I just got this idea in microeconomics today and decided to put my ideas down into a story before I forget, I also have another story about to be done as well.
I wouldn't call this a songfic but it is inspired by a song and has some of the lyrics in it. The song is Arms by Christina Perri, I feel like it fits Bechloe perfectly.
I also noticed how Beca titles her mixes so that will make an appearance in this story as well.
Also this is my first attempt at Fat Amy, she is kind of hard to do so don't be too disappointed.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Pitch Perfect, not the lyrics to this song, and I don't own a toaster either but that's beside the point.
It's Easier For You To Let Me Go
I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start
.
Chloe Beale and Beca Mitchell didn't meet on what would be considered normal standards, not technically anyway. The senior had barged into the brunette's shower, naked and proud. Despite the fact that the redhead had no idea of what personal boundaries were, the brunette still found herself drawn to the older girl. And soon she was singing just like the ginger had requested. Beca took in the girl that stood across from her. Chloe's confidence, her voice and most strikingly, her eyes. It was obvious at their first meeting that Beca was attracted to Chloe but there was no way she would let those feelings grow.
When the ginger had whispered to her that they were going to be fast friends Beca just played it off with sarcasm and a wink but the drunken comment had ignited something in the aloof girl. And surprisingly enough, the statement turned out to be true; the two did become friends, faster than the DJ would have ever thought. Their mutual love for music brought the seemingly opposite girls together until eventually they had a strong bond.
Aubrey had to admit that at first she felt as though she was losing her best friend to the rebel without a cause. But after some time passed, the blonde realized friendship was not what Chloe wanted from the sarcastic ear monstrosity girl. It seemed to be obvious to everyone, except Beca. The brunette seemed to be unaware of the very evident crush the redhead had on her.
It should have been obvious to the small DJ but she shrugged it off, telling herself that it was just Chloe being herself. They were best friends and that was all Beca would ever let them be. She had seen how love was torn apart so easily and how it affected the one with the broken heart. No, she wouldn't let herself fall for Chloe any more than she already had.
But nothing ever goes according to plan. She did fall for Chloe, harder than she ever would admit to herself. Sleep overs had become necessary due to how fast time would fly when the two were together. They would talk, watch random television shows and sometimes they would do their own thing. Their own thing consisted of Beca mixing music, only studying when Chloe literally pulled her away from her computer. Chloe would spend her time studying, sometimes writing a paper but mostly she found herself studying something much more complex than anything she could find in her textbooks. Icy blue eyes lingered on the brunette sitting in the swivel chair just a few short feet away.
It was an interesting phenomenon, like watching an animal in their natural habitat. For some reason the petite freshman commanded the senior's attention without even trying. Beca would sit, Indian style, hunched over her equipment, her bulky headphones covering her ears and Chloe found it endearing. Dark blue eyes would light up or darken depending on what the DJ was mixing. When she finally understood what a song needed, she would be quick to add it in and she would actually smile. Chloe watched the girl most of the time, only turning away when Beca would glance over or when the brunette would speak.
"Chloe, you're doing it again." Beca reminded, not even taking her eyes away from the monitor in front of her. It had become a regular occurrence, finding Chloe staring at her like she was the most interesting thing in the world. The redhead shook out of her stupor at the voice, her cheeks quickly becoming an adorable shade of pink.
"Doing what?" The question was spoken innocently enough, but they both knew what the younger girl had been referring to. Beca just gave her a look, one Chloe easily read. "Fine. I was just looking at you to see if you would ever touch the keyboard. I've never seen you use it." And with how often they were together, that was saying something.
"I don't use it too much. Only when I want to personalize the tracks and right now I don't want to." The brunette shrugged before clicking and dragging her mouse some more. She figured the senior would want to talk more about her music so she simply saved the file before turning her attention towards her closest friend.
"You know how to play?" Chloe asked, excited at the opportunity to learn more about the enigma known as Beca Mitchell. The brown haired nineteen year old nodded slightly before running her hand through her hair, it seemed to be a nervous habit. And she also only seemed to do it around Chloe.
"Yeah my mom knew how to play the piano and taught me, she gave me this at graduation. I started off with the classical pieces then I learned how to play more modern stuff." The redhead beamed, judging by the way Beca was acting no one knew she was a pianist, not even that Jesse kid. The redhead stood, strolling around until she was standing behind the DJ, her mouth getting closer to the brunette's ear. She swore the smaller girl had stopped breathing, but maybe that was just wishful thinking.
