I
"They...they did this to you. I tried to save you. They wouldn't let me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll never forget this. Forget what they did to you. To us. I...I love you."
Logan wiped his eyes, only to have them fill with tears again. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't. They took her away. And he loved her most of all.
He hugged himself, not for comfort, but for warmth. It was breezy out and he hadn't brought a jacket.
He looked at the rolling hills to his left, and then to his other side, where he saw cherry blossoms fluttering in the breeze from an old tree.
And then he stood, laid down the flowers he brought, turned around, and left.
This wouldn't be the end.
Always And Forever
II
"Hey, wassup, my man?" the guy at the counter said. He held out his hand and Carlos shook it without a thought.
"Nothin' much bro, how 'bout you?" Carlos said.
"Same old same old, you know me, always working at this place, tryin' to get some cash." the guy replied. "So, what can I help you with today?"
"Just this." Carlos told him, referring to the DVD case he put on the counter.
"Hmm, let's see here..." the guy said, looking at the case. "Oh, I'm sorry man, but this is rated R and you're only 16. I can't sell this to you, man."
"But I've already seen this movie!" Carlos protested. "And, I mean, we're buds right, can't you hook me up?" Carlos asked.
"Nah, man, I'm sorry. Can't do that. But hey, why don't you come back here with your mommy and then have her buy it for you?"
III
Kendall sat down next to Logan, giving him a comforting pat on the shoulder. "I'm sorry man." he said.
Logan didn't respond, he just looked in the opposite direction.
"C'mon, Logie. Don't be like that." Kendall said, frowning.
"It hurts so bad, Kenny." Logan said, his face glistening with tears. He finally looked up at Kendall and said boy wanted to cry just looking at Logan's red puffy eyes. He'd never witnessed Logan this sad.
Kendall stood, which made Logan whimper. "Come here," Kendall said, motioning for Logan to stand up.
"Reluctantly, Logan stood and sagged over to Kendall. Kendall immediately pulled Logan in for a tight hug, and rubbed soothing circles into his back. "It's gonna be okay Logie." Kendall said, his eyes now teary.
"They didn't let me save her." Logan sobbed into Kendall's shoulder. "And now she's gone."
Kendall was silent, and for several minutes they stood, hugging and crying. And then Kendall let go.
IV
James smiled at himself in his mirror; he finally reached perfection. His hair was perfectly in line, his eyes had that diamond sparkle and his lips were full and kissable. Finally, he was ready for his date.
He exited his bathroom and headed towards his door, when he realized he forgot to take a mint. He breathed on his hand and smelled it, deciding that his breath smelled fine with a shrug. He left his room and walked downstairs to his kitchen.
"Bye Mom I'll be back by..." he started to say until he noticed the guest eating dinner with his mom. "Who's this?" he asked.
"Oh, honey, hi." his mom said. "This is...well, this is my date, Steve."
"What? Your date? Why didn't you tell me?" he asked irritably.
"Because, well...I thought you'd try to stop me." she said awkwardly.
"Well of course I woyld. Shouldn't...shhouldn't you like...need my approval or something to do this?" James asked.
"Of course not!" his mom said, a little bit louder. "Frankly, James, it's none of your business."
"None of my business?" James asked furiously. "I can't believe this!" He fumbled for words for a moment, before settling on saying, "I'm out of here," and storming out of their modest Minnesota apartment.
This was going to be a terrible date.
V
Do it. Do it now.
No. No, this is stupid. Just put it down.
No do it quick, before you get caught! The pain will distract you.
Just talk to someone. Talking is good.
Logan sighed and put the scissors back on his bed. He couldn't do it. He couldn't hurt himself.
VI
"Help me! Please help me!" Carlos shouted. Someone had to be here. Someone had to-
His thoughts were interrupted by the pain of another blow to his stomach. "What did we tell you? Huh, wetback? Shut up and we won't kill you." the fat boy said; he smelled like fried chicken and beer. Carlos whimpered at the threat.
