"If I hadn't been there, that night, would you have pulled the trigger?"
Jenny is suicidal. Jibbs. Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING. Contains suicidal thoughts and/or actions. Nothing too graphic in here, just a voice in her head. One-shot.
Please, please, don't read this story if you are easily triggered. Just to be clear, I don't think self-harm is the answer to problems of any kind. This is written for my friend, who struggled with cutting for a long time, but got help and is now a few years clean.
This may not make a ton of sense, and certainly isn't my best work, but I tried. I'm not sure what the point of this story really is, but enjoy.
Italics- voice in Jenny's head
I don't own N.C.I.S. or any of the characters from the show.
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Jenny came home from work, exhausted. She had thought about this, for a long time.
No one knows how I feel... she thought. Jethro doesn't know...
And then there is La Grenouille. He killed my father. Nobody knows my pain...
She picked up the gun.
-Flashback-
Jenny held the gun up to her temple, in tears. She had just left Gibbs, and regretted it. She thought suicide was the only option.
"Ah, Jennifer." she heard him say.
"La Grenouille."
"Please, call me Renè."
"What do you want?"
"Like father, like daughter?" he stated, more than asked, gesturing towards the sig in her hand.
"He didn't commit suicide. You killed him!"
"I have done many things, Jennifer, but I did not kill your father."
"Lies!" Jenny screamed, still crying. She pointed her sig to her forehead, and before she could shoot herself, someone grabbed the gun from her hand.
-End Flashback-
Tears began to fall down Jenny's face. Why, Jethro? Why did I leave you in Paris? Why? she thought, running her fingers along the firm surface of the weapon. Is this what you really want, Jenny? Is it?
Jenny sank down, along the wall. Do it, Jenny. Take the damn gun.
In a trance, Jenny didn't see Gibbs come in, through the front door. She flipped the gun around and aimed it at her head.
Gibbs stepped through the door, and didn't bother to call her name. He walked into the study and found her leaning against the wall, holding a gun.
"Jenny!" he yelled, seeing the gun in her hand.
Jenny didn't respond. She just continued staring at the gun.
He couldn't get through to her.
"Jenny!" he yelled, again, running over to her and ripping the gun from her hands. He set it on her desk and walked back over to her, scooping her up, in his arms.
"What-" Jenny began, snapping out of the trance and looking up at him. "Agent Gibbs, put me down!"
"I'm not leaving you alone tonight, Jen."
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It had been one week since the night in Jenny's study. She and Gibbs were alone, in the evevator. He pressed the emergency stop switch, and Jenny sat in the corner, crying as he rubbed her back and pressed a kiss to her hair.
"I was so stupid." she said, in between burst of tears.
"You were never, ever, stupid, Jen."
She looked up at him, with teary green eyes. "You don't have to say that, just to make me feel better."
"I'm not. I'm saying it because it's the truth."
Jenny rolled her eyes, as if to say "Yeah, right." She stood up and wiped her tears away.
"You don't have to sleep on the couch tonight, Jen."
"I know."
Gibbs flipped the switch and the lights in the elevator came back on. The doors opened and the two walked off to go home.
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Jenny sat on a stool, watching Gibbs work on his boat.
"I'm going to bed, in a minute." Jenny said, breaking the silence. "It's been a long week."
"You okay, Jen?"
"I've been better." Jenny replied, standing up. She began to walk up the staircase, but stopped halfway up. "You've been staring at me, like you want to ask me something."
Gibbs looked up at her. "If I hadn't been there, that night, would you have pulled the trigger?"
"I guess we'll never know." she replied, disappearing up the stairs.
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Very short and not my best work, but I think it turned out pretty good! I'm going to update this asap and bring it back from the land of lost one-shots!
-A.F.