The hedgehog ran through the curtains of rain, his indigo quills dripping water, glued to his skull. Steady streams of tears were leaking from his unfocused emerald eyes, but were barely noticed thanks to the rivers of polluted rain water running down his entire shivering form.
His heart was throbbing and he could swear that it would burst soon out of the sheer, raw emotional pain he was going through at the moment. It felt like his heart was pierced by millions of sharp needles that were left in the freezer for years.

Sonic was rudely awoken by an unpleasant sound that was followed by a putrid, green colored stench. "Eww! Tails, why did you fart? Now I need to put a smell on myself," Were the words that quickly escaped Sonic's plump berry cheek mouth. It was the cheek on his Face. He turned his feet into a tire and let the wheel carry him to the bathroom.
Sonic could feel a poop trembling inside his poop pipe, eager to get out And see the wonders of the outside world. Ah, the naivete of young poop.
As he sat on the dirty toilet covered with wet dookie and and pee, Sonic violently pushed while sternly gripping on the poor sink. If the gloves haven't already grown in the tissue of his hands, everyone could see the color transition his knuckles went through from indigo to pristine.
"Ughhh!" Screeched the blue hedgehog as much as his nematode worm infested lungs allowed him. A big greasy doo-doo identical in color to it's owner's sweaty fur shot out of his wide poop pipe positioned just below his slender flatulence flue.
"Aaahhh" was Sonic's response to the events happening just a few moments ago. Nothing could beat the feeling after taking a big poop. His legs still shaky, he supported himself to stand up and turned on his heels to face his recent creation. He quietly observed it before diving his hand into the green toilet water laced with fluffy mold to pick the indigo doo-doo.
He gave it a gentle squeeze. It was loose and pasty if you'd exclude the small, hard chunks of bright yellow corn.
He yanked the dookie, turning it into two equally sized halves and slowly worked it all into his fur by moving his hands in circular motions.
"Did you put on your cologne yet, Sonic? I swear it takes you so long to do it every single time! I'd expect something else from the fastest being alive!" Suddenly nagged Sonic's friend Tails.
"I did put on my cologne you little mongrel, now shut up!" Screamed Sonic.
Tails was about to counter Sonic but their fight was interupted by a loud "Yo ho hoo~" in a gruff, old man voice.
Sonic quickly ran to the window which faced the direction the unpleasant noise Came from.
"Eggman! What are you doing here you old man-hag?!" Replied Sonic angrily, the eyelid above his conjoined eye twisted in such a way that showed Sonic was undergoing the emotion of pure rage and fury.
"Ah Sonic, don't you ever remember the fact that my true name Is Robotnik? You better call me by my true name because I am the principal of the Sonic And A Few Other Things High School Crossover Yaoi Fan Fic Romance Lemon High School which is the High School you And your Pals are currently attending?" Said Robotnik in a very disappointed manner, his own eyelids angrily tilting to the center of his face, covering his glasses. "Anyways, this was not the reason I came to your house. I have, you see, a very pesky problem with the Master Emerald. Come here Sonic, or you get detention!"
Sonic sighed and leaped from the window and landed right next to Sonic. Robotnik came from his eggshaped spaceship to step in front of Sonic. He heelturned and pulled his pants down. He was not wearing any panties.
Before Sonic was a giant butt. The cheeks looked like two hairy, wart-covered eggs. In the center was positioned the Master Emerald.
The hedgehog tried to pull the giant gem out, but it was slippery and there was nothing to grip on.
He grabbed a wart near the emerald and twisted it until a transparent yellow liquid started leaking. He pressed his lips on the burst wart and started sucking and exploring the inside of the wart with his tongue until he found a fleshy button and pressed it. He notes that it tasted like rotten yolk.
The Master Emerald gasped, but then eased as it felt the button pressed. Sonic tried tugging it again, but he sadly still could not pull it out.
He examined the Master Emerald for a bit until he found out that it had a vajayjayal sack on the bottom. Even against the protests of the Master Emerald, the hedgehog put his hand inside and fished for a vajayjay. He found it and put it out. He could see that the Master Emerald was crying and smirked.
Sonic put out his giant 10 feet long 5 feet wide hedgepeepee which looked like a culturist's sweaty leg with his foot covered in pink penile cheese. He lodged it inside the bright green cha-cha and activated the grappling hook on the tip of his sausagehog, making the tip extend in every direction by at least 1 foot. He walked back and pulled the Master Emerald with his muscular hogaling while Tails watched him in awe, dreaming that one day his dual foxpeepees would grow in the size of Sonic's hedgepeepee.
Suddenly, as Robotnik's flatulence flue got uncovered, it began to suck everything in like a black hole except it was green as farts are green, I guess.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Yelled Sonic. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Screamed Tails. "AAAEEEEIIIIAAAAAH! ! ! !" Screeched Sonic and Tails in unison rather loudly as they got sucked in. "Hahahahihihch" Giggled the smiling Robotnik as he felt the 2 animals entering his flatulence flue and slowly going through, touching and caressing every single vein and nerve that lined the walls of the tube, making him moan loudly like the people on these videos that my stupid, ugly father always watches.

