sweatdrops) Like it's something to be proud of...
Vegeta: (grins) It IS!
Goku: (hugs Veggie tighter)
Vegeta: (glows bright red) HEEEeee....
Piccolo: (flatly) It must be a saiyajin thing.
Chuquita: (to Pic) Tell me about it. (to audiance) On with the show!
Summary: Piccolo re-re-attempts to take over the world. Using Dende's stupifying powder he has sent the entire planet into
a state of braindead obediance. But what happens when Piccolo's new subjects become too idiotic to perform even simple tasks?
How will the Namekian deal with this turn of events? Find out.
*****************************************************************************************************************************
::Be the butter, see the butter, be the butter, see the butter:: Piccolo sat crosslegged on the floor, meditating on
the fattening milk by-product. His nose twitched. He opened his eyes to see a small butterfly sitting on his green nose.
Piccolo growled, " GET AWAY FROM ME! " he swatted the butterfly away. The winged bug floated infront of his head, " Acursed
thing. How do they even FIND me all the way up here. They're useless. All they do is flutter around during springtime
stupifying everyone around the planet with their mindless flightpaths and sprinkling their pollen in your eyes... " he paused
as an idea struck him. Piccolo lept to his feet, " Stay right there! " he pointed to the butterfly, then zipped off and
returned carrying a large empty glass jar & trapped the bug in it, " You, my little friend, have just given me a GRAND idea."
" Why hello Dende? " Piccolo trotted into Dende's castle, suspicously cheerful.
" Whadda you want now? " Dende retorted.
" Oh, nothing, nothing at all. " Piccolo stood next to Dende's throne & whistled to himself for several seconds
before speaking up again, " Say, you wouldn't happen to know where Kami's 'stupifying powder' is, would you? "
" In the kitchen, cabinet on the left. " Dende replied.
" Thanks. " Piccolo smirked, then left the room with the jar under his arm.
" ... " Dende sat back & closed his eyes, then bolted to attention, " HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!! " he lept off his throne,
" PICCOLO!!!! " the small namekjin dashed into the kitchen to find Piccolo unscrewing the jar of powder, " WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING!!! "
" Umm, new training technique, very modern-edge. " Piccolo babbled, pouring some of the powder into the other jar
containing the butterfly.
" What are you up to? " Dende said bluntly.
Piccolo mock-gasped, " Dende! How could you think I was UP to something. You should NEVER question your elders like
that! "
" HA! " Dende laughed.
" Mr. Popo has brought tea for Piccolo and Dende. Won't they have some of Mr. Popo's t--EEP! " Popo gasped to see the
open jar of stupifying potion.
" Ahh, Popo, sit down. " Piccolo pulled out a chair, " You too Dende. "
" I'd rather stand, thanks. " Dende gritted through his teeth.
" You're not still mad about last time, are you? " Piccolo cocked an eyebrow.
" A-HA! SO YOU _ARE_ PLOTTING AREN'T YOU! " Dende accused him.
" Maybe. " Piccolo grinned.
" Oh no, Mr. Popo has bad feeling about this. " Popo said, worried.
" Oh calm down Popo. " Piccolo rolled his eyes, then plunked the butterfly jar on the table, " Observe, gentlemen, a
simple butterfly. These creatures live all over the world, flying as they please, so unsuspectingly. "
" "unsuspectingly. " Dende quoted him, skeptical.
" Is it just Mr. Popo or is Mr. Popo to believe this is conversation is leading in an all-to-familiar direction. "
Popo turned to Dende, who just nodded.
" I believe it is. " Dende sweatdropped.
" Now, as you know butterflies have the ability to hover all across the globe. That is a known fact. It is also known
that the people of Earth enjoy watching these creatures flutter through the air. " he held up the jar with the butterfly in
it, " I propose we sprinkle Kami's stupifying powder overtop all the butterflies in the lookout and then send them forth down
to Earth to dum-down the inhabitants! Seeking an intellegent being to lead them they will obviously choose me! And thus my
rule over the planet shall FINALLY begin! " Piccolo laughed maniacally for a couple seconds, then stopped, " So, what do you
think? " he said cooly.
" I think you're CRAZY!!! " Dende shouted, " IT'S MY JOB AS THE CURRENT KAMI TO WATCH OVER EARTH! NOT STRIKE DOWN A
WAVE OF DUM-NESS UPON IT!!! "
" Oh....oh-kay, if that's how you feel. " Piccolo shrugged, " POPO! GET THE POWDER AND MEET ME OUTSIDE! " he shouted
heroically, then left with the captured butterfly.
Mr. Popo looked down at the jar of stupifying powder, " Mr. Popo is much in a predicament. " he bit his lip,
" Piccolo's speech was so full of knowledge and leadership, but Mr. Popo knows watering down the brains of the people of
Earth so Piccolo can become it's ruler is wrong. "
" It's oh-kay, Mr. Popo. " Dende patted him on the back, " You just go back to watering the garden. "
" OR you can help me and I'll give you the entire rainforest as your cut of the profits. " Piccolo poked his head in
the doorway.
" The entire rainforest in Mr. Popo's care? " Popo's eyes widened.
" NO POPO NO! DON'T LISTEN! THINK OF ALL THE PEOPLE WHO'S LIVES DEPEND UPON-- " Dende paused as Popo picked up the
jar full of potion, " POPO! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! POPO!! " Mr. Popo backed up, then ran out of the castle. Dende
hung his head, " Ohhhh, Popo! " he sighed, then stood up, determined, " I guess it's up to me to save the planet then, HMM! "
he nodded, " A-WAY! " Dende ran towards the open door, only to have Piccolo slam it in his face. Dende slid down the door in
pain, " ...oww. "
" Now...WHY is Mr. Popo wearing a gas mask again? " Popo asked Piccolo, who was also wearing one. Piccolo held a
smaller mask in his free hand for Dende.
" Well, how am I supposed to be the Earth's GENIUS ruler if I become a moron too! " Piccolo explained.
" UnnGH! " Dende burst the door to the castle open and only took one step before Piccolo stuffed the smaller gas mask
over the young namek's face, " Mmpha!? PICCOLO WHAT---where did all these BUTTERFLIES come from!!! " Dende gawked at the huge
amount of the insects floating above them.
" The butterflies seem to be oddly attracted to Piccolo during his meditating sessions. " Mr. Popo answered.
" You mean THIS is the how many of these things that come to the lookout daily when Piccolo doesn't zap them on
entry? " Dende blinked, amazed.
" Yup. " Piccolo said calmly, then hooked up a spray can to the jar of powder.
" Umm, Piccolo, won't spraying the butterflies make them lose their wits too? " Dende asked.
" Hmm? Nah. For some reason this stuff only effects higher life forms. " Piccolo shrugged, " So things like squirels
and chipmunks and rabbits won't be effected. "
" Great, I'm sure the fuzzy forest animals will save us the next time we're attacked by some super-villain. " Dende
said sarcastically.
Piccolo cocked an eyebrow at him, " You're, joking, right? "
" OF COURSE I'M JOKING!! " Dende screamed, then folded his arms.
" Mr. Popo suggests Dende calm down due to Dende's raised blood pressure is making him high-strung. " Popo nodded.
