So, I'm back. Long-time no see. I haven't wrote anything in ages and published it as I haven't felt like it was good enough to post or I just haven't had any ideas/ inspiration to write again. I'm not in the swing of writing anymore but I saw a prompt on Tumblr from justsamantha19 and had to give it a go:

"I was wondering if it was possible for somebody to write a phanfic about Dan being demiromantic and realizing that he has feelings for Phil. Maybe Dan could think back of all the things he and Phil have done and at the end of it he realizes he has feelings for Phil and he tells Phil and they get together. Just a lot of fluff! Please! Thank You."

Hopefully my attempt at this is okay (although they'll probably never see this)

- OwlSKy15678


All These Happy Memories

Dan's POV

It's a night when the skies are dark and there are no sounds when the overthinking begins. Sometimes it can lead to new video ideas or something to discuss with Phil the next morning. Or the overthinking can lead to an existential crisis on the hall floor or crying in bed while trying to distract myself through Tumblr. This night my thoughts have wandered over to thinking about Phil.

I can remember when he first noticed me and replied to one of my tweets I felt like a 12 year old fangirl. I was so happy that he had finally noticed who I was. He kept replying to random tweets and YouTube comments I made before privately messaging me on Twitter. That day I screamed so loud my mum thought I was dying and she came running into my room. From then on we talked daily and traded Skype names. I knew this friendship was real when I saw his face on my laptop screen. I will always remember he gave a little wave and said 'Hi Dan'. I internally screamed before waving back then sorting out my hair. We stayed on Skype for 5 hours and the next day at school no one knew why I had come in so happy.

When he told me he'd booked me train tickets to Manchester so I could stay at his for the weekend I actually cried with happiness. He's already spoke to my parents and they were okay with it. I couldn't believe that I would actually be meeting Phil, the AmazingPhil, in real life. I will always remember the feeling of the first hug at the train station, when I finally knew that he was real and was here to stay. How we spent the day together wandering around Manchester with Phil excitedly telling me everything and anything and I just listened to his voice because it was even more beautiful in real life. How we sat in Starbucks near the window and I caught him staring at me and when he noticed me staring back he turned a faint shade of pink. How that night we shared his bed as I didn't want to be alone. I woke up to him wrapped around me with his mouth slightly open and his hair a mess. I knew from then on we'd be best friends forever.

Phil is not on fire seemed such a scary thing to do back then, when now it's one of the easiest videos for us to make. All I had to do was ask Phil some silly questions. I remember him grabbing a sharpie and drawing cat whiskers on my face before handing the pen to me so I could do the same to him. He kept laughing as it tickled his nose and I found it extremely cute, although I'd never tell him. Filming that video was one of the best moments of my life. I have every video that him and I have filmed together on a hard drive just in case YouTube gets shut down. I don't want to lose those memories.

I remember the time he first came around my house and my parents instantly liked him. They didn't care he was 4 years older than me, they were just happy I finally had someone to call my best friend. I was so lonely until Phil came along but he changed my world. I forced him to play guitar hero with me and he sucked but he laughed it off and said one day he would beat me (he never has). He stayed for a few days before leaving to go back home. My mum comforted me when I got back as she could tell my mood had instantly dropped.

When I got ill at Manchester University he stayed with me in the hospital and kept me company, even though I didn't talk much. He snuck me in McDonalds as the hospital food was crap. I woke up to him after my surgery playing with my hair and making sure it didn't land in my eyes.

He was there for me when I had my first existential crisis in his flat in Manchester. He sat down with me and just let me rant out to him. We then ate a lot of food and watched a movie. He kept his arm around me the whole time and wrapped me in a blanket when I fell asleep on his shoulder. He's always been there for me in the others to come. He sits on the floor with me and just lets me rant out and gives me words of comfort, gets me to sit up and we do something fun together to keep my mind off it.

He supported me when I came out as demiromantic to him. At first he was confused but I explained what it was and he smiled, gave me a hug and he said 'I'll never hate you Dan, no matter who you are'. I proceeded to joke about me being a murder and would he still like me then which ended in a tickle war.

When we decided to take up the job in BBC Radio 1 and I left University he was there to support me and help me make the right decisions. He calmed me down before the first radio show and helped me out when I forgot the words.

