Swapping the pieces around.
PG-13
All characters herein are the property of Joss Whedon (except the ones I made up, but even if he uses them, I'd be chuffed to bits) and are used here solely for the entertainment of others. No profit is intended. Also, I've used some exact dialogue from Mart Noxon's 'Wild At Heart', however, it soon becomes AU.
Authors Note I have a set narrative in mind, but why don't you drop me a line telling me what you would like to see? Nothing smutty, mind, as FF.net is a squeaky clean place to be now. And I say yay! That means no more gratuitous snuff stories. Anyway, I'm ranting. Commence l'histoire!
This story takes place right at the end of 'Out of My Mind'. Buffy and friends have foiled an attempt by Spike to remove that pesky chip, and we join our hero (or is that anti Hero?) on the long walk home.
+++ Sunnydale October 2000
Spike and Harmony trudged back to his crypt. Another plan failed. Right now he should be bathing in the slayer's blood doing the waltz around her broken body. Instead, she was off out with Marine Boy lording it up, probably laughing at Spike and Harm.
"Oh come on Spikey." said Harmony in an attempt to cheer him up "Sure you still can't murder any humans, but at least you got me."
"Marvellous" quipped Spike.
"That's gratitude!" moaned Harmony "You reject me forcefully, then in your greatest hour of need, I selflessly help you in. ooh ooh Spikey its me! Its me!"
Spike wondered what the hell had caught her attention. She ran up to a nearby telegraph pole, and yanked a missing poster down. It was of course, her missing poster. Her family must have refused to believe she died on Graduation day. Harmony was a pleased as punch that she could see her own face again; it must have been the first time in a year.
"Oh, why couldn't Daddy use a better picture?" sighed Harmony
"I dunno." said Spike sighing, he glanced down at the poster "Perhaps he thought that the other might scare. hang on." he snatched the poster out of Harmony's hands.
".this poster has been funded by Kendall Electronics." Spike read aloud
Harm snorted "Oh typical Dad, way to make money on your missing daughter. What a creep. I should go over there right now and hand him his lungs. Come on pookie," she began, grabbing his arm "I'll let you drink from the dead maid."
Spike wrestled himself out of her grip, not looking up from the poster. "So, you're Dad's the boss of one of the biggest companies in down."
"Duh" said Harmony. It was comments like that that made Spike wish she was human, so he could rip her throat out, well if he didn't have the bloody chip in his skull. The thought of his chip brought him back to reality.
"So, you're not classified as dead, and you're a rich bit- a daughter of a rich bloke?"
"Uhh huh" said Harmony.
Spike balled his hand into a fist. A plan was forming. "I'm guessing dear old Daddy gave his dear old daughter a credit card."
"Du-" Spike quickly put a finger to Harmony's lips
"Yes or no will do love." Said Spike
"Yes"-said Harmony
"So, since they think you're missing, the old man didn't close you're account, right?"
"No. oh wait that means I can spend money!" said Harmony if she was a cartoon character, she would have had huge dollar signs in her eyes. But the there was one problem - the ones in Spike's would be bigger.
"Yes. for me!" he added
+++ A few hours later, they were outside Mack's All Night Natural Health Food shop. Harmony didn't understand why she'd been dragged here. The stuff he sold was yucky, she'd tried some of his high protein shakes - they made her barf, and that was before she was a Vamp. Why did Spike want her money? And why did he want to spend it in a health food Store?
Spike opened the door, Harmony followed. It was a dull health food store. It had more natural supplements rather than the chemical kind that Harmony preferred in life. Her philosophy was that if nature gave her such flaws, why use natural products? Why not use chemicals? Behind the counter was a firmly built hot guy - perhaps this wasn't such a dump after all.
"Hello there, welcome to the store, what healthy products can I get for you this fine evening?
Spike went into his pocket and got out his lighter. He held it up to the beefcake behind the counter, and drew a ring in the lighter in the air - the flame seemed to slow, and then stop - a ring of fire hovered in front of him. Spike put away the lighter.
"Avatar be-gone" Spike said. The flame seemed to engulf the clerk, then when it was cleared, pus filled slime demon stood behind the counter.