"Can you play Titanium?" Beca snorted, barely able to muffle her chuckles. The senior just pouted in response.
"That's more of a beat Chlo, not quite a piano piece." The brunette enlightened with a bit of a smirk. That little fact didn't stop her from turning her chair around, and turning on the electronic instrument. "It'll be slower, but it shouldn't be so bad." With that, the musician started to play, Chloe watching enthralled from the sidelines. The ginger didn't need to know that Beca had learned how to play this song on the piano specifically for her. It was on the thumb drive she had made specifically for the redhead. Giving her the USB would have been simpler but a live performance would seem more meaningful. And knowing Chloe, the more meaningful the better.
The song seemed to flow flawlessly, the brunette adding in the saved drum beats every once in a while but the song mostly comprised of her piano. After a while she began to sing, Chloe immediately joining her. When their song finally came to an end, the redhead threw herself on her friend's back, awkwardly hugging the shorter girl around the chair.
"That was so great! Why didn't you tell me you could play?" The DJ was thoroughly flustered after listening to the words of praise being thrown at her. Her ability to play wasn't something she often thought about so it never came up in conversation.
"Because we make music with our mouths." The brunette grinned, repeating one of the ginger's first sentences to her. Beca could feel her heart beginning to beat faster at the other girl's proximity, from the warmth she provided. "That's why I never thought to tell you guys." Chloe smiled brightly, remembering the reference. She grabbed the back of the DJ's chair and spun the smaller girl around until they were face to face. Beca unfolded her legs and leaned back in the chair, trying to distance herself from the object of her affections.
"Does anybody else have the privilege of knowing this secret talent of yours?" Beca scoffed at the question. There weren't many people she had to confide in or show her music to.
"Please, do you see anyone else in this room?" Light blue eyes glanced around, there was no Kimmy Jin. How the stoic Asian had so many friends was beyond Chloe, the girl wasn't exactly friendly. "Exactly. So it's just me and you. Oh and my mom too." Chloe's smile seemed to brighten if possible, it was a secret only she knew and that made her heart flutter. Despite living for twenty one years the redhead had never felt this way with anyone.
"Then I'll make sure it stays between us. Can I see how you mix things?" The brunette nodded slightly, surprised when the older girl plopped onto her lap. Beca could feel her face getting redder if that was even possible so she quickly spun the chair to show Chloe all the different tools she used to make songs. She specifically avoided the folder simply titled "Mash-ups 12.3+Ch." That was where she put the folder she had made for Chloe. Despite all these signs proving that she liked Chloe, Beca still denied it. She didn't want to love someone, especially when that person would never love her back.
They spent a few hours going through the basics, none of which Chloe would remember, before listening to a few of Beca's songs. By the time they were done, Beca realized it was well past midnight. She thought nothing of it when Chloe moved off her, until the redhead's hand danced along her shoulders in what Beca described as a flirtatious way. A shiver rolled up the younger girl's spine at the feeling before she quickly excused herself and ran off to get dressed in the bathroom.
By the time she came back, Chloe was already curled up in her bed, the soft blankets pulled up to her chin. Beca let herself smile, for being three years older, Chloe really looked younger when she was sleeping. The brunette shut off the lights before she slipped in next to the sleeping beauty, rolling away from the gorgeous girl. If she faced the redhead, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from holding onto the woman next to her. That was when she felt the ginger wrapping her arms around her waist. Beca kept her thoughts pessimistic, thinking that by morning surely Chloe would have let her go.
When that turned out to be false the next morning, Beca quickly threw herself out of the slumbering redhead's arms, ignoring the cold feeling she felt. Having Chloe against her was so natural, so comfortable and those thoughts were what caused the brunette to run off to the bathroom. She really had expected Chloe to have let her go, but if anything the senior's grip had only gotten tighter overnight.
In the following days, Beca was hot then cold towards Chloe. To be honest, the brunette didn't know how to act and would panic whenever her friend would get closer, but that didn't stop her from wanting Chloe closer.
The ginger seemed to be okay with the way Beca was acting, simply offering the girl an understanding smile every time the DJ distanced herself. Beca didn't want the understanding smile, she wanted Chloe to just get closer. To close the distance between them because she was too scared. After about a week of this behavior, Beca finally confronted Chloe after a Bellas rehearsal.