" FINE PICCOLO! DESTROY THE MINDS OF EVERY PERSON ON EARTH! SEE IF I CARE! " Dende exclaimed, stoming back inside.
" Good, I'm glad you agree with me on that then. "
" ARG! " Dende fell down, animé style, then got up and walked through the door, " Why do I even bother! "
" NOW FLY MY MINIONS! FLY AND SPREAD YOUR POLLEN OF STUPIDITY ACROSS THE GLOBE!! " Piccolo laughed manically, " GO
FORTH!! " the butterflies instantly took heed and flew off. Piccolo stood there, proud of himself, " You know Popo, I am in
rare form today. One of my evil schemes might actually WORK this time! "
" Mr. Popo is astonished at Piccolo's ability to command his forces of winged insects. " Popo smiled.
" And you should be. Now if you'll excuse me--I'm going to suit up! " he flung his gas mask to the ground and marched
inside.
Popo looked down over the edge of Kami's lookout, slightly worried, " Mr. Popo worries if Mr. Popo did the right
thing in aiding Piccolo with his butterflies...oh well, how many people would really leave their homes just because of a
giant brigade of butterflies anyway? "
" Hey everybody! Lookit all the butterflies! " a random person on the streets of Capsule City said. The entire
town-full of people instantly ran outside and gazed upward.
" Oh Lucky, even though your wicked grandmother-in-law hypnotized you into killing me I know our love for each other
will somehow break the spell so we can kill her and her evil son, your mother's ex-husband. " the girl on the TV said.
" I know *twitch*, we can do it, *twitch*, together, Eliza--*twitch*--beth. " the boy next to her on the screen
replied.
" How true, how true. " Vegeta sniffled as he sat infront of the televison set.
" Lucky, I have a plan. A plan that will allow us to defeat them both and save you at the same time. " the girl
smiled knowningly. Vegeta leaned closer to the TV screen, curiously, " The first thing we must do is---*FIZZZ*-- " Vegeta's
jaw dropped to the floor as the screen switched to TV snow, " --we interupt this program to bring you this important news
bulletin! " the TV now showed a newscaster sitting behind a desk. Vegeta snarled and sat back in his seat.
" Yeah well this BETTER be important! " he silently glared at the newscaster.
" This just in--the entire planet has suddenly become wildly overpopulated with BUTTERFLIES! "
The ouji fell to the ground animé style, " ERR, YOU INTERUPTED "GENERAL HOSPITAL" FOR THIS!! "
" Yes, yes we did! " the newscaster replied. Vegeta sweatdropped, " And now back to your local programing! "
Vegeta shut the TV off, " Yeah, well maybe I don't even WANT to watch it NOW. " he stuck his tongue out at the TV
and spread out on the couch.
" TOUSSAN TOUSSAN! " Bura shouted eagerly, dashing in from outside, " You have to see this! There are MILLIONS of
BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLIES hovering over the city-- "
" --I know. " he replied, cutting her off. Bura snorted at him.
" Toussan come see them! They're gorgeous! "
" NO! I don't want to see any stupid butt-flies! " he said stubbornly, crossing his arms.
" Not BUTT-FLIES! BUT-TER-FLIES! " Bura grabbed his arm, " Come on! You'll enjoy yourself! "
" Hmmph! " the ouji pulled his arm away.
Bura rubbed her chin in thought, " Hmmm...OH! " she got an idea, then grinned slyly at the ouji, " I bet we could
catch some and then bring them home to Mr. Goten's Daddy. I'm sure he would just LOVE getting such a special LITTLE gift from
his special LITTLE buddy? "
Vegeta's eyes shot wide open. A smile crossed his face, " ... " he sat up, " Bura? "
" ...yes? "
" Go fetch me a net!! And hurry! "
" YAY!!! " Bura squealed, then zipped off.
" OOoooOOooooooOOOOOoOOOooh, preeeeety. " Goku said in awe as he stood outside his home, watching the butterflies
float around him, " Aren't they preeeeety, Chi-chan? "
" *SMACK*! " Goku cringed as he heard the sound of a fly-swatter smash against the wall.
" Goku! Where did all these things come from! " Chi-Chi said, aggrivated as she stomped outside, " They're
EVERYWHERE! They're even in the house! "
" Well, yeah, that's because you left all the windows open. " Goku said uneasily.
" ... "
" ... "
" Oh. Right. Remind me to close those. " Chi-Chi said, slightly embarassed.
" I bet it's butterfly mating season, or something. " Goku cocked his head sideways as the butterflies, then noticed
the purplish-blue powder flying off their wings, " Hmm, that's strange. " he grabbed one and ate it, " Tastes normal. " he
swallowed the bug.
" GOKU!! " Chi-Chi gasped.
" What? "
" ....ugh, nevermind. " she groaned, " I bet this is all part of some type of ouji-plot! " Chi-Chi put her hands on
her hips.
" Nah, Veggie's plots are never THIS pretty. " Goku said in reply, then noticed to figures across the way and flew
over to them, " Hi Gohan hi Goten! I see you're gazing at the pretty bugs too, huh? " he grinned, then paused when he gained
no response. The saiyajin flew infront of them, only to gasp when he saw they were both staring upward with a clueless look
on their faces, " Gohan? Goten? " he said nervously.
" Uhhhhhhhhh.... " Gohan said in a monotone voice.
" ...uhhhhhhhhhh.... " Goten soon followed him, both still staring.
" ... " Goku blinked, then screamed, " CHI-CHAAAAAN!!! " he flew back over to her, " CHI-CHAN SOMETHING REALLY SCARY
IS GOING ON AND-- " the large saiyajin froze to see Chi-Chi now had the same dum expression no her face, " Chi-chan?
CHI-CHAN!!!......NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!! "
" Ahhh, *fake-gasp*, who's that handsome namek in the mirror? Why, that's Piccolo-sama, RULER OF EARTH! MUHAHAHAHA! "
Piccolo stood infront of a full-length mirror wearing a crown on his head that read King Piccolo Daimou on it.
" Piccolo, for the last time, PLEASE don't go through with this! " the namek whipped around to see Dende and Mr. Popo
" Whadda you want now? You're own country? Well it's not happening. " Piccolo folded his arms, " But if you consede
to my demands I might through in a villege or two up in Canada for you. "
" ERRR, I DON'T WANT TO RULE OVER ANY PART OF YOUR BRAINLESS PLANET!!! " Dende yelled angrily.
" Oh, so it IS my planet after all. " Piccolo boasted. Dende slapped himself on the forehead.
" Piccolo, if the rest of the namekjins back on New Namek-sei knew about this you would be in SUCH deep shi-- "
" --it's not nice to curse at your elders, Dende. " Piccolo smirked, interupting him.
" ...TROUBLE. You would be in such deep TROUBLE. " Dende gritted his teeth, correcting himself, " Not to mention what
would happen to ME, the Kami of the planet for allowing you to do this! "
Piccolo snickered, " Come on Dende, what are they gonna do to you? Chinese water-torture? "
" ... "
" Really? " he said, intreged.
Dende sighed, " Piccolo, Mr. Popo and I agree that what you are doing is wrong. "
" POPO!? YOU SWITCHIN SIDES ON ME POPO!! " Piccolo looked at Mr. Popo with shock and disgust.
