I know there is a common conception that all players are arrogant bustards, who just want to get laid but what people don't realise is that there is often a reason if not many for why we are what we are.

Well all my issues stem from the one problem. A girl. We had been dating for four years and I believed that she loved me. One night, around one o'clock I got a phone call and in-between sobs she said that she had to talk to me, I knew something was wrong. When I arrived at her house she explains to me in way which she saw as tactful, that she has been unfaithful. My whole word began to spin. All the times she said that she loved me faded away into nothingness. A shiny venire to gloss over and cover the pit of lies she had created. It hurt, but what hurt more was the fact that it wasn't the first time and she had only felt obliged to tell me this once.

This devastated me so muck that pull away from the world, those I care about and those who care about me. On of these people was my sister. Nineteen months my junior, she was my best friend. Looking back now I realise that I should have listened to her, she is a very good judge of character and she never liked her. She made an effort for my sake to be nice and I really appreciated it. But all that changed when I told her about the earth shattering, life-changing event. I had had to fight for this girl, she came form a religious back ground and her mother didn't want her dating anyone outside the church but we eventually overcame that obstacle. I am proud to say that I can now see the way my sister viewed the whole event. My ex, Kate never sat well with my sister and she would often make comments about sex to my sisters lack of it, saying things like "one day you will learn." But what she didn't know was that when my sister had been abused and probably knew more about sex than her. Not wanting to relive her past she kept her thoughts to herself. That is until one day when she finally snapped, Kate had made her usual comment about sex, something like "when you are older you will know what I mean." My sister just turned around looked her straight in the eye and in a very calm voice told her that she knew more that she should. The look on Kates face was pure shock, but what my sister had said gave me the strength to finally see what was in front of me. Not my girlfriend, not my lover but a manipulative bitch that had been controlling my life from day one. She tightened her grip on my hand ready to make a rude remark but she had no back up, I unlaced our fingers and stood by my saviour. With a look if true disgust she turned and stalked off.

We had stayed together after her confession but not as a couple; we pretty much still had the same relationship without the title. But after that fateful day I began a downwards spiral, I became depressed I stoped eating and I lost a lot of weight. People saw the changes in me but I wouldn't listen, I pushed people away and became a recluse. I will be forever in my sisters debt, she saved my life, all I really wish now was that I was there when she needed saving but we can't change the past. Life goes on wether we want it to or not. Wether we choose to go with life, change and grow form our experiences is a different matter.

I am a player………………………..