My name is Freddy.
I can't tell you my last name, or where I live. But it's probably California. Where else would I be able to drive this bitchin' van? The Mystery Machine has been mine for awhile now. I got it off my brother Tom. My best friend Shaggy likes to squat in here with his space dog, Scooby. Scooby is like a blue centaur except he has no mouth and a pair of eyes sitting on stalks on his forehead. He also has a long, muscular tail with a blade at the end that could cut you in two. They are both in the back right now, getting really high on something kind of illegal.
Velma, caught in the cloud, was coughing in the bench seat behind me. "Oh my," she said. Velma is kind of my girlfriend. I mean, like I like her. She's black, which is a bit racy, but Martin Luther King is doing some good work for the blacks these days. Velma wears a big orange sweater to match her knee-high orange socks, and a cute little red skirt to match her little red shoes. She has short curly black hair and big black framed glasses which I love. I wish I knew what to say to her...
"Alright focus gang," I said, "we need to solve the mystery of the missing Animorph." Tobias had been missing ever since we went to rescue Velma from the underground Yeerk pool. Yeerks are these alien invader slugs that enter your brain and can control your every move.
"Maybe we should try to solve the mystery of the lost fashion sense," my cousin Daphne said in the passenger's seat next to me. Daphne is wearing a form-hugging purple dress with a green scarf that looks totally neat. Daphne flips her strawberry blonde hair and turns in her seat to look at Shaggy. "Seriously, a lime green shirt and burgundy bellbottoms?" Daphne asked.
"Hey, you know you dig it duuude," Shaggy puffed. Daphne rolled her eyes and sat back in her seat. For awhile there is silence except for the soft sound of the Bee Gees coming out of the radio. Then I notice Daphne looking at me with distaste.
"What?" I said, "I'm wearing a white polo."
"Yeah, with an orange scarf," Daphne replied.
"I thought it was rad."
"It will never be rad, Freddy. It will never be rad."
Shaggy nods solemnly from the back, his eyes closed. I ignore them and turn my eyes back to the road. I never wanted to be the leader. One day everybody just decided I was.
[Ree ruh ruh ro ro, 'Rince 'Reddy?] Scooby asked.
"Scoob," I said, "Don't call me 'Prince.'"
[Res 'Rince 'Reddy]
I got off the highway and drove down to the swamp. Rumor is that Tobias' last known whereabouts were at an old abandoned hotel out there. After a long drive through a forest of trees, vines, and other underbrush, we reached the hotel just before dark.
"Ew this place looks totally haunted," said Daphne.
"Jeepers, Daph! Watch your language!" Velma said. Daphne had a point though. Part of the outside wall of the hotel was badly decayed, as well as the roof, which was covered in moss and other plants. Vines were growing up the walls, and the whole place was surrounded by water. I could only reach the hotel by driving my baby onto a gaggle of wooden pontoons set up for parking.
"Let's go check it out," I said, and I pushed the gas. We parked outside and entered the hotel. The lobby was filled with bird cages. Every bird either squawked at us or fixed us with an evil glare. "Zoiks!" Shaggy said. I went up to the bar and ringed the bell. An old man with long gray hair and a wart on his nose came slithering out the back.
"Yeeeeees?" the old man asked creepily.
"Hi there, I'm Freddy, and these are my friends. We're looking for our other friend, Tobias. Have you seen him?" I asked. The old man's eyebrows shoot up for a moment, then his face goes back to normal.
"Can't say I have," the old man scratches his chin, "but pleased to meetcher. My name is Tobia- I mean, Jethro. Would you like a room for the night?"
"Well it has been a long drive," I said, "Let's sleep here tonight and we'll try looking for Tobias in the morning."
"I'm not sure about this, Fred," Daphne said behind me, looking about the spooky lobby.
Three commercials later we were standing in a dark and dusty bedroom, looking around.
"I don't like this place," Velma said.
"Let's just get some sleep," I said.
"But there are only two beds," Velma resisted.
"Well..." I said.
"We could split up!" Daphne said, "Me and Freddie can take one bed, and you guys can take the other!" Daphne looked at me and winked. She was trying to make me admit I like Velma.
"Hey dudes, I'm pretty sure that guy downstairs was Tobias," Shaggy said.
"Whooaaaaaaa," someone else agreed. Someone else... I freeze.
"Scooby, was that you?" I asked.
[Ro,] Scooby jumped into Shaggy's open arms. Shaggy caught him, but his knees shook under Scooby's crushing Andalite weight. We stand frozen in the darkness, our eyes boinking from side to side.
"WHOOOOAAA!" the voice cried again. We all jump about three feet in the air.