The screen blacked out and the next scene began, shoving Sonic and Tails in a dark envirovement.
Sonic gently caressed the walls until he found the light switch and turned it on.
"We must be in Eggman's fart firkin." Smartly deducted Tails.
"Obviously, where else would we be!" Shouted Sonic at Tails even though he didn't originally know that they were inside a fart firkin but he was a coooool dude. He put his arm behind himself, strutted next to Tails and put the fingers on the hand on the arm together, turning his gloved hand into a fist. Then a he put the fist forward in a speed rivaling the maximum speed he can go to, effectively punching the 8 year old fox's mouth. It went all slow mo and Tails' mouth skin was trembling at the impact and shot back. Saliva mixed with blood escaped the orange animal's mouth, soon followed by a shrill, high pitched shriek.
"WaaaAAAah AAAAHHHH!"
"Shut up you dirty mongrel!" Ordered Sonic sternly just like my father.
"Yes... Sorry, master..." Quietly muttered the sad fox, his head hung low.
"Now find me a way out of here!" Said Sonic, laying on the soft, fart covered floor. He put the Master Emerald off sausagehog and put it into his skin pocket.
Tails found that the flatulence flue was blocked off by the hexagon thingie a bee built on it. It was probably Charmy because it was nothing but an obstacle - just like him. He came to the conclusion that they had to tickle Robotnik when he found a pristine feather lying on the floor. He put it in his hand and made a swift up and down motion scraping a wall.
An enormous "TOOOOT!" was heard a second before Sonic and Tails were in
an ENORMOUS current, the wind pushing them forward, breaking the hexagon thingy and making them go through the entire flatulence flue again.

