Where You Belong
Summary: 1-shot. Sam's having a hard time dealing with memories brought back after his encounter with Lucifer. It's up to Dean to find out why and help his brother to remember that despite the Devil's lies that he's where he belongs. *Sam/Dean* *Upset/on edge!Sam & Worried/tense!Dean with some angst and schmoop*
Pairing: Sam and Dean
Warnings: The usual for language, and eventual explicit content. I'm also going to warn for possible triggers as there are mentions of and suggested past non-con events.
Tags/Spoilers: Yes, a few spoilers to 11x10 The Devil in the Details.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the warped brain that thinks up the plots.
Author Note: Again, the muse took another turn but it all worked out in the end.
~SPN SPN SPN SPN~
Sam Winchester lifted a hand for what he figured was the 10th time in so many minutes with the plan to knock on his older brother's door but pulled back before he could, leaning against the wall across from it instead.
He and Dean hadn't talked too much since returning to the bunker. Sam had showered before being ambushed in the kitchen as he'd been searching for food by Dean and their First-Aid kit.
Dean told him what had happened after their last phone conversation and Sam explained the how and why he'd gone ahead without waiting for him and what had happened in the Cage with Lucifer before Dean and Castiel arrived on the scene.
Sam had winced and gave a few pained growls over Dean's insistence on using that one antiseptic that burned like hell but at least that burn of the antiseptic was a distraction to memories that the younger Winchester was trying to not let his brother know had been forced to the surface by this most recent trip to hell and his confrontation with Lucifer.
That was until he felt warm lips brush against a bruise on his cheek and jerked without meaning to. Sam had been quick to make an excuse but a single look from his brother told him that the weak attempt hadn't been bought and now after two hours of pacing his room before moving his nervous energy to the hallway, the hunter worried Dean had thought the wrong thing about the action.
The brothers had been closer lately than they'd been in years but Sam understood that there were still issues that haunted both Winchesters. He also knew Dean still worried and had doubts if Sam had fully forgiven his actions while under the Mark of Cain.
Now as he stared at the door across from him, Sam feared with everything that was going on since the unleashing of the Darkness that Dean might have thought when he jerked back that it was something off between them instead of what it actually had been.
"If I wake him up, he'll kill me," Sam muttered and continued the inner debate with himself on which course of action to take when suddenly the matter was decided for him.
"I'm going to kick your ass if you don't stop the goddamn pacing, open the damn door and come in here before I come out there and drag your ass in!"
Blinking at the shout from behind the door, Sam blew out a breath and supposed he shouldn't have been surprised that Dean had known he was out there. His brother always knew where he was or when he was on edge or needed him it seemed.
Steeling his nerves for any possible fight that might come next, Sam opened the door to step into the bedroom expecting to find Dean already in bed or at least looking like he had been in bed until Sam's nervous pacing had woken him up. He wasn't expecting to see his brother looking wide awake and the bed still made as if Dean hadn't even gone to bed yet.
"Did…I wake you up?" he asked as he shut the door behind him, leaning against it to take in the slight edge to his brother's voice and the way his jaw was clenching and suspected this might not be a good night.
"Do I look like I've been to sleep yet, Sammy?" Dean countered from where he stood across the room, sitting on the edge of the desk with his legs outstretched and arms crossed.
"No, but then you never did sleep well if you were pissed off and I'm guessing you're pissed off at me," Sam replied quietly; unsure if he was up to this considering his body was sore, his head hurt and he really wished the hot showers he'd taken had helped even a little.
"Yeah, I'm pissed," Dean admitted while straightening slowly, not missing the way Sam tensed or how shadowed his eyes looked when he watched him move. "But not at you," he added, waiting a beat before going on. "You want to be honest with me now and tell me what the hell else happened before I got there or what he said that brought it back this bad?"
Sam had been slowly moving to the side, nervously fingering something on the dresser when those words hit him and his eyes snapped up. "What?" he stared at his brother and swore under his breath when it dawned on him that despite all the strain between them that Dean could still read him as well as he'd ever had and Sam felt a small amount of panic building. "No, it's nothing like…Dean," he tensed when a hand landed on his arm after his brother had closed the space between them in just a few steps.
"Lie to me now and you will piss me off at you, little brother," Dean growled in the tone of voice that Sam knew was one step away from his brother's temper doing more than simmering. "You've gotten better at hiding things from me over the years, but there are times, about certain things that you still give off the same damn tells that you always did as a kid."