"Hey Man, what's the deal? What if a human customer came here?" the demon said in a squelchy voice. "I don't think they'd want to be served a health food bar from a 200 year old Leshar Demon."
"Relax" said Spike "You'll be able to cast your Avatar at the next sunset. Now go and get me your gaffer."
The demon nodded and went into the back. This was freaking Harmony out - was every other person in Sunnydale a demon, Vampire or Werewolf except her? Now even she was one of them!
"Spikey, what's goin on? Why do demons run health food stores? And why are we here?"
"Its called 'Sunnydale'. Now, deal with it." He coolly lit a cigarette.
"Umm Spike, it says 'No Smoking' over there" said Harmony, pointing to the sign on the door.
"It says 'No Dogs' either, I'll put his out when you leave. Ok, ok, this is my plan, if you can understand. About 2 years ago, Angel muscled in on my territory - he gets fangs for the first time in a century, and he nicks my bird. Anyway, I - and I'm ashamed to admit this - made a deal with the Slayer, me and Dru skip town, she slays Angel, saves the world, everyone's happy right? Well, that was only plan B. Y'See, before I helped the Slayer, I heard about Mack. Turns out, this is just a front. He fleeces the yuppies of this dump by day, by night he sells potions, brews and tonics to a strictly 'night time' clientele."
"So you came here to buy potions - what for?" asked Harmony, finally making sense of Spike's words, but blissfully missing his snide comments about her and her former lifestyle.
"It wasn't a potion - it was the blood of a Time Demon. They were all wiped out in the Middle Ages. Those who drink their blood can go to any point in their own past and interfere. I wanted to drink it, go back in time to before Angel lost his soul, dust him, and maybe take out the Slayer, and Dru would never know the difference."
"Awww Spike, that's so romantic - you'd travel back in time and alter history for your girlfriend. Would you do something like that for your little Harm?"
Spike choked on his Cigarette - not that he needed to breath or anything, it was just a force of habit that lingered still from his human days.
"For this price? I shouldn't think so. That was the flaw in my plan, Mack wanted 3,000 dollars for the potion, what with it being very rare and impossible to reproduce. So, I couldn't kill and steal, without Angel or Dru getting wind of it, or even worse, the slayer. If I just tried to steal, then someone would see me, and do one of those photo-fit thingies on TV. So, like I say, plan B, help the Slayer."
Harmony still looked confused "But why come back now. oh, wait now I get it. you want to go back to a few hours ago, and help the past versions of us get the chip out of your head."
"Got it in one love." Spike said smiling.
Mack came down the stairs. He was a large, yellow winged demon with porcupine like spikes running down his back. "Hey why hasn't this one got an Atarvus" asked Harmony.
Mack's voice was gruff and moody "Because since someone removed the Avatar of my staff here, I have to go on a supply run tomorrow, so I've left it off before Blondie here can burn it off for a day."
"Alright Mack, still got some of that lovely Time Demon's blood." Asked Spike
"Yes, and the price remains the same, 3000 dollars. Not 200, not 20 and what was it - your word you won't 'shove my bleeding spikes where the sun doesn't shine'?"
Spike slapped Harmony's credit card onto the counter. Mack's purple eyes lit up.
"Right this way please Sir." said Mack, ushering Spike through a door.
"Harm, why don't you wait here? keep a watch, for any Slayer activity."
Harmony squealed with delight, Spike had chosen her, and she wouldn't let him down. She'd shout if the Slayer came anywhere near them.
"You can count on me." Said Harmony.
"I know I can love, I know I can."
+++ Spike and Mack descended the spiral staircase. Mack seemed to be awful fidgety for a demon.
"S-slayer? If she knows about this outfit, I could be ruined." Stammered Mack.
"Keep yer spines on." Said Spike "The Slayer doesn't know about this place."
"Then why did you warn her."
"Because, I'm not going back to a few hours ago, I'm going back, about a year, give or take a few weeks, and explaining to her would be complicated."
The yellow demon's face smoothed again, his worry lessening. "It's your dollar pal."