" Mr. Popo is sorry Piccolo, but the guilt is so heavy for Mr. Popo to bear and-- "
" --AND you just lost your rainforest, Popo! "
" NO!! NO! MR. POPO NEEDS HIS RAINFOREST! "
" Well you won't need it now that you don't HAVE one. " Piccolo chuckled. Mr. Popo burst into tears and left the
room.
" OHH! Mr. Popo feels so violated! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! OH great heavens have mercy upon Mr. Popo! " he sobbed as he made
his exit.
" Piccolo, " Dende laughed nervously, begging with him, " You don't want to do this, REALLY. "
" Don't I? "
" Of course you don't! Uhh, think of Gohan! "
" Gohan? " Piccolo blinked.
" Yes, think of chibi Gohan, you know, little 5 year old Gohan who you took under your wing after you....killed his
father and his evil uncle and....trained him in the wilderness for a whole year....while his mother stayed at home worried
sick about him.... " Dende tried to explain, the room now dark with the exception of two bright spotlights on Dende and
Piccolo. Mr. Popo had been in the backround playing a large violin to Dende's speech.
" Luh--little Gohan? " Piccolo's bottom lip wobbled sadly.
" Yes! " Dende smiled weakly, " And now you're going to turn him along with the rest of his family and the entire
planet into mindless zombies? "
" Hmm....yup! " Piccolo grinned.
" OHHH! " Mr. Popo along with his violin and Dende fell to the ground.
" Such is the price to pay for world domination... " Piccolo said dramatically, " --oh well! Let's go greet the
commoners Dende! " he thrust his arm in the air, then zipped off.
Dende hung his head, " This is going to be a very long day. "
" Mr. Popo agrees with Dende on that. "
" Haha haha haha! " Vegeta said as he leapt in the air and caught several more of the butterflies in his net, " Oh
B-chan you were right, Kakay IS going to love this! " he grinned, then snickered evilly, " It'll just melt his little
kako-heart to know how his "little buddy" caught some butterflies ESPECIALLY for him. " he hugged his net, " AND that _I_
share his "love of nature", unlike ONNA who just swats the darn things. "
" ... "
" B-chan? Bura? " Vegeta walked over to the little blue-hairred girl, who was staring up at the sky full of
butterflies. He waved his hand infront of her face, " B-chan? " Vegeta said, worried, " Buh, B-chan are you alright? " the
ouji looked around, then gawked to see everyone else in the entire city including the rest of his family were now staring
upward with the same stupified expression on their faces, " This is not good. " he said flatly as Goku suddenly teleported
behind him.
" LITTLE VEGGIE!!! "
" AHH! " Vegeta shrieked, then whipped around to see Goku holding a clueless Chi-Chi under one arm and Gohan under
the other one. Goten was laying on his back, also dazed. Goku dropped them to the ground, only to watch them wander over to
where the rest of the city's inhabitants stood as they joined them with staring upward, " Ka--Kakarrotto?! What are you DOING
here! And what's going ON! "
" OH LITTLE VEGGIE I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE SAFE! " Goku sobbed, glomping onto the ouji and hugging tightly, " I thought
everyone had gone zombie on me but not you! You'd never do that to me would you Veggie? "
The ouji's face glowed bright red, " No Kakay I wouldn't... " he trailed off. The heat from his glowing hand sent his
butterfly net ablaze, instantly frying the insects inside it. He held the net infront of the bigger saiyajin, " I, I guh--got
something for you, Kaka-chan. "
Goku looked down at the net full of fried butterflies and squealed, " Veggie made me snacks! " he grabbed one of the
fried insects and stuffed it in his mouth, " Mmm. Veggie makes yummy stuff! " he patted his stomach.
" Huh? " Vegeta blinked, the redness fading from his body. He looked down at the net and yelped to see what had
happened to it along with the butterflies. He looked back at Goku, " You, EAT these? "
" Sure, who doesn't? " Goku shrugged happily.
Vegeta shook his head, " Kakarrot you disgust me. "
" Aww, ya don't mean that! Do you lil Veggie? " Goku teased, then tugged at one of the ouji's cheeks, instantly
sending the glow flooding back to Vegeta's face.
" Kaka...rrotto....please...stop that. " Vegeta squeaked out.
" Awwwww, alright. " Goku pouted, letting go of the ouji's cheek. Vegeta rubbed his cheek in pain, then let out a
little giggle and shook it off.
" Hmm, Kakarrotto, did you notice that everyone in Capsule City has just turned into a mindless idiot? " Vegeta asked
him.
" Oh Veggie, it's not just this city, it's the WHOLE PLANET!! " Goku said, frightened. Vegeta's eyes grew wide.
" What? "
" Veggie I've been to a whole bunch of places before I dropped Chi-chan, Gohan and Goten over here at your house.
Whatever has happened it's happened to ALL our friends! Yamcha, Kuririn, Tenshinhan, Choutzu... "
" Hmm... "
" Do you know what this means! " Goku gulped, leaning towards him.
" Yes, I do...THIS MEANS THAT WE CAN FINALLY BLOW THIS PLANET AND TRAVEL THE STARS TOGETHER!!! " the ouji grinned,
starry-eyed.
" Uhh, actually I was thinking more along the lines of us trying to find out what happened, seeing as we haven't been
effected. " Goku said uneasily. Vegeta snapped out of it.
" Huh? What did I say? "
" ...nothin. " Goku looked away.
" Well then, let's go figure out what happened. " Vegeta crossed his arms, " The first thing to do is to examine the
source of this global mind-numbing. "
" Funi-mation? " Goku offered. Vegeta stared at him blankly.
" NO! The butterflies! Now grab one and follow me! "
Goku looked up at the fluttering insects, then suddenly his tongue shot out like a frog's, snatching one of the
butterflies and pulling it back in till his tongue was sticking just far enough out of his mouth to keep the butterfly in the
daylight.
Vegeta blinked in shock at the larger's saiyajin's newfound ability, " Kak--where did you learn--how---ugh, just come
here! "
" I ab ad or errvase iddle Veh-gee! " Goku said through his tongue, saluting the ouji and running inside after him.
" HEAVE! HO! HEAVE! HO! COME ON! CAN'T YOU GUYS MOVE ANY FASTER! " Piccolo complained as he sat atop a large throne.
Mr. Popo and Dende were pulling him down the street at the outskirts of Capsule City, " DENDE! KAMI COULD MOVE FASTER THAN
YOU! AND HE'S THREE TIMES YOUR AGE!!!--I should know, I'm melded with him. "
" I hate you. " Dende said flatly.
" WHAT WAS THAT!? " Piccolo called up from ontop of his throne.
" URG!! " Dende snarled, then continued forward, " Mr. Popo! Do something! " he shouted.
" Mr. Popo...so tired...so overheated... " Mr. Popo gasped for air, then paused and snapped his fingers, causing a
pitcher of iced tea to appear before him. He took the lid off and started chugging the drink out of the container, " Ahh!
Raspberry. " he wiped his mouth, " Would Dende care for a drink? "
" No thanks Mr. Popo, I don't drink iced tea. " Dende shook his hands in protest.