Dean knew he was close to an edge that he told himself he would not cross that night. He'd known, every ounce of the big brother inside of him had known the second he got his hand on his brother inside that damn cage to feel how tense Sam was, even ignoring the obvious signs of violence he'd seen, he suspected what had happened.
Now he was suspecting what was happening inside his little brother's head that had him jumpy or on edge enough that he jerked when Dean touched him. It had been that jerk that had finished removing any doubts to what had been brought back to Sam.
He'd allowed Sam to fear what his reaction had made him think because Dean had needed the time to try to calm down before broaching what had always been a very tender subject for them.
From the moment Sam had his soul restored and his memories of Hell came back, from the first time he'd woken Dean up by throwing up and had refused to let his brother touch him until he'd woken up fully, Dean had suspected what two pissed off Archangels might have done to his brother during his time in the Cage.
From the experience Dean had from his own time in Hell, both on and off the rack, he knew the perverted things that happened and had hoped Lucifer and Michael had been too pissed off to do more than just torture Sam physically. He'd learned a month later when after a hard case had exhausted them both physically and emotionally and Sam hadn't been able to bury the nightmares he'd been suffering alone thru just how wrong he'd been.
This time the hunter figured it was those memories as well as anything the conceited prick might've said or hinted at that had made Sam edgy to the point where he'd jumped at just a brush of lips; something that hadn't bothered his brother in years.
"Crowley didn't give me a direct answer when I asked him how the hell long you'd been in that cage with Lucifer before he finally decided to call me. So I'm asking you one more time, Sam, how long were you in there and what the hell did he do?" Dean felt the tension in Sam and knew from years of prior experience that right then his brother was still raw and would bolt if given a chance; Dean didn't plan on giving him that chance.
The first shift in Sam's body had Dean quickly moving to box his brother in against the wall. He kept one hand on a tightening shoulder while placing his other firmly yet gently against the center of Sam's chest. "Uh-huh, baby boy," he began in a tone that was low, deep but not the one Sam expected to hear right then given how angry Dean had sounded. "It's just you and me and we're going to talk about this now."
Sam had wanted to try to smooth things over without actually touching on anything too heavy since he was feeling the memories a few things Lucifer said had brought back to him along with the pain of being tossed around even before his brother arrived.
He hadn't been expecting Dean to have figured out what was wrong much less that his brother had been waiting for him it seemed. Now Sam was trying to decide which way to run when he was reminded yet again how determined his brother could be when he wanted to be.
"What if I don't want to talk about it?" Sam challenged before he thought about it and knew he'd made a mistake even before he saw the way Dean's lips curved up into the slow smirk that Sam remembered from being 16 and annoying as hell. "Dean, I'm okay. I just wanted to explain about before and make sure that you didn't think I…" he cut off when deep green eyes slid up to meet his and knew Dean wasn't buying it. "He didn't touch me."
"Define touch because I cleaned the blood and bruises off of you so I know he touched you, Sammy," Dean still wanted one good shot at the goddamn Devil for those marks and he figured he still owed him for a lot more. "And do you seriously want to see how this goes for you if you try to avoid this discussion?"
The hint of danger that always came with that tone hit Sam in a way that he'd only felt it once, making him tense and shoot a glance toward the door as if considering the odds when the hand on his chest pressed just hard enough to make him look up to see that while Dean's face was hard, jaw set that his eyes were still calm if a little more worried than he was letting on at the moment.
Sam got what was happening. He understood what Dean was doing and he knew he was safe. It was just the issue of getting past that damn voice he could still hear and the not so subtle comments that brought back memories that he didn't want.
"No, he was too busy trying to convince me to say 'yes' to rape me again," he finally sighed, letting his head fall back to hit the wall while his eyes looked to the ceiling rather than close and risk what he might see. "Yeah, he said a lot, hinted a lot more and yeah, it brought too much back so that when you went to kiss me in the kitchen I…jerked but I'll be…fine," Sam heard teeth gritting so he guessed Dean didn't believe that last word. "I'll be fine once I take a few more showers and can convince myself that he's still locked in the Cage. And you can gloat over being right that trying to talk to him was a mistake. It was all a damn trap."
Dean heard the tiredness in Sam's voice as well as the guilt and pain. He knew he could play the 'I told you so' card if he wanted as well as the 'I told you to wait for me' one but a look at his brother's shadowed eyes and the way he still stood so tensely took away any real urge for that.
Slowly beginning to rub gentle circles against the shirt Sam wore; Dean took his time in considering the next step or comment he made.
