I'll love you, if you ain't got nobody to love
And I'll adore you, if there's no one to adore
And I'll show you, if there's no one to show
And I'll know you, if you want somebody to know
I knew I was late.
I didn't think it was going to be this bad though. I didn't know that when I walked through the front door, I would see and hear her crying her eyes out. It was life ruining to see her sitting at the dining room table by herself, with a set table for two with candles, a few vases of flowers and a now cold dish of lasagna.
The first step I took towards her, she stood up fast grabbing her empty plate and blowing the candles out by her. I stopped and watched her walk into the kitchen not even looking at me. That hurt bad. I walked quick into the kitchen and stopped in the doorway to see her leaning against the sink, sobbing. I put my head down, not knowing what to say to make her feel better. How would I ever make up for this? She could never forgive me. "I'm sorry." I lifted my head, hoping she heard me or at least cared. She didn't, instead she just sobbed out harder. She was doubling over and putting her forehead don the cool counter top clenching her fists. I took a few steps forward and gently reached out my hand, setting it gently on her lower back. She didn't even move. Just stayed doubled over, crying. "Babe please…I'm sorry." She stood up fast and turned. She looked in my eyes but then glanced around the kitchen, like she was looking for something. I saw her shake slightly, like a chill just ran up and down her back, but still she did not look at me, or even say anything to me. She pushed past, hard and fast, wiping her eyes out into the dining room where she blew out more candles and picked up the pan of lasagna and her empty wine glass.
"It's our 4th anniversary and not one call." I put my head down and heard her move around the table grabbing more things, just throwing them in the pan of lasagna. "A promise means nothing, if you don't put your entire faith in it. I am just so stupid to believe anything he has to say anymore. I'm not first to him anymore." I looked up, swallowing hard, knowing any minute she would kick me out. She had cleared up most of the table and as she walked by the corner a fork fell out of her hand and hit the vase of roses. It knocked over and smashed to the ground hard, shattering everywhere. "God dam-it…" She sighed setting everything she had just picked up, back on the table and bent down. She grabbed a few of the roses before she started crying again, falling to her butt and covering her mouth. I moved fast and kneeled next to her reaching out. I stopped however hearing the home phone ringing and sighed also sitting back. When she didn't make a move to get it, I stayed put as well and put my head in one of my hands.
"Sarah…it's-it's Logan. Are you there? Please pick up…it's about Kendall." I looked up fast to see her look up right at the bar where the phone was. "He's…he's not doing good…he was…he was in a car accident Sarah. A bad one." I also turned to the phone and slowly stood up. "He was hit head on by a drunk-drunk driver…he was just brought into the ER and were on the way with his mom. The nurse said he isn't in good shape and they don't know if he'll make it…please call me or pick up the phone. Sarah please…" I felt her rush past me and she grabbed the phone before he hung up.
"Logan? What…where is he…yeah-yeah…I know it. No I'll be okay to drive…no I promise Loges you don't have to send James." Three soft, but urgent knocks were heard at the door and I turned quick seeing it open. James came in, pale face, sweat pants and hair a mess. He had just been woken up. "He just got here…okay…" I turned back to see her hang up and run into his arms. He took her, holding her tight, breaking my heart. She sobbed out loud and I moved over quick, reaching out. I touched her shoulder, but my presence was ignored. Actually, it wasn't even noticed.
"Sarah?!" I got beside her and yelled, still getting no response. "Sarah, I'm right here! I'm okay! Please Sarah look at me!" James gently pushed her back and held her face.
"Let's get to the hospital. He's going to be okay Sarah." She sobbed out and let him lead her out. I followed fast noticing, when the door was half shut on me, I wasn't hurt. I just kind of walked through it. I ran in front of them and walked backwards staring at my best friend clutching onto my sobbing and hysterical girlfriend.
"James! I'm right here! Look at me!" He didn't. Because he couldn't even see me. He pressed the button for the elevator and the doors dinged open quick. I stepped in and again touched her, to let her know I was there, but she had no idea. "Sarah please…baby I'm right here." I didn't know I was crying until I felt the wetness on my chest. I looked down but instead of seeing a small wet spot on my chest I saw a big puddle of blood, growing bigger by the second. I touched it and sure enough, it was wet and fresh. I looked back up to see them already out of the elevator walking into the parking garage. I walked out; well stumbled out and watched them walk away.
My head was spinning. There was blood coming out of my chest onto my shirt, but I wasn't hurt. I put my palms on my forehead but moved them away quick. I looked down at them and saw blood on those too. I moved in front of the elevator's closed doors and saw my reflection. I was taken back.
Besides the blood on my chest, I had a gash on my head, spewing out blood as well. I had blood trickling out of my nose and my mouth and I could see it looked like my nose was broken. I put my hand son my head, and ran my fingers through them tugging gently. Without a warning or any sign, I fell to the ground hard, like I was knocked down by a huge fist. The back of my head smacked into the ground and I moved my hands up quick to hold the back of my head. I yelled out, very loud, expecting to hear my own voice echo, but nothing happened. I sat up trying to catch my breath but just like before, I was knocked into hard and thrown back onto the ground. My chest was raised and quickly slammed back down.
"Clear!" I could hear a strong and loud voice in the distance, but didn't see anyone around, or even coming close. Again my chest was raised and let down hard. "Clear!" I squeezed my eyes shut hard and tried moving my arms, but now, I couldn't even feel them. I even tried opening my eyes, but they wouldn't move. "I have a faint pulse…he's waking up." Slowly but surely my eyes opened, to see blinding white light. This was it. For sure, I knew I was dead. What else could explain the loud beeping noises and the burning light. "He's awake doctor! Someone get me an oxygen tank, he's struggling with his breathing." I blinked a couple times adjusting to the light and finally saw the people the voices were coming out of. Two doctors and a handful of nurses were surrounding my body. I raised a hand to try to stop the pounding in my head, but my arms put pressed back down lightly on the table I was on. "You're okay kid. You were in an accident. Do you remember?" I faintly shook my head and coughed out a little.
"Sarah…Sarah…I need to see Sarah…"
"I'm sorry kid…you'll have to wait…when need to put him under to get this glass out."
"Glass?" I managed to choke out another word before my chest started burning.
"You were thrown out of your windshield Kendall. A piece of glass got stuck in your chest. A few other pieces cut up your head, but you're going to be okay." I coughed again and fluttered my eyes shut. I felt a sharp stab in my arm and clenched my fists. "Relax Kendall…everything is okay."
"No…no it's-it's not." The doctor on my left looked down at me and I gasped out for air. "I need you to tell…tell Sarah, my girlfriend, I love her, and I'm so…sor…sorry." He nodded fast and looked across my body at a nurse. "I love her…and I'm sorry I was late." They all looked down at me, stopping what they were doing and my eyes shut. I heard one final loud beep before there was nothing.
Please tell me you can heal me
I'm expressing my love
Won't stop till I get you
I'm not letting up
I'm running to your heart
Like a kid in a store
Take every ounce of love
And beg you for more