2 Girls, 1 Cup Reaction: FMA Style

A/N: Okay, this isn't supposed to be taken seriously. No, I haven't seen 2 Girls, 1 Cup because I value my life too much. This is just a reaction for Ed, Al, Winry, Roy, Riza, and Hoenheim. Enjoy! I don't anything, just the idea!

"What are we watching anyways?" asked Ed as Jean Havoc pulled up a window on his computer.

"You'll see," replied Havoc nervously, clicking the 'play' button on the video.

In the office sat Roy with his wife Riza on his lap, Ed with his wife of one year Winry on his knee, Al, and Hoenheim, Ed and Al's father. As the video played, they saw this was a lesbian porn thing and, little did they know, they were being recorded.

"Ooh," said Roy teasingly, "hot lesbians. Roy likes."

Riza rolled her eyes and lightly smacked him on the chest.

Then, the disgusting happened: the porn girls pulled out a cup and—

"IS THAT SHIT!?" screamed Ed, nearly knocking his wife off his lap, not bothering to watch his language.

For once, no one reproved him because they were shocked too.

(Ed POV)

I've seen hell but what I saw made me wish for hell. The two hotties on the screen began defecating in a cup and—

"Oh shit, its shit!" I screamed, eyes bugging out. "They're eating it! What the fuck!"

I knew I would never be the same because of this video from hell. For once, I believed there were a God and a Devil because this video was full of demons. I, Edward Elric, an agnostic former Alchemist, actually began praying it would end soon.

(Winry POV)

"AHH!" I screamed, burying my mouth and nose in Ed's shirt.

I wanted to pull my eyes away but I couldn't because it was like watching a car accident: You could only watch no matter how hard it was. For a second, the fecal matter looked like chocolate ice cream. I made a pact there never to touch chocolate ice cream again.

I knew one thing, this was worse than discovering Scar killed my parents.

(Al POV)

I had never been so scared in my whole life. Despite being eighteen, I clung to my father's arm and prayed for protection. The girls began vomiting—yes, vomiting!—into the cup too.

"Oh, dear God, why!?" I nearly wept, clinging to my dad like a little kid. "This is the works of Satan!"

No one disagreed with me because I was right, and sometimes I hated being right.

(Hoenheim POV)

I've lived many years and seen hell but this was far worse than hell itself. The girls were attractive but they were doing something so wrong and un-kosher that I couldn't wrap my mind around it.

"Tell me that's not real," I groaned, rubbing my temples. "Oh my God! Oh! Sick! Ew!"

Normally, I would be ashamed for making such sounds but it was so wrong. Despite being strong, I nearly threw up myself. I felt Al cling to my arm and I patted him gently to let him know I was there. Suddenly, Ed leapt onto my lap and clung to the lapels of my shirt.

Something had to be wrong if Ed, the son who hated me, was actually looking for comfort from me, the father he hated, but it was understandable. I wished brain bleach was invented so I could block this horrible sight out!

(Roy POV)

I've seen war, I've killed people, and I've seen hell, but nothing compared to this. I cupped my hands around my mouth and gagged. How could hot girls do something so evil!? Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did.

"Oh hell no!" I shouted in disgust. "No! Don't do it! Don't—Oh, you sick bitches! Ugh!"

My poor wife clung to me as we watched this unfold. All I knew was that I would never look at chocolate ice cream the same way again. Suddenly, I wished I was blind again, just so I didn't see this anymore.

(Riza POV)

I wanted to pull out my pistol and shoot the screen but I was too damned shocked to move so instead I held onto Roy, who was in shock too.

"Oh my God!" I cried in disgust. "Oh…my God! Havoc, turn this off! This is fucking disgusting! Ugh!"

Suddenly, it got worse at the last few seconds.

"Why!?" I screamed, on the verge of tears, burying my face into Roy's chest.

When it finally ended, I lifted my head up and nearly wept from this infliction.

(Normal POV)

"That was so fucking disgusting, Havoc," squeaked Ed, gagging as he looked to the guilty soldier.

It was there that they finally noticed the camera near Havoc. He taped their reaction to this depraved smut but they didn't care. They were still recovering from the shock.

"Everyone," said Roy, looking straight into the camera, "don't look at that video. Don't look at it. I'm a soldier, but…oh God…"

"Just don't watch it," added Ed numbly, looking at the camera too. "You'll rue the day if you do…"

Then, Havoc stopped the recording and the door flew open to Hughes holding a carton of ice cream.

"Hey, guys," he greeted brightly, blissfully unaware of the mental trauma, "I got chocolate ice cream. Anybody want some?"

All six people around the computer let out screams and dashed out of the room as fast as they could, leaving Havoc and Hughes alone with the monitor.

"Hmm, what's this?" asked Hughes, pressing the 'play' button to the video.

A few seconds later, everyone could hear a loud scream come from the office and they knew why. It was all because of that damned video.

From that day on, poor Hughes had never been the same.

~Fin~

A/N: Yes, Hoenheim and Hughes are alive in this but it was needed! I hope you get some laughs out of this, but seriously don't look at that video! I've read enough to know what it's about! Well, bye-bye, and R&R!