He knew that out of the two of them that it was Sam who'd always had more faith. Dean had politely listened to Pastor Jim's sermons or his lessons of God, angels, good and evil but actually having faith in anything the Pastor turned hunter said just wasn't his cup of tea.
Sam believed in angels or he did until the first time they actually met a few and began to understand that real angels weren't fluffy winged little guys but were more like arrogant dicks.
That discovery had hit his brother hard but then that time had been brutally hard emotionally on Sam anyway since both Heaven and Hell had been trying to drive them apart; an act that did succeed in some ways.
This time when Sam had started talking about God sending him visions, Dean knew he'd mocked his brother a little harshly but after everything that had happened the last five or six years it was still difficult to believe that God still wasn't taking a nap somewhere while the world went to pot.
Now he watched Sam and feared how this reveal was hurting him. "Okay, so Lucifer said it wasn't God sending you the visions," he began, seeing a nod but also seeing that Sam's eyes remained on the ceiling while his fingers of one hand had started to clench while his other had curled into one of Dean's belt loops. "The Devil lies, little brother. Maybe he jacked the thread of visions but that isn't to say he sent all of them."
Sam had been silently kicking himself for falling for visions that he'd so desperately wanted to believe had come from a higher power only to learn that a crack in the Cage had allowed Lucifer to play him for a fool. He'd been so sure the visions had come from God that he'd even been willing to openly pray for the first time in more than five years even if it meant being mocked by his brother.
"Huh?" he suddenly blinked and made his eyes look down when what Dean had said replayed itself in his distracted mind. "What did you say?"
"You're so damn adorable when you snap back after spacing out on me," Dean chuckled while slowly relaxing the grip he had on Sam's shoulder but still kept his other hand moving of soft cotton instead of slipping down and under like he wanted to do. "I said, just because Lucifer said he sent all the visions doesn't mean he really did, Sam."
"But…but you didn't believe they'd come from God in the first place," Sam argued, distracted and confused by the unexpected change in his brother's opinions.
"Believing in God, believing in possible visions from God after everything we've seen, that we've done or been put thru by the Angel Squad is still a little hard for me, Sam," Dean replied grimly, slowly moving his fingers from Sam's shoulder over to lightly trace the line of his jaw. "You had faith that I'd come for you. You've always had faith in things when I haven't so if you keep that faith that somewhere in this mess God might still be paying attention then maybe he is," he curled his fingers under Sam's jaw to nudge it up a little, lips curving into a smile as he felt his brother starting to slowly relax. "If I give you a night free of the no chick flick moments rule…what would you…and there's my boy."
From the first time they crossed the line from brothers to much more, Sam had always known his brother's strict rule of no chick flick moments was slightly more bendable than usual; bendable but still there.
Dean had been taught to keep his emotions in check and he did. Very rarely did he let anything show unless it was with or for Sam. His brother had always been the one person he would open up more around but only at certain times or when they were alone like they were now.
As someone who had grown up with and in some cases raised his brother, Dean also knew the best ways to help Sam during moments like this. One of those ways, the best way other than forcing a fight and bringing out the emotions that way, was to just toss his main rule to the wind and allow what happened to happen.
Sam might still have been emotionally raw and physically exhausted, he might still be unsure of where Dean might be going with this but he was still alert enough to know what his older brother was offering when he dropped the no chick flick moments rule and took it.
The words weren't fully out of Dean's mouth and Sam was moving without thought. He felt strong arms wrapping around to pull him away from the wall and fully into Dean's arms as soon as his arms moved to initiate the embrace.
The need to feel Dean's arms around him, to hear his brother's voice over the still annoying one of Lucifer was huge in Sam. He'd wanted it earlier but hadn't been able to handle even a simple brush of lips over his cheek much less the feel of being held until he'd worked thru some of it.
Having Dean open the proverbial door to being able to express more emotions, to have his brother react without snark or teasing was the final key to allowing the younger man to push past a shell that he'd come to put up when battling too many emotions or dark memories.
Sam had kept calmer than he honestly felt like being while trapped with Lucifer because he had believed that his brother would come for him. It was just the memories that had come rushing back, the feelings associated with them that he'd buried that had hit him hard once back at the bunker and the adrenaline wore off that Sam was fighting right then.
Instincts still had him tensing as Sam fought the need to purge memories, new and old, but feared the resulting anger or teasing that might come later.
