Disclaimer: All Gatchaman and Gatchaman-related characters are property of Tatsunoko Productions. No profit is being made from this story.
Author's Note: The tradition continues, as this is another fic inspired by Springie's wonderful fanart. To view the image, please go to springie. deviantart art/Up-Against-the-Wall-Colored-282439044 (cut-and-paste into browser and remove all spaces from URL)
Out of Bounds
I cursed.
"Mori, you idiot! Why didn't you throw it to me? I was open!" I yelled across the court.
"I couldn't see you, jerk! The Trever twins were blocking me!" Riki Mori fervently replied to my not-so-eloquent inquiry.
Ah, yes, another friendly after-school game of pick-up basketball. Just me and my high school buddies. Nothing quite summed up teenage male bonding like chasing a 22-ounce, 30-inch diameter ball up and down an asphalt court in the late afternoon.
A growl was my response back to Riki. It wasn't his fault that he was only 5'10" while the rest of us were over 6', the Trever twins, expatriates who had moved to Utoland when they were seven, being about 6'3" each. But Riki was quick and agile and got great air whenever he attempted a dunk. And that's why I always made sure he was on my team.
I walked over to the sideline and grabbed a bottle of water, glancing at the five other guys pacing on and around the court. My friends. Most of whom I had known since I had first come to live in Utoland all those years ago. These were the guys I had grown up with; the ones whose families had invited me to dinner; the ones who had all shared their ups and downs – along with a few punches. The brethren who were the alternative to my foster one.
I lamented for a moment as I removed the cap from the water bottle and took a drink. How was I going to break my news to them? I knew I couldn't just "disappear" – that wouldn't be fair to any of them. But I couldn't tell them the truth either. Hakase had made that perfectly clear.
"Hey, Asakura. You ready? Or are you going to prolong your team's loss by guzzling water all day?" Tommi Sato called tauntingly. It instantly brought me out of my reverie.
I quickly put down the water bottle and responded, "I was born ready, chump!"
"Pht. You Italians. Always think you're the shit." Tommi shot back as he threw the ball to me.
"Nah, only Joe thinks that." Mike Trever chimed in, clapping Tommi on the back as he jogged past him and into position.
"Oh yeah? How about you put your money where your mouth is?" I mock-glared as I tossed the ball back to Tommi and took my spot on the court.
Damn, I was going to miss these guys.
Twenty minutes later and the game was over, my team losing with a final score of 11-10. Fortunately, the earlier taunts of my skill prowess and heritage had long been forgotten amongst the winning woops and howls of Sato's team. Conversely, I also didn't remind Mori that if he had passed the ball to me, we could have been the ones who were now victorious. Instead, I focused on the irony of our loss, as it went deeply for me with the knowledge that this would be my last game. I didn't want to leave myself on a loss, but more importantly, I didn't want to leave any of my friends on one. Especially since I knew they would have a bigger loss all too soon.
The group of us walked back to the parking area, located alongside the brick façade of the Parks Department building that was situated near the basketball court. As the lot came into view, so did my car – a Nissan Skylark, a gift from Hakase when I had earned my driver's license last year. Of course I had been driving it for much longer than that, always on either Hakase's private property or the ISO training track. But when I had gotten my license, Hakase had officially surrendered the car into my possession. Little had I known then just how soon the true use of the vehicle - and I – would be needed.
Up until yesterday, the exterior of the Skylark had been just as indistinguishable as any other run-of-the-mill car. But now that Hakase was activating the Science Ninja Team, it had gone through a bit of a dual-purpose makeover: one for the military operation and one for the ruse I was about to pull.
Riki was the first one to notice the surface change.
"Hey, Joe. What's with the big '2' painted on your car?"
My breath caught for a moment as a quick jolt of anxiety coursed through me. I'd been dreading my reveal so much that I'd kept waiting to break the news to them, always finding a reason to push it off. However, I couldn't ignore it any longer; whether I liked it or not, that last awful minute that always seems to come, no matter how much you try to ignore it, had finally arrived. It was time to speak my non-truth to my friends.
"Joe, what's the deal?" Mike's twin, Danny, asked.
"I…uh…" I quickly cleared my throat to cover my stammer.
That hesitation resulted in five pairs of suspicious eyes staring back at me. In that one moment, they all had realized something was up. There was no going back now, and there was no reason to prolong it any further.
"I'm leaving Utoland High." I blurted out, then added somewhat haltingly, "to go to racing school."
I cringed internally as soon as I said it; I knew the excuse was as lame as it sounded. But this was what Hakase wanted me to say and what my cover job was going to be. It did make sense – I enjoyed stock car racing and pursued it as a hobby. But to tell people that I was dropping out of school to make it a full-time career… My friends knew me better than that. We were only a few months away from graduation; it made no sense for me not to complete my high school education at this stage. Of course, little did everyone know, I, along with the rest of the team, would finish our formal education in the next couple weeks at ISO Headquarters, before our first deployment would take place.
"What do you mean you're 'leaving Utoland High?'" Tommi asked incredulously.