They landed on a hard surface, the first sight they were met with was that of Eggman's gargantuan butt, and the first sound they were met with was that of cruel laughter.
"W-W-W-Wh-Whe-Where a-a-are w-w-w-we?" Stuttered Sonic and Tails in perfect unison, since their view was obscured by the giant rear that was possesed by none other than Robotnik.
"You're in the teacher introduction room. I am introducing new teachers, because I couldn't bear with being the only teacher/principal/janitor/other things people work as in schools in the original story. Probably the reason why nobody appreciated it..." Informed the 2 animals Robotnik, watching them sit down near the other students.
"The first teacher I would like to introduce is Denzel Crocker. The country he is from is Fairly-Oddparents-Land. He is like 53 if I remember correctly and his ear is on his neck. He is going to teach you Disco, Fairy-hunting and Mental disorders." Said Robotnik, revealing a tall box and opening it, which made Mr. Crocker jump out of it. "The first letter of fairy is F so I'm giving you all Fs." Stated Mr. Crocker.
"The second teacher I would like to introduce to you is Iyami. The country he is from is Osomatsu-land. He has big teeth and says zansu a lot. He is going to teach you English, Anime and Anatomy." Said Robotnik, revealing a tall L-shaped box with the smaller chunk of the L at the top, facing the students. Robotnik opened it, which made Iyami jump out of it. "Me wishes me went to Furrrancu instead of Sonic-Rand zansu zansu zansuyo."Stated Iyami.
"The third teacher I would like to introduce to you is Gruntilda Winkubunion. The country she is from is Banjo-Kazooie-Land. She is fat and green and rhymes. She is going to teach you Chemistry, Poetry and Pregnancy." Said Robotnik, revealing a wide box before opening it, making Gruntilda jump out of it.
"I surely in this school didn't want to teach,
my goal is now way farther to reach.
Everyone here is such an ugly, zit covered wimp,
The sight of your faces makes all the hot guys' wieners limp." Stated Gruntilda.
"The fourth teacher I would like introduce to you is Cosmo from Fairly-Oddparents-Land. I know we already have one teacher from that country but don't be racist. He's not a fairy and is very smart. He will teach you Smartness, Physics, Psychology and Math." Said Robotnik, revealing a really small box before opening it, making Cosmo fly out of it. "Uhh, where am I?" Stated Cosmo after 10 minutes of staring into the crowd of students.
"Those were all the teachers. We were supposed to have another 2 teachers who were called Ms. Bitters from Invader-Zim-Land and Al Bundy from Love-and-Marriage-Land but that would be way too many characters." Said Robotnik. "Now go into your classes."
"Psshht Sonic... Sonic!" Whispered Amy, trying to pick up Sonic's hedgehoggian attention.
"What is it?!" Snapped Sonic in a loud but whispering voice.
"You promised to take my virginity today..." Whined the pink hedgehogia in a demaning manner.
"Ugh.. Whatever. Let's go." Said the indigo hedgehog.
Sonic strutted into the bathroom while being closely followed by Amy. They arrived at the bathroom and went into one of the toilet stalls.
Sonic tied Amy's arms to the toilet with a few chains and took off her panties.
The place where the vajayjayal sack was supposed to be was empty and smooth like-a the surface of a giant ice cube but instead-a of water it was Shadow's period cutting blood as Amy is pink.
"Hmmm..." Hmmmed Sonic as he took a small knife out of his pocket and watched it's razor sharp surface glistening in the flickering light above. He grabbed Amy's balls, twisting them in such a way that would make his access to the soon-to-be vajayjayal sack easier.
He pressed the cold blade against the virginal block and slowly cut through it, tuning Amy's agonized screams out. He watched the neat unfolding of the raw, bloody skin revealing a fresh vajayjayal sack. It smelled of virginity.
He put his entire hand inside in the search of her cha-cha. When he found it, he grabbed it and yanked it out in one swift motion. It looked like a slowly budding flower - a rose, to be specific.
He put off his laced crimson panties and took his wienerhog out. Sweat was running down it's veiny surface, exploring every single hole and shape that made the hedgehog's hedgepeepee. It swayed like a gay guy trying to dance at a party in every single direction he turned.
"Ugh, look at all that pus coming out of your vajayjay Amy, I'll have to remove it before completing the removance of your virginal rights." Complained Sonic before taking his long, thorn-laced tongue out and lodging it inside the unsuspecting cha-cha.
He licked all the pus off, twirling and swirling his long tongue. I can't take it anymore. I really can't. I never had any friends in my whole life, it makes me so sad - seeing others chatting and having fun, helping eachother with their homework, hanging out. Instead I'm stuck here writing... This. I want to have friends - who doesn't? But they all just ignore me, never speak to me unless they want to make fun of me. God, isn't that just pathetic? Well, I do have one internet friend who talks to me once in a month or so as he has friends of his own... I suppose I should be happy for that, but still... There's a lump in my throat and tears forming in my eyes. At least they don't know I wrote this though, that would be really, really bad. I'm so sad and angry right now.