Spike smirked. Actually it was three thousand, and they weren't his. But, now wasn't the time for technicalities. He would go back to 1999, just before those yahoos from the Initiative caught him and stuck the chip in his head. Hopefully he could make nice with his past self, warn him to avoid the Initiative, and make a request of him, thus ensuring he would forever be the Big Bad.
They finally arrived in the basement. It was full of shelves with various brews, Spike picked one up it was a blue liquid.
"'Horn Extension Fluid. add 2-3 inches in two weeks, natural formula.' People actually pay for this slop?" he asked with a chuckle
The yellow demon took the bottle out of Spike's hands and put it back on the shelf, "Actually its only Anti-Freeze, but it does have the desired effect on horned demons. but, where not here to enlarge horns are we sir?" He went to a floorboard and lifted it up. He reached down into the floor, and pulled out an ornately decorated tube, about the size of a Cuban cigar.
"Here you go. but be warned, there are some things you must bear in mind."
"Isn't there always?" asked Spike.
"Well, and I'm not sure I understand this myself, if you alter history for what you think is the better, then obviously, this reality will never happen."
"Yes, that is the plan." Said Spike, he reached for the tube, and the demon held it in the air.
"Well, the mystics who sold me this stuff said that if someone else uses the blood to change the history you tried to change, then you won't be able to change history in the first place, for the second time."
"Bloody hell, and in English?" asked Spike.
"Basically, if someone uses the blood to alter history after you, then the changes you made will be erased. Understand?"
"Yeah, yeah, I got it. Just let me have it." The demon put the wooden test tube in Spike's hand. The carvings were of the time demon. Spike had seen uglier, but hey, the mystics that siphoned the blood from the demon road kill might have been conservative with the gore, Spike thought.
"Alright, how does it work?" Spike asked.
"You take off the stopper." Said the demon, reading from a scroll that was in the same hole as the tube. Spike complied and it budged with a satisfying 'pop'.
"Now focus on the moment you wish to revisit, and inhale the aroma of the bottle."
Spike remembered the moment he wanted to get to. It was in 1999, November. He had just returned from LA after missing out on the Gem of Amarra thanks to Angel and his cronies, well actually it was that bloody loony Marcus who ran off with it, but it was Angel's chums who interfered at the last minute, making him lose the ring. Spike shook his head and focused back on the moment. He had returned from LA, and was watching Buffy battle some feeble Vamps from a distance Spike guessed that not one of them was 5 years dead. They were all dust soon enough, but not before Buffy made with the funnies. Spike had comments of his own, but before he could finish he had been bagged and tagged by those army boys. Keeping the moment in his mind, he raised the tube to his nose, and inhaled.
"Now Drink" instructed Mack.
Spike downed the blood in one - and it was foul. Even pigs blood was better than this swill. Spike likened the experience to trying to drink a garden shed. He finally forced the fluid down his throat, and immediately it felt as if his intestines were on fire. His body began to fade. The basement around him began to fade, and reformed into an outside area at night.
+++ Sunnydale 1999
Spike watched as Buffy battled some rookie Vampires. They were small fry. Even one of her Slayerettes could take them out. She held a stake up to one.
"You know very well, you eat this late..." she said, as she plunged a stake into his heart. "you're gonna get heartburn. Get it? Heartburn?" his flesh burned away in a second, and his bones turned to ash. But the slayer seemed a little distant "That's it? That's all I get? One lame-ass vamp with no appreciation for my painstakingly thought out puns. I don't think the forces of darkness are even trying."
"Watch your mouth, little girl." Spike began out of earshot "You should know better than to tempt the Fates that way. 'Cause the Big Bad is." Spike heard a cracking sound, followed by a scream that sounded suspiciously like his own. He turned around to see a soldier laying unconscious, while he saw someone who looked very like him - from what he could remember - clutching his head. Another guard was moving in on his double, Spike was quicker, diving on him, and snapping his neck.
"Either you're me, or we shop at the same store. Unless you shop at the Dead Slayer Warehouse I'm guessing column A?"
+++ Will Spike manage to tell Spike what goes down? Will it make any difference? If it does, will it be in Spike's favour? Find out in the next instalment, meanwhile, feel free to R and R.