"So you think you're cool faggot? You think you are some funny little wetback? Well where's your boyfriend now, huh?" the leader said.
"I'm n-not gay." Carlos whispered.
"Shut the fuck up!" the strong one said. He punched Carlos right in the eye. Carlos screamed. "We didn't ask for your opinion."
Carlos wanted so badly to cry, but he knew he couldn't. Not in front of them.
Suddenly a man walked by. Carlos
didn't recognize him; he must've been a janitor or something. "HELP ME! PLEASE!" Carlos croaked out, but the man just looked at him like an animal and walked away.
The fat one laughed and said, "No one gives a shit about you." His breath was hot and stinky and made Carlos gag.
"Next time you think about telling someone something that isn't your business, keep your mouth shut." the leader said, then brought his fist into Carlos's groin. Hard. "Let's go guys." he said, and the three of them walked off, laughing.
A hot tear spilled out of Carlos's eye and he grabbed his crotch. The pain exploded throughout his lower back, and he wanted to scream. His back ached and he squeezed his eyes closed as hard as possible.
No man should have to feel that pain.
Carlos knew it, though, like the back of his hand.
VII
"Hey mom, can I talk to you about something?" Logan asked shyly, rubbing his neck.
"Logan, honey, this is mine and your dad's alone time." she said coldly.
"But mom, it's imp-"
"Not now Logan!"
Logan didn't say anything, he just ran to his room and slammed the door shut before the tears started flowing. He picked up the scissors and dug them into his skin.
VIII
James slowly shut the door to his apartment, careful not to wake his mom. He slowly walked through the kitchen and past his mom's room to his bedroom.
However, he heard a loud noise as he passed his mom's room.
"Mom?" he asked, slowly opening the door. "Are you okay?"
The noise became louder and louder as James opened the door, until finally he saw into the room.
"Oh my God!" James yelled and became paralyzed.
"Oh Steve! Oh my God yes Steve! Yes! Ohhhhh!" his mom moaned.
James ran from the room and made his way to his room where he slammed the door and hugged his lucky comb to his chest.
How could this be happening?
IX
"Carlos! What happened to you?" Kendall exclaimed at seeing the poor small latino standing in his doorway. He had bruises and cuts and a horribly throbbing black eye.
"Some guys beat me up." was all he said.
"Come in. I'll get you some ice and bandaids." Kendall said and Carlos stepped in and made his way to the couch. There, he plopped down and sighed.
He was used to this. Somehow, he always ended up here.
X
Jendall sighed. His mom had done it again. She had forgotten.
Of course, Kendall should've expected it by now. This was what, the third time in the last two months that she had forgotten?
It didn't hurt any less, though. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed his mom's number. The phone rang a few times and Kendall tapped his foot impatiently.
"Hello?" her voice finally said on the other line.
"Hey mom! Hey, did you, uh, forget anything today?" Kendall said.
"Kendall? I don't know what..." She broke off midsentence. "Oh my gosh, your hockey game!" she gasped.
"Yep, you forgot again. You know mom, sometimes I just think that you don't even care." Kendall said, on the verge of tears.
"Kenny, honey, you know I care. It's just...work's been crazy lately and I was so tired. Will you forgive me?" she said guiltily. Kendall didn't reply. "Kendall?"
XI
"Hey mom, I'm home from school!" Logan yelled out to his mother as he entered their impoverish home.
He walked inside, down the hall, and to their kitchen, where he dropped his backpack on the ground. "Mom?"
He walked through all of the rooms on the first floor but didn't find her. She must've been out.
He returned to the kitchen and jumped when he saw his mom standing there with her arms crossed, a paper in one hand.
"What's this, Logan?" was all she said.
"Nice to see you too." he said and walked towards the fridge.
"Answer my question, Logan." she insisted.
Logan sighed and walked over to where she was standing and grabbed the paper. "It's my...report card. Why...?" he said.
"You know why." When he only stared in confusion, she continued, "You got a 2 Bs. 2! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Um...is that a bad thing?"
