Welcome newcomers!
This is a crack fic for the pairing SasukeXShikamaru. Of course this entitles that it will be yaoi (boyXboy) and be warned that there is swearing and randomness that may scar small childrens developing minds. (As mine was when I saw Sex in the City at the age of 4)
Yes this is a crack fic which means there will be plenty of randomness and lighthearted plot lines. However it is a WELL WRITTEN crack fic so you do not have to beware of chat lingo and the such.
Just one more note before continuing on: For those of you who don't catch on very fast. Shikamaru is dating Ino currently. By the way, this is also told from Shikamaru's point of view!
What a drag, I sighed. It was a Friday afternoon and I had no plans. Ino was off at an Anorexics Anonymous and Choji was stuck in the hospital again. I picked up an apple from a market stand I was leaning against lazily. I watched in relative fascination as the afternoon sun shined off of its red skin. The sight of a peculiar orange clad ninja abruptly broke my gaze. I tilted my head to the side and took a bite of the apple as I watched Naruto turn the corner. I decided to follow him for lack of anything better to occupy my time. I quickly tossed a coin over my shoulder to the saleswoman before racing off in the direction of the blonde.
He was too far ahead to catch up to so I continued to follow until he stopped at another corner that led into an alleyway. I cautiously peeked my head into the alleyway. My mouth was agape at the site of Sasuke pinning Naruto to the wall and kissing him roughly. I coughed awkwardly to disrupt their make out session after a few exceedingly long moments had passed. Naruto jumped, quickly releasing himself from Sasukes grasp. A bright red blush spread rapidly across his startled face. Sasuke on the other hand looked annoyed at being interrupted and sighed angrily.
"I didnt know you were gay!" I covered my mouth, appalled that I had let the surprised exclamation slip out. A slight blush spread on Sasukes cheeks. Naruto looked at the ground and swayed uncomfortably.
The awkward silence was broken when Sasuke grumbled, "What are you doing here anyways?" His irritation had obviously returned.
"I saw Naruto walk by, and I wanted to know if he had any plans tonight," Wow, that doesnt sound gay or anything. "But I see you two are obviously busy," I started to walk off when Naruto interjected.
"We were just gonna head to a party." Naruto spoke, regaining his voice at last. "You can come if you want, anyones allowed."
"Sure," I eyed Sasuke cautiously; he was giving me a death glare.
"Awesome!" Naruto shouted. "It's at nine o clock...Well, see you then." Sasuke grabbed his arm and started dragging him off.
Oh joy. A party. I thought to myself as I approached the large mansion. I hated large gatherings. They were always so crowded and troublesome. However, if I had stayed at home, my mother would have nagged me about being social and said something about how Im a teenager and should be going out on Friday nights. She was at last happy that I was finally dating someone; but I guess my relationship with Ino wasnt enough to stop her constant bickering. Mothers can be so troublesome. I'll never understand why my father chose her.
"Hi!" Tenten greeted happily. "Everyone is in the family room. Be sure to grab some snacks from the kitchen too," She announced as I entered the house.
I walked lazily into the living room where I heard a large commotion. Hinata had climbed atop a coffee table and started to strip dance.
"Go Hinata go!" Lee cheered her on.
"Okay!" She squealed as she began to pull her top off.
"I didnt know she had that big of boobs," Someone in the crowd shouted at the sight of Hinata in only a bra.
"Whoa there, Hinata," Iruka had come into the room and was trying to coax Hinata to get off of the table. "Come down now."
"No!" Hinata shouted out in protest.
"Don't take away her youth!" Lee slurred.
Iruka rolled his eyes as he attempted once more to grab her.
"Is you tryin teh molester me I-ruka?" she giggled madly. He gritted his teeth and tried again.
"Get off the bloody table Hinata," he demanded through clenched teeth. She wagged her finger at him and started to undo her bra.
"Thats it!" yelled Iruka as he grabbed Hinata and slung her over his shoulder. "Time to go home." She giggled again and made some random statements about going back to his place. He snatched her shirt from Lee who was putting it on in a drunken fashion and draped it over her shoulders. "Next time you get Hinata drunk youll have me to deal with. Dont ever take advantage of a girl like that or I will personally kick all of your asses on my honor as a ninja!" He screamed his last statement and then slammed the door behind him.
The party was silent for a moment before Lee said; "Heeeyyy Gaara did I ever tell you how hot you would look in spandex." I rolled my eyes and walked away.
I began to walk into the TV room when I saw the back of a familiar blonde walk into the opposite room. Thats Ino, not Naruto, for your information. She must have finished her AA early tonight. I walked into the kitchen after her only to be shocked stiff in the doorway. There was Ino leaning against the kitchen counter kissing Naruto!
I shook my head to snap myself out of it and raced out of the kitchen in search of Sasuke. After a short search I found him leaning against a wall near a speaker.
"Hey," I greeted.
"Hn," His usual response.
"Looks like your boyfriend is having some fun with my girlfriend," I said as matter-of-a-fact as I could manage.
"What?" Sasuke shouted. "Naruto would never cheat on me!"
"Take a look in the kitchen if you dont believe me."
We both walked into the kitchen to confirm my sighting. There they were, sharing desserts together while Ino giggled insanely.
"Theyre just eating together, nothing special about that. Narutos always been friendly," Sasuke tried to convince himself more than anyone.
Any doubt either of us had dissolved as Naruto leaned over and licked the spilt icing off of Ino's face. Our faces contorted in disgust before we silently left the two cheaters to themselves in the kitchen.
"I-I cant believe my Naruto," Sasuke trailed off; a look of actual pain on his face. His hurt expression made him look like a lost puppy. It was almost cute; that is if I were a girl.
Sasuke went up to the hired bartender and asked for the hardest liquor they had.
"You know, you're a bit young to drink that," I commented.
"I dont care!" He spurted out angrily before gulping down half of his glass.
"Lets go sit down," I suggested. Sasuke ordered another drink before following me to the couch.
The lovey dovey couples sitting around us were not helping with the mood.
"You know what?" The alcohol was beginning to affect Sasukes speech. "I'm gona get revenge on that adorable cheating bastard."
"And how exactly do you plan on doing that?" I questioned, wishing I had also ordered a drink.
"By dating you!" Sasuke pointed at me limply before his head fell back on the couch.
I raised my eyebrows at him, even though he was too delirious to notice. "You've got to be insane,"
"To make them jealous of course," Two rights dont make a wrong but in this case I didnt really care.
"It's scaring me how much I want to believe your drunk logic,"
"So you'll do it?" Sasukes eyes lit up.
"We arent even friends; I'd go as far to say that I don't really even like you. But revenge is sweet, so its a deal."
Another commotion started shortly after my agreement to Sasukes plan on revenge. Lee had continued to drink after Hinatas absence, and now clung to Garra to keep his balance.
"Lee, youre about to pass out. You need to go home," Garra spoke as rationally as he could manage.
"I'm jus' a bit...tipsy," Lee hiccupped.
"You're wasted. Im talking you home." Garra started to walk Lee to the doorway.
"Your place or mine?" Lee attempted to sound seducing.
Garra rolled his eyes. Poor guy, I dont think I could put up with Lee when he's sober. Lee stumbled over again and Garra sighed before lifting him over his shoulder.
"I'm just taking him home," Garra sighed before closing the front door.
"Hey, I've got an idea that will really piss off our cheating duo," Sasuke informed me, while waving around his glass, as I re-entered the living room.