disclaimer: if i really owned HP would i be posting a piece of fanfiction?
a/n: hello! this is me an my story! well, its a one-shot an its my first one so please be brutal in the reviews. if you like it, tell me. if you don;t, tell me anyways. story basicly includes a prank, the slytherins, evil laughter an, well, some literal meanings that yu shouldn't try at home. don forget to be brutal in reviewing!
ciao!
Peter: So what exactly are we doing here?
Sirius: exasperated sigh We've been through this a thousand times!
James: Well, you know how Wormy can be sometimes…
Peter: I resent that!
Remus: annoyed glance Look, we're going to go through this door and into the Slytherin common room-
Peter: nod mmhmm.
Remus: And we're going to put flea powder into the cushions.
Peter: That's it! shocked look
James: Of course that's not it!
Remus: Keep your voice down! anxious look around
Peter: Then what makes this a good prank? I mean, what's the difference between this one and all the other pranks throughout this year?
Sirius: This prank is different because a) it's 2 pranks for the price of one and b) it'll wipe the smug smile of greasy Snivelus' face. Low chuckling
Remus: Padfoot, shut up. We're going inside and I really don't need the whole of the Slytherin House breathing down our necks though we have quite a few thanks to our fraternization with James. Isn't that right?
James: Don't hate. coy glance
Peter: So when are we going to go in? nervous shuffle of feet
Sirius: I don't know. Prongsy hasn't told us how to actually get into 'Horrid Chamber of Doom'
James: Wow did you come up with that all by yourself? mock surprise
Sirius: Yeah. proud smile
Remus: Sure he did. skeptical glance
Peter: Can we please just get this over with!
James: All right. Don't get your knickers in a twist! Time to get this show on the road before that annoying Head Boy catches us. I can't stand him. muttered incantation
All enter into the Slytherin common room. All, but Pete who is on guard duty but soon goes to sleep, takes out little brown paper bags and dispense light green powder onto the cushions at the center of the room and in front of the fire. Remus, Sirius, and James walk into boy's dorm while Pete sleeps. They come back out after a few minutes with smug smiles and wake up Peter. They all leave to go back to Gryffindor tower and wait for breakfast and the second part of their plot.
Sirius: You're saying that only because he's going out with dear Lilykins.
James: So what? He's only in it for a more physical reason, if you know what I mean. nudge, nudge
Peter: OUCH! Don't elbow me that hard. rubs side
Remus: Oh, please.
Sirius: Yeah cause then we'll all be walking in piss from here until our common room.
James: Padfoot, stop bagging on Wormtail. He knows he has a problem. But then again, admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.
Peter: Sure, everyone gang up on the fat one. annoyed scowl
James: see, he's already taking your advice.
Remus: I'm surrounded by idiots. hopeless shake of head
Sirius: Yeah, but you love us for it.
Remus: Padfoot, stop skipping.
Sirius: I can't help it. I keep imagining we're going to find 'sweet, I'll-never-do-anything-against-the-rules' Lily snogging that head boy inside the common room when she's supposed to be setting a good example for the midgets andthen seeing the murderous look on our Prongsy's face.
James: Sirius, if you make another comment implying that I'm in love with Lily small smile at her name you will not be singing the same tune for the rest of the way back to the common room.
Sirius: 'Lily and James, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S—'
James: Moony, how would you describe the lighting in this extremely dark corridor?
Remus: Uh… hesitant Pitch black?
James: Ok!
Sirius:'—I-N-G first comes---- what the f---!
Peter: OUCH!
Sirius: Whachu do dat fo? voice coming from Peter's stomach
Remus: To get you to shut the bloody hell up. By the way, I like the way you think.
James: Thank you. You have to admit he was really starting to annoy.
Remus: whispering That's why I always have a bar of spiked chocolate.
James: Spiked with what?
Remus: Sleeping draft. Very mild.
James: Nice.
Enter Gryffindor common room. Thankfully, Lily wasn't snogging anyone. All four collapse into couches, armchairs, and Sirius on the floor. They don't wait long. At 6 am, boys troop out of common room, all tired and heavy eyes but still excited.
Sirius: Finally! yawn
Peter: So what exactly yawn are we going to do?
Remus: Well, we're going to put a little bomb in the Slytherin's food-
James: Where, Lucius, Snape, Bellatrix, Narcissa, and the rest of the motley crew sit to be exact.
Sirius: And we're going to put a temporary sticking charm on the food so they have to walk around with food all over them for the –
Remus: Shh! I think I hear someone.
Sirius: whips out Marauder's Map and whispers I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good. checks map It's clear in front but old Grotis is coming from the right.
Boys break into a silent run. They turn the corner just in time.
Peter: That was close.
Remus: Let's get to the kitchens and fast.
Turn another corner and walk up to painting of fruit bowl. Sirius pinches the apple. There are little threads were they have pinched too much. Enter kitchen. Avoid stepping on the house elves. They plant the bomb and perform charm.
Sirius: evil laugh This is going to be so good. more laughter
James: Padfoot, don't piss yourself. low chuckle
Boys leave kitchens. Sirius is still laughing.
Remus: very low mutter can't keep a secret, can he?
James: nope.
Enter great hall. Boys take usual seats and wait for the show. Sirius is still laughing.
James: low growl Sirius, stop behaving like a baboon or I'll shave your hair off.
Sirius: whimpers and stops laughing
Remus: You're learning—James!
James: staring at Lily as she enters Great Hall. Doesn't she look amazing?
Remus: Oh, boy. shakes head sadly. looks up and is instantly happier Look guys, the models have arrived.
Sirius: Looks up and starts laughing again
James: Yes. wide, evil smile
Peter: What the? You guys did that? stares stunned at Malfoy and Snape
Malfoy and Snape enter scratching at theirmatching pink robes. Malfoy's have little kiss marks on it in red and Snape has little red hearts. Malfoy and Snape realize everyone is looking at them. They look to their robes and scream like little girls. Every other Slytherin comes into hall and openly laugh at their predicament. They try to take the robes off but can't because the robes are stuck to their clothes.
Peter: When you guys do that?
Sirius: Oh Peter, when we stationed you as lookout, you fell asleep. starts to laugh evilly again
James: So we went into the boys dorm and messed a little with their robes starts to openly laugh too
Peter: Even you, Remus?
Remus: Yeah, I couldn't help myself. small chuckle
Suddenly there was a loud BANG! and they all look round to find their targets all full of food.
Sirius: Cheers to a happy year at Hogwarts! starts stuffing his face with food