"Yes, of course it is! What..what happened to your perfect GPA? You used to be so smart!"
"Mom, it's two bs. It's not that big of a deal."
"I can't believe you! I'm so disappointed in you. Why? Why didn't you do better?"
"Are you even kidding me, mom? Why didn't I do better? Maybe it's because I'm sad about the death of the person I care most about in the world! And the fact that my own mom won't talk to me about it because she's too busy getting drunk with and fucking dad! Or maybe it's because I cut myself every night now and you don't even give a rat's ass! So, I'm sorry, mom, that you regret me because of two fucking bs, but that's the best I can do!" Logan screamed at his mom.
She stood shocked for a moment, taking in what he just said.
Finally, her eyes teary, she spoke. "What happened to my baby boy?"
And then Logan ran to his room.
XII
"Logan, what's wrong?"
"Why are your eyes red?"
"Have you been crying?"
"Why were you crying Logie?"
"Guys, guys, let him talk!"
"Well..guys...I called you down here because..."
"Out with it, already, Logan!"
"Do you guys hate adults?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean they're horrible people! All they do is drink, fuck, and hate on young people."
"Logie! Did you just say a bad word?"
"Yes, Carlos. I feel strongly about this."
"Say it again!"
"Carlo...fine! Fuck! Happy?"
"Hehe, I feel naughty!"
"Can we get back on topic?"
"Guys, I know what Logan means."
"You do?"
"Yeah, well...the other day I found out my mom is dating this new guy...Steve. And yeaterday, I caught them...well.."
"Fucking?"
"Yeah. Jeez Logan, addicted to cussing much?"
"Fuck you. But yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about!"
"I hate adults."
"Carlos! You too?"
"Yeah, well...the other day I got beat up by these guys and this adult passed by and he didn't even help. Oh, and this adult guy at the store wouldn't let me buy an R rated movie!"
"Kinda petty, don'tcha think, 'litos?"
"No!"
"Whatever. You guys are crazy."
"You telling us you never get mad at adults, Kendall?"
"Well of course. But I don't hate them. I mean sure, my mom never shows up to my hockey games. And sure, it hurts when she doesn't. And sure, I'm kind of sick of pulling all the weight in my family! I'm only sixteen for God's sake! Ya know what, I do hate adults Loges."
"Good, so we're all on the same page. I called you all here because...for the last few hours I've been planning, and...I think we should run away. Let's just ditch all the problems and adults and run away together."
"Let's do it!"
"Well, as long as my beautiful face doesn't end up in prison!"
"Wait wait wait, guys. Think about what you're saying! Run away? Just leave? That's crazy."
"So you're in, Kendall?"
"When do we leave?"
"As soon as fucking possible!
"Oh man, this is so exciting!"
"I know. And don't worry, I have everything planned out. We can run away from pressure and adults. And we can stay young. Forever. Always and Forever."
XIII
They ran. They ran towards the freedom that awaited them, not a care in the world.
All they each had was a backpack with clothes. That morning, they told their families they were just hanging out.
But they weren't going to return.
"So, where are we going, Logain?" Carlos asked playfully.
"The only place where we can be truly free, Carlitos." was all Logan said in reply.
So they entered the forest, feeling the sunlight on their shoulders and the freedom in their hearts.
XIV
"Look what we caught, guys!" Logan called out excitedly to James and Kendall. Said boys got up and walked over to Logan and Carlos to admire their catch.
"Woah, that one is huge!" Kendall exclaimed.
"Aw, is it dead? Poor thing!" James remarked.
"Help...me...Jamie!" Carlos pantomimed with the fish. Everyone laughed, except for James.
"Just don't let me see you cook it." Jamea said, putting his hands up.
"Huh, I never would've thought you were sensitive like that, James." Kendall said.
"Tonight, we eat like kings!" Carlos exclaimed, not giving James the chance to respond and the boys all whooped and hollered at the catch.