Mr. Popo shrugged, " Oh well, that is Dende's loss. " he said, then started to drink again.
" Hey Popo, Dende, stop a second will ya? " Piccolo said as he looked through a pair of binoculars. Relieved, Mr.
Popo and Dende dropped their hold on Piccolo's throne. Piccolo got out his megaphone, " PEOPLE OF CAPSULE CITY! "
Everyone in the city instantly turned towards Piccolo and the others.
" THIS IS I, THE GREAT PICCOLO-SAMA! RULER OF EARTH! BOW BEFORE ME OR FACE DIVINE PUNISHMENT! "
" Feh, like THAT'S gonna work. " Dende rolled his eyes, then sweatdropped to see the thousands of citizens now on
their knees, " Oh heaven help me. " he slapped himself on the forehead.
" HAIL PICCOLO-SAMA! " the people said in unison.
Piccolo grinned happily, " This is too good to be true. " he said to himself, then pulled out his megaphone, " NOW!
CITIZENS YOUR FIRST ORDER IS TO BUILD THE RULER OF EARTH A CASTLE!! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT? "
" HAI PICCOLO-SAMA! " they responded.
" Good, good. AND MAKE IT GREEN!...A BIG GREEN CASTLE!....WITH LOTS OF LIGHTS! "
Dende and Mr. Popo sweatdropped.
" HAI PICCOLO-SAMA! "
" Wow, I've never gotten THIS far....heh-heh-heh, man am I good. " Piccolo smirked, impressed with himself.
" Move it on that wall...no, on second thought, I liked it back where it was, no, wait, the far right wall. That's
perfect...nope, that doesn't look right either. " Piccolo said as he sat atop a modest-looking, yet very tall silver throne.
A long chain of stairs led up to it.
" Piccolo, what are you doing now? " Dende said, walking into the room.
" Hmm? Oh, I'm trying to figure out where to put the giant portait. What do you think, the left wall or the one
directly across the room from us? " he asked casually.
" I don't know, I kind of like the right side and--WHAT AM I SAYING!!! " Dende screamed, rubbing his hand on his bald
green head in aggrivation. He walked over to Yamcha and Tenshinhan, who were holding the humongous painting up. Dende whipped
the cover off it to expose a gigantic picture of Piccolo himself, standing proudly. Dende sweatdropped, " Gee, Piccolo, you
don't think you could have the people of Capsule City paint a BIGGER portait of yourself? You can still see part of the wall
behind it. " he said with sarcasm oozing from his voice.
" It does leave a little left to be desired. " Piccolo rubbed his chin. Yamcha and Tenshinhan wobbled back and forth,
the weight of the portait about to give way on their knees, " MINNIONS! A LARGER PORTAIT! ON THE DOUBLE! " Yamcha and
Tenshinhan finally collapsed under the weight, sending the portait dive-bombing to the floor. The two senshi poked their
heads out of the picture, dazed and confused.
" Ugh, Piccolo that's not what I meant. " Dende shook his head as another group of citizens came and took the
painting, along with the duo's head still wedged inside it, away.
" Umm, Piccolo? " Mr. Popo entered from the kitchen.
" What do you want NOW Popo! I already gave you that 3 story high green-house! Isn't that enough? " Piccolo cocked
an eyebrow at him.
" Mr. Popo is afraid that is not the problem. " Mr. Popo looked down at the floor.
" Problem? " Piccolo ran down the stairs and up to him, " Wha, what do you mean, "problem"? We have a problem? "
" Mr. Popo feels Piccolo would only fully understand Mr. Popo's predicament if Piccolo were to follow Mr. Popo into
the kitchen? " Popo looked up at Piccolo, who had a look of puzzled bewilderment on his face.
" The kitchen? " he said as he followed him through the doorway, " Is that all? If we're just out of food we'll go
hord into the next city, the minnions are the only ones who need the energy. Nameks don't eat. "
Mr. Popo opened the door to the kitchen to reveal the entire staff in a deep stupor. People were walking into walls,
backing up, and then walking into them again. Others were trying to remember how to use their cooking utencils, and the head
chef was staring blankly off into the distance, drool driping from her open mouth and falling onto the frying pan in her hand
which she held over the stove. The drool continued to sizzle in the pan containing an old sock and a very burnt fish.
Piccolo's eyes widened till they filled half his head. His jaw dropped to the ground.
" WHAT HAPPENED HERE!!!! " he screamed at the top of his lungs, then froze to see no one had responded him.
" Dung. " one of the random cooks said, then walked into the wall again.
Piccolo's teeth chattered, " POPO!!! " he grabbed the genie by his collar, " POPO WHAT'S GOING ON! WHY ARE THEY ALL
ACTING LIKE THIS!!! "
" This could be just an assumption on Mr. Popo's part, but-- " Mr. Popo trailed off.
" --BUT??? " Piccolo said, urging him to continue.
" But perhaps Kami's stupifying potion has no exact limit. If this is true then sections of Piccolo's hypnotized
"minnions" brains will continue to deteriorate or close their function until-- "
" --they all DIE!!! " Piccolo yelped in terror, " They're going to dummer and dummer until they DIE, is THAT what
you're trying to tell me, Popo?! "
" Mr. Popo does not know this for SURE, but... " Mr. Popo trails off.
" THIS IS HORRIBLE!! I CAN'T RULE OVER EARTH IF THERE ISN'T ANYONE LEFT TO RULE _OVER_!!! " Piccolo wailed.
" Mr. Popo must point out that Vegeta-san does not have a planet to rule over and yet he manages to rule his ONE
subject very well. " Mr. Popo said, trying to comfort the tall namekian.
" Yes, but he's got some kind of obsessive-compulsive disorder, or something. " Piccolo rattled off, then got up and
back to his panicking, " OH POPO! WHAT TWISTED FATE! I FINALLY CONQUER THE EARTH AND THROUGH MY OWN CARELESSNESS BY IGNORING
THAT DUM STUPIDITY POTION'S LABEL I HAVE DOOMED ALL HUMANITY AND IN TURN MY DREAM FOR THIS PLANET!!! "
" Indeed irony DOES seem to follow Piccolo around like a lost puppy. " Mr. Popo shook his head.
" THIS IS ALL _YOUR_ FAULT POPO! _YOU_ SHOULD HAVE WARNED ME AHEAD OF TIME!!! " Piccolo shouted, pointing at him.
" Ha! It is Piccolo's fault for trying to accomplish the evil deed of overthrowing the planet in the first place that
has led to his demise. " Mr. Popo said stubbornly.
" ERRR!! " Piccolo growled, then sniffed the air, " Something's burning. " he walked over to his head chef, " Hey,
Chi-Chi, you smell something bur--HOLY CHIHUAHUA!! " he gasped to see the whole stove was on fire. Piccolo quickly grabbed a
nearby fire extinguisher and quickly sprayed it on the fire. He grabbed the burning pan out of her grasp, threw it on the
floor and sprayed that in addition, " Kuso! Chi-Chi, weren't you even paying attention!!! " he shouted.
" ... "
" URG! LOOK AT YOUR PLANET'S RULER WHEN HE IS SPEAKING TO YOU! " Piccolo spun her towards him, then shrieked to see a
more dumbfounded look on her face then any Goku had ever managed to pull off. Piccolo gulped, " This is not good. Not good at
all. "
" Piccolo-sama! " a voice called from the ajoining room.