"Why are you okay with me being such a jackass towards you?" Beca questioned after Chloe offered her another one of those sympathetic looks. To say the ginger was surprised would be an understatement, she thought she was doing the right thing. The DJ always liked to have her space, that was one thing everyone knew about Beca so the older Bella was giving it to her.
"Because something's wrong with you that you obviously don't want to share." Beca had told Chloe all about her pet peeves when it came to Jesse, and that was why Chloe was okay with being pushed away. Where Jesse forced his presence, Chloe wouldn't. Beca was the type that needed time to get comfortable when it came to sharing secrets so until the day Beca came to her, Chloe would keep away.
"But doesn't it bother you?" Beca continued, sitting down on one of that many chairs. She seemed guilty, angrier at herself than Chloe was.
"I know it takes you time to open up." Beca eyed the ginger, her mind trying to decipher what the redhead was thinking. She could open up, she could finally let Chloe in. But in doing so, she could fall in love with the senior. Beca ignored the voice that told her she was already falling. That she had already fallen, that she fell when they first met.
Couldn't Chloe tell that Beca needed her? She had to be the one that pulled down her walls, just like the redhead did with the shower curtain. But at the same time the brunette was grateful that the redhead was so considerate. So many conflicting emotions.
"Look, whatever is wrong you can tell me." Chloe reassured before flashing that brilliant smile of hers. She sat across from the thoughtful girl before adding onto her statement. "Tell me whenever you're ready. Till then I'll wait. Just don't take too long. I'm not patient, and I know you're not the bad ass you act like." Had anyone else said that, Beca would have scowled or rolled her eyes and told tell them to kiss her ass, but Chloe was not like everyone and the brunette wasn't sure if she liked that or not.
"I-I'll tell you sometime, I promise. Just give me time, okay?" The ginger smiled that same smile she had all week. The one that made Beca's knees weak and the sides of her mouth tug up in a smile.
"I know I know, you have to get your walls down a little more but if I see them going back up, I'm not afraid to barge into your shower. You're hard to understand sometimes Becs." The brunette nodded, she had made herself distant and hard to read, it was the way she protected herself. It was the way she didn't fall in love.
"I know. All part of the charm right?" Chloe arched an eyebrow at the seemingly arrogant statement. She didn't know everything about Beca but she could tell when the freshman was feeling insecure.
"I love your charm." Deep ocean like eyes looked up, staring incredulously at the redhead. It wasn't something she had expected anyone to say but then again Chloe never did the expected.
"Oh you do?" Brown eyebrows shot up, the DJ smiling almost shyly. "I haven't even properly charmed you yet." The ginger grabbed the DJ's hand with a grin.
"You didn't have to." Warm fingers entwined with Beca's and the shorter girl could feel herself begin to panic. The touch was electric, almost like static running through her veins. She briefly wondered if Chloe had felt it. Was it a feeling people were supposed to get? "Are you okay? You look like you're freaking out about something." Light cerulean eyes looked at the contact they had, a red eyebrow quirking as she realized why Beca was panicking.
"No, I'm good." The brunette laughed unconvincingly, standing up and breaking Chloe's hold on her hand. She thought she had been sneaky about it but one look at Chloe's face made it obvious she was not as covert as she thought. "I have this mix I'm working on, do you wanna hear it?" The ginger stood up, looking disappointed for a split second before grinning.
"Of course, but first thing's first." Without any further warning, the brunette was pulled into a hug. It was warm and comforting, everything people are supposed to feel during a hug. But there was something else. With Chloe's lithe yet strong arms around her, she felt safe. Her chin pressed against the taller girl's shoulder, her nose taking in the ginger's fruity smell. It was a smell she had grown to love after their many sleep overs.
Chloe noticed the way the smaller girl began to sink into the embrace before returning it. With a smile the ginger squeezed the smaller girl closer to her before releasing her altogether. Beca frowned, she hadn't been ready to let go. Maybe that's how it would always be. Maybe Chloe would always be the first to let go. So Beca wouldn't hold onto her, that way the brunette wouldn't have to feel the sting of another loss.
The next time Beca ran away from the redhead it was obvious that it hurt. They had been getting along really well again, though Beca was still keeping her secret. The rebellious DJ had sung Bulletproof without Aubrey's permission during their performance and it had livened up their set. As they were walking off stage, Amy and Chloe were praising her for her improvisation skills and for choosing such an amazing song to add into the mix. That's when all hell broke loose. A very angry blonde stormed up to the group, blabbering about how wrong Beca was. Naturally, Chloe was the first to jump to the brunette's aid.
