"John Watson, what the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Sherlock quickly snatched the phone out of his flatmate's hand.
"What do I think I'm doing? Sherlock you've gone mad! We can't keep this.. this thing! We have to call Lestrade or someone who will know what to do with.. it." John grasped for his phone, to no avail. Unfortunately, Sherlock had quite the advantage on him height-wise, and those long, skinny arms weren't much help to John either, considering Sherlock held the mobile far above his head. It really would have made for a cute, childlike "keep-away" situation, had it not been such a serious moment.
"I can handle this. I'm a high-functioning sociopath. I can handle anything. I do not need, nor do I want anyone hindering me from this task." Sherlock sneered in his usual manner. "Furthermore, you sound like an idiot. It is not proper to address a human child as an 'it'. He or she is used, depending on the gender of said child."
John's ears quickly became a bright pink, "Do you really think I don't know that? Sherlock, for a genius you are the most dense person I have ever met. I didn't know if it was a boy or girl, so I used something gender-neutral."
"Once again, your idiocy is blaring. The child's clothes are blue which customarily indicates a boy. Despite the fact this particular shade of blue does not come off as very masculine.." Sherlock murmured the last part as he was mostly just thinking aloud.
John sighed, rubbing his forehead. There really was no use reasoning with someone so.. well, unreasonable. "What, exactly, do you plan on doing with HIM then? Sherlock, if you think I'll let you experiment on a baby you have got-"
Sherlock cut him off with a quick snigger, "As much fun as that does sound, it is not what I have planned for young Hamish."
"Hamish? Funny you should pick that name considering I suggested it months ago. It's really not like you to actually listen. More importantly though, why the hell are you naming the thing? You can't keep it! If you name it, you'll just get attached!"
Sherlock laughed once more. "Attached? I am Sherlock Holmes and I do not get emotionally attached. Emotions are a waste of time. I am merely intrigued. In the time I've spent with Hamish, I noticed that he seems to be a bit intellectually advanced for his age, as was I, and I feel it would be beneficial for him to be raised around someone mentally strong so that he may live up to his full potential. Furthermore, it would give me some insight regarding the growth of humans, considering I have never witnessed it apart from my own growth, which was relatively difficult to document and review."
John shook his head dejectedly, "Are you saying you want to raise this child, just to study it? Christ, Sherlock, can't you just read a book on the subject?"
"I have read many, but books do not equate to actual experience." Sherlock said this in such a way as to suggest it was painfully obvious.
"And how exactly do you plan to care for him? You can barely take care of yourself, Sherlock! If it weren't for Mrs. Hudson and I, who knows what you'd be up to." John looked his flatmate in the eye, trying to figure out what exactly he wanted with this child. True, he was an orphan. They had just wrapped up the case of his parents' murders (which, according to Sherlock, were "dreadfully dull") and as far as they knew, he had no living relatives. He did find some moral obstacles when he considered giving him up to an orphanage. He'd heard some real shocking things about a few orphanages, although he had never seen any proof. It was unlikely they were as bad as books and other media portrayed them, but he imagined even if they did lack cruel, warden-like workers, they were still probably not the happiest of places. Surely it must feel lonely to not have any parents, no one to hold you after you had woken from a nightmare or make you a cuppa in the evening...
John was snapped out of his pondering by Sherlock's low voice, "You make an excellent point, John. I may not always remember to eat or sleep, but you are quite adept at mundane routines such as that. Which is precisely why you will be in charge of all of that for Hamish. I simply wish to observe."
"You expect me to care for the little one? You're the one who wants him in the first place!"
"Not just you, Mrs. Hudson will surely help."
"She's a bit old to take care of a.. what? One year old? Actually he doesn't even look that old..."
"Certainly not, don't most women her age wish to have grandchildren? That seems to be a reoccurring theme on most mediocre daytime television shows."
John groaned, but he really was starting to warm up to the idea. It would be nice to have something that resembled a family. Mrs. Hudson was already a lot like a mother to them, and having a son couldn't be so bad. But... What would that make Sherlock to him? "I suppose we could take care of him at least until we find out for sure whether or not he has any other family members willing to take him. We'll see after that." Sherlock's smile betrayed his usual callous facade at that moment. John had rarely seen him so utterly pleased at something that didn't involve murder. In fact, even when involving murder, he seldom had that undeniable twinkle in his eye. It made him look a bit more endearing than usual. John shook his head.