"C'mere, Sammy," Dean had felt his brother tense even as he also felt fingers clutching the back of his t-shirt as hard shudders began to work through broad shoulders that Dean knew had carried too much pain and guilt for way too long. "Let it go, little brother. I'm here with you now. You're where you belong and no one will ever change that. No one, angel or demon, will ever take you from me. Now, let it out. I've got you."
Dean's voice was calm, low and soothing as he kept one arm around Sam while gently moving his other up to grip the back of his brother's neck as he shifted them more toward his bed to sit down. He felt Sam's grip tighten and at the first sound of broken sob buried again his neck, the hunter swore that one day he would find a way to make both Archangels pay.
Listening to Sam slowly reveal not only what had happened, been said this time while trapped with Lucifer but those events had brought back memories that Sam hadn't shared from his time inside the actual Cage; memories that had to come out now and ones that Dean listened to stoically while gritting his teeth and promising blood.
By the time Sam's voice drew off and the hard shaking eased into occasional tremors he felt emotionally drained and more physically exhausted than he had been to start with but he also felt more relaxed, or lighter as if sharing the dark memories of the games played and acts done to him while in the Cage as well as what Lucifer hinted at this time had helped to free him somewhat.
Sam knew he'd said a lot more than he probably should've and Dean's temper would probably be stewing with a need to respond but he hated to lose the comfort that just being with his brother, being held like this, still could give. He was a slightly surprised that Dean wasn't moving or trying to break the heaviness that was in the room right then but Sam felt gentle fingers combing back through his hair while he heard his brother's deep voice still talking…in Latin.
Slowly as he began to calm down, to let his thoughts settle back in the present and Dean's voice, what he was saying, began to sink in with Sam, he finally eased back from where he discovered he'd buried his face against the crook of his brother's neck to see his brother's face was tight from tension but both voice and touch had remained gentle during this time.
"Are…" Sam winced as he heard his voice break when he tried to speak, swallowing hard and trying again. "Are you…saying the full exorcism ritual in Latin?" he asked, voice sounding as raw as he still felt. "When did you get that good at Latin that I can actually understand you and any demons would be smoking out if we had any?"
"When I realized you were too far gone to pay attention to anything important that I might say to either calm you down or help you over it but you still needed to hear my voice talking to you," Dean replied with a casual shrug as he slowly let Sam ease back enough to see his face and eyes.
The dark shadows of exhaustion could still be seen and Sam's face was pale like it got when he was beyond tired and also had just gone thru emotional hell but at least the tension was gone. Dean raised a hand to run his knuckles down the back of his brother's cheek, wiping at drying tears that were there and noticed that Sam didn't flinch this time, that he turned his face into the touch which relieved the older brother's worries a little more.
"Feel any better?" he asked and started to move as if to give Sam some space like his brother sometimes wanted after moments like that only to stop when fingers caught his wrist. "Sammy?"
Sam did feel much better than he had before confronting the memories Lucifer had brought back on top of the guilt and doubts he'd tried to force him to believe this time. He still had some issues that he could feel in the back of his mind but knew how best to deal with those now that he was a little calmer.
"How angry are you right now?" he asked his brother curiously, quick to go on when he saw a flash of warning in Dean's eyes. "I know you're not angry with me, Dean. But I also know you probably are angry with some things you heard me say that…happened to me so I'm asking how angry are you right now or how long do you need to calm down enough where you'd touch me if I asked?"
Dean had just been about to pop off something slightly snarky when he stopped in mid-sentence to stare at Sam as the rest of his comment hit him; making him look directly into hazel eyes that were clear but also wary as if Sam was unsure of what he was about to do.
"Yeah, I'm angry and yeah, I do want to find a spell or something to really make those two jackasses hurt for what they put you through and for what he dared to hint at again," he began slowly as he moved the hand that had still been on Sam's cheek down to curve over his neck and felt a little more tension start to slip out of his brother. "As for the rest, you know I don't like to touch you or do anything if I'm pissed because while we do play rough sometimes the odds of you getting hurt are always greater if we fool around when I'm on edge. Tell me what you have in mind and I'll tell you if it's possible."
Sam could feel Dean's fingers curving on his neck before slowly starting to ease back to wrap around the back of his neck in a gesture that Sam knew from childhood meant support but also knew how quickly that grip could change to something much more.