"Ugh, shut up already!" Shouted that ugly wartface, Sonic the hedgehog. At least I have a bigger word count now. I'd whine about my problems all night, but I have to go on.
Sonic pulled his repulsive tongue out, a thick line of pus still hanging from the tip of the mouth organ. He lapped it in his mouth like a dog drinking water.
"I think it's time to rightfully claim your virginity as my own. Tails took mine so I need a new one." Said Sonic idly.
"Eww, isn't Tails like 8? Sonic, are you a gay pedophile?" Suddently complained the pink hedgegirl.
In response, Sonic slammed his muscural wienerhog inside her vajayjay, making her yelp like an apple headed chihuaua that got a knife lodged inside it's stupidly oversized head. Apple headed chihuauas are so disgusting and repulsive, but fox headed chihuauas are ok, a bit cute even.
"Moan, moan." Stated Sonic as he pounded Amy's cha-cha with his mighty veiny hedgepeepee.
"Mo-aaAAAAANN" Said Amy as Sonic hit her G-spot. There was a lot of sweat running down her body like a salty waterfall and staining her dress.
Sonic felt like he really needed to pee. The urge became more and more intense with each second.
Sonic peed inside Amy. She wouldn't notice, right? Suddenly an even bigger urge hit the indigo hedgehog - he needed to take a poop. A really, really big one, at that. He knew he was inside a toilet stall but Amy was chained to it, covering it.
He instead changed his intestines' railways, switching the railroad of his poop pipe with the railroad of his wienerhog. Then he pushed and started the dookie train. He felt it going through his sausagehog, it was a bit painful but it brought some pleasure to him, I guess.
Suddenly the bell rung. "Oh no, I'm going to be late!" Screeched Sonic. "Heh, how could I forget the fact that I'm the fastest being alive?"
He pulled out his wienerhog and put it back inside his skin while turning his feet into an unicycle wheel and fastly going to his class. It was English class. He supposed it would take some time before the teacher arrived, as Dr. Eggman was always late.
He sat in a seat by the window in second back row. The person who sat next to him was Tails, in front of him usually sat Amy and Blaze, but Amy was missing. Behind him sat Knuckles all alone because he has no friends.
"Hey Sonic... Have you seen the Master Emerald? Someone has stolen it..." Started Knuckles.
"Yeah, I did. In fact I have it right here with me." Sonic says.
"Oh, could you pl-" "SHEEEEEEEEEH!" Knuckles was abruptly cut off by a very loud sound.
"Stop tarking you retharry rame imbecirres! Engrish crass arready started zansu! You shourd be thankfur that me rets you to be stirr arive zansu! " Yelled Iyami angrily in english, his giant teeth aggresivelly glistening.
Everyone either shut up or started talking in english, but quietly.
"Now hand me your homework with your ritrre groved gobrin hands zansu. Me knows it's stirr the homework from when Dr. Robotnik was your engrish teacher, but that doesn't make it not rear homework! If you eventuarry forgot which one of your birrions of homework assignments it is, it's the one about describing your best friend zansu." He continued, still in english. Every single student in the school put their arm up, revealing a sheet of paper with things written on it. I hate having to describe my best friend as homework. I described my dog Dizzy, and the teacher gave me a 5. This memory makes me sad every single time. It's not my fault that I have no human friends you jerk... I wish I could punch his stupid bald head.
Sonic searched for his homework inside his blue Sonic bag, but couldn't find it anywhere!
"Sonic, I lost my homework somewhere!" Screeched Tails loudly in english.
"Well that's your fault you filthy mongrel!" Shouted Sonic in reply in english.
"Sonic and Tairs, gimme your homework, zansu." Ordered Iyami in english, his small eyes menacingly staring at the 2 creatures before him.
"Uhhh, umm... Uh um, uhh." Said Sonic in english, "Umm... Uhh.. Uh, ummm..."
"Werr?" Snapped Iyami in english, his teeth impatiently trembling.
"I think I lost the homework inside Robotnik's fricking fart firkin!" Suddenly screamed Tails in english.
"Me wirr carr the principar then zansu! No such horribre swearing is arroved! Whire he's here, you courd arso take your homework from there!" Yelled Iyami in english before taking out his bootleg chinese iPhone 66s and dialing the number 667 665 669.
"Mr. Robotnik! Prease arrive at the engrish crass! Or erse!" Shouted Iyami into the phone because the lengh of his three teeth made the distance between his mouth and the phone very long, I guess. Maybe if he put the phone to his ear then he wouldn't have to do that, people in movies do that when they call someone.
The door suddenly opened, and none other than Robotnik was standing there." Search Eggman's fart firkin, then I'll give you the Master Emerald." Whispered the hedgehog.
"Hm... Well then," said Knuckles as he got up from his seat. Robotnik was already standing by the blackboard, pants down, his greasy butt shining in the light.
He reluctantly delved his fist through the flatulence flue, and began feeling for the homework inside the fart firkin. However, the spikes on his boxing gloves managed to dig through the soft, smelly tissue that surrounded the fart firkin as he was moving his hand inside, causing Robotnik to cry out in intense pain!
"Eugghhhh!" The fat egg screamed. The unpleasant shriek was soon followed by another sound.