"Aubrey don't-" But the redhead's pleas went unsaid as Beca quickly cut her off. The DJ didn't want her help; nor did she want Chloe to get in trouble over her. She wasn't worth losing a best friend over and Aubrey, despite her many flaws, was a great best friend for the redhead. Maybe it was some strange combination of the two, but the brunette would forever regret what came out of her mouth next.
"No that's okay. You don't have to pretend like you're allowed to have a say in the group, right?" Chloe's face immediately fell and she looked around the group to avoid the dark eyes that had caused her so much pain. She was only trying to help.
"Your attitude sucks, you're a grade A pain in my ass and I know you're hooking up with Jesse." The brunette just shook her head in disbelief before throwing out her rebuttal. Jesse was quick to pop out of nowhere like he so often did, there to save the day.
"Whoa Aubrey we're not hooking up." The male only seemed to further the brunette's anger.
"Jesus Christ, this is perfect! Of course you're here right now. I don't need your help, okay?" Chloe closed her eyes, Beca didn't need her help either. It was clear as day that the DJ didn't need anyone. "Can you back off?" She was only talking to Jesse but the redhead couldn't help but feel like the words were also aimed at her. And it hurt more than the truth Beca had spoken a few seconds before. "If this is what I get for trying." Beca shrugged, trying to ignore the sting of guilt she was feeling after glancing at Chloe.
She didn't want to leave, not when it was so obvious she had hurt her closest friend. But what would happen if she stayed? The ginger would only get hurt more, that much was obvious so without another word Beca fled the arena, trying unsuccessfully to ignore the way her heart seemed to throb.
"Aubrey, it actually went really well." Despite how upset the brunette had made her, the redhead still tried to stand up for her favorite DJ after she had stormed out. She would always stand up for Beca.
"Chloe, just stop." And with that her best friend fled the stage as well, leaving her alone with all the Bellas. They didn't make it to the Finals. And after that performance, Beca never tried to talk to Chloe nor did Aubrey. So without a word to anyone, Chloe had her node removal surgery over spring break.
During break she had received a text from Aubrey about being in the Finals and she had never been more scared and excited. This meant she would have to tell them about her surgery but they also had a chance to redeem themselves. All they needed was help, more specifically they needed Beca. So that was the first person Chloe decided to text.
After the Bellas had their little secret sharing moment and the pool mash-up, they were walking through the campus. One by one, everyone left the group until only a few girls were left. Fat Amy, Beca, Chloe and Lilly. The silence was comfortable until finally Amy broke it.
"Well I think we crushed it like that light crushes the I in Pixar." Beca smiled at the reference, while Chloe and Lilly laughed. Maybe it would have been more amusing to the freshman if she wasn't more focused on the tension between her and Chloe.
"We crushed it like I crushed that girl in school that called me a psycho." Despite having proven perfectly capable of speaking at normal volumes, Lilly still spoke quietly. Chloe and Amy nodded while Beca glanced around, wondering if she had heard the silent girl correctly.
"Did you notice the sexual tension in the group?" Chloe snapped her head up, had she been that obvious? Beca's dark eyes widened as well, had Amy noticed that she was singing to Chloe during the mash-up? Lilly shook her head so the woman continued. "Black Beauty wants a turn with Stimulating Stace. And just so you all know, I knew she was a lesbian. Something about her just got in my face and grabbed me before screaming "LESBO!" It was such a surreal experience. Like something off of Paranormal Aussie-vity... You guys have probably never watched it but it was classic back in Tasmania." Beca was pretty sure there was no such movie but the blonde woman's description made everyone laugh. Lilly was the next to leave, mumbling something incoherently before taking off.
"I think that girl kills people in her free time." Beca spoke as the remaining three watched the Asian beatboxer make her way to her dorm.
"Well she is rather quiet. Like a mute Jew mime." Beca and Chloe both looked over at Amy before they continued on their walk. "Is everything okay with you two? Something is off about you little Miss Darkness, you too Sparkly Sunshine." When the duo didn't immediately answer Amy took the hint. "Oh well it's a good thing my dorm is all the way over there. I'll have to practice my vertical walking skills because I just made things aca-awkward." With that Amy was already moving towards her dorm at a fairly speedy walking pace. "See you yank aca-bitches later!"