"To go to racing school?" Reiji Ikeda repeated unbelievingly.
I stood frozen. I had known that my revelation wouldn't go over well, but to witness my friends' reactions and responses, for me to know that what I had told them was nothing but a lie... It was killing me inside.
"Wait, let me get this straight… You're quitting school to run off and become "Joe Asakura - Race Car Driver?" Mike questioned.
A wary smirk crossed my face.
"Yeah, I guess I am."
Suddenly it was like a dam had burst and everyone flooded me with their questions.
"Does your foster father know? And he's ok with it?"
"Why didn't you tell us before?"
"When are you leaving?"
"Why, Joe?"
I tried to respond in the order that I had heard their inquiries.
"My foster father knows, and he's given me his blessing," I began. I was surprised that this "fact" didn't compromise the entire ruse right away. Everyone knew Hakase well enough that, if running off and becoming a race car driver had been my idea, he never would have approved of it. In fact, if it had been my idea, this whole conversation would have gone in a completely different direction, with us figuring out how to convince Hakase to let me go.
But no one questioned it, so I continued on.
"I didn't say anything earlier because…" I hesitated again as I looked from Tommi to Reiji to Riki, and finally the Trever twins. The expression on all their faces was nothing less than bemused astonishment. As I absorbed their collective visage, I realized that the true reason I hadn't disclosed this earlier was because I hadn't been able to do so. Because deep down I had known that when I said good-bye to them, I would be saying good-bye to my childhood and what was left of my innocence. After today, I would be a special operations combat soldier in a war that I hadn't started, but would be part of until the end. Whether that end would be the enemy's or mine, I didn't know. But I knew that this was why I hadn't said anything earlier. Saying good-bye to my current life meant starting my new life and all the uncertainty that it held.
"I didn't say anything earlier," I started again, "because I was just accepted to racing school yesterday."
I wavered once more, swallowing hard, before adding, "I leave tomorrow."
There it was, the spark to light the fuse. The entire lie was out and there was no going back.
Before I had the chance to finish silently berating myself about my false revelation, Riki lashed out.
"You son of a bitch! How could you? We grew up with each other, we've done everything together! Isn't the culmination of all those years supposed to be our high school graduation? Our last hurrah as a group before we go our separate ways?"
He was right. We had talked about this for years. We had known that after high school we'd all go on to different aspects of our lives. Some would continue their education; others would go into the workforce. Some would move away; some would stay near by. But here I was destroying that last dream, leaving before our time was up, breaking up the group dynamic. Ten years of living each other's lives, and now I was walking away from it and everyone. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.
By this time, we were standing next to the Parks Department building, my car in front of us. I took a step back and leaned against the brick wall, removing my driving gloves from my pockets and pulling them onto my hands. I'm not sure why I took them out or put them on at that moment: nerves, distraction, or maybe it was my subconscious way of driving home my lie.
I hooked my now gloved hands onto the front pockets of my jeans and looked down at the ground, my expression and body language clearly emanating my feelings of remorse and dejection. For some strange reason, I became highly aware of the fact that I was wearing a white sleeveless t-shirt. Maybe it was some sort of subconscious symbolism of purity – and the fact that with the commencement of this untruth and my departure, my purity, and that of the group, was being taken away.
"I'm sorry, guys." I whispered.
"Sorry? Is that all you can say?" Mike accused. "Geez, Joe. I never thought you, of all people, would be the one to break up our brotherhood like this. Sure I thought you'd be one of the ones to move on and move away, but here? Now? For racing school? I thought we were like the brothers you never had, our families substitutes for the one you lost."
Mike paused for a second, disgust rising higher as he continued.
"You, me, and Danny, we shared the same experience of having ended up in Utoland as kids. We were foreigners in a foreign land; we understood what that meant when no one else around us did. Not knowing anyone, not knowing the language or the culture. We were there for each other in a whole different way. And this... This is how you end it?"
He was right, of course. I couldn't deny any of it. When I had been homesick for BC Island, they understood. When I had been learning the language and repeatedly stumbled over my words, they had understood. They had understood it all - loss of a homeland and loss of self; the only thing they hadn't understood was the deep sense of loss I had for my parents.
I pulled my eyes up from the ground and looked at Mike just as he made a fist and readied to throw a punch. Surprisingly, even with all my training, I didn't move out of the way or try to deflect what would be coming. Instead, I instantly stared back down at the ground and did the one thing that was completely uncharacteristic of me, and probably would have gotten me thrown off the Science Ninja Team: I flinched.
Danny grabbed his brother's fisted hand and pulled him back before he had the chance to throw it.
"Mike, stop! He's not worth it." he ordered as I once again picked my eyes up from the concrete sidewalk below me.
Mike looked fervently at Danny, then at me as he spat, "Asshole! Just a few more months. You couldn't wait just a few more months for us to graduate?"
Mike abruptly turned and walked away.