XV
"Man, guys, I was having doubts about this, but I have to admit, this has been one of the best nights of my life." James said. The four boys were laying in a circle, with their heads meeting in the center. They were all staring up at the stars in amazement.
"Mmhm." Logan hummed in response. He was lying with his hands behind his head.
"The stars are beautiful." Carlos added. He was simply lying with his hands by his sides.
"Yeah, they are." James agreed. He was laying with one arm across his forehead and the other across his stomach.
"I hope things are always like this." Carlos said.
"They will be." Logan said. "Always and forever."
"That's so cheesy." Carlos said. He was smiling though. "Always and forever..."
"Always and forever." James repeated.
"Yup." Kendall said. He was laying with his arms crossed.
XVI
Carlos smiled as his eyes fluttered open and he felt the sunlight spread across his body. Apparently they had all fallen asleep gazing at the stars.
He stood and smiled at how surprisingly not sore his back was. The ground had actually been fairly comfortable to lay on.
What a great morning.
XVII
"James, get down from there! That's dangerous!" Logan yelled.
"It'll be fine. Calm down, Loges." Carlos said, patting Logan's back.
"Alright guys, here I go!" James yelled.
Logan closed his eyes as everyone went silent. James's yelling then filled the air, followed by a splash. He didn't open his eyes until he heard James's victory shouts. It was then he released a sigh of relief.
They all rushed over to James to congratulate him; that's when Logan knew something was wrong.
The water around James was bright red. His face was one of pain instead of happiness.
"Oh my God, James. What happened, what's wrong?" Logan asked.
"I-I think I cut my leg." James said through gritted teeth.
"Oh God! Okay, let's get him out of the water guys. J-Just don't panick!" Logan said.
Together, with many screams of pain from James, they pulled him out of the water.
And they saw he had a deep cut extending from his ankle to his lower thigh.
XVIII
"Hey guys, you know what I just realized?" Logan asked.
"What?"
"It's my birthday today."
There was a moment of silence until Carlos jumped up, pulling Logan up with him. "Well then it looks like tonight, we're celebrating! I-I think we might have an extra fish we can spare, and hey, maybe we can-" Carlos started to say, but Logan interrupted him.
"No, Carlos, I don't want to celebrate. When we came out here, we agreed we'd stay kids forever. So why would we celebrate birthdays? We shouldn't be celebrating the exact thing we came out here to avoid."
"But Logie!" Carlos started to protest.
"Carlos, if he doesn't want to, that's his choice." Kendall said grumpily.
Carlos plopped down with a defeated, "umph." He just wanted to cheer everyone up; ever since James's little accident, everyone had been way too serious.
Logan looked off into the distance and sighed. He was technically 17 now. Would he be able to avoid growing up? Would he...change?
No, he couldn't. He wouldn't let that happen.
XIX
"No, seriously, guys, go have fun. Don't let me hold you back." James told the others. He had been trying to convince them to go have fun for like an hour.
Finally, with a defeated sigh, Kendall gave up. "Alright, guys. Let's go..."
Carlos released a victory shout and flung his shirt and shorts off. "Last one to the river cooks tonight's dinner!" he said then he ran off towards the distance.
Kendall and Logan soon chased him, and James smirked at the sight of Kendall and Logan running after an underwear-clad Carlos.
He shifted just the slightest bit and his smile immediately disappeared. He hadn't told anyone, but his leg was getting worse. Any movement caused unbelievable pain.
What was gonna happen? He couldn't break his promise but if he stayed there, his leg would get infected. He would die.
XX
The sun filtered through the trees as it rose, bringing yet another morning.
Logan smiled at the warmth. He had been awake for the last hours and it was freezing; the sunlight was a great relief.
He got up and was about to go bathe when he noticed something.
He quickly woke the others and got their attention.
"What, Logan?" James moaned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
"Where's Kendall?"
"He's right...here?" Carlos said, looking to his left but finding nothing. "He was right here."
"He's probably bathing." James said.
"I'll go check." Carlos said then he got up and ran off toward the river.
Several minutes latet he returned with a grim look on his face.