"Talking about it, telling you about it helped a lot but…" Sam paused to take a shaky breath that turned into a soft gasp as gentle fingers that had slid up into his hair turned suddenly to give a tug that immediately had his focus back where Dean wanted it. "Do you remember the night I first told you about the Cage? About what Lucifer did to me there?" he asked, going on when he saw the tight nod. "I was raw then too. I couldn't stop feeling it and you said…"
"I said that the goddamn Devil was never touching my baby brother again. I said that if you'd let me I'd replace those feelings with ones we made together," Dean finished, voice dropping just a little lower as he placed his other hand back against the center of Sam's chest before it was taken so their palms could meet. "Is that what you need now, Sammy?" he asked even though he was already certain of the answer before Sam's eyes moved to his.
"Yes," Sam whispered, knowing they were close enough that he'd be heard and wasn't disappointed when he saw Dean's lips slowly curved into the slow, sinfully sexy smile that he got and only Sam was privileged to see these days. "Will you…can we…hmmm!"
Dean mentally debated with himself over letting this happen given that he knew what Sam was feeling but the second he was hit with big, soft, and wet hazel eyes and felt Sam's fingers squeeze a little tighter where they meshed with Dean's own he knew he was lost.
He knew he was still on the dangerous side of angry but made a stern mental note to keep some control as he gave a tug on the hand he was holding to pull Sam forward so their lips collided in a searing kiss that he knew would ensure his brother's attention was on him, on them rather than anything he might still feel.
The second Sam felt Dean's lips claim his with a heat that had never failed to turn his brain to mush he could feel any remaining tension or nerves melting away. He felt the fingers in his hair tighten just enough to give his head a pull back, breaking the kiss and leaving the younger man trying to catch his breath.
"You sure you're okay with this?" Dean asked, tone deep, gravelly like it got when turned on and also knew how that tone affected his brother. "Tell me now, Sam."
"I want you to take the feel of him off of my skin, Dean," Sam murmured, fingers reaching up to ghost over the material of his brother's t-shirt before gripping it tightly. "I need to feel you. I need you."
Dean leaned in closer to run his lips along the hard line of Sam's jaw before retracing his path with a gentle graze of his teeth. He used the time to settle his building desire that had already started to heat his blood and got hotter by those words.
They'd played rough more than a few times. They'd even cross into kinky before Dean's time in Hell and Purgatory on top of Sam's time in Hell and his soulless days made both brothers wary of going back there too much.
That night Dean knew he was on an edge that could turn rough if he wasn't careful. He accepted that Sam wasn't fragile. Something his often too bossy little brother would point out if he went too slowly, but Dean also knew right then that hard and fast wasn't what his brother needed from him. He just had to hope that he could give Sam what he did need.
The first kiss was nothing but heat because Dean needed to be sure Sam could handle it or if he'd freeze up. When he responded to the kiss and actually relaxed the rest of the way, Dean knew he could go further. He just had to get a handle on his emotions first.
Running his lips down to the hollow of Sam's throat, he chuckled lowly at the feel of curious fingers sliding under his shirt. "I've got you, baby boy," he murmured against Sam's mouth before kissing him again.
Sam's body was on edge now from the heat of the first kiss and the feel of teeth and tongue sliding down his throat. He was quickly forgetting the memories or the events earlier and his brother's next kiss finished wiping his memory of anything but Dean.
This kiss had heat but it wasn't as rough or demanding since Dean made sure to soften the kiss the second their lips touched. He felt Sam start at the unexpected change but then relax against him, lips parting on a moan of want as tongues began to play hide and seek.
Hands touched each other until Dean gave in to the muttered demands being tossed his way to pull his t-shirt off over his head but made sure Sam's followed suit a moment before his brother's back his the bed.
"Have I mentioned lately how bossy you can be for the bottom in this relationship?" Dean asked with a laugh as he watched his brother toss his hair out of his face before flipping him off. "Huh. You are so damn lucky I'm trying to do this the nice and easy way."
"Not a girl, Dean," Sam shot back on a gasp when hot lips closed over a hard nub on his chest, back arching and reaching for his brother only to groan when both wrists were caught and held above him; the first time he felt a flash of worry or memory since they started kissing earlier. "Dean?"
Dean felt the tension the second it happened, not surprised since there had always been times when Sam had issues with being restrained even by him. He considered letting go but then switched his plan when he easily straddled Sam's waist at the same time as he adjusted his grip to easily hold his brother's wrists securely but without hurting him.
"No, you're not a girl," he agreed and caught Sam's jaw in his other hand, making their eyes lock. "What are you?" he asked in a slightly deeper tone of voice, raising an eyebrow to warn his brother not to give him the smart ass remark they both knew was probably on the tip of Sam's tongue. "What are you, Sam?"