"See ya." Beca muttered, practically drowned out by Chloe's enthusiastic goodbye. Blue met blue and both of the girl's frowned. There was no way to avoid this awkward confrontation. "Chloe… I'm sorry." The redhead began walking away, leaving the brunette to follow after her.
"For what?" If she played dumb then maybe Beca would let it go, Chloe didn't want to remember the night Beca had practically told her she didn't need her.
"For snapping at you, you were only trying to help and I went off on you to get back at Aubrey." That made Chloe freeze, Beca immediately running into the suddenly still figure's back.
"You don't need me to forgive you, do you?" The brunette rubbed her sore nose, taking a step back. Confusion was certainly written all over her face and she wanted the redhead to turn around so she could look into the taller girl's amazing crystal eyes. Perhaps then she could tell how the redhead was feeling.
"I do. You don't know how bad I do." But the ginger didn't say anything, she just stood there, her body still rigid. That's when Chloe did turn around, her eyes seemed brighter as they shone with unshed tears. "Chlo-"
"I gave you space, that's what you wanted, wasn't it? Jesse never did, and you hated that. So tell me what I did wrong Beca!" Chloe pleaded, her tears dangerously close to falling. The space between them seemed so large suddenly and Beca swallowed nervously.
"You never did anything wron-"
"Bullshit! I never pushed you to tell me anything but you still didn't want me to stick up for you, did you?" With that, the DJ's façade broke, her lips turning into a frown.
"I didn't, but only because Aubrey is your best friend and I'm me." Beca gestured to herself sadly, her hands falling lamely back to her sides as the weight of her admission hung in the air. "I didn't want you to lose her because of me, you deserve more than that."
"Did it ever cross your mind that that was my decision Beca? If I CHOOSE to stick up for you then I know the consequences. Tell me, how is my protecting you bad for you? Does it hurt your feelings or ruin your bad ass reputation? What the hell is it?" Chloe exclaimed, her tears gone and replaced by a stone hard glare. A look that Beca had thought Chloe was incapable of making.
"I didn't want you to see." Beca answered hesitantly, her eyes darting around everywhere Chloe was not. The shorter girl closed the remaining distance, her hand reaching out to grasp the other woman's.
"See what? Because all I saw was myself getting hurt. God, I tried to hold onto you and you didn't even try to hold me back, you just let me go. I let you take your time with whatever was bothering you but you never said anything. How am I supposed to know what you want if you never say anything?" The exact feeling she had been protecting herself from, she had unknowingly forced onto Chloe.
"I might be afraid of you because I could be falling for you. I might have fallen a long time ago so I kept a distance to make it go away. I just open up around you and I don't know why." Beca choked out, trying to ignore the way her vision was beginning to blur and how fast her heart was beating. Chloe's hand went completely lifeless in hers so Beca slowly brought it up to her mouth, pressing a chaste kiss against the back of it. "I'm so sorry Chlo, really. I-I've only ever wanted you." Beca dropped the senior's hand before looking over towards her dorms.
She wanted to run so badly, but where would that leave Chloe? She didn't want to hurt her, not again. She would take the pain this time because she loved Chloe that much. Enough to take the risk of losing it all if the redhead left her.
The ginger was speechless looking down at the freshman. This was the last thing she expected from the distant DJ, but she would be lying if she said she didn't want this to happen. Ever since she first heard Beca sing in the shower, she was drawn to the smaller girl. Since that point, her feelings had begun to grow into something akin to love.
"I-If you wanted me then why did you leave?" It was spoken softly, Chloe already bringing the brunette into a tender embrace. The fact that her hand still tingled from where Beca's lips had pressed against it was proof enough that the grumpy, loner DJ was the one for her.
"I was afraid." The words were mumbled into the taller senior's shoulder and she smiled. Beca wasn't the type to admit her fears, yet another wall Chloe had unwittingly broke down.
"I won't let you go, okay? I might have fallen a long time ago too. Can I try something?" At the brunette's nod, she pulled away, their eyes locking instantly. Beca could feel her body begin to shut down in panic but she reminded herself this was Chloe and Chloe wouldn't hurt her. The change in the atmosphere was tangible and in a move Beca didn't know she was capable of, she leaned up and pushed her lips against the taller Bella's.
Beca kissing her was exactly what Chloe had wanted and she responded just as softly. It was exactly like she imagined their first kiss would be. Impatient, simple, yet electrifying. In short it was perfect, everything about this moment was perfect. When the kiss ended, it was Beca who pulled Chloe into a hug and this time she wasn't letting Chloe go.