XXI
"Alright, James, here's your dinner. Logan said sadly. He handed James a portion of fish on a leaf.
"Thanks, Logan. I guess."
Logan smiled but James only scowled more because he knew it was forced.
Logan stepped away from James but made the mistake of brushing against his leg.
"Ugggghh!" James screamed and salt bolt upright. "Damn it Logan, why not just step on it?" he hissed.
"Sorry, James, I didn't know you were in that much pain." Logan retorted. "Maybe I should look at it..."
"No!" James growled and held his hands up defensively.
Logan rolled his eyes and slapped James's hand away. "I need to see if you're fine. Do you want to get infected?" Logan said. James gave in and put his hands down. He gulped.
Logan slowly pulled his pant leg up amidst James's screams.
He gasped when he saw James's cut. It has white and yellow spots all over and was weeping pus in several places, and his veins were starting to turn black around the cut.
"Oh God, James..."
XXII
"Oh God, James...it...it's infected! This is bad. Bad bad bad."
"What! No! W-What's gonna happen to me?" James asked panickedly.
"W-Well, without medicine, I think the only option is to...amputate it." Logan said quietly.
James's eyes grew wide and he quickly started shaking his head. "N-No! I-I can't! I-I can't!"
"James, you have to. You'll die if we don't."
"No, I-I've gotta get out of here." James grunted as he stood. His face contorted with pain.
"No, James, please! You promised! You'll be fine, I swear!"
"I'm sorry." James said. He turned and began to limp away.
Carlos looked down and Logan watched James with teary eyes. After he got about ten feet away, he called out, "Please, James. You promised."
James barely looked back. He was holding himself steady on a nearby tree. "I'm sorry." he said.
XXIII
"Logie, I'm sorry."
"I-I can't believe he broke his promise."
"Well, Logan, he had to get medical help. Can you really blame him?"
"Yes!"
"Well, I'm still here. That counts for something, right?"
"I guess."
"You guess? Fine then, I'm not talking to you."
"Carlos, I'm sorry. I love that you're here."
"Aw, it's ok. I was just teasing. Looks like we're gonna be spending the rest of our lives together, huh Logie?"
"...I guess it does, 'litos. So what, are we like husband and wife now?"
"Sorry, you gotta buy me dinner first haha. But if we were, you'd totally be the wife."
"I would not! I'm manly!"
"Whatever you say, Mrs. Mitchell."
"Oh ha-ha, you're hilarious!"
I know, I know...hey Logan?"
"Yeah, Carlos?"
...
"Wow, Carlos."
"Sorry. Sorry. I'm..."
"No, it's fine. So, the rest of our lives, huh?"
"Yeah..."
"Every single day, together. For 60 something years."
"...Yeah."
XXIV
"Hey Logan, how long do you think we've been traveling?" Carlos asked. He popped a berry in his mouth.
"Well, we started when the police almost found us and that was when I was...18? So a couple of years."
"Where do you think we are now?"
"Probably somewhere in Canada."
"Do you think we could go to Mexico someday?"
Logan chuckled. "Sure, buddy. Someday."
XXV
"Logan I'm bored." Carlos whined.
"So, what do you want me to do about it?"
"I don't know. So are we going to Mexico soon?"
"Sure."
XXVI
"Logan, I'm bored."
"Logan, I'm bored." Logan mocked.
XXVII
"Carlos, I'm so bored!"
"Well so am I!"
XVIII
"Carlos, I'm bored."
"Logan we've both been bored for the past five years! Just give me some alone time, okay?"
XXIX
"Ow!" Carlos exclaimed.
"What's wrong?" Logan asked.
"Nothing. You couldn't do anything about it, anyways."
XXX
"Listen, Logan, I've been thinking, and..."
"What is it? Logan asked.
"I think I'm gonna go." Carlos said.
"What! Why?"
"Because this is a waste of my life! I've wasted six years of my life out in the wilderness, bored! Maybe you should consider coming too."
