Gunsmoke: Words Unspoken
Young Marshal Matthew Dillon lay in the soft bed buck-naked and sleeping contentedly. If any of his worst enemies wanted to catch him off guard and completely vulnerable, now would have been the time to do so. Fortunately though, Dodge City was quiet and the only person allowed to see him in such a state was lying next to him sleeping and just as vulnerable. Rolling over onto his side, he slung an arm around her waist and pulled her back snugly against his chest.
Kitty Russell groggily opened her eyes to the darkened room and tried to focus in order to see the clock hanging above the fireplace. Gently removing the arm from around her waist, she scooted from the bed and made her way to the washroom. She came out just a few minutes later and climbed back into the warm bed, this time turning to face her companion. She studied his face in the diminishing firelight and her thoughts turned to late last night downstairs.
He had come in just a few minutes before closing time and had offered to buy her a drink. Kitty accepted, of course, and they took a seat at one of the empty tables in the back. About twenty minutes later, Bill Pence had gone home with the promise that she would lock up and then it was just the two of them. He had been especially attentive and flirtatious with her and she found herself scooting her chair just a little closer to his, joining in his playful mood. She would lean into him when she found one of his jokes especially funny, her shoulder bumping his lightly, his hand brushing against hers. They had known each other for a good while now and they had become fast friends, but it was the first time she could recall him paying so much attention to her in that boy-girl sort of way. Finally, he leaned over to kiss her and she kissed him back. Grabbing his hand, she pulled him from the table. He trailed her as they walked around the room, blowing out lamps and locking the front doors. She then pulled him over to the stairs where he kissed her again.
"Kitty," he had whispered softly, "Are you sure?" Her only response was to kiss him deeper and after a few moments he pulled away. "You understand how it has to be, don't you?" he asked.
"I know, Matt," she had said simply. She took his hand once again and led him to her room.
He was a wonderful lover and as unselfish a man she had ever known intimately. A smile came to her face as she continued to watch him. Kitty snuggled into his chest and finally drifted back to sleep when his arm returned to tightly wrap around her waist.
The relationship continued for months, with Matt spending nearly every night with her. Somehow they had managed to continue their regular friendship during the day and comfort each other at night. It was so easy at first, both of them having the pleasure without any of the strings, but all too soon, Kitty found herself with feelings. It was after she had returned from a week long trip to Garden City to visit a friend. The stage got in late that night and stopped in front of the depot.
After nearly an entire day of traveling, Kitty was more than happy to be getting off the stage. The driver handed her luggage down and she set off for the short walk to the Long Branch. Seeing that the light was still on in the marshal's office, she made a detour to see if she could interest him in a nightcap.
"Matt?" she called as she opened the door. She stepped inside to find his desk empty, but Chester Goode was sleeping soundly in the cot. Smiling fondly at the sight of her slumbering friend, she turned the lamp down some and continued on to the saloon.
As she pushed through the swinging doors, she looked around to see that the place was almost empty, which made sense considering it was nearly closing time. She walked over to the bar to chat with Bill for a minute.
"Hello, Bill," she greeted, sitting her bag on the floor.
"Hey there, Miss Kitty, it's good to have you back with us," he said smiling brightly. "How was your trip?" he asked.
"Tiring," she responded.
"Well, I'm about to close this place up in a minute. How about a drink before bed?"
"That's sounds like a fine idea," she said smiling. "I was gonna ask the marshal if he'd like to join me, but I haven't seen him yet. Has he been in here tonight?" Kitty turned to have a seat at one of the tables closest to the bar and she missed the look that came across Bill's face. It was no secret that Miss Kitty and Marshal Dillon had something going on, but Bill hadn't been sure of how exclusive it was until a few nights ago.
"Uh, I'm not sure," he said trying to avoid answering the question. "If he did I didn't see him. It was pretty busy in here tonight." He let out a sigh of relief when she seemed to have accepted his answer.
"Well, Bill, I'm gonna go on up. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Goodnight, Miss Kitty." She scooped up her bag and made her way over to the stairwell. She was nearly halfway up when she heard the sound of a squeaky door opening. She knew that was Laura's room and she figured she must have been with a customer. She continued a few more steps and stopped dead in her tracks when she heard his voice. He and Laura walked to the top of the stairs with an arm around each other, neither having seen Kitty yet. Her heart sank as he smiled down at the other woman.
"I'll see ya, Laura," he said as he removed his arm from around her.
"Anytime, Marshal," she said silkily as she turned to go back to her room. He finally turned to look down the stairs and saw her standing there.
"Kitty..." He sounded surprised. She collected herself and continued the rest of the way upstairs.