"Pfffffffhhhtttt! Tooot!" Said the walrus man's fart firkin, as tons of crimson blood rushed out of it, making Knuckles' fist shot back. The liquid poured like a waterfall. The two papers were visible as they ran down the flow. It was pretty disgusting, if you'd ask me.
As Robotnik left angrily glaring at the echidna, Sonik picked the paper up and Tails picked his up. They both handed it to Iyami with their hands. The big toothed man looked at the paper.
"Perfect! Tairs, me means. Your paper is worth 1+++++++ zansu. You nerd." Stated Iyami in english yet again, "However Sonic's paper is horribre! Me wirr read this firthy paper in front of the entire crass zansu."
He stood up by his desk where everyone could see him. He cleared his throat in english.
"My best friend - by Sonic the Hedgehog.
My best friend has to be Tairs the Fox, even though he's ugry and a nerd. His muzzle rooks rike a giant pristine dookie that was jammed inside his giant head. His nose is identicar to the shiny, black rabbit poop I once saw in the schoor toiret. His fur is 100 year ord mustard in coror and bristry rike the fur of a rabid raccoon. His eyes rook sourress and dead, their hue is that of the skin of a dead drowned human body. In concrusion, Tairs is nothing but a firthy mongrer." Read Iyami aloud in english.
As Iyami read it, Sonic had a shocked expression on his face. How could the the teacher give him a 5 for his masterpiece? Meanwhile, Tails was looking at the floor sadly.
"You got a 5 and you deserved it! Horribre words rike dookie or poop are not arrowed. Me hopes you rearn from your mistakes." Screamed Iyami in english.
Horrible tears of betrayal streamed down the hedgehog's face. He ran out of the school, not looking at anyone.
The hedgehog ran through the curtains of rain, his indigo quills dripping water, glued to his skull. Steady streams of tears were leaking from his unfocused emerald eyes, but were barely noticed thanks to the rivers of polluted rain water running down his entire shivering form.
His heart was throbbing and he could swear that it would burst soon out of the sheer, raw emotional pain he was going through at the moment. It felt like his heart was pierced by millions of sharp needles that were left in the freezer for years.
He finally arrived home, soaked to bone and very sad.
"Sonic! Why are you home early you disgusting disappointment!" Screamed Sonic's mother. She looked like Sonic, only fatter. She also had long blonde hair, breasts and hips, unlike Sonic.
"Mother.. Leave me alone you bossy woman" Yelled Sonic back.
"That's no way to treat your biological mother young man!" Screeched Sonic's parent as she slapped his cheeks. All four of them.
Sonic ran up into his room. He sat on his bed. It was full of Tails' hairs, he was shedding a lot lately.
He looked at the mirror on his bedside table like a sad man on a sad object. His face was wet and his eyes puffy and red like period puffs. Right by his nose sat an enormous pimple. It's base was crimson like blood and at the tip it not-so-smoothly transformed into an odd, nauseating shade of yellow.
Sonic rubbed the pimple. It was like a small, air-filled baloon. He squeezed it, and the pus shot out like a gun bullet. It landed on the mirror's surface like a mashed potato.
Sonic stood up and sat by his computer. It was super modern and had a super big screen.
He started his favourite game, Team Fortress 2. He joined a random match and picked his class. He played as a scout with The Bitter Taste Of Defeat And Lime Flipped Trilby, The Bitter Taste Of Defeat And Lime Winter Fast Learner, The Bitter Taste Of Defeat And Lime Breakneck Baggies, Strange Specialised Killstreak Force of Nature, Strange Bonk and Strange Specialosed Killstreak Sandman.
He tried to kill as many people as possible but he only managed to kill one sniper without any hats.
'lol noob lol u suk LOL!' Said the sniper after Sonic killed him.
'ur rly bad at tf2 go cry to ure mom lol idiot LOL XD' He continued.
Sonic couldn't believe his eyes. Why was everyone always so mean to him? His old tears dried but soon new tears followed, thanks to the sniper.
'Y r u so mean to meeee I had a bed time befor but u only made it badder evil idiot DIE Ill hunt u down in ur sleep! and torture u and never kill u becas u will be tortured u evil EVIL mean person evil!' Typed Sonic furiously and waited for a response while his conjoined eye leaked flavourful tears. He lapped them up with his tongue.

A second passed.

Two seconds passed.

Three seconds passed.

Four seconds passed.

Five seconds passed.

'LOL U CANT EVEN THINK OF A RESPONSE LOOOL I ROASTED YOU LOL U FEAR ME THATS GOOD SINCE I WILL TORTURE YOU GOOOOOOD' Typed Sonic, but he soon got a reply.
Not in the form of text, but in the form of something else, I guess.
"VIRUS DOWNLOADING" Said Sonic's computer.
Sonic, however, didn't hear it. All of his concentration was directed at the chat.
He suddenly quit the game since he was mad.
He opened Roblox and played for a while on Adopt and Raise a Cute Baby. He made a family and had lots of bed fun with his girlfriend.
"VIRUS SUCCESFULY DOWNLOADED!" Said his computer.
Before Sonic's message '*roughly fondles with gf's juicy ##### while simultaneously furiously frenching her cherry-flavoured giant right ######, sucking out the generous amount of strawberry milk it leaks*' could show to his naked girlfriend, every program shut down. He was left looking at his plain wallpaper. No icons were visible.
The wallpaper suddenly changed to a giant neon red 'VIRUS' in front of neon lime green background. In the corner was a small red 'review this story please'.