Sam was tensing his arms as if testing if he could break Dean's grip on his wrists when he felt the grip on them tighten enough that he winced, eyes moving up to see the heat in deepening green ones. When the question was first asked, Sam almost tossed out a frustrated reply but then it slowly began to click what answer his brother was seeking and he went still.
"Yours," he answered and saw Dean's lips curve up slowly. "I'm yours."
"Yeah, and as long as you're with me you're where you belong," Dean leaned down to let their mouths touch in a tender, deep kiss. "We'll fight this mess together and no one comes between us again. Now tell me what you want."
Sam's mouth had gone dry at both the kiss as well as the depth of unspoken emotion he heard in his brother's voice. He understood that while Dean was willing to express emotions while they were intimate like this, it was still hard for him to share that much raw emotion so he had to blink the sudden burning out of his eyes before he could respond.
Under any other circumstance, at any other time Sam would take advantage of the moment to say what was on his heart and he figured he still would before they woke up in the morning. Right then something else came to mind and he went with it.
"Our jeans off and your cock in my ass sometime tonight," he replied without blinking.
Dean had been kissing slowly down the center of Sam's chest when he went completely still, eyes lifting slowly to see Sam watching him with just a hint of nerves showing in hazel eyes that were mostly all black by now. "Bossy," he smirked but then gave Sam exactly what he wanted.
Sliding off the bed, Dean made short work of the rest of their clothing before digging into the nightstand for a bottle of lube. "Roll over."
Sam eagerly did as he was told, rolling to his knees with his hands on the wall. He felt the bed move as his brother knelt behind him to let warmed lube dribble down over the crease of his ass.
"This works better if you lose the jeans, dude," he said after feeling the brush of rough denim against his thigh as Dean leaned closer to kiss the base of his neck. "In fact, this would work if you lose the jeans and the lube and…"
"No," Dean murmured, placing one hand on the back of Sam's neck while letting his index finger of his other slowly begin to lightly rub over the red puckered rim of Sam's hole. "Calm down. You know I won't hurt you."
Sam's eyes closed and he rested his forehead against the wall, nodding. "I know," he muttered tightly, feeling the hand on his neck squeeze lightly. "It was…flashes of…there."
Dean paused for a second, understanding what Sam wasn't saying. "Do you want to stop?" he asked. His body was strained, his cock already hard and trapped by his jeans but if Sam needed to stop for any reason then he would.
"We didn't stop the night I first told you and I won't let him cause us to stop tonight," Sam took another second to settle, shoving the few flashes of fire and pain aside to glance beside him and offer a small smile. "I'm okay, Dean," he promised his brother.
"If you want to stop or need to slow down, tell me," Dean said and offered a soft kiss to the corner of Sam's lips before returning his focus to opening his brother as quickly but also as carefully as he could before they both imploded from desire and need. "Love you, Sammy," he whispered against Sam's ear and felt better when he saw his brother's smile widen.
Working slowly, Dean began with one finger. It hadn't been too long since he and Sam had made love so it didn't take him long before he could move two fingers freely, beginning to scissor them and also making sure he let them brush against his brother's prostate.
"Fuck!" Sam groaned, fighting the urge to push back into Dean's fingers to try to get them deeper or to get the touch on his prostate again.
His cock was dripping precome now steadily and while Sam longed to touch it, to jerk off for some relief he knew better and kept his hands on the wall while feeling hot lips caressing over his shoulders before sliding up his neck.
"You're doing so good for me, little brother," Dean murmured, voice the low sexy one that he'd spent most of his high school years perfecting and one he knew turned Sam on. He licked a stripe up the side of Sam's neck before letting his teeth gently take and tug on the sensitive earlobe, hearing a soft moan of want that made him smile. "You ready for me?"
"Been ready," Sam gasped, shivering from need. He felt Dean ease off the bed long enough to finally shed his jeans and boxer briefs, glancing to the side to watch this and once again felt something stir inside his chest as it never failed to amaze and awe Sam that he was one of the few people who Dean would drop his shields for and be this open with.
Dean might be a few inches shorter but as Sam knew well his brother had a lean build with muscles that he got to see.
"Like what you see, Sammy?" Dean teased with an easy smile, kneeling back on the bed to slick his already slicked up cock with more lube to ensure a smooth entry.
