I can't believe I'm writing this. It's just so….. not me. The idea wouldn't stop bothering me so, here goes! Oh, yea, this is supposed to take place after Mello died. Sorry if I spoiled it for you. Lolz. Light and Near know each other and don't hate each other in this. Yaoi, obviously, contains MelloXNear and a bit of LXLight as well. Don't like, don't read.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of its characters.

What Is Love?

A solemn albino looked at the object glinting in his hands. Why the object was there, he wasn't quite sure yet. Looking around, he knew that there were cameras everywhere. Feeble thoughts were running through his mind while he observed the small, steel object. Would it hurt? How deep would he have to cut? How long would it take? Would he get caught? Such feeble thoughts for what he knew he was going to do. Now he knew, thought there was something he still didn't quite understand.

'What is love?' Love, that was a seemingly simple and unneeded emotion. Love, he presumed, was the reason he was doing this in the first place. Love, which was the one thing he underestimated. So what was love? Playing with the object he held, a small line of red appeared on his palm, running down his arm and staining his shirt. The cameras wouldn't be a problem. He had shut them down, and it would be some time before the guard on duty noticed that they were off.

Lingering thoughts played through his mind as he attempted to balance the object on the tip of his finger. More red liquid dribbled off the tip and fell to the floor. Emotionless eyes clouded over with regret, for once, at what he was about to do. Would it be worth it? The albino shook his head. Too many questions, not enough answers. The answer to this one was simple though. The world was attempting to go against him, so he would go against the world. The boy shook his head again and his clouded eyes became somewhat determined. If he planned on doing it, he knew it would have to be soon. If he was correct, the guard would be awake in about 10 minutes.

Heh, correct. It wasn't like he was ever wrong. But then again, it's not like it ever mattered before. Not to him, at least. Suddenly, a vision grasped him, one of that man, the one with those shockingly blue eyes, contrasted greatly with the shoulder length blond hair. Then, as soon as it came, it went. Whether or not it was an illusion, the albino boy could only guess. He could only think one thing. He was the reason this was being done in the first place. So he cursed those electric blue eyes, and he cursed every strand of that silky blond hair. He cursed at how he would allow something like that to have emotions.

Unintentionally, he found himself doing two things. One thing was reaching up to grab a strand of his curly white hair. The other thing he found himself doing was slowly standing up, and, in spite of his attempts to resist even thinking of him, walking over to the small table in the room. On the table, there sat a picture frame with a very important picture in it. The photo contained three people in it. One was his friend, a video game-obsessed redhead, smiling the largest smile anyone had ever seen. Another one was himself, looking void of any and every emotion. The third boy was a blond, and the most important because it was him. He was leaning against a tree and glaring at the albino.

Once looking at the photo, the albino boy instantly regretted it. He hated how those shockingly blue eyes and the silky blond hair could manipulate him however they wanted to. He hated that, mostly because he knew that from the moment they met, he had already begun to love him. He hadn't known what love was at the time though, so he ignored those feelings and shut himself away from the outside world. He found that solving blank puzzles calmed him, and he often found himself reaching to twirl his hair. He never resisted when the blond tried to cause him harm, despite the pleads to keep himself safe made by his redhead friend.

The thing that irked him the most, though it didn't often show, was that he knew that the blond hated him, and he hated himself for it. He knew why the blond hated him, and he never attempted to change it. Instead, he had accepted it, and he hated himself for it. He was first in all the exams. And he hated himself for it. Mostly because it made him mad, and a deserved beating for the albino came almost immediately after results were released.

Without thinking, he clenched his hands and winced when he felt the object move deeper into his skin. No need to prolong the moment any longer. The guard was going to wake up in about a moment either. His plan was full-proof. He would cut the vein in his wrist and let it bleed out. After cutting the wrist, he would jump from the roof of the building to be sure that he would be dead. After all, what was life without the blond? Again, he pressed against the knife and watched as the red liquid seethed through his white clothing. 'It's saddening really, an angel in disguise, tainted by its own blood. And, what's more, a devil in disguise caused it to taint itself. In the grand scheme of things, does it even matter whether you're an angel or devil?' The boy thought as he raised the dagger.

Drip

The pale boy was growing paler by the minute, if that was even possible. Hesitating only a moment, he firmly brought the knife down on his wrist again. His mind was made up, the path chosen. The albino stared as his blood spilt on the floor. Feeling dizzy and expecting what was about to happen next, the boy threw himself off the 20 story building. A crowd had already gathered at the base of the building, and gasped when they saw the boy fall.

As the small figure began to fall unconscious, he saw something that would've drew him insane, if he were still sane. All the people he assumed were dead appeared in front of him, while he was on the brink of death. The redhead looked at him sadly and shook his head. A raven-haired man who stood with a slouch held onto his boyfriend while a tear ran down his cheek. Said boyfriend, a brown-haired man, hugged the slightly taller (though he appeared shorter, due to his slouch) man. The last man there was the one the albino looked at last. A blond man watched the albino fall with a look of horror on his face. Unable to do anything, the albino and blond just stared at each other. The next thing the boy knew, everything had disappeared.

Smiling peacefully, he spoke a final statement, welcoming the sleep that would surely come. "Good-bye, Mello. See you on the other side."

-sniffles- I can't believe I wrote that! It was so sad, I seriously don't even know why I wrote that. I usually write humor stories and songfics! I seriously need to stop reading horror mangas. –sniffles some more- I would appreciate it if you reviewed, especially since I believe I have lost my mind. Seriously though, R&R plz.

(P.S. I would usually insert a smiley here, but this story doesn't deserve a smiley.)