This is yet another piece to add to my series. It follows after "Of Whispers and Turbolifts." Enjoy, review, and check out my other stories if you like!
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"Bones! Bones, wait!"
The doctor kept walking at a brisk pace and Jim had to break into a run after him down the corridor. "Bones, you haven't talked to me all week, c'mon, don't walk away from me. You've never done this."
McCoy jerked his arm away when Jim caught him. "Maybe I should've walked away from you more over the years," he snarled.
"Bones…"
"Jim, I have stood by you through a lot, but what you're doing….it's not okay."
Jim clenched his fists. "Who the hell are you to say?"
"Your friend."
"I don't need for you to say it's okay."
"Then why did you chase me down a corridor?"
Hurt flashed through Jim's eyes before the steel mask fell into place. "So this is how it's going to be between us?"
McCoy clamped his lips together before giving a brisk nod. "Yeah, I guess so."
Jim straightened into the officer he was and nodded. No longer did they face each other as friends, but as a captain and his CMO. "I need one of your staff for the landing party tomorrow. Send me a name no later than 1800 hours so I can submit the paperwork," he said formally, before walking away.
"Damn fool," McCoy growled, before stomping off to his own quarters.
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No one knew why, but everyone knew the air had chilled between Jim and McCoy. Their interactions were brief and frosty, and without the other's presence to balance out the other, each became almost unbearable. McCoy rarely left his office and Jim rarely left the bridge. It was as if they didn't know how to function without each other. Jim spent most of his shift sitting in his chair giving tense orders and McCoy was…well, McCoy. The bridge crew kept their heads down and the medical crew scurried out of the medical wing at the end of every shift as of they couldn't get away fast enough.
"It's a curious thing," Spock remarked one evening, pouring two cups of hot tea.
"What?" Nyota asked untucking her legs from beneath her. "I'm sorry, I was watching the constellations."
Spock raised his eyebrow as he carried the tray over to his couch. 'I was saying the situation between our captain and good doctor is quite a dilemma."
"Do Vulcans not have confrontations among friends?"
"Indeed. You know this; but not usually among friends such as Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy. Whatever happened was not trivial."
"It'll blow over. Like you said friends such as them won't let anything hang between them for too long," Nyota said, pouring honey into her cup.
Spock handed her a spoon. "I hope not. Tensions are expected on a space ship in such deep space as this but when it starts trickling into aspects of everyday efficiency, it becomes a concern. Especially among officers."
"Then they should be glad they have you to keep things running smoothly," Nyota praised him with a small smile.
Spock cocked his head to one side and placed a hand under her chin. "There's a smile. You've been unusually subdued lately. Usually you would be ranting about Kirk and McCoy fighting. Are you sure you are alright?"
Nyota smiled softly and grasped his hand. "I'm fine. I guess it's just throwing off everybody's moods." She shrugged. "Besides, I just feel more serene when I'm with you," she teased.
Spock squeezed her fingers. "It is affecting the crew. I've tried to speak with them both - "
Nyota nearly choked on the tea she had begun sipping. "You actually spoke to them? What did they say?"
"I just voiced my concerns and Kirk was simply very quiet…he looks exhausted. He's got more on his mind than fighting with McCoy. The doctor was disagreeable as expected." Spock rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "He called me a bat."
Nyota pursed her lips and watched the steam rise from her cup. Spock watched her and said lowly, "Many think that as Vulcans we have no perception of the emotions around us and that everything as such is "over our heads". That is false."
Nyota lifted her gaze and met his eyes.
"You can tell me anything, Nyota."
"Of course I can," she murmured. "But sometimes what's in a woman's heart and mind should remain there."
"That is fine," he reassured her. "As long as I know I own the woman's heart."
Nyota blinked. "You do." She withdrew her hand and kissed his lips. "I should go. I know you want to meditate tonight."
"You can stay," Spock said, gripping her hip and kneading it.
"I don't think that's what we need to tonight." She kissed him again and whispered in his ear, "I'll see you in the morning."
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As she expected, McCoy's light was still on in his office. Nyota managed to pass M'Benga unnoticed and knocked softly on the doctor's wall. McCoy's head snapped up and he immediately looked tired. He dropped his pen, sighed, and leaned back on his chair.
"You're here kind of late," Nyota said lightly, stepping in.
