Disclaimer: As everybody knows, I do not own the L&O franchise – Dick Wolf, genius that he is, does. I do not own the characters, nor do I own the actors playing them (unfortunately for me, fortunately for them).
Note to the reader: This is not canon Bobby. Way not canon.
No character has been harmed in the making of this fic.
De-deet! De-deet! De-deet!
Robert Goren's eyes snapped open. No preliminaries, no groaning, no yawn. He blinked a few times to clear his vision, then rolled over with the intention of reaching for the alarm clock. Which is about when he saw the woman lying next to him.
Goren instinctively jerked backwards, forgetting he was already close to the edge of the bed, and slid off the mattress onto the floor with a muffled yelp, giving himself the beginnings of a royal headache. He took less than two seconds to catch himself, then scrambled to his feet. She lay on her side, her back to him. Her very bare back to him. She had one of those curvaceous bodies, but small, and thick ink-black hair was spread out on the pillow beneath her head.
He tried to recall last night, but his memory was mostly foggy. Despite that, however, he knew what he must have done. It had to be. Distantly he wondered how he was going to explain this to her. Or to anyone else.
He glanced down at himself. There were a few scratches on his chest – he knew from experience that they were from fingernails – and what looked like light bruising on his arms. Goren lifted a hand to the back of his neck to ease the neckache that was already developing. This was a situation he was going to have to do a little better than talk his way out of. Tentatively, he reached across and prodded her bare shoulder. She arched, yawned slightly and rolled over onto her back.
Tremulously, Goren asked, "Barek?"
One eyelid opened a fraction, and then she rose up on her elbows, all gorgeously tumbling hair and sleepy dark eyes. "Goren?" Barek shook her head, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "How...what..." She paused. "Tell me I'm dreaming." He shook his head wordlessly. Barek's eyes widened ever so slightly. "Not dreaming." A shake of Goren's head. She whistled softly and sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest. "Tell me it's Sunday."
Now his eyes widened. "Monday." His gaze flicked to the window. "Sun's up."
She was already getting out of bed. "We will most definitely be talking about this later." In the doorway of his bedroom, the sheet knotted around herself, Barek made the most incongruous and amusing image. "I'm sure I'll enjoy your explanation of why exactly I happened to spend last night in your bed with no memory of how I got there." And Goren stared, openmouthed, as she proceeded to lock him out of his own bathroom.
Well, he thought ruefully, at least she's better behaved than Eames was.