All characters herein are the property of Joss Whedon (except the ones I made up, but even if he uses them, I'd be chuffed to bits) and are used here solely for the entertainment of others. No profit is intended. Also, I've used some exact dialogue from Mart Noxon's 'Wild At Heart', however, it soon becomes AU.
Authors Note I have a set narrative in mind, but why don't you drop me a line telling me what you would like to see? Nothing smutty, mind, as FF.net is a squeaky clean place to be now. And I say yay! That means no more gratuitous snuff stories. Anyway, I'm ranting. Commence l'histoire!
This story takes place right at the end of 'Out of My Mind'. Buffy and friends have foiled an attempt by Spike to remove that pesky chip, and we join our hero (or is that anti Hero?) on the long walk home.
+++ Sunnydale October 2000
Spike and Harmony trudged back to his crypt. Another plan failed. Right now he should be bathing in the slayer's blood doing the waltz around her broken body. Instead, she was off out with Marine Boy lording it up, probably laughing at Spike and Harm.
"Oh come on Spikey." said Harmony in an attempt to cheer him up "Sure you still can't murder any humans, but at least you got me."
"Marvellous" quipped Spike.
"That's gratitude!" moaned Harmony "You reject me forcefully, then in your greatest hour of need, I selflessly help you in. ooh ooh Spikey its me! Its me!"
Spike wondered what the hell had caught her attention. She ran up to a nearby telegraph pole, and yanked a missing poster down. It was of course, her missing poster. Her family must have refused to believe she died on Graduation day. Harmony was a pleased as punch that she could see her own face again; it must have been the first time in a year.
"Oh, why couldn't Daddy use a better picture?" sighed Harmony
"I dunno." said Spike sighing, he glanced down at the poster "Perhaps he thought that the other might scare. hang on." he snatched the poster out of Harmony's hands.
".this poster has been funded by Kendall Electronics." Spike read aloud
Harm snorted "Oh typical Dad, way to make money on your missing daughter. What a creep. I should go over there right now and hand him his lungs. Come on pookie," she began, grabbing his arm "I'll let you drink from the dead maid."
Spike wrestled himself out of her grip, not looking up from the poster. "So, you're Dad's the boss of one of the biggest companies in down."
"Duh" said Harmony. It was comments like that that made Spike wish she was human, so he could rip her throat out, well if he didn't have the bloody chip in his skull. The thought of his chip brought him back to reality.
"So, you're not classified as dead, and you're a rich bit- a daughter of a rich bloke?"
"Uhh huh" said Harmony.
Spike balled his hand into a fist. A plan was forming. "I'm guessing dear old Daddy gave his dear old daughter a credit card."
"Du-" Spike quickly put a finger to Harmony's lips
"Yes or no will do love." Said Spike
"Yes"-said Harmony
"So, since they think you're missing, the old man didn't close you're account, right?"
"No. oh wait that means I can spend money!" said Harmony if she was a cartoon character, she would have had huge dollar signs in her eyes. But the there was one problem - the ones in Spike's would be bigger.
"Yes. for me!" he added
+++ A few hours later, they were outside Mack's All Night Natural Health Food shop. Harmony didn't understand why she'd been dragged here. The stuff he sold was yucky, she'd tried some of his high protein shakes - they made her barf, and that was before she was a Vamp. Why did Spike want her money? And why did he want to spend it in a health food Store?
Spike opened the door, Harmony followed. It was a dull health food store. It had more natural supplements rather than the chemical kind that Harmony preferred in life. Her philosophy was that if nature gave her such flaws, why use natural products? Why not use chemicals? Behind the counter was a firmly built hot guy - perhaps this wasn't such a dump after all.
"Hello there, welcome to the store, what healthy products can I get for you this fine evening?
Spike went into his pocket and got out his lighter. He held it up to the beefcake behind the counter, and drew a ring in the lighter in the air - the flame seemed to slow, and then stop - a ring of fire hovered in front of him. Spike put away the lighter.
"Avatar be-gone" Spike said. The flame seemed to engulf the clerk, then when it was cleared, pus filled slime demon stood behind the counter.
