Castiel was unsure of what to do with himself.
After they'd successfully transported the survivors of the apocalypse world to their own, Castiel had felt a little redundant. He'd tried talking with Jack, seeing as he looked more than a little upset about what had happened (even if Castiel didn't approve of Jack talking with Lucifer, and was definitely glad that the archangel was trapped in the other universe – not that Castiel would ever say that to Jack), but the Nephilim didn't want to talk about it. In fact, he didn't want to talk to Castiel at all, and the angel would be lying if he said that hadn't hurt, but he also knew that Jack just needed some time to get over it, so Castiel had let him be.
Castiel had tried giving Sam, Dean, and the others a hand with preparing beds for everyone, but once he realized that they were doing find on their own, he disappeared in the library as inconspicuously as he could manage. He knew it was a little selfish, but Castiel just couldn't face the suspicious, and sometimes outright hostile, looks some of the people were giving him. He understood their reasoning – he was an angel, after all. They had a very, very bad experience with his kind – hell, they had a bad experience with the alternative him.
That didn't make seeing those looks be directed at him any easier to bear. It also didn't help that Dean wasted no time offering Castiel's room to someone else. Okay, being bothered by that was outright irrational because he didn't need a room, much less sleep. These people were human and exhausted – they definitely needed every available bed, but…
Castiel shook his head as he continued flipping through the book he'd found that he'd thought could shine some light on how to go about defeating the alternative Michael. Deep down, Castiel somehow knew that there wouldn't be any useful information in it, or in any of the other books, but he had to try at least. If only to keep himself busy and away from being bored.
The next step would be looking through the various weapons the bunker had to offer, as per Sam's suggestion, but for now Castiel would stay in the library. Ever since they'd come back, there had been noise everywhere, and the amount of new people in a place the angel was so used to being mostly empty was making Castiel feel a bit claustrophobic.
The library had neither the noises, nor anyone else except for Castiel, so even if this endeavor turned out to be less than fruitful, Castiel could at least try to organize his thoughts.
First there was another death of Gabriel to think about. For some reason, this one felt final, and Castiel wasn't sure how to feel about it. He and Gabriel didn't exactly know each other well, far from it in fact. His death hit Castiel anyway, though, more than he'd expected. Maybe it was the fact that there was one less member of his species, one that could potentially help keep Heaven running.
Castiel also kept thinking about his alternative self. To think that the only thing that had kept him from becoming a monster were Dean and Sam…well, that was a rather scary thought. There was no doubt in Castiel's mind that this other version of him had been twisted by Naomi's brainwashing, and Heaven's reeducation. And his wings… If Castiel had thought his own wings were revolting, he wasn't sure what to call the two broken bones sticking out of his alternative self's back.
Castiel tried not to think about the similarities between them too much, but he just couldn't help but wonder if one day he would stop seeing torture as a sometimes necessary interrogation method and instead as more of a pastime. He certainly hoped that would never happen, but he also didn't feel like repeating what he'd done not even a day ago just in case.
He clearly had the potential to enjoy causing pain, and he'd already caused far too much of it.
Castiel sighed and forced himself to focus on the book again. It was going to be a long night.
To his utter surprise, at around 2 AM he was interrupted by two of the men they'd brought here. Castiel had been so lost in reading about angelic possession and correcting the many mistakes that were written about the topic, that he only noticed someone else was in the room when a hand slammed down on the table a few inches away from the book.
Castiel flinched a little in shock, and looked up, seeing a rather angry bald man glaring at him, and another one, a bit younger, behind the first one.
"Yes?" Castiel asked awkwardly, but also with a hint of annoyance, having no idea what else to say.
"You're Castiel?" the bald one asked, towering over the angel, who got up to level out the height difference a little. Unfortunately, both of the men were taller than him.
"Yes, I'm Castiel. Who are you?"
"The name's Brian," the bald man said, and then pointed behind him at the other one with his thumb, "that's Jeremy. And we'll be keeping a close eye on you, angel."
Castiel bristled at the condescending tone, and glared at the man. "May I ask why, exactly?" He knew these people didn't like him because he was an angel, but he hadn't expected them to be so direct with it.
"Charlie told us about you," Brian said, and then huffed out a humorless laugh. "Well, the other you, but far as I can tell, the only difference between our worlds is that here the Apocalypse didn't happen, so how different can you possibly be from him?"
While that was a question Castiel was trying to answer for himself, he wasn't about to agree with this man, who had just pretty much threatened him. "Well, for one, I don't have a strange accent."
"You think you're funny, don't you?" Jeremy said, advancing on Castiel, who didn't move an inch. "How do we know you're not just pretending you're this other Castiel? There was no one else that saw you kill the other you, was there?"
Was the man really suggesting that he was actually the alternative Castiel pretending to be the normal Castiel? "If that were true, why would I still be here?" Castiel made sure to convey how stupid Jeremy was being with his tone of voice.
"To gain our trust, maybe? To figure out who has the most intel, so you can kidnap and interrogate them, and then run back to Michael?" Brian continued, now standing directly in front of Castiel, who had to fight the urge not to take a step back. He wouldn't show weakness to these two humans.
"I assure you, I have no such intentions. Now, if you could kindly leave me be, so I can continue searching for a way to kill Michael and save your world…"
His only answer were Brian's hands fisting themselves in Castiel's trench coat, and pushing him to the table. Castiel glared at the man, gripping his forearms with the intention to shoving Brian away, but Jeremy's voice stopped him.
"Yeah, go on, hurt him. That's a good start to showing us what a good angel you are." Castiel wanted to snap back that what he had just said was ridiculous and hypocritical, but he found himself letting go of Brian's arms anyway. Seemingly pleased with this, Brian pushed Castiel back, making him lie down on the table.
"I…I won't hurt any of your people," said Castiel as Brian's hand enveloped his neck, and the angel let it, only grabbing at the hand, but not actually pulling it away.
"Yeah, you say that now," Jeremy said, folding his arms. "What about the last guy you tortured?"
How did they know about that? "It was necessary to find Charlie and Ketch," Castiel tried to defend himself.
"You sure didn't look too torn up about it, though," Brian commented. "Almost like you didn't mind torturing someone."
The grip on Castiel's throat tightened enough to make him choke, but a few seconds later he was released. He quickly stood up, taking a few steps back away from the two men.
"Stay away from our people, especially Charlie, got it?"
Castiel glared at Brian, but then gave a curt nod, and apparently satisfied, the two men left the library. Castiel rubbed his throat, wondering why he let them push him around like that. Trying not to hurt them was one thing, letting them strangle him on a table was another, so why had he acted like that?
With his mind full of new, unpleasant thoughts, Castiel sat down in front of the book again, and tried focusing on that instead while the threats echoed in his head.