"Battle morphs gang!" I yelled. I felt the DNA of the Siberian Tiger coursing through me. My fingernails were replaced with hardened claws. My teeth grew sharp, and my chest, back, legs, and arms became packed with pound upon pound of solid muscle. I was a tiger, and it was far out. But when I looked behind me, Shaggy was a dolphin, Scooby was a droopy-eyed brown dog, and Daphne and Velma were still human. Velma was staring blankly at the wall.
"I think they're high," Daphne frowned at me.
[Wha-? Then why didn't you change?] I shot back.
"I'm not ruining this dress."
"WHOOAAAAA!" a ghost with the head of a bird came out of the walls and straight for us. We boogied out of the room and into the hall, where we escaped the ghost through a series of whacky doors and made it outside the hotel alive. Shaggy catches his breath and lights a joint at the same time.
"What the fuck was that?" Daphne cried.
"Some sort of ghost," I said, morphing back to human.
"But it can't be a ghost!" Velma said, "it must be an impostor."
"But who could it be?" I asked. Shaggy stared at me in disbelief, a thin wisp of smoke hanging in front of his nose.
"What are you talking about!?" Shaggy yelled, "For God's sake Freddy there's only one other person here! So let's tie'im up and kick his ass!"
"Maybe we should think about where this ghost is emotionally," Velma suggested.
"Uh-oh guys," said Shaggy, shaking with wide eyes, "it's back zoinks!" Oh no! The ghost! It was right here outside the hotel!
"Do something Scoob!" I yelled. Scooby ran forward and swung his tail high over his head. The blade arced through the air and swooped downward piercing Scooby's chest. Scooby stared down at it with all four eyes wide as the blood sprayed out on all of us.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHOHMIGODAAAAAAAAH HHHHHH!"
"It's in my eyes!"
Scooby hopped around frantically, trying to unstick the blade. Daphne ducked behind Velma, who was just getting it all over her body.
"Oh my God!" yelled the ghost. It ran to help Scooby, but tripped on the pontoon. The ghost fell over and rolled, tangling itself in a fishing net just before the edge.
"Scooby you did it!" I said excitedly. I looked over to see Scooby lying on the ground, his tail twitching as he bled out.
"Morph, Scoob!" Shaggy yelled. Slowly, Scooby started to change from that blue alien to that brown dog we all know and love. What? I mean, what was I saying? That was the weirdest thing... Scooby morphed back to his original blue form, the whole in his chest repaired.
"Now we can solve this mystery!" I said. I grabbed the ghost mask and pulled, revealing the old man who runs the hotel.
"The old man who runs the hotel?" we all said in surprise.
"I knew it all along," said Velma.
"Then why didn't you tell us earlier man?" Shaggy asked. Shaggy's short term memory is not so great.
"My first clue was when we took off his mask and found out that it was the old man who runs the hotel," said Daphne.
"But that's not the end of the mystery," Velma said with a coy smile, "because the old man who runs the hotel is really-"
Velma pulls at the old man mask and reveals Tobias in his red-tailed hawk morph.
"Tobias in red-tailed hawk morph!?" we all said in surprise.
"You trapped yourself as a hawk?" Daphne said incredulously, "I would've totally banged you in the back of Fred's van!"
[Damn,] said the bird.
"Hey," I look at Daphne, "that's not what I want to hear."
"Why would you do this?" Daphne asked.
"Because it's a war," Shaggy said, shrugging, "and war sucks. He probably came out here to get away from it all."
[And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids,] Tobias said grumpily. We loaded Tobias into the Mystery Machine and went home. I don't know what happened next. I pretty much tune out for the rest of the day after we solve a mystery.
I awoke from my dream, crying like I would never stop. I was back at the night we rescued Velma from the Yeerk pool. I prayed that Tobias hadn't been trapped as a hawk. I prayed that my cousin didn't want to bang him. I heard tires crunch the gravel outside my window. I got up quietly and padded down the stairs and outside. It's my van, the Mystery Machine, sitting in the driveway with the lights on.
[Freddie. Freddie, it's me!] I heard Tobias' voice in my head. I walked up to the van.
"Tobias?" I asked, "How…?"
[Elfangor, he touched my head, before I ran away at the construction site,] Tobias said, [it must have given me the power to acquire machines, because I was able to morph your van and hide out in the parking lot.]
"That's great," I said, "Well why don't you go back to human now, Tobias? You can come in and sleep on my bed. I could sleep on nails I'm so tired. Change back." Tobias says nothing, his headlights shining at me wordlessly. I can feel the lump forming in my throat, and I know already what's happened, but I'm not ready to admit it.
"C'mon now Tobias," I said, "change back."
[It took too long, Jake. I mean Fred. Longer than two hours.]
I wiped tears from my eyes, looking up to the stars. Somewhere up there were the rest of Scooby's people.
[They'll come, Fred. They'll come. But until then…]
I turn back to him, nodding, "Until then, we fight."