"Hello, Matt," she said somewhat reserved. She watched as he snatched his hat off of his head and played with it.
"I didn't know you were getting back today. Chester told me it wouldn't be until a couple of days from now."
"No, it was today," she said obviously.
"Well, how was your trip?" he asked with a smile.
"It was very tiring, so if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go on to bed."
"Sure, sure," he said stepping out of her way. "Goodnight, Kitty."
"Goodnight, Matt," she said before closing her bedroom door.
She felt silly. He had told her from the beginning how it had to be and she had no right to feel jealous. He was a man after all and he had needs. It was just plain silly of her to think that he would only come to her to have those needs fulfilled. She believed that he cared about her, but he had far from given her a declaration of love. Get it together, Kitty, she thought to herself. Walking over to her bed, she began unpacking.
Matt felt strange as he walked back to the jail. He didn't know why though. He could tell that something was bothering Kitty, but he wasn't sure what. All of a sudden he felt cranky. As he approached the darkened jail, he looked out at the street and then went inside. Turning the lamp up, he saw Chester fast asleep on the cot.
"Chester?" he called loudly. The young man stirred, but didn't wake up. "Chester!" he said louder.
"Wha…" he awoke with a jerk and sat up looking around frantically. "Oh, Mr. Dillon…it's you," he said sounding relieved.
"Chester, I thought you told me that Kitty's stage didn't get in until a few days from now," he said forcefully. He was out on the prairie the day her stage left.
"Well, that's what she told me," he said yawning.
"Her stage got in tonight."
"Oh, well I guess I must've misheard her or somethin'," he said falling back asleep. Matt rolled his eyes and then made his way back outside, deciding to check the streets one last time before turning in.
He didn't know what was wrong with him. Earlier that night, he had stopped by the Long Branch for a drink. Laura had come over to him immediately, but he refused her offers. He had been missing Kitty's touch and the more he thought about her, the more frustrated he became. Laura continued to work her charms on him and eventually he gave in, needing a physical release. She was no Kitty, but she had succeeded in showing him a good time.
As he walked along, he saw Kitty's light on above the Long Branch. She had been the cause of his aggravation. There was a strange look on her face when he saw her standing on the stairs watching him…them. But he and Kitty were only friends. She told him that she understood how it had to be. Now he wondered if he had made a mistake by going to her.
Matt continued on past the saloon, his mood steadily getting worse. Everything seemed complicated now and he still wasn't sure why.
Nearly a week passed before Matt and Kitty saw each other again. Matt pushed through the double doors and strolled over to the bar before looking around. He spotted Kitty talking with some cowboy and she had a pretty smile on her face. The cowboy leaned over to put an arm around her and Matt found himself angry that Kitty would let the man hang all over her. She usually excused herself to come and talk to him and he was a little slighted that she hadn't done so this time. He wanted to talk to her…to be with her really, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea anymore. It had been a long, hard week and he needed her to help him forget.
Maybe one of the other girls was free. He looked around the room for Laura, but he couldn't find her. He caught movement at the top of the stairs and saw her walking down with someone. He was immediately turned off by the idea of being with her. He didn't really want anyone besides Kitty anyway. She always knew just what he needed. Linda had just caught him at a vulnerable time those weeks ago. Just as he was deciding to go, he looked over to see the cowboy whispering something in her ear. He downed the last of his drink and looking over at her one last time, he saw her politely turn the man down on whatever he had asked of her. Matt had a pretty good idea of what it was.
Kitty stood from the table and said goodnight to the cowboy. She saw Matt over at the bar and made her way over to him.
"Hello, Matt," she said as she approached. "I haven't seen you in a while."
"Hi, Kitty," he said softly. All of his anger from earlier melted when he looked into her eyes. "I've been pretty busy this week."
And she could tell. He looked awfully tired and she could tell he had something on his mind. "How about a walk?" she suggested. She decided that she was going to put the idea of Laura and Matt out of her mind. Laura was just doing her job and Matt couldn't help being a man. Besides, they had never made any agreement to be exclusive.
Both found themselves wanting the other after the walk. Matt had a strong need and Kitty couldn't say no to him, to the look in his eyes.
She buried her fingers in his hair as he pressed searing kisses to her neck, her legs wrapping tighter around his waist. Moans escaped them unbidden as their bodies rocked together sensually. He took her mouth in a raw kiss, his tongue pushing past her lips. Neither had ever shared such a breathtaking experience, both too afraid to tell the other. One too precautious, the other protecting her heart. His eyes closed tightly as his release came, the feel of her warmth pushing him beyond his limits. She held him close as they basked in the feel of one another, bodies trembling outright and emotions soaring inside.