" Huh? Gohan? " Piccolo blinked, then put his hands on Chi-Chi's shoulders, " You stay right there, got it? "
" Uhhhhhhh.... "
" OH! " Piccolo said, nervous, " COMING GOHAN! " he ran towards the room to see Gohan standing there infront of the
thousands of workers who were busy creating another portrait of their new namekian leader.
" Hey Mister Piccolo, we're trying to finish your painting, but we have a little trouble. " he scratched his head.
Piccolo sighed with relief at Gohan, who still sounded his normal highly-intellegent self, " Yes Gohan, what is it? "
he asked, smiling weakly.
" Yeah, uhm, Piccolo, which two colors make green again? Yellow and purple or blue and orange? "
Piccolo's shoulders hung at his sides, " Come again? "
" Which two colors make-- "
" --Gohan move. " he pushed his former pupil out of the way, then let out another shriek. The room was covered in
paint, his new portait now looked like a kindergardener's chicken scratch, and his well-selected group of artists were busy
fingerpainting on one another. Piccolo screamed.
" WHAT HAS KAMI'S WRATH CREATED!!!! "
" There there, it will be alright Mister Piccolo. " Gohan patted him on the back. Piccolo looked down at him, " I am
sure it will all turn out just fi....uhhhhhhh... " Gohan's mind had suddenly hit the pause button and the young demi-saiyajin
was now uttering the same monotone sound as his mother.
" Gohan? GOHAN DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!! " Piccolo shouted, shaking him back and forth, " YOU'RE LIKE A SON TO ME GOHAN!
DON'T! YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THAT!! AREN'T YOU?! "
" Uhhhhhhh.... "
" ...Mr. Popo I need to lie down. " Piccolo said flatly, his eyes bugging out of his head.
" Agreed. " Mr. Popo nodded, then led Piccolo to a nearby bedroom.
" Ohhhhhhh....my head.... " Piccolo groaned, half asleep. He had covered his face with a pillow and was sitting on
his back, " I can't believe this has happened...it must be some mistake..some twisted cosmic joke! "
" WHEEEE!!! " the bed Piccolo was laying on suddenly bounced back, like a giant 2 ton brick had just dropped upon it.
Piccolo slowly pulled the pillow off his face to see Goku at the bottom of the bed, cheerfully bouncing up and down.
" Oh no! " Piccolo groaned and thrust his head back onto the matress.
" HI PICCY-CHAN! Why do you seem so glum? " Goku laughed, all smiles.
" Why? Because I've just doomed planet Earth--MY PLANET EARTH--to an eternity of dum-ness! " Piccolo exclaimed.
" Aww, *bounce*, that's too, *bounce*, bad Piccolo. " Goku frowned.
" Yeah, it is... " Piccolo trailed off, then stopped and glanced up, " WAITAMINUTE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!? And how
come you don't sound like you've lost your mind yet? " he blinked, confused.
" Well, me-n-Veggie did some research...heh-heh... " Goku trailed off, grinning even wider.
" AND??? "
" Huh?--OH! And we found out that this stuff only effects humans, or in Gohan and Goten and the others cases, people
with human blood and/or ansestry. " he explained.
" You're kidding. " Piccolo said in disbelief, " Then, then that means-- "
" I am free from the dum-disease! " Goku stopped bouncing, " And so is Veggie. " he pointed to the smiling figure in
the doorway. Piccolo sat up and put his legs over the side of the bed, " I can't believe this! This is a nightmare!!! "
" Go ahead, tell him what you wanted to tell him Veggie. " Goku said, turning towards the smaller saiyajin.
Vegeta smirked, " Umm, yes. "Great Piccolo-sama", ruler of Earth, Kakarrotto and I would like your permission to
take leave of the planet and go on a private tour of the universe togeth--OWW! " Goku teleported to him and shoved his elbow
in the ouji's side.
" That's not what you said you were gonna tell him! " Goku said, slightly annoyed.
" I can dream, can't I? " Vegeta snorted, then turned back in Piccolo's direction, " We have discovered exactly what
the substance in your butterfly powder causes the humans to turn into drooling idiots. " he held up a clear baggie full of
blue dust, " And after some interrogation from Kakarrot I managed to figure out WHO it was who had put this stuff on the
insects in the first place. "
" Did you? Really? " Piccolo laughed nervously.
" Yes, however, in order to fully examine this substance we must boil it into a liquid. Since Kakarrotto cannot work
a stove and feared his little buddy, *smile* would get hurt if HE operated the kitchen machinery we decided to seek the
help of a master chef--and evil witch bent on my destruction--ONNA. "
" I'm sorry, but I don't think that's going to wor-- "
" ... "
" ... "
Piccolo smirked, " Follow me, kitchen's that-a-way. "
" HOLY MACKERAL WHAT HAPPENED HERE?! " Vegeta gawked as they stood in the kitchen. 3/4ths of the cooks and attendents
were now lying on the floor, seemingly awake, " THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE DEAD?! "
" Hmm, it appears the lack of brain function has put them into a temporary coma-like state in which the use of their
limbs along with their natrual balance has been ceased in order to keep their inner organs functioning at their possible
maximum. " Goku explained, poking one of the cooks.
" ... " Vegeta and Piccolo stared at him, wide-eyed.
" Son? You alright? " Piccolo asked, a little worried.
" ....FISH! " the large saiyajin chirped, happy as ever. Piccolo wiped the sweat off his brow.
" Kakay scares me when he's smart. " Vegeta gulped.
" Where's my Chi-chan? " Goku frowned, searching the kitchen for her. Piccolo pointed to one of the few figures still
standing, " CHI-CHAN!! " he squealed with excitement as he zipped over to her, " Oh my wonderful Chi-chan I was so scared I'd
never see you again! " Goku sobbed, holding her hands. He waited for a response, then blinked to see the dazed look on her
face that covered most of the rest of the people on Earth, " Chi...Chi-chan? " he said nervously, then chuckled and wiped the
side of her mouth, " Heehee, you had a little drool driblet down your cheek! " the large saiyajin showed the slop that was
now on his finger to her, " Silly Chi-chan. "
" ... "
" ...PICCOLO!!! " Goku screamed at the top of his lungs. The tall namek instantly rushed over to him.
" What? What is it? What happened?! " he looked around in a panic.
" Chi-chan won't speak to me... " Goku felt his eyes water, a pouty expression on his face, " Why won't she speak to
me Piccy? "
" Because she was affected with the powder the same way the rest of the Earthlings were. " Piccolo stammered, trying
to ignore whatever sad expression the saiyajin had on his face.
Goku looked over at Chi-Chi, then cried, " SOMEBODY HUG ME!!! "
" ...hey shorty, get over here. " Piccolo signaled to Vegeta, who glared at him was he walked up to the group.
" Don't call me that. " the ouji said bluntly, then noticed the look of utter dispair on Goku's face, " AND WHAT DID
YOU DO TO KAKA-CHAN!! "
" _I_ didn't do _anything_ to "Kaka-chan". " Piccolo mocked him, " He took one look at Chi there and burst into
tears. "
" Yes, but if you hadn't released your "idiot powder" on the planet Kakay wouldn't be crying right now, would he?
