A/N: This is my first Fanfiction so please be kind, and most importantly I would like to thank The Little Things In Life for pushing me to write this and helping me on it, and just as equally to Wootar16 for helping me with everything and rereading everything over and over again, so I dedicate my first story to you guys.
ALEX POV
The shooting has stopped for awhile now and I look at Sean, he gives me his boyish smile even after today .
"Sean, are you okay?" I ask while walking towards him.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." he says trying to hide his pain. "Let me just catch my breath. I think I cracked a rib."
"You need to go to medical." I tell him not giving him a choice.
"Are there even any medics left"
"One. She's looking over Ryan." I try to hide my emotions remembering what I did to Ryan. I sit down next to Sean and I decide I am going to tell him. "Sean there's something I need to tell you... about Ryan." I try to continue but he cuts me short.
"You're the one who shot him" he says knowing the answer as if he saw me shoot him.
"How did you know?" I say trying to keep the tears from falling.
"When I mentioned his name in the storage room," he takes a deep breath in." ...your reaction, I mean that's when I became certain you are not the Alex that I know."
He cups the side of my face the way he always does. "I didn't mean to shoot him." I say failing to keep my emotions in check."I-I didn't mean- I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I swear I didn't. Sean, you have to believe me." Now clearly tears were failing from my face, and one of his hands is on the back of my neck and the other moving my hair out of my face to behind my ear. "This whole time the thing that matters to me the most-"
"Is saving everyone, I know." he says while holding the side of my face.
"No, you don't know. I couldn't save my father. I-I couldn't save Larissa. And I couldn't save those girls that I left behind in the brothel." I'm stuttering and crying.
"Babe, what's done is done." he says with sympathy in his expressions." I just want my girl back" he practically begs. " now, help me get to medical."
We both get up to walk to medical when Sean says something about watching Monday night football to lighten the mood, then he falls on the ground, his head and neck resting on a fallen chair. I move his hand away from his shirt and find a bullet hole. My heart sank.
"Sean, Sean you got shot!" I look for an exit wound but I can't find one."I can't find an exit wound! Where is the blood?"
"Must be internal bleeding." he says in pain.
"What?" I ask already knowing what it is but prefer not to accept that it is internal bleeding.
"I've seen this before. The bullet gets lodged in there and nicks a major artery, there is nothing you can do." he says out of breath while I panic.
"No" I practically scream and beg tears rolling down my face, sounding as if I'm a child whining. "Somebody help!" I scream on the top of my lungs.
"Alex."-he holds on to my shoulders- "please promise me you'll find a way to get better."
"No, don't think about that now." I get up and yell for someone to help, again no answer. I walk back to Sean's side because I hear him say something.
"Alex, just promise me." he is not asking me, he is telling me.
"I promise." his face shows an abundance amount of pain. "Hey, Sean"- I am holding on to his collars shaking him to make him stay with me-"look, you were wrong before, when you said the thing that matter to me the most was saving everyone. You were wrong the thing that matters to me the most is you" he manages to cup the side of my face, the way he always does because he knows that makes me feel safe and looks at the shattered windows of Ops.
"Hey this where we first met." he manages to say.
I kiss him, my tears rolling down my face onto his. When I feel his hand fall from my face I check for his pulse and let out a cry when I cant feel anything. I kiss him on his cheek and forehead while running my hands through his hair.
I gasp for air and checked his pulse once again doubting everything that just happened."Nooo!"
All I want to be doing is to be sleeping in our bed in our apartment with Sean's arm protectively around me, with my head in the nook of his neck, our bodies entangled the way we were on the tiny recruit beds the day Sean came back. I start to walk to medical, I need something to take the pain away. All of the memories of our times together were flashing in my head, to the first time we met in Amanda's office, the time he told me to kiss him, the time I took care of him after he got shot, and even the time he said he loved me but then walked out. The worst part of all of this is that I never told him I love- loved him. Just as I open the pill bottle, wanting to put myself out of despair, I hear an all too familiar voice shouting my name over and over again...