On a fine spring afternoon, the sun shone down upon a quaint cottage on the border of the forest near Hyrule Castle. Inside dwelled the Hero of Worlds, Link, who fought across dimensions through time to save his home. His bravery and strength belied his humility, and his humility belied…
ZZZZZZzzzzzz…
His laziness.
For all his daring feats and heroism, there was nothing Link enjoyed more than to relax in his bed and sleep the day away. Naturally, every hero was entitled to a vice, but today was a bad day to indulge in that habit.
Elsewhere, in the courtyard of Hyrule Castle, several close friends gathered for a special celebration, including Princess Midna of the Twilight Realm, Princess Ruto of Zora's Domain, Princess Zelda of Hyrule, Impa of the Sheikah, Princess Agitha of the Insect Kingdom, Fi of the Sacred Realm, and Darunia of Goron City. Ganondorf was invited but respectfully declined (read: tried to light the messenger's clothes on fire) and Lana was busy being somewhere else. There was only one thing missing.
"Where the heck is Link?" cried Midna, slamming her fist on the picnic table laden with gifts for the missing hero.
Zelda sighed. "Calm yourself, Midna. I am sure he is doing something very impor-"
"He is asleep," said Fi, her metallic skin shining in the sunlight. "I sense his alpha waves, as you predicted, Your Grace."
Zelda flinched. "Thank you, Fi."
"Well, what will we do?" asked Ruto. "We can't let him miss his own birthday party."
"He will not miss it," said Zelda, a secret smile on her face. "I sent him an early birthday present, with Fi's help."
Doh Doo-Doo-Doo Do-Do Doh!
Link's brow furrowed at the musical tone. It sounded so familiar even in his sleep, reminding him of his adventure across time and space. Where had he heard it before?
When he heard the tone again, one eye squinted open and saw Fi standing beside him… on his pillow. She stood barely five inches tall and her head seemed slightly out of proportion to the rest of her body, but it was definitely Fi.
"It is now 4:15 PM, Master," said the little Fi, her voice slightly higher pitched than the full-sized version. "You are late for the event: Birthday Party, as organized by Her Grace Princess Zelda. The weather is a comfortable 74 degrees with less than 10% chance of rain, allowing for quick and detour-less travel. Would you like me to set up a route?"
Link blinked, and then blinked again. In his sleep-addled state, half of what the tiny Fi said went right over his head. He sat up, rubbed his eyes, and scratched the back of his head. A weight settled on his lap and he saw little Fi standing on his blanketed thigh looking up at him.
"I have a message from Her Grace Princess Zelda, would you like me to play it for you, Master?"
Link gave her a tired smile and nodded.
"Are you awake yet, sleepy head?" said Fi in Zelda's voice as she struck a ballerina pose. Link's eyes widened and as little Fi carried on, she danced in beat with the words. "I see you've received the first of several birthday gifts. Meet Pocket Fi, a special creation devised by the real Fi and myself. Link, you're a hero and we are eternally grateful for your aid in the Dimension War, but you should not be sleeping so often.
"I imagine that as this message plays, I and the others are waiting at Hyrule Castle for you to arrive at last despite my multiple reminders of the party, most recently yesterday." Pocket Fi twirled into the air and booped Link's nose with the flap of her sleeve. "Pocket Fi is going to help you keep your life organized and efficient so you don't miss out on other fun things. She comes with a play ball and three custom outfits, but you'll have to come here to get them and the rest of your presents—"
"Hey, are you making a message to Link?" Midna's voice cut in, causing Pocket Fi to jerk to the left. "Hiii, Liiink! Eee hee hee!"
"Midna, please—"
"I'm gonna eat all your caaake! C'mon, you lazy bum, it's no fun without my little pet."
"He's not the same Link as the one from your era, Midna."
"Oh, blah blah blah. Get over here, Link, so we can take that stick out of Zelda's—"
The message ended and Pocket Fi settled down on the blanket. "Master, current estimations give a travel time of 17 minutes, depending on rate of speed and possible detours. I recommend we leave as soon as possible."
Link ruffled his bedhead before giving Pocket Fi a smile. He held his hand palm up and she stepped onto it, and then he rose from his bed to get washed up.