"Getting work done," McCoy grumbled shoving stacks of paperwork around on his desk. "And it's 6:30 in the morning back in Savannah. Jo starts back to school today; I wanted to see her before she went. I'm waiting for her to get up."
Nyota walked along the wall and fingered the pictures of his daughter he had hanging. "She's getting big. She's very pretty."
McCoy grunted. "She gets that from her mother."
"I see a lot of her in you," Nyota said smiling, looking at a photo of Joanna gripping the reins of a pony and giving the camera a gritted, determined smile. "She's certainly tenacious."
McCoy leaned back over his desk laced his fingers together. "I know there must be a reason you're here this late."
Nyota bit her lip and composed herself before turning to face him. "McCoy, I'm sorry," she said.
"Nyota…"
"Please," she interrupted holding out her hand. "I didn't mean for anybody to get hurt."
McCoy sighed and rubbed his eyes. "You two knew what you were doing."
Nyota clenched her jaw. "Do you always have to be so harsh?"
"I told Jim I wasn't going to tell him it's okay and the same goes for you…regardless of how bad you feel."
"I know it's not okay, McCoy."
"Then please, gods Nyota, end this."
She spun around and crossed her arms.
McCoy growled and slammed his hand on his desk. "You are a smart, beautiful woman! Act like it!" He sighed and stood and came around his desk and turned her around and gripped her arms. "I like you, Nyota. But neither of you are what the other needs."
"How do you know what I do or do not need?" Nyota snapped.
"There are a lot of women who would say that Jim isn't it," McCoy said wryly. He grew serious again. "Please, whatever rough patch you're having with Spock, leave Jim out of it. You'll be fine, but when this ends, Jim and Spock are going to be the ones hurt." He let her go and backed away. "Believe me; beautiful women usually leave broken men in their wake."
Nyota looked away and caught a glimpse of a smaller photo he kept on his desk. It must have been from the day Joanna was born because he was holding a small pink bundle and he looked so young. It wasn't because he actually was younger….he just looked happy. Like the weight of the world wasn't on his shoulders. "You look good," she remarked nodding towards it.
McCoy looked back at it and laid it down. "It was a different time."
Nyota smiled sadly and nodded. She started to walk away but turned back at the door. "I just came down here to tell you that I know he misses you," she whispered before disappearing.
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He should've have known, but still didn't expect it when Spock showed up and cleared his throat. McCoy raised his head and threw up his hands. "What am I, a therapist?"
Spock looked uncomfortable and clasped his hands behind his back. "Forgive me, doctor. But I know you are largely nocturnal, as am I."
"Like I said, you're a bat," McCoy said dismissively, as if that explained everything.
Spock cocked his head, amused. "You also have a general distaste for females - "
"Not really. I love women. Just not my ex-wife."
Spock nodded. "Of course. Well then, may I ask what you did to cope when you realized the woman you loved didn't love you?"
McCoy's shoulders slumped sympathetically. "She loves you." He sighed and pushed himself away from his desk. "But…." he opened the small cabinet underneath his desk. "Jim would jump into bed with the closest beautiful woman. I drink." He held up a bottle of bourbon. "Pull up a chair."
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Jim reclined on the bed and watched, mesmerized, when she let down her hair and shook it over her bare shoulders. Spock loved her hair as well but Jim would revel in the intimacy of it and touch it and pull it during sex in a way that didn't come naturally to Spock. He sat up behind her and kissed her shoulder. "You okay?"
"Yeah." Nyota clutched the sheets to her chest. "I've been thinking - "
Jim grabber her chin and kissed her fiercely. "No. No thinking," he whispered against her lips. He pulled her down against him. "No more thinking. I just want to lay here with you and not think for another six hours."
Nyota sighed and snuggled up against him. "We never expected it to be this hard, did we? I worked for so long for something so different than what I thought I was getting."
He stroked her hair. "I know a lot of people wouldn't think so, but I gave up too much for this to be half assed about it. This ship, this life …it has to be enough or everything will have been for nothing."
Nyota propped up on her elbow and traced the contours of his face with her fingertips. "You're going to be a great man, James T. Kirk."
"I plan on being a legend."
She grinned and kissed him but guilt lanced her heart and she flopped back onto her back and pressed a hand to her forehead. "What are we doing, Jim?"
He rolled on top of her. "Coping."
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