"Always did, always will," Sam countered, relaxing fully for the first time in days. He felt the lean, hard body of his brother positioning himself behind him.
There was a brief moment of tension but Sam was quick to battle it down, reaching back quickly when he felt Dean start to move. "No! Don't you dare move away," he closed his eyes to take a shaky breath. "I will not let him win and if you stop now then he will have won."
Sam glanced over to see the heat in Dean's eyes but he also saw the concern and loved his brother all the more for both. "I…love you," he said it softly since he knew if there were any words that his brother avoided openly saying or hearing, it was those but Sam felt the need to say them right then. "Make love to me?"
Dean could feel the little shudders going through his brother but wasn't sure if they were from desire or memories. When Sam reached for and grabbed his arm both the hunter and the big brother wanted someone hurt for all the pain his brother had endured in his life but Dean was also proud that despite it all Sam still wasn't willing to quit.
"I love you back, Sammy," he murmured in a way of responding but before he did so, Dean caught Sam's face in one hand to turn it towards him and kissed him slowly, deeply. "I love you."
Sam understood even without hearing the slight break in his brother's strong voice why he repeated the words he rarely said and knew nothing more needed to be said by him.
Dean's body was on fire but he still knew he couldn't just shove his cock into Sam's ass so with a silent prayer for a little more control, he began to work the head of his cock past the well stretched rim until he could start giving shallow little thrusts that took him slowly, a lot too slow in Sam's opinion, up into tight moist heat.
Sam's fingers were now clenching into fists as he battled either shoving back, finding some relief for his engorged, red and angry cock or reaching back to grab what little of his brother's too short hair to show his patience was at its limit when he heard a low chuckle against his ear.
"You still talk to yourself when you're frustrated," Dean teased and loved the bitch face he was shot. He knew Sam was past his point of endurance; hell, so was he so with a move back he gave a final hard thrust that took his cock fully inside and felt still tight muscled clench around him so tightly that it took all of Dean's willpower to not come right then. "Sonuvabitch," he groaned and battled for control.
Both men were tense, on edge and needing relief but while Sam knew Dean wouldn't blame him now if he jerked off he could feel the tension in his brother as he struggled to not climax too soon or take too much too fast so he kept his hands where they were.
Dean's lips had locked around the knob of bone at the top of Sam's spine, sucking on it while he forced his body to settle. He could hear every groan and soft whimper of need his brother made now and slowly slid one tense arm around; wrapping it around Sam's chest while his other went down to where he knew Sam wanted him to be.
"Nothing I do, nothing we do will ever take away the memories of what was done in the Cage or those other times when you were hurt and I couldn't protect you," Dean began slowly, tightly; fingers closing over Sam's cock to begin to give long smooth strokes from base to tip while letting his hips start to thrust in time with the way Sam's hips were now moving against him. "I can't take it away but I can help you cope with the memories when you need my help and I can make damn sure it doesn't happen so long as I'm alive," he added. "You're where you belong now, little brother."
Sam could only manage a nod, throat tight with emotions he couldn't find words right then to express as his body and brain were both going to mush with every thrust of Dean's hips. He felt his prostate get hit each time his brother's cock moved while the strong fingers stroking his cock was also hitting the nerve on the underside that soon had Sam begging for release.
"De'n…need to…fuck!" Sam's head dropped back against Dean's shoulder, trying to make coherent words come out but having real trouble focusing on anything past coming and soon. "Please…need to…need to come, now. I…"
"Shhh, I've got you, Sammy," Dean whispered, pressing soft kisses against the side of Sam's face and reading the need easily. "Come for me, Sam."
Feeling Sam's body shaking with need, Dean quickened both his strokes and his thrusts; making sure to hit his brother's prostate with each thrust while sliding his other hand down to go between his brother's legs until he found the swollen and heavy balls. "Come now!"
The order was followed by a gentle tug on balls so heavy Dean didn't know how Sam had managed to hold back his climax until know. He ran the tip of his finger over the slit in Sam's cock and felt tight inner muscles suddenly jerk before they clamped down on his own cock a second before he heard his name shouted at the same time he felt Sam jerk and then felt hot come spilling over his hand. "Yahtzee."
The orgasm hit Sam harder than any he'd had in a while. He heard his brother's voice low and deep in his ear as his hips moved in time with the way Dean moved as he helped him to milk the climax for as long as possible.
For several minutes there were no sounds in Dean's bedroom other than soft moans, low grunts, sounds of flesh meeting flesh and words shared only between them and only during moments like this.