Dressed in casual clothes—as the Hero's tunic was a bit too formal for a birthday party, even his own—Link set off towards the castle with Pocket Fi nestled comfortably in his hair.
"While we are walking, I can tell you some of my functions, Master." Link nodded, bobbing Pocket Fi slightly. She floated off his head. "I am capable of setting reminders and alarms for you, organizing a calendar for events and special occasions, and serving as mental relief during times of high stress and/or fatigue." She nuzzled against his face for a moment, her body warm to the touch.
"I can calculate large and complicated mathematical problems, store messages in my memory banks, and transform into a miniature Goddess Sword for you to open letters or impale enemies." Link's step faltered for a moment. "Most effective areas would be the jugular vein and the ocular cavity."
Pocket Fi landed on Link's shoulder. "I also have limited Dowsing ability and can set various items to be dowsed such as keys, clothes, items, and other people in the event of a lost person. For example, there is a bushel of apples approximately 2.384 meters from your location if you are hungry."
Link shook his head with a smile and reached over to nudge his finger gently against Pocket Fi's head. "Ah yes, if you wish to show appreciation for my service, Master, you may pet me on the head, play with me, and allow me to be the best assistant I can be."
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
Midna and Ruto wheeled out the cake, a four-layer affair decorated with themes from each dimension: Twilight, Fire, Water, Shadow, Light, and Insect (just candy butterflies). Cutting out a slice of Twilight cake, Midna served Link first with a cheeky grin, only for Pocket Fi to swoop down and take a tiny bite of the cake.
"Cake icing, frosting, cooked batter, chocolate flavoring, vanilla extract, and citrus juice," she said. "There are no poisons, Master. It is safe to eat." Link smiled and stroked her head with his finger.
Zelda chuckled awkwardly and rubbed her shoulder. "Some settings may need to be adjusted."
"Who is this adorable little thing?" Midna scooped up Pocket Fi and lightly stroked her head and belly. "Ohhh, you are just so cuuute! Can I have one?"
"Princess Midna," said the little spirit, "I am Pocket Fi, created by Her Grace Princess Zelda and Creator Fi, designed to assist Master Link in his daily life. I am afraid that the materials used to construct my body were very rare and unlikely to be found again."
Midna pouted and set her down on the table. "Well, what kinds of things can you do? Like, fun stuff, not boring normal Fi stuff."
Pocket Fi floated up in front of Midna's nose. "I. Can. Dance!" Music began to play from the crystal on her chest, and the second Darunia heard it, he clapped his chest and samba'd over to them.
"What a hot beat!" he cried, twisting his Goron hips. His girth belied his agility as he spun and stamped and hopped like mad, gathering the others around to watch the festivities.
Below him, little Pocket Fi danced with the music she played. Her feet skipped as she twirled around, eager to show her Master her worth. With Fi's fine-tuning, Pocket Fi was just as good a dancer as her creator. Her body bounced and bobbed to the tune of the forest, and then Darunia's massive Goron foot came down on top of her. The music ceased.
"AHOO!" Darunia hopped off, clutching his foot, and fell to the ground beside the small crater containing Pocket Fi. Link ran up to her while Zelda and Ruto tended to Darunia. Kneeling beside the crater, Link scooped up Pocket Fi and stroked her head, his eyes wide and mouth curved down.
Pocket Fi stood on his palm and brushed herself off. "I am unharmed, Master. My body is composed of a terillium-carbonic alloy, almost as strong as the metal used to forge the Master Sword."
"It shows," grumbled Darunia, nursing his injured foot.
Pocket Fi flew over to the slightly dented sole of Darunia's foot and gave it a little kiss. "There is a 100% chance you will feel better now."
"It… well, it doesn't hurt as much," said Darunia.
She returned to Link and settled down in his hair. "Master, I am capable of healing minor scrapes and scratches in the event of injury. Please feel free to call upon me should you be in need of medical attention."
Link reached up and stroked Pocket Fi's head, his face bright and beaming.
