Yo! This is my first story, yes yes people that is right I, the great and handsome Sky Chef has just popped his fanfic cherry! Everyone congratulate me with lot's of reviews bwahaha! I decided to publish this story because I like the serious/comedy with some romance in it, but I hate waiting for stories to be updated so I figured hell might as well preoccupy myself with writing a story myself. That being said while I may hate waiting for updates, ya'll might end up hating me when it comes to updates…. Well depending on how well my story is liked. I tend to get in moods, sometimes I can sit and write for hours upon hours straight and other times I sit down and open Works then decided to go play come CS Source.

This idea originally came while I was working….. Err at work. The idea of writing a story had already popped into my mind so I was just brainstorming when the thought that there wasn't a single fanfic where Hagrid raised Harry that I had read. So I tried to work the story around that, so of course this will be AU. So this is what I did, two boy's who lived? Gone! Parents who hate Harry and give him up for some stupid half baked reason? Gone! Voldie you know him? Gone! Manipulative Dumbles? Gone!

Oh and Harry Evan, I changed the name too, just makes sense you'll catch on.

See end of story for details

Italics - Thoughts

Teasers are all done hope you enjoy the story!

I do not own Harry Potter, but this story is mine!

Chapter One - Quarter Giant?

The leaves on the ground gave a low crunch as Evan walked along the old dirt path behind his home. It had been nearly two years since he last set foot on it. A small grin threatened to take over his face as he thought about the many times he ran up and down this path, escaping from pops or just running to feel the wind on his face. The grin won as it spread across his face, raising his hands to the leaves of the trees that hung low enough to touch he spoke to his companion residing on his shoulder.

"Hang on tight Pif!"

Laughter filled the air as Evan broke off into a dead sprint against the wind. The leaves whipping against his hands, the not so light tug on his hair and howl in his ear from scaring the crap out of Pif. The Northern Pig-Tailed Macaque continued to rap it's tiny clenched fists against Evan's head as he slowed down near the end of the path, his laughter slowly turning into a chuckle.

"Aww c'mon Pif it was fun, stop being such a party pooper" said the still chuckling Evan as he reached up and ruffled the little monkey's head who quickly returned with a swat to the large hand.

Pif had joined Evan when he was bought from a local peddler in one of the towns. Was just suppose to be a quick fool the foreigner with a buy then run scam. But turned out to be a let's ditch the old peddler and join the kid. It was probably because Pif was no ordinary monkey, he was a Pifler also known as the King of Thieves. That and Pif had decided to bond with the boy and become his familiar. There was just something about the boy at the time that pulled Pif to him, he could see why now but then it was odd. Was quite funny to see the expression in Evan's face when his small black wings became visible.

"Well were here s'pose I should say hi to pops, bet he'll go ga ga over you. Oh and no stealing anything from our home, don't think I haven't noticed your little stash you twit." Evan smirked as he saw a little fist being shook at him in the air.

Walking through the old pumpkin patch and to the tall old cottage door Evan took a deep breath before opening the old door. Taking a quick look around Evan knew his dad was probably up at the castle eating. The house was empty and quite dirty too, figures that he would be too lazy to clean. Well he would do it later, more he thought about it he was quite hungry too.

Quickly making his way to his room Evan slung his pack off his back and rolled his shoulders. Would take some time getting use to not carrying that thing on his back anymore. A quick shake and crack of his neck and he turned towards the mirror to give himself a once over before heading up to the castle.

"Profess'er Dumbledore 'av there been any word yet?" Impatiently asked Hagrid he still couldn't wait for his son to come home, he should have been here two days ago and was beginning to get worried.

"Hagrid I have told you that when I get word, you shall be the first to know. I know it is hard but you must have faith"

"He shouldn't hav…" began Poppy before she was cut off

"Ahh looks like the first years should be arriving with Rin at anytime, you should get going you wouldn't want to be late" directed Dumbledore as he gazed at Minerva over his spectacles.

His ignoring of Poppy would at least be brought up a few more times this week, but it was worth it to not listen to her and Hagrid go at it. While Hagrid may have adopted him and been a father, Poppy took it upon herself to become his mother. Minerva quickly rose from her chair and made way to the entrance to collect the kids. It wasn't long before two lines of children were being walked down between each of the collective four houses.

"You will all come up as your name is called to be sorted, please be silent and wait for your turn" said Professor McGonagal as they neared the end of the hall.

Everyone turned towards the hat looking at it expectantly and the hat… just sat there. The silence and lack of attention was unnerving to the first years as they began to shuffle and dart their eyes around the room. A small but loud cough from the Headmaster got their attention.

"Oh is it time?" spoke the hat

"Same as it has always been every year" Dumbledore closed his eyes and sighed, the hat did this every year on purpose just to annoy him. Unfortunately during those few brief seconds the Headmaster missed a small flicker of light right next to the hat.

"Right right… well here goes…"

Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,

But don't judge on what you see,

I'll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me.

Zzzricitrwwwrrrt…

Truthfully I sit here to mind rape you,

And give you a feeling much worse then the flu.