"Hey Man, what's the deal? What if a human customer came here?" the demon said in a squelchy voice. "I don't think they'd want to be served a health food bar from a 200 year old Leshar Demon."
"Relax" said Spike "You'll be able to cast your Avatar at the next sunset. Now go and get me your gaffer."
The demon nodded and went into the back. This was freaking Harmony out - was every other person in Sunnydale a demon, Vampire or Werewolf except her? Now even she was one of them!
"Spikey, what's goin on? Why do demons run health food stores? And why are we here?"
"Its called 'Sunnydale'. Now, deal with it." He coolly lit a cigarette.
"Umm Spike, it says 'No Smoking' over there" said Harmony, pointing to the sign on the door.
"It says 'No Dogs' either, I'll put his out when you leave. Ok, ok, this is my plan, if you can understand. About 2 years ago, Angel muscled in on my territory - he gets fangs for the first time in a century, and he nicks my bird. Anyway, I - and I'm ashamed to admit this - made a deal with the Slayer, me and Dru skip town, she slays Angel, saves the world, everyone's happy right? Well, that was only plan B. Y'See, before I helped the Slayer, I heard about Mack. Turns out, this is just a front. He fleeces the yuppies of this dump by day, by night he sells potions, brews and tonics to a strictly 'night time' clientele."
"So you came here to buy potions - what for?" asked Harmony, finally making sense of Spike's words, but blissfully missing his snide comments about her and her former lifestyle.
"It wasn't a potion - it was the blood of a Time Demon. They were all wiped out in the Middle Ages. Those who drink their blood can go to any point in their own past and interfere. I wanted to drink it, go back in time to before Angel lost his soul, dust him, and maybe take out the Slayer, and Dru would never know the difference."
"Awww Spike, that's so romantic - you'd travel back in time and alter history for your girlfriend. Would you do something like that for your little Harm?"
Spike choked on his Cigarette - not that he needed to breath or anything, it was just a force of habit that lingered still from his human days.
"For this price? I shouldn't think so. That was the flaw in my plan, Mack wanted 3,000 dollars for the potion, what with it being very rare and impossible to reproduce. So, I couldn't kill and steal, without Angel or Dru getting wind of it, or even worse, the slayer. If I just tried to steal, then someone would see me, and do one of those photo-fit thingies on TV. So, like I say, plan B, help the Slayer."
Harmony still looked confused "But why come back now. oh, wait now I get it. you want to go back to a few hours ago, and help the past versions of us get the chip out of your head."
"Got it in one love." Spike said smiling.
Mack came down the stairs. He was a large, yellow winged demon with porcupine like spikes running down his back. "Hey why hasn't this one got an Atarvus" asked Harmony.
Mack's voice was gruff and moody "Because since someone removed the Avatar of my staff here, I have to go on a supply run tomorrow, so I've left it off before Blondie here can burn it off for a day."
"Alright Mack, still got some of that lovely Time Demon's blood." Asked Spike
"Yes, and the price remains the same, 3000 dollars. Not 200, not 20 and what was it - your word you won't 'shove my bleeding spikes where the sun doesn't shine'?"
Spike slapped Harmony's credit card onto the counter. Mack's purple eyes lit up.
"Right this way please Sir." said Mack, ushering Spike through a door.
"Harm, why don't you wait here? keep a watch, for any Slayer activity."
Harmony squealed with delight, Spike had chosen her, and she wouldn't let him down. She'd shout if the Slayer came anywhere near them.
"You can count on me." Said Harmony.
"I know I can love, I know I can."
+++ Spike and Mack descended the spiral staircase. Mack seemed to be awful fidgety for a demon.
"S-slayer? If she knows about this outfit, I could be ruined." Stammered Mack.
"Keep yer spines on." Said Spike "The Slayer doesn't know about this place."
"Then why did you warn her."
"Because, I'm not going back to a few hours ago, I'm going back, about a year, give or take a few weeks, and explaining to her would be complicated."
The yellow demon's face smoothed again, his worry lessening. "It's your dollar pal."