Fi walked up and gave Link a stiff hug. "Happy Birthday, Link. I trust you are enjoying my gift." Link nodded and Fi nodded in turn. "I expected as much. Come, I will show you Pocket Fi's charger." She led the way to the large stack of gifts, picking up a smaller box decorated with blue paper and a purple ribbon wrapped neatly around it.
Opening the box, Fi pulled out a miniature Pedestal of Time, a small rubber ball, and three outfits; a sweater and wool cap, a Crimson Loftwing, and a Yellow Long-Eared Rabbit. Pocket Fi hopped from Link's head and scooped up the ball in her sleeve arms, bouncing it up and down.
"To change the outfit of Pocket Fi, press the crystal on her chest to eject her current outfit and then carefully pull on the desired outfit, clasping it around her crystal."
Link smiled but then frowned, scrunching his face. He held up the Loftwing outfit and tilted his head. "You would like more outfits?" He nodded. "Pocket Fi will be able to teach you how to craft new outfits to suit your preferences, Link. You may also come to Her Grace Princess Zelda or myself if you wish to make something quickly."
Link grinned and patted Pocket Fi's head. She looked up at him and raised her ball, taking a step towards him. With a contented chuckle, he took the ball between two fingers and tossed it to the opposite end of the table. Pocket Fi waddled after it, spotting the rubber ball behind a black box wrapped in teal ribbons.
"Oh, that's my present," said Midna. She gleefully tore open the wrapping paper and held up a paper-thin black square. "Ta-da!"
Ball clutched in her arms, Pocket Fi floated up and inspected the square at every angle. "I sense magic similar to what was experienced during the Era of Twilight, specifically the warp vortexes that allowed point-to-point transportation."
Midna nodded. "Yep, it's a mini warp portal! I made them all the time back in the day. All you gotta do is put it on the floor somewhere out of the way and then you just step inside to be whisked away to wherever you wanna go… Well, not wherever. You have to think of the exact specific place first, but other than that, the sky is the limit!"
Pocket Fi tilted her head. "How would Master Link return from his destination?"
"…" Midna's cheeks turned dark blue. "Okay, well, I guess I never thought of that. I'll think of something."
"Would it be possible for you to create a secondary portal, one that is created upon arrival at the chosen destination but dormant until stepped inside?"
Midna tilted her head. "Yeah, yeah, I think that'll work." She grinned and pet Pocket Fi's head. "Way to think outside the box, cutie."
"My designated name is Pocket Fi unless Master Link wishes to change it." She turned and looked at him. "Would you like to change my designated name, Master?" Link shook his head as he took a bite of cake, humming at the wondrous flavor. "Understood, Master. I recommend you focus on enjoying yourself during this party. I am given to understand that games are a common occurrence and I have compartmentalized a list of activities to maximize potential fun and enjoyment."
"No more dancing," grumbled Darunia.
After it was dark and everyone had gone home, Link decided to do the same. With Midna's gift, he was able to transport nearly all of his gifts back with little fuss. Darunia had made him a set of power gauntlets, Ruto had made a necklace that allowed him to swim for unlimited periods of time, Impa had given him a ceremonial naginata in honor of his heroism, and Agitha gave him a Goddess Butterfly.
"Master, I sense high levels of fatigue," said Pocket Fi as she followed Link into his room. "There is a 95% chance this fatigue will dissipate once you have a good night's rest and have a healthy breakfast in the morning. Remember to brush your teeth before you go to sleep."
Link nodded, set his gifts down, and went to wash for the night. While he did that, Pocket Fi carried each item to an appropriate location. Despite her small size, she was easily capable of lifting at least 20 lbs, so the gifts were of very little consequence to her. The power gauntlets went to the armory, the naginata went up above the fireplace, the necklace went to his nightstand, Midna's teleport square was set in the corner of the living room, and the Goddess Butterfly was set loose in the special cage Agitha had provided.
By the time Pocket Fi was finished, Link was already asleep in bed. Pocket Fi flew over to her new master, her new owner, and kissed his forehead.
"Good night, Master Link. Happy Birthday, and I love you."
Reviews are welcome and appreciated! Pocket Fi was created by Z-Raid over on Tumblr, go check their stuff out!