I'll pick your brain like you do your nose,

Then send your ass to the house I've chose.

I'll giggle more then you can fathom,

Enjoying your screams like an Orga…

The hat's song was cut short as Dumbledore's fist came down on it leaving a crunch sound and a moaning hat. As he lifted up the hat the remains of a copy box from Zonko's was left sitting on the stool. Things had been peaceful the past two years, even with the Weasley twins around. This could only be one person, quickly darting his eyes throughout the crowd Dumbledore searched for this masked prankster only to come up with nothing. Smiling towards the silent and shocked crowd he whipped his wand out flicking it at the leftover pieces making them vanish.

"Ahh forgive the intrusion, seems like we have quite the prankster among us. Flappy, as you were" said Dumbledore as he set the hat back down on the stool.

"I'm not going to even start with the song again…AGATH, SARAH!"

Evan laughed behind the doors petting Pif "Nice job Pif, that was great. Though I s'pose Dumbledore knows about me being back after that little stunt. Not too many people can pull a prank off right in front of his face, and those that can wouldn't have been that vulgar."

Pif gave a monkey chuckle which sounded more like a humans gagging wheeze. Evan waited for the sorting to end before he would make his appearance. Soon as the hat stopped calling out names Evan dusted his shoulders and gave his eyebrows a double spit swipe with two fingers. Just as he was about to push open the doors he heard Dumbledore begin speaking on the other side.

"Welcome Evan, it's good to have you with us again, please come in before your parents become the death of me head off"

Evan pushed open the door with a scowl on his face "You old coot! Just had to ruin my grand entrance! Just wait till I get up there I am going to kick the dust right out of your ass!" shouted Evan as he marched up towards the Staff table with Pif giving his quick screeches and flailing his fists all over the place, just as mad as his master.

Dumbledore smiled amusedly knowing full well that even if he did scold the boy it would do no good. His other two companions though…

"EVAN YOUR BACK!" boomed Hagrid

"EVAN GRUB YOU GET YOUR ASS UP HERE SO I CAN WASH THAT MOUTH OUT!" shouted Poppy

"Awww crap didn't think mom would have been here too, well nice to meet you all" said Evan as he waved to the students with his eyes closed and a smile adorning his face. He quickly turned and began running right back the way he came from. He didn't take more then four steps before it felt like his was flying.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" shouted Poppy

"Nooooo leme down, someone! Anyone! Heeeeeeeelp Meeeeee!" frantically yelled Evan as he kicked, turned, and spun trying to get away as his mother levitated him closer. If the sorting hat shocked the students this must have been what mass paralysis looked like. Evan noticing his failed attempt to escape closed his eyes, accepted his soon to be punishment and began performing a mid air backstroke as he crept closer to his ultimate doom. He felt himself stop and slowly cracked open his left eye to see.. His mother smiling?

"I'm so glad you finally back, I was so worried!" Evan felt the spell cancelled and his mothers embrace shortly after. Returning the hug he smiled and then kissed her forehead.

"Yeah, me too it's been a wild trip I can't wait to tell you all about it!"

Releasing his mother he gave her a large smile before the air was sucked right out of his lungs.

"Ya made it back, I was so worried, but Dumbledore kept tell'in me at 'av faith an I did an 'ere ya are!" rambled Hagrid as he lifted his son into a huge bear hug.

"Po..ps…ca..nt…brea….th.." wheezed Evan

"Let him down you big oaf, can't you see he can't breath?"

Chuckling Hagrid let his son down and slapped him on the back a few times.

"I don't mean to intrude on this lovely reunion but perhaps we could settle down a bit so the students may begin to eat, I think they might be rather hungry…" spoke Dumbledore

The three of them turned to the students and smiled before Poppy flicked her wand providing another chair between her and Hagrid. Sitting down all three looked to Dumbledore like nothing had happened in the past 15 minutes. Dumbledore shook his head at the act and turned back to the students.

"Flit, tweet, flubber, knot!" shouted Dumbledore as food suddenly appeared in front of everyone. Chatter filled the air and slowly everyone filled their plates occasionally looking up at the smiling trio who were listening to the boy called Evan apparently tell his story with exaggerated hand motions.

"Draco.. Who is that up there?" snottily asked Pansy

"That would be that great oafs son, Evan Grub the Squib"

Pifler - A small monkey like creature with two small wings upon it's back that only the Piflers bonded can see. The wings tend to be furry and the same color as it's fur. Piflers are called King of Thieves because they not only love to steal things but could steal an ice cream cone right out of your hands without you realizing it. Along with their massive agility the wings provide a second motive, they can create flickers of light that can draw your attention away and in that split second is when they strike. The are notoriously crafty and smart, some call them the Goblins offspring.

So I thought this would be a nice little opener, most of these chapters will be about 5-10k words long after this so do expect a lot more if I get good reviews for this. Oh yeah, I need a beta as well so if your interested and have some experience in writing or some good ideas that you would like to add to the story, just send me a message!