Danny dutifully followed his twin. Danny was generally much more even-tempered than Mike or I, so I had been taken aback at his comment when he had stopped Mike from punching me. I was even more taken aback when, as he was walking away, he turned, pointed his index finger directly at me, and threatened, "You'll regret this, Asakura!"
I shut my eyes, feeling completely hopeless and utterly defeated. I had known that my news wouldn't go over well, but I hadn't expected a negative response to this degree. I had tried to prepare myself for any type of reaction, but at the same time I had allowed myself to believe that my friends would accept my so-called decision without question and support me like they always had.
But this was different. This lie I was feeding them was above and beyond any crazy story or action I had ever taken before. And considering some of the trouble I had gotten into over the years, that was saying a lot. But anything I had done previously had not been a personal affront to the unit. I realized that now, but unfortunately my understanding had come too late.
I hadn't needed Mike to punch me; just seeing and hearing the scene in front of me made me feel like I was being beaten to a pulp.
I took a deep breath and surveyed Reiji, Tommi, and Riki, who still stood in front of me. Riki was still upset, but I could see that he had started to calm down from his initial outburst. Reiji and Tommi were speechless, and after Mike and Danny's abrupt exit, I could see that the two of them wanted nothing more than to leave, too.
"It's ok – you can go." I permitted all three of them. At those words, my tough-guy facade failed me, as if giving them permission to leave was my personal permission to falter.
"I know this destroys everything we planned and worked up to." I started. "You have every right to be mad at me. But please know I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't want things to end this way. I didn't know I would..." I stopped, realizing that I was about to spoil my cover. Though I had wanted to finish my sentence by saying that I hadn't known I would be needed so soon, I instead ended it with, "be accepted and have to leave so quickly."
It was Reiji who spoke first. He was calm, but the words he spoke were hollow.
"Joe, if this is really what you want, then we have no right to stand in your way. Best of luck." He held out his hand and we shook our goodbye. So this is what it had come down to. Ten years of friendship and camaraderie and it was ending with a meaningless handshake.
"We sure had fun while it lasted," Tommi offered, though his words also fell flat. "I hope everything works out for you, bro. Whenever you're in town, you know where to find us for a game."
I smiled ruefully. Whenever I'd be in town. The thought cut me to my core as I knew I'd always be in or near town, always near my friends, but I would always be far away, unable to associate with them as I had until today. I knew that I'd never have the same freedoms that I currently had again; no, from now on I'd always be on-duty, always needing to run whenever a mission was called, at any time of the day or night. I'd be gone for days or weeks on end, if I came back at all.
I understood the dangers for the team and our civilian counterparts to know the Science Ninja Team's truth. Everything I was doing today was for my friends' protection, and ours. Although I understood this, it didn't make me feel any better or absolve my guilt
"Thanks, guys" I replied sincerely. "For understanding. And for everything." My emotions were a jumble inside and this was the only way I could convey my gratitude for the lifetime of friendship we shared.
Reiji and Tommi then turned and made their way to Reiji's car at the other end of the parking lot.
Then it was just Riki and I, standing there alone. Riki, the first person I had met outside of Hakase's compound; the first person with whom I had become friends when I had been sent to Utoland Primary School.
"So. You're really leaving." Riki stated.
"Yeah." I responded quietly.
"I don't get it, Joe. Sure, you can be impulsive, but what you're doing... It just isn't you."
I had known that if anyone would pick up on the falsehoods it would be Riki. He'd always been way too astute when it came reading people, especially me.
"It was an opportunity I couldn't pass up." was my hollow, almost rote-sounding, reply. How could Hakase be making me do this? Outside of the team, Riki was my oldest and closest friend in Utoland. If anyone deserved honesty, it was he.
Riki gave me a wary look. I knew he still didn't believe me, but there was nothing I could do.
"If you say so. Just don't forget who your real friends are when you're out on that track chasing your dream. When you make it to the Winner's Circle, I hope you remember who it was that was there for you all those years." He wasn't saying this in anger; he was just speaking his mind. I didn't interrupt and let him continue.
"I'm gonna miss you, Joe. You really are like a brother to me and have been since the day we met. I'd like to think we have a bond that will never truly be broken, no matter what circumstances come between us." Riki hesitated, looked at me pointedly, then added, "Or where you are or what rival you're chasing."
My mind quickly jumped to another person I had known in what felt like another lifetime. I mused over the fact that that person and I had prided ourselves over the same bond and promise to each other. But it had now been well over ten years since I'd last seen or spoken to Alan, due, ironically, to the same circumstances that afflicted me now. As much as I didn't want it to, I knew the same fate would befall Riki and me. Once I was gone, our brotherhood would quickly fall apart and our bond would be broken.
"Keep in touch," Riki concluded hollowly, and I knew that he, too, realized our fate.
I flashed my eyes and nodded toward the Skylark.
"Want a ride?" I asked.
"No," Riki replied quietly. "I'll walk."
Just as my other now-former brothers had done, Riki Mori turned and walked away, leaving me alone with nothing but the memories of my past and the empty uncertainty of my future. Just as it had been when I had first come to Utoland.