WOULD HE?!! " Vegeta raised his voice. Piccolo stood there, unmoved.
" You know, you give a whole new meaning to the term "little buddy". " Piccolo just shook his head.
" There there Kakay, it'll be alright. " the shorter saiyajin reached up on his tippy-toes to pat Goku on the head.
He took one look at Chi-Chi in 'drooling idiot mode' and burst into laughter, " HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OH MY--ONNA! LOOK AT
HER FACE!! HAHAHAHAHA YOU LOOK DUMMER THAN KAKARROT HERE! In fact, I bet you ARE now! "
Goku remembered the reason they were there and glanced at the bag of blue powder, " The--there's gotta be a way to
snap her out of it, right Piccolo? I mean, Chi-Chi's one of the smartest people I know. In fact I know a lot of smart people,
but she's one of the smarter ones! "
" I don't know. I haven't tried to snap ANY of them out of it. " Piccolo shrugged. Goku scratched his head, then
grinned as an idea popped into it.
" HA! " he snapped his fingers, then grabbed Chi-Chi, dipped her and planted a big wet kiss on her lips, " Chi-chan?,
Oh Chi-chan? " the saiyajin said slyly, " Guess what? We just won 20 billion dollars and Gohan's been accepted to an Ivy
League college and I dumped Veggie and he got hit by oncoming traffic in a freak accident and died and there's nothing left
of him because he burst into flames and melted. "
" ... "
" WHAT?! " Vegeta shouted, offended, Piccolo bopped him on the head in an attempt to shush him. Vegeta grumbled and
rubbed his bopped head.
" So? What do you think? Pretty great, huh Chi-chan? " Goku put on his best smile.
" ... "
" Chi-Chi? "
" ... "
" PLEASE SAY SOMETHING!!! WHY DON'T YOU SAY SOMETHING!!! " he wailed, hugging her.
" Kakarrotto, I feel this is something that would gain your desired results if _I_ were to try and snap her out of
this daze. " Vegeta smirked evilly.
" *sniffle*, I dunno Veggie, " Goku rubbed his eyes, " You're not exactly Chi-chan's favorite person in the world. "
" Move. " Vegeta pulled the larger saiyajin away from his embrace with the dazed Chi-Chi. The ouji stood before her,
" Hello Onna. "
" ... "
" Hmm... " he grabbed a nearby pie and held it in his hands, " You know one of the things I've always wanted to do to
you, Onna? "
" ... "
" *SPLAT*! " the ouji smushed the cherry pie onto Chi-Chi's face. Goku and Piccolo gawked in amazement as he took
two more pies and smacked them against the sides of her head, then sprayed a large blob of whipped cream ontop of her head &
placed a cherry ontop, " HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! "
" VEGGIE!! " Goku gasped, " YOU LEAVE CHI-CHAN ALONE!!! "
" How's that feel Onna? " the ouji cackled, ignoring Goku's plea, he ran into the other room and returned with a
bucket of green paint, " Feel free to stop me anytime! " Vegeta grinned, then poured the paint down her shirt. Goku clasped
his hand over his mouth in horror, " Whatsa matter? Not even a flinch? " Vegeta fake-pouted, then turned to Piccolo, " I have
to say, I do enjoy this new Earth of yours, Namek! It's quite entertaining. "
Piccolo fought the urge to pummel Vegeta into the wall.
" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA---ha? "
Chi-Chi suddenly blinked, to Vegeta's surprise. She focused all her efforts into raising her arm, then grabbed one of
the pie-tins and thrust it at Vegeta's face, knocking him halfway across the room towards Piccolo and Goku. Piccolo sent his
elbow smashing down upon the top of the ouji's head, sending him crashing to the floor.
" YAY! CHI-CHAN DID SOMETHING! YAY YAY YAY! " Goku cheered happily.
" Ohhhhhhhh... " Vegeta groaned from on the floor, " On second thought, I liked the old Earth, CHANGE IT BACK RIGHT
NOW!! " he pointed at Piccolo.
" UGH! I DON'T KNOW HOW! " Piccolo gritted through his teeth.
" Mr. Popo knows how. "
Piccolo's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at the chubby genie in the doorway, " Say what? "
" Piccolo is ready to admit Piccolo's defeat, is Mr. Popo correct? " Popo asked him.
" OF COURSE I AM! LOOK AT THIS!! I MIGHT AS WELL BE RULING OVER A BUNCH OF MANNEQUINS!!! " Piccolo exclaimed, waving
his arms about, " AND DON'T ASK ME ABOUT THE TWO SAIYAJINS BECAUSE THEY DON'T COUNT!! "
" 1, 2, 3--HEY! " Goku said, slightly offended as he pointed to the fingers on one hand with the opposite one.
" You mean you knew a way to change everyone back all along and you never said anything? " Vegeta inquired.
" Well, Mr. Popo WAS going to say that Mr. Popo has a solution to Piccolo's dilemna if Piccolo wishes to hear it. "
Mr. Popo nodded.
" THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS SOONER!!! " Piccolo screamed in his face.
" All Piccolo had to do was ask. "
" ... " Piccolo blinked, then smacked himself on the forehead, " Ohhhhhh, my head... "
" So, Po-po-po-san, does this mean you have a way to save my Chi-chan and the rest of the planet? " Goku said quickly
with anticipation.
" Mr. Popo may very well hold the key to planet Earth's saving. " Mr. Popo smiled.
" YEEEEE!!! " the large saiyajin squealed, " May I hug you Popo-san? " he grinned.
" Well-- " Mr. Popo trailed off.
" GRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrr.... " an evil, over-protective scowl sounded from beside Popo. Mr. Popo glanced nervously to his
right to see a carnivorous rage on Vegeta's face. He gulped and turned back to the larger saiyajin.
" Mr. Popo would feel it is not necessary for Mr. Son to show his appreciations through physical affection and would
like to add that it would be more appropirate for Mr. Son to perhaps send Mr. Popo a thank you card or a small potted plant
in exchange for his help. " Popo shook, nervous.
" Awww..oh-kay. " the saiyajin pouted.
" So, Popo, how do we reverse the potion. I mean, is there some kind of mystical counteracting spell of some sort? "
Piccolo said, confused.
" Actually, no. " Popo said. Piccolo sweatdropped, " There is a chant that when played over the huge megaphone on the
roof of Piccolo's castle will most probably return the brains of the citizens to normal. "
" A chant huh...well, alright. "
" Oh-kay, WHY are we wearing earplugs again? " Piccolo said as he, Goku, Vegeta, and Mr. Popo stood on the roof near
Piccolo's giant universal megaphone he had just installed several hours ago. They were all wearing freakishly large earplugs
in their ears.
" What? " Mr. Popo blinked.
" I SAID, "WHY ARE WE WEARING EARPLUGS AGAIN"!!! "
" MR. POPO IS SORRY! FOR HE CANNOT HEAR PICCOLO WITH THESE LARGE PLUGS IN HIS EARS! " Mr. Popo shouted back.