When we moved to London and started setting up our new home he comforted me when I got stressed and had to leave the flat for a while. When I came to him and said we should do something so we can be remembered forever he stopped scrolling through Twitter and paid full attention to what I had to say.

We created a book together and nicknamed it 'TABINOF'. I remember Phil's happy and excited face when the first ever copy came through in the post. He looked so adorable and I was so proud of us. Even when I mentioned us going on tour he disregarded his travel sickness so we could fill out one of my dreams. Before the first ever show he comforted me when I got scared that I'd forget one of the lines. After the final show in America he gave me a hug and just said in my ear 'we did it and I'm proud of you' before letting go.

I will always remember our amazing holidays, especially the one to Japan. Our hotel room had to single beds but Phil instantly pushed them together as he always wanted a 'mega bed'. If I woke up first I'd usually find us only using one of the beds as Phil had wrapped himself around me in his sleep. Those mornings were the best and Phil doesn't even know they happened. He only woke up once to me holding him tightly and gazing at him with the eyes that every in the fandom calls 'heart-eyes Howell'.

I'd be in such a different place if it wasn't for Phil. If he'd never got the black and white camera in the cereal box or never replied to me on Twitter I don't know where I'd be. I'd probably be a unhappy lawyer somewhere with no hope of a future. Phil is the star in my darkness and he's been there whenever I needed him, no matter what time of day. I've watched him drop everything he has been doing to come and help me with something. I never want to lose Phil, I need him in my life.

Then that one emotion comes flooding through my body as I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. I've been so blind all my life to this feeling. I love him. I love Phil Lester so fucking much. I suddenly feel lonely and lost. How the hell do you tell your best friend of 7 years you love him? I don't even know if he likes me back. What the hell do I do? I decide the best thing to do is roll out of bed (literally) and go and talk to Phil. I know he's awake, he's just re blogged something on Tumblr. I throw on a t-shirt and open my door, take a deep breath in and knock on Phil's bedroom door.

"Yeah?" I hear from the other side of the door.

"It's Dan you flop, can I come in?"

"Sure!" he says back. I push open to door and flop next to him on his bed, I've done this action so many times it feels natural. "What's up?" he asks.

"Just been thinking about a few things"

Phil shuts his laptop lid down and pushes it to the side then turns his head to face me. "Want to talk about it?" he asks then puts his hand on my shoulder.

I nod in response, how do I tell him this? What if he hates me after? "Um, you know how I'm demiromantic?" I say and watch him nod before continuing, "Well I have to er have feel a strong emotional connection to someone before I can say that I feel the romantic attration"

Phil looks at me confused, "I don't know where you are going with this"

I gulp and carry on, "Well I've been thinking and I feel that strong emotional connection now and I think I love them and I really want to tell them put I'm scared on what they'll say"

Phil pulls me into a hug then says quietly, "Just tell me who it is, we can figure it out together"

I pull him in closer and just whisper one word, "You"

Phil froze for a second before asking, "Are you joking or is this serious?"

I hesitate before answering but the truth is needed, I can't hide this. "It's the truth" I pause for a moment then carry on, "I suppose I've always loved you but never really gave it much thought, not until now anyway. I was just thinking of all the times we've spent together and what we've achieved and how different my life would be without you and bam it suddenly hit me"

I hear Phil crying slightly so I pull out of the hug and look at him, "You okay?"

He nods with a smile on his face. "This is probably the best news I've ever had in my life"

Now it's my turn to be confused. "I've loved you for so long now" he continues, "but I didn't want to say anything and make you feel uncomfortable"

My face splits into a massive grin, I look at him in the eyes then ask the all-important question, "Will you Philip Michael Lester be my boyfriend?"

Phil laughs slightly then says back, "Yes, I will be your boyfriend Daniel James Howell"

I gaze at him then whisper, "Can I kiss you?"

He nods and I break the gap between us. It's light and quick but amazing all the same. When we separate Phil smiles at me and then says, "You up for spending the night in your boyfriends bed?"

"Yes I am"

I didn't think that this day would end with me cuddled up next to my best friend and now boyfriend in his bed while he sleeps next to me. But this is perfect and it's how it should have always been. As I drift into sleep I have a smile on my face which I don't think will leave for many months.


Sorry the actual talking/getting together isn't written very well. I'm totally out of practise at writing fanfiction. I'm actually trying to make an attempt at getting back into it though.

-OwlSky15678