Dean's own orgasm had happened shortly after Sam's and he struggled to work through his own while also helping Sam get as much as possible from his. He heard a low whimper though and guessed his brother's now softening cock had become too sensitive to touch and gently eased his hand away.
"Don't…" Sam's brain was mush, his muscles felt weak as the force of everything began to finally take hold. He knew he was crashing but still forced his hand to move to catch his brother's, holding it tightly as he felt his head begin to buzz. "Stay?"
"Sammy?" Dean's muscles were starting to feel the burn as he supported them both since he'd pulled Sam back more into his arms earlier. He felt shaking fingers catch his one hand and tried to look at Sam's face when he noticed a flash of white under closing lashes a second before Sam went to dead weight in his arms and the hunter barely had time to adjust his grip or risk them both falling backwards. "Shit! Sam!"
Tightening his arm around Sam's chest, Dean balanced himself back on one arm since Sam still had his other one held tightly. He was able to finish off his own climax with a few more thrusts before slowly managing to shift until he got them laid down on the pillows.
Laying still until his heart settled and his body cooled, Dean was able to tell that Sam was alright and had just been knocked out from the stress and force of recent events so that the unexpectedly hard climax had just knocked his little brother unconscious for a little bit.
Wiping his one hand on the blanket, Dean carded his fingers back through Sam's sweat soaked hair to see a sleepy smile and relaxed. He stayed that way, not slipping out of Sam yet, so he could give his brother a few more moments of peaceful sleep.
"Love you, baby boy," he whispered against Sam's ear as he used the one nickname that only he used and only when they were intimate like this.
After several minutes of watching to be sure Sam's breathing was even and his face remained calm, Dean slowly eased free but was quick to reassure his brother that he wasn't leaving when the second the connection between them was lost Sam began to wake up.
"Let me wipe us both off and get some clothes on before you do your human octopus act, Sasquatch," Dean muttered but laughed as he was reminded of when Sam was little and had been all arms and legs at times.
He'd given up on the plan to go grab a warm washcloth and settled for his t-shirt to do the deed. Dean managed to get them both wiped down enough to sleep before pulling on a pair of sleep pants and then struggled to get his brother into a pair.
By the time that feat was accomplished, Dean wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or strangle his half asleep and very clingy brother. He decided to do neither and just let Sam pull him back onto the bed with him; keeping quiet that the moment he had Sam had instantly turned to bury his face against the spot between Dean's neck and shoulder with a mumble.
"I could so make his life hell for this," Dean muttered but let Sam settle in his arms before pulling the blankets up and wrapping his one around his brother; while still silently reminding himself that he did not cuddle. "Hey, you gonna wake up long enough to reassure me that you're okay?" he asked only to laugh at the mutter that earned him. "Fine, wake up long enough that I can kiss you and then you can go back to sleep…bitch."
"Jerk," Sam mumbled on instinct but did finally pry his heavy eyes open enough to blink sleepily at his brother for a long while as if putting the pieces together of what had happened. "Umm, I…do you want me to…"
"Sam, how many times have we made loved or even fooled around that you didn't sleep with me afterwards?" Dean knew Sam's self-confidence had taken a hit thanks to Lucifer and he hoped it was just being tired right then that was making those doubts come out more.
He slipped a hand up to cup Sam's jaw, lifting it a little more so he could kiss him slowly, deeply and with love rather than heat. "You okay?" he asked with concern. "With everything?"
"Yeah, I'm just tired now," Sam yawned, returning the kiss before settling his head back down; hand finding Dean's and letting their palms touch in a way that Dean was noticing his brother was doing more. "I know he's back in the Cage but…there's this little…buzzing in the back of my head that says it's wrong and I can't figure out what," he admitted, lips curving more at the feel of warm lips kissing his hand. "Thanks for…this."
"So long as anything said or done stays within these walls, I won't cut your hair," Dean smirked but still saw Sam's smile as he began to drift back to sleep and felt his body relaxing again. "Even if somehow Lucifer manages to one day get out, we'll deal with him and Amara. Together," he added and silently hoped it would be that simple.
Sam drifted off to sleep and Dean soon followed once he was certain his brother was sleeping fully. Dean didn't care for what Sam was feeling and maybe that was because he also had a cold feeling in his gut that said something was very wrong.
"We'll deal with whatever it is, together," he spoke to himself and the silent room, eyes on Sam's face before finally closing them; confident that Sam was where he belonged and they could face the next crisis when it came.
The End