Spike smirked. Actually it was three thousand, and they weren't his. But, now wasn't the time for technicalities. He would go back to 1999, just before those yahoos from the Initiative caught him and stuck the chip in his head. Hopefully he could make nice with his past self, warn him to avoid the Initiative, and make a request of him, thus ensuring he would forever be the Big Bad.
They finally arrived in the basement. It was full of shelves with various brews, Spike picked one up it was a blue liquid.
"'Horn Extension Fluid. add 2-3 inches in two weeks, natural formula.' People actually pay for this slop?" he asked with a chuckle
The yellow demon took the bottle out of Spike's hands and put it back on the shelf, "Actually its only Anti-Freeze, but it does have the desired effect on horned demons. but, where not here to enlarge horns are we sir?" He went to a floorboard and lifted it up. He reached down into the floor, and pulled out an ornately decorated tube, about the size of a Cuban cigar.
"Here you go. but be warned, there are some things you must bear in mind."
"Isn't there always?" asked Spike.
"Well, and I'm not sure I understand this myself, if you alter history for what you think is the better, then obviously, this reality will never happen."
"Yes, that is the plan." Said Spike, he reached for the tube, and the demon held it in the air.
"Well, the mystics who sold me this stuff said that if someone else uses the blood to change the history you tried to change, then you won't be able to change history in the first place, for the second time."
"Bloody hell, and in English?" asked Spike.
"Basically, if someone uses the blood to alter history after you, then the changes you made will be erased. Understand?"
"Yeah, yeah, I got it. Just let me have it." The demon put the wooden test tube in Spike's hand. The carvings were of the time demon. Spike had seen uglier, but hey, the mystics that siphoned the blood from the demon road kill might have been conservative with the gore, Spike thought.
"Alright, how does it work?" Spike asked.
"You take off the stopper." Said the demon, reading from a scroll that was in the same hole as the tube. Spike complied and it budged with a satisfying 'pop'.
"Now focus on the moment you wish to revisit, and inhale the aroma of the bottle."
Spike remembered the moment he wanted to get to. It was in 1999, November. He had just returned from LA after missing out on the Gem of Amarra thanks to Angel and his cronies, well actually it was that bloody loony Marcus who ran off with it, but it was Angel's chums who interfered at the last minute, making him lose the ring. Spike shook his head and focused back on the moment. He had returned from LA, and was watching Buffy battle some feeble Vamps from a distance Spike guessed that not one of them was 5 years dead. They were all dust soon enough, but not before Buffy made with the funnies. Spike had comments of his own, but before he could finish he had been bagged and tagged by those army boys. Keeping the moment in his mind, he raised the tube to his nose, and inhaled.
"Now Drink" instructed Mack.
Spike downed the blood in one - and it was foul. Even pigs blood was better than this swill. Spike likened the experience to trying to drink a garden shed. He finally forced the fluid down his throat, and immediately it felt as if his intestines were on fire. His body began to fade. The basement around him began to fade, and reformed into an outside area at night.
+++ Sunnydale 1999
Spike watched as Buffy battled some rookie Vampires. They were small fry. Even one of her Slayerettes could take them out. She held a stake up to one.
"You know very well, you eat this late..." she said, as she plunged a stake into his heart. "you're gonna get heartburn. Get it? Heartburn?" his flesh burned away in a second, and his bones turned to ash. But the slayer seemed a little distant "That's it? That's all I get? One lame-ass vamp with no appreciation for my painstakingly thought out puns. I don't think the forces of darkness are even trying."
"Watch your mouth, little girl." Spike began out of earshot "You should know better than to tempt the Fates that way. 'Cause the Big Bad is." Spike heard a cracking sound, followed by a scream that sounded suspiciously like his own. He turned around to see a soldier laying unconscious, while he saw someone who looked very like him - from what he could remember - clutching his head. Another guard was moving in on his double, Spike was quicker, diving on him, and snapping his neck.
"Either you're me, or we shop at the same store. Unless you shop at the Dead Slayer Warehouse I'm guessing column A?"
+++ Will Spike manage to tell Spike what goes down? Will it make any difference? If it does, will it be in Spike's favour? Find out in the next instalment, meanwhile, feel free to R and R.