A different take on the scene in the shooting range where Barney and Robin talk after he learns about her being hurt by him talking about his conquests.
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«So you're not upset?»
«Of course, I'm upset, Barney. Don't you see how constantly talking about your conquests makes me feel like I'm just another number to you?»
«What? You really think that?» Barney was baffled by her outburst.
«How can I not think that Barney?» Robin turned away from him again, trying to hide the tears that slipped down her face. She didn't want him to see her cry. To see how much of an affect he still had on her. If he could move on and forget about her, then she wanted to prove that she could as well.
She took a deep breath, collecting herself and dried the tears away with an angry flick of her hand. She wouldn't do this. She wouldn't let him effect her like this any more.
«But you're not just another number to me. You could never be just a number Robin!»
Robin turned around to look at him again. He had a pained expression on him face. As if her thinking this had actually physically hurt him.
«I fell in love with you Robin! And I know that we didn't work out, but those feelings didn't just go away. I love you!»
Robin felt tears start to slip down her face again. But this time she didn't bother to hide them from him. It didn't mater if he saw her cry. It didn't mater if he knew how she really felt. He loved her! He still loved her! Nothing else mattered, except for the realization that he still felt the same way that she did. He still loved her, and she still loved him. And knowing that was like being abel to breath again.
«I never meant to hurt you. I just…»
He looked down at his hands looking unsure of himself for a moment.
«I just thought that you knew that. That you knew that I loved you. That you were different.»
He looked around the room for a moment, clearly uncomfortable with how much he'd just reviled. She felt like she should give something back. He'd just bared his soul to her confessing that he loved her…
«I love you to Barney!»
His eyes shot back to hers, a small smile coming to his lips, and a glimmer of hope in his eyes. For a moment they just looked at each other, smiles on both their faces, enjoying the fact that they were still loved by the other.
«I guess it's just hard to remember that with all the girls, and the plays, and a superdate…»
«I would much rather be with you Robin! For all of that.»
He looked a little torn before going on. Like it was hard to get the words out.
«But I can't… We tried to be together, and it didn't work. We almost destroyed each other. And nothings changed. If we tried again now, I just think we would end up in the exact same place.»
And just like that some of the hope, some of the joy that had filed her when he told her he loved her, left her again.
«I know.»
He was right. Nothing had changed. They were still the same people. They would end up right back where they had been a couple of months ago.
They were quiet for a long time. Both of them just letting it sink in. They loved each other. But they couldn't be together. They couldn't go through that again. Losing each other ones was unbearable as it was. Doing it again would destroy them both.
Eventually Barney broke the silence again.
«So what are we going to do?»
«I guess we just have to go on… Like we have been. What else can we do?»
«But I don't want to hurt you Robin! I can't keep talking about these girls to you, and sleeping with other women if it is hurting you. I'll have to stop.»
«No Barney, you don't. That's part of who you are, and you don't have to change that for me. It's how you deal with things, and I know that.»
«You do?»
There was genuine surprise on his face, and it made Robin sad to think that her understanding this part of him would shock him like that. It sometimes made her angry to see the way the rest of the group treated Barney. Like they genuinely forgot that he had real feelings under the show that he put on. Like they really believed that all this talk of girls and the playbook, was something he loved.
«Well now I do. I always did I guess. I just… The thought that you didn't love me anymore… It had me confused.»
«You should never think that Robin! I can't imagine a time that I won't love you with everything that I've got.»
«Thank you Barney.»
She reached out a hand to him, and he took it in his giving it a firm squeeze. He smiled at her again and a thought popped in to her head, that there was something beautiful about this moment, however tragic there circumstances were right now.
There was a promise of some day in this. Some day they would be together again. Some day they would make it work. What ever happened in the future, they loved each other, and one day they would be together again. They just had to spend some more time apart. To get ready to be in a place were they could make it work.
And as she looked at Barney she knew that he knew this to. Even though no one said it, this was their promise to each other that they would keep loving each other. That one day they would be together again. That they belonged together.
«Wanna go see if the gang is still at MacLaren's?»
«Sure»
They waked out of the shooting range together, and Barney didn't let go of her hand until he had to in order to get in to the cab.