"N-No, I can't." Logan said, his eyes teary.
"Why not Logan! Don't you want to make something of your life?"
"I can't! I promised myself!"
"Why? What's the point?"
"The point is, Carlos, that they took her away from me! I loved her more than the world, and she died! I knew how to save her! I COULD'VE SAVED HER LIFE! And they wouldn't let me! B-Because I was a kid!" Logan yelled. He was crying hysterically now.
"Ugh, you're still on that?"
"I loved her..."
"Whatever, I'm out of here. Grow up already, Logan."
"No...no! What happened to always and forever? What happened to our promise?"
"Nothing can last forever. You have to grow up. You can't be a kid for the rest of your life! That's what happened."
"N-No, p-please!" Logan begged. But it was too late. He was gone.
And then Logan cried.
XXXI
"Hey mister, who are you?" the boy asked. He was looking up at a greasy, dirty man he had found wandering the beach.
"I'm...I'm a kid, just like you." the man said hesitantly.
"Cool!" the boy exclaimed. "Where are you from?"
"I'm from...well, I don't really remember. I've been to lots of places."
"Have you been to...um...Mezco?" the boy asked curiously.
"Well, that's where we are right now, silly." the man said with a chuckle.
"Oh yeah."
"You know, you remind me of a friend I used to know...I promised him we'd come here."
"What happened?" the child asked.
"He...he broke a promise."
"My daddy says you should never EVER break a promise!" the boy mumbled. Suddenly he looked over his shoulder like he heard his name called. "I...have to go. Bye mister!" he giggled, then ran off.
"Could it be? No...no, it's just a coincidence." the man said. He inhaled and sighed deeply, then turned around and walked away.
XXXII
"Um, excuse me, sir?"
"Yes?"
"Were you just talking to a small boy?"
"Yes, why?" the man confirmed.
"Well, he was just telling me about you, and...would you happen to be Logan?"
"Y-Yes, I think that was what my name is. Do I-Do I know you?" Logan asked the boy's father.
"Well, of...actually, no. I don't think I do. It's just, I grew up in the same Minnesotan town as you, and you were all over the news at one point."
"Ah, I see."
"Yes...so, are you still up to...wandering?"
"Yes, I am. You see, I made a promise to my friends a long time ago that I would never grow up, and I never did."
"Hm. That seems a bit ridiculous, but...to each his own, I suppose." There was an awkward silence until he added, "Well, I better get going. When it comes to vacations my b-girlfriend is very, well, schedule-y for a lack of a better term. Nice to see you."
"Same to you, friend."
"That's silly, we hardly know each other."
"I guess it's a kid thing." Logan said with a smirk. Then he watched the man turn around and walk away.
Logan smiled. He and Carlos went to Mexico together after all.
XXXIII
"Hello, Kendall." Carlos said as Kendall entered the break room. He filled a cup with water, as usual, and stuck it in the microwave.
"Hello, Carlos." he said. The microwave beeped and he stuck a teabag in the cup, then sat down next to Carlos.
Carlos turned the page to the newspaper he was reading loudly. "Did you hear about Logan?"
"No, what about him?"
Carlos told him.
"Wow, that is...quite bland." Kendall spoke.
"Yes, quite." Carlos spoke.
Kendall accidentally spilled some earl gray tea on his grey suit. "Shoot."
"What?"
"I accidentally spilled some earl gray tea on my new, gray suit."
"What a shame."
"Yes, quite. Anyways, It's disappointing to hear Logan never grew up."
"Yes, what a pitiful existence." Carlos said, shaking his head. "Well, I've got to getback to work." he said as he folded his newspaper and stood. As he set down his newspaper on the gray table, he frowned.
"What's the matter?" Kendall asked.
"Oh, nothing, I was just remembering something."
"That's quite nostalgic." Kendall said.
"Yes, quite." And witnh that, Carlos went back to work.
As soon as Kendall finished his tea, he set his gray teacup in the sink and also went back to work, leaving the break room empty.
Silent and empty.
The End.