Piccolo sweatdropped, then yanked Popo's left earplug out and screamed in his hear, " I WANT TO KNOW WHY WE'RE ALL
WEARING THESE STUPID EARPLUGS!!! "
Popo wobbled back and forth, " Ohhhh, Mr. Popo's ears are ringing. Surely his eardrums have been shot. " he took his
plug and stuffed it back in, then, after a momentary glare directed at Piccolo, he continued to speak, " For those of you who
do not know any better, the mystical brain-chant, if performed to the ears of those who have not been infected with the
stupidifying powder, their brains will EXPLODE INSIDE THEIR HEADS!!! "
Vegeta yelped and lept into Goku's arms, then blinked, realizing where he was. The larger saiyajin grinned down at
him and Vegeta jumped back onto the ground and dusted himself off.
" Heeheehee! " Goku giggled at the ouji.
" And now ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Popo shall perform the brain-chant. " he picked up the megaphone and took a deep
breath, " Ah---LOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOO!!!! "
Piccolo and gang fell to the floor, animé style.
" THAT'S the "brain-chant"!? " Vegeta sweatdropped.
" I can sing better than that! " Goku whined.
" SHUDDUP! POPO IS HELPING US AND HE DESERVES SOME RESPECT--at least until he's finished his song anyway. " Piccolo
remarked, then yelped as Mr. Popo leapt ontop of the namek's head.
" LUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUULUU!!!! " Popo sang as he tap danced on
Piccolo's head, then jumped off it and began to "lalala" around the rooftop. Piccolo layed there on the ground, tapping his
fingers on the floor in silent aggrivation.
" Wow! Lookit Mr. Popo go! " Goku said happily, " Hey, Po, go. Popo gogo! Go PO! Go PO! Go PO! " he did his own
little jig.
" Sit down, Kakarrot. " Vegeta said bluntly.
" For once I agree with shorty, sit down already Son. " Piccolo dryly moaned.
" Aww, poo. " Goku pouted, doing so, then smiled, " Poo, goo. GOO POO! GOO POO! GOO--oof! " Piccolo grabbed Goku by
the mouth, glared, then pushed him back onto the floor, " I'm oh-kay... "
" LAA! LAA! LA-LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-O! " Mr. Popo did his final bow,
" You may now remove your ear-plugs. "
They did so.
" Well Popo, " Piccolo said, getting up, " That chant was, uh, most 'riveting'. Yeah. " he rolled his eyes.
" Piccolo does not even know what "riveting" means, does Piccolo? " Mr. Popo narrowed his eyes at the namek.
" ....no, can't say I do. "
" Mr. Popo's suspicions are confirmed. " he nodded, " ...back inside everybody! "
" Hey, what happened to the castle? " Goku asked, disappointed.
" What do you mean--ACK! " Piccolo shrieked. Half of the castle had been already taken apart and the confused
citizens of Capsule City were returning to their homes, " My--my castle! "
" Oh Piccy, I'm so sorry! " Goku gasped.
" Tis better to have ruled a planet and lost, than to have never ruled at all. " Vegeta said wisely. They all stared
at him.
" ... "
" ... "
" What? I never even GOT to legally RULE!!! "
" AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! " the group froze to see Dende running into the room, on fire.
" HE DID IT! I SAW HIM! ONE OF THOSE TRICKS!! " Hercule shouted, leading a gang of people from the city behind him.
" AAUGH!! " Dende screamed, running in a circle around Piccolo-tachi, " MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!!! "
Piccolo turned towards Hercule's gang, then shot his laser eyes at them, frying them to a crisp.
" AHH! EVIL MAGIC! RUN AWAY!! " one woman screamed as they all dashed through the front door.
" Stop drop roll, stop drop roll, " Dende repeated as he put out the fire on his outfit, " *WHEW*! " he sighed with
relief, getting up, then glared at Piccolo and pointed at him, " YOU!! "
" Me? " Piccolo said casually.
" YOU ALMOST GOT ME KILLED! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA OF LEAVING THE CASTLE AND LEAVING _ME_ TO GET SLAUGHTERED BY YOUR
MASSES!!! THEY THOUGHT _I_ HYPNOTIZED THEM!!! I BET YOU _KNEW_ THEY WERE GOING TO REGAIN CONSIOUSNESS AND THEN-- "
" Mr. Popo is the one to gain credit for saving the planet. " Popo interupted him.
Dende snarled maniacally, then paused, " Hey Popo, come'ere. " he said calmly. Mr. Popo backed up, " No, it's alright
, I'm not gonna hurt you, just come'ere. Lemmie shake your hand, eh? That's all I want to do, really. "
" Dende's wobbling bottom eyelid is NOT a sign of stable sanity!! " Mr. Popo gulped.
" RARR!! " Dende tackled him. Mr. Popo shrieked and ran off screaming. Dende chasing after him, " COME BACK HERE YOU
BIG GREASY TUB OF LARD!! I STILL HAVE TO THANK YOU FOR NOT WARNING ME!!!!! "
" AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! CALL 911! CALL THE EMERGANCY WARD!!! CALL MR. POPO'S MOTHER!!! " Popo wailed, rushing out of the
house, followed by Dende.
Piccolo sighed with defeat, " Well, this didn't work out as planned, did it? "
Chi-Chi walked into the room, the pies still smashed onto her face, " Hello Goku. "
Goku spun around, " HI CHI-CHAN! " he said sweetly, " By the way, you have something on your face, lemmie get it for
you. " he reached to grab one of the pie tins, then cried as Chi-Chi slammed Goku and Vegeta's faces together, knocking them
senseless.
" THAT'S FOR PIE-ING ME IN THE FACE! " she pointed at Vegeta, " AND THAT'S FOR _LETTING_ HIM PIE ME IN THE FACE! "
she pointed at Goku.
" Owwie! That hurt! " Goku sniffled, " Veggie's head is hard. "
" You don't exactly have a pillowy-soft noggin yourself, bakarrot. " Vegeta grumbled.
" Come Go-chan, we're going home! " Chi-Chi grabbed Goku by the arm and dragged him out of the room, " YOU TOO
KIDS! " she screamed at Gohan and Goten, both of which were mysteriously covered in splattered paint. The two looked down at
themselves, shrugged, and followed their mother out the door.
" Ohhhhh, my head hurts REALLY REALLY bad. " Bura wobbled into the room, then promptly threw up.
Vegeta picked her up under his arm, " It's alright B-chan, follow me I'll get you to a bathroom. " he sighed, also
taking leave. Piccolo looked around his empty, half-destoryed castle in ruin. He folded his arms stubbornly, then stuck one
arm up in the air.
" I'LL BE BACK!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME EARTH!! BAAAAACCK!!! "
*****************************************************************************************************************************
9:50 PM 7/3/2002
THE END
Chuquita: And so it ends. Twice the size of the last one too. (smiles pleasantly)
Piccolo: (still sitting in the audiance) (smirks) I got to be the leader for a while AND I didn't get zapped or set on fire
at the end like Dende and Popo did. Nice.
Vegeta: (pouts) (to Chu) How come you're never that nice to me!
Chuquita: Because I love you Vedge-head.
Vegeta: Eh???
Chuquita: (to Pic) Surprisingly, a lot of people who like Veggie feel the need to tease him in fanfics.