They lay together afterwards holding on to each other tightly. Kitty listened as his breathing evened out, his head resting on her shoulder. Her fingers ran softly through his damp hair as her tears fell freely. How had she fallen for him?
Easy. He was the best man she had ever known. She wasn't sure she would ever be able to let him go.
"I love you, Matt," she whispered to him, knowing he couldn't hear her. His only response was to cuddle into her.
He dressed quickly and quietly the next morning, trying not to wake her. She rolled over facing him and fell back asleep. He smiled at the soft noises she made. When Matt woke up that morning, his mind was immediately flooded with the images of their lovemaking. It was enough to make him ready for her again and he awakened her with a kiss. Now she lay getting some much deserved rest and he wished he could stay with her instead of going to work. As he pulled on his boots, it occurred to him that no woman had ever made him desire a break from his job before. He pulled on his gun belt and hat and then walked over to the edge of the bed. Pulling the blankets up and over her shoulder, he studied her beautiful face. Of its own accord, his hand reached out and his fingers brushed her cheek. He then moved away and slipped out the door quietly.
Matt was surprised to find himself thinking about her often throughout the day, whether it was the look on her face when they were together or a joke she had told him. He was beginning to realize that he was more and more anxious to spend time with her. So anxious, in fact, that he had gone and invited her to dinner. Her face lit up when he asked her and seeing her shine made him shine. Even Doc Adams had commented on his good spirits.
Kitty sat at one of the tables with a game of solitary laid out before her. She looked up when she heard someone plop down in the chair across from her.
"Hi, Kitty," Laura said with a bored sigh. She slouched in her chair with a mug of beer.
"Hi, Laura," she responded hesitantly, not sure what the woman wanted. She hadn't spoken one word to her since that night.
"Hey, you know that marshal of yours?" Marshal of hers?
"What about him?" she asked, not bothering to correct the woman.
"Well, next time he asks a girl up, tell him to make sure and at least get her name right." Kitty continued to stare confused. Laura rolled her eyes and continued. "He was calling for you the whole time instead of me," she said as though it should have been obvious to Kitty. She then stood with her mug of beer and walked over to the bar for a refill. Kitty sat at the table stunned.
So far, dinner was a quiet affair. There weren't many people in the restaurant to begin with and Kitty was unusually silent. Matt watched as she ate small bites of her food.
"Is everything okay, Kitty?" he finally asked. She looked up as if it were the first time she had noticed him sitting across from her.
"Oh, everything is fine, Matt. Why do you ask?"
"Well, you just seem a little quiet is all." She reassured him that she was fine and they continued on with their dinner.
Things weren't exactly going the way Matt had hoped they would. Kitty was acting more like she didn't really want to be there with him at all. Deciding not to press her, he let it drop as they ate quietly.
A light rain began to fall as he walked her back to the Long Branch. People dashed in out of the wetness, leaving the streets clear. Kitty looked over to the handsome marshal as they walked along. She knew she hadn't been very good company, but she couldn't stop thinking about what Laura had told her. Maybe she was making too much of it. She and Matt had shared a lot of nights together. It wasn't so uncanny that he would fantasize about her even if he was with another woman, and that meant that what Laura told her didn't necessarily mean what she wanted it to mean. She was getting her hopes up and that was a dangerous thing to do.
"Kitty, we're here," Matt announced, pulling her from her thoughts. She looked around to see that they had reached the back entrance to the Long Branch and the rain had stopped almost as quickly as it had begun. He watched her, wishing she would tell him what was bothering her. He had wanted to talk to her about something over dinner, but it turned out to be a bad time for it. Now, they stood at the back steps and he figured it was now or never. "You know, Kitty," he said getting her attention, "I think you were right about something."
"Oh?" she said curious, looking down as his hand grasped hers. He brought it to his mouth and kissed her fingers.
"I don't know very much about women." He was glad to see an amused smile forming on her face. "But," he continued, placing her hand on his chest, "I do know that men can be very dense when it comes to them." He stepped closer to her and slid his arms around her waist. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, Kitty, and I've decided that I've been a fool when it comes to you." He leaned down and kissed her lips softly. He could see the uncertainty in her eyes when he pulled away. "I want you to be my girl, Kitty Russell." He kissed her again, deeper this time, teasing her lips. "I don't want us to ever be with anyone else," he told her.
"Matt," Kitty said as her hands moved to the nape of his neck, "You're the only man I've been with since coming to Dodge." She smiled as he looked at her surprised. "I put that part of my life behind me a long time ago."
"Then why…"
"Because, Matt, I love you," she said as she pulled him into another kiss. Never again, would they hold back what they were feeling from one another.
The End