Vegeta: WHY!
Chuquita: (grins) Because it's so EASY!
Vegeta: (mockingly) Because it's so easy, neh! (sticks out his tongue)
Goku: (sweetly) Well I would never hurt Veggie! (hugs him)
Vegeta: (glowing) Of...of course you wouldn't...Kakay...heh-heh..hehhhhhh...
Dende: (sighs) There he goes again.
Chuquita: It is at this time that I would like to present my second lil list of future fic ideas. Also known as upcoming
stories! (clears her throat) A-hem.
1) Goku and Chi-Chi find out by TV that the man who performed their wedding ceremony is a fraud and has been just sent to
jail, making their marriage illegal. Now the couple have to find a way to get re-married before the others find out, namely
Vegeta. What happens when Chi-Chi can no longer defend her claim to Son-kun llegally? Will Veggie convince Son to not get
married at all? And what about Gohan and Goten? Are they now illegit??? A G/CC fic.
Goku: (grins) Of course with a little Veggie-humor for flavoring.
Chuquita: Yes, I like to use him to spice things up. Veggie's good at that.
2) A Buddy-ship fic. After Bulma suggests the prince take a vacation, Veggie decides to do just that--and purchases a huge
oceanliner. While saying his two-week temporary goodbyes, a devastated Son Goku sneaks onto the ship, fearing for what could
possibly happen to his little buddy if left alone without protection. When Chi-Chi finds out she decides to take action and
with the help of Gohan and Piccolo, track down the oceanliner to "save" Son. How will they find one person on this 'little
chunk of Bejito-sei? Does he WANT to be found? Does Veggie even know Goku is there? Find out!
Chuquita: I did a comic strip similar to this one too ya know.
Piccolo: Really?
Chuquita: (nods) Yeah, Gohan wasn't in it though....oh well, onto number 3!
3) Videl can't decide which part of being a superhero's sidekick is worse; the side or the kick. After Gohan suckers her into
becoming 'Saiyaman's sidekick, Saiyagirl, Videl begins to see the ugly side of being a superhero. But what happens when
Veggie decides to create a supervillain squad composed of himself and Goku? Will Saiyaman and Saiyagirl save Gohan's
"kidnapped" mother and younger brother? Will Videl ever get that funky smell out of her helmet? Again; find out!
Chuquita: You know Videl and Gohan DID form a superhero team in Movie 13. I've got a picture of them in their costumes but
I've never seen the movie.
Piccolo: (sighs) I think he called her "Saiyaman 2", not Saiyagirl.
Goku: (confused) But that doesn't make any sense. She's not even a man!
Piccolo: Poor Gohan. He was such a cute little kid too...
Dende: I blame TV.
Chuquita: (looking at her notecards) I swear these ideas get weirder as they go along. Here's number 4!
4) Underwear. We all wear it; well--most of us. Bulma decides to invite a famous fashion designer to Capsule Corp. But what
happens when the fashion designer decides Veggie would be perfect for modeling her new line of underwear? Will Veggie go
through with it? Will he make it down the catwalk without blasting the audiance into oblivion? How will Chi-Chi and Goku
react to this one? Will Veggie be able to use his new "underwear model" title to his advantage? And what happens when the
papers suddenly start blasting rumors about his personal life? Find out!
Vegeta: (to Chu) (glares) Now that's just WRONG!
Chuquita: It's based on an idea I got from an old "Rocko's Modern Life" episode. Remember "Wedgie-boy"?
Everyone sans Chu: ...
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) Well, this is Vedgie-boy.
...
Chuquita: (snorts) Eh, you would've had to have seen the episode to get it. (to audiance) Anyway, last but not least is the
maybe--maybe not number 5. Now you may ask, why are you calling it a maybe--maybe not fic, Chu?
Goku: Why are you calling it a maybe--maybe not fic, Chu?
Chuquita: (sweatdrops) Uh, thanks Son.
Goku: (grins) Anytime!
Chuquita: Well the thing about idea number 5 is one that's been running in my head for a while. Some people have even
suggested I let it happen. To anyone who's ever read a lot of my fics, have you ever wondered what would happen if
Veggie won? You know, Son-San I mean. Well I have two case sceneros in my head of a 100 years from now and 200 years from
now. (I see saiyajins as still looking in their prime at least 150 years after DBZ ends; and I don't count GT) Well, here's
the summary.
5) Chi-Chi and Veggie make a bet on Goku's loyalty. The ouji says that by the time another century has past and Chi-Chi has
already gotten old and been buried he would have Son-San wrapped around his little finger, seeing as they saiyajins with
their longer life-spans and slow aging process will probably live way after the rest of the Z senshi pass on. Chi-Chi mocks
him and tells Veggie that her Go-chan loves her too much to give in to his ouji-obsessiveness. Goku is unsure if either of
them is right and a slightly worried Chi-Chi decides to take Mirai's time machine for a spin and find out. What awaits her
in the future is a fate worse than anything she possibly could have imagined for Goku. What is this fate? Will she be able
to change the future or her present to stop these events from occuring? Heck, if Mirai Trunks can do it so can Chi-Chi...
...right?
Vegeta: (grinning) I win?
Chuquita: Veggie shush! [whaps him on the head with her notecards] You see, the problem with this is A: Veggie NEVER wins a
battle against Chi-Chi over Goku's custody. It would be defying all known laws in my personal fanfic-kingdom-land. And B: I
want to avoid anything shounen ai-ish from turning up. Even if it is only a possible future for the ouji.
Vegeta: (grinning even wider) Possiblities are always endless, you know...
Chuquita: [whaps him with her notecards again]
Vegeta: OWW!!
Chuquita: (to audiance) What I'm going to do is write the first four, then probably have the audiance decide on number 5's
fate. I can think of a couple people who'd love to see it and some who would be shaking their heads going "don't do it Chu;
Veggie can't win and you shouldn't let him". (to Pic) I hope this all turns out oh-kay. Did you know as of current I am
behind 3 stories of having stuff up on ff.net because of the SECOND hardware crisis?
Piccolo: Man, that suc--
Chuquita: --yes it does. I hope my audiance is still there by the the time they get it back up in TWO WEEKS.
Vegeta: Was that a twinge of annoyance?
Chuquita: You bet. YOU STILL THERE AUDIANCE?!
Audiance: YEAH!
Chuquita: Good. I feel better. (sits back in her chair) Nor sleet nor hail nor temporary shut-down will keep the loyal fanfic
writer from her duty--or task at hand--whatever.
Piccolo: (gets up) Well I guess I better get going. (looks at watch) Come on Dende, let's go back to the lookout and shoot
off some fireworks.
Dende: (narrows his eyes) Kami's aren't allowed to possess fireworks.
Piccolo: Mr. Popo is.
Dende: ... [hops off the desk] Well...alright. (smiles) Say did he buy those little spinny sparklers?
Piccolo: The ones that twirl and shoot off lights while playing Yankee Doodle?...yeah.
Dende: WOO! In that case let's go! [both leave]
Chuquita: I guess that wraps up Piccy fic #2. I'm Chuquita, have a Happy Independence Day everyone, wherever you are!
Goku: The land of the free and the home of the twinkies!
Chuquita: Well said Son-San, well said.