Once again, lads and lasses, we have come up with something new to add to our list of crazy, insane, and mortally life endangering humor stories.
Disclaimer~We own NOTHING!...Except a few OC's in the future.
~A DAy In The Married Life!~
::Remus+Sirius=Puppies?::
"MOMMY!,"came a shrill female cry,"MOMMMMMYYYYYYYY!" "Yes, sweety?" "MOMMMYMOMMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMMY!" "Yesyesyesyesyes?"
A two year old girl ran into the the main bedroom of Lupin-Black Manor. Yes, you heard right. Lupin-Black.
You see, after Harry's fourth year, Sirius had been cleared of all charges. So, Sirius had been able to seek out his past lover, whom he still loved very much, Remus Lupin. Sirius had proposed and at least a year later, the two married.
That's where the fun started. A few years later, three to be precise, the two decided they wanted to hear the sound of little feet and giggles in their home. So, after a few male fertility potions, a few weeks of trying, and about 9 months of moodiness, Remus lay in St Mungo's screaming his head off at Sirius, breaking his husband's hand in the process. That is when their first child was born. On a sunny day in June, at 1:16 in the afternoon, Orion Lupin-Black came into the world.
Four years later, Remus once again lay in pain in the wizard hospital as their next child made their way into the world. A girl this time. At about 2 in the morning, Audrey Lupin-Black was born.
And, finally, their last little bundle of joy came exactly one year ago. This time, quite a surprise. Remus had been happy to tell Sirius that he would soon father twins, but wasn't too happy when they decided they wanted to join their little family. On a snowy night in January, at half past 9, James and Lily Lupin-Black were born.
So, considering the time that has passed, Orion is seven, Audrey is three, and the twins are a year old old. So, let's enter a day in the married life of Remus and Sirius Lupin-Black....
"MOOOOMMMMMMMY!,"screamed Audrey, running into her "Mommy's" room. She entered to find her "Mommy" laying there, resting his head on her Daddy's chest, reading tiredly.
"Yes, Audrey?,"Remus answered. Tears welled in the little girls eyes. "Mommy, Orion took my bunny!," she screamed, the tears now falling down her small face.
Sirius chuckled as Remus sighed in a mock irritated way. For two reasons. One, Audrey LOVED to call Remus "Mommy" Ever since Sirius told her how much it erked Remus, she called him that every chance she got. Two, Audrey had been obsessed with her pink stuffed bunny since she was a baby. She never went anywhere in the house without it. And if she did, it wasn't pretty.
"First of all, Audrey, what did we tell you about screaming?,"asked Remus sternly. Audrey sniffled,l wiping her eyes. "Don't s-scream 'cause I'll w-w-wake up the twins?" "That's right,"interjected Sirius,"So, instead of screaming, just tell your brother to give you back your bunny or Daddy will have to take away his favorite toy for a week."
Audrey smiled tearfully, knowing her brother would give in. After giving both her parents a hug, she set off to find her older brother.
Once their daughter had left, Sirius burst out laughing. "She still calls you Mommy! I taught my girl well," he managed to say through his laughter.
Remus swatted his shoulder, sitting up. "Sirius, tone it down. I just-"
The wail of a baby rang through the house, followed by a twin in the same pitch.
"-...I JUST got the twins back to sleep,"Remus muttered tiredly. With an angry sigh, he got out of bed and made his way to the next room where their youngest children resided.
"Shh, quiet Lily. Daddy's here,"Remus muttered, holding his daughter.
Now, in case of confusion, remember this, Remus gave birth to the kids here. So, he may be called "Mommy" at times. But, when no one is joking around, it's Daddy. Sirius is Dad. Just to clear that up.
Lily gave a hiccup as the tears and screaming subsided. "Thats' right,"Remus cooed softly,"No more tears from my little girl, right?"
Sirius walked in and picked up James. "Hey, Jimmy,"he said,as if the baby could understand,"How's my little guy this morning?" James gave a small sound of contentment when Sirius picked him up.
"ORION GIVE IT BACK!,"came a yell. In an instant, James and Lily began to wail again. Remus gave a growl of irritation and rubbed the bridge of his nose. A sign of an approaching migraine. "I'll go,"offered Sirius, lulling James back into a state of sleep. "Thanks, love,"Remus said, turning his attentions back to the infant in his arms.
"Come on,Lily. Stop crying,"Remus begged,"Please stop. Daddy needs a few hours of sleep."
::Afternoon::
Sirius sat in his favorite chair in the livingroom, quietly sipping coffee and reading the Daily Prophet, a laughing Lily and James sitting in the play pen a few feet away, smiling at him.
Audrey was in her room taking a nap. Orion was cleaning his room, a punishment for taking his sister's bunny and waking the twins. And Remus....Well, Remus was laying on the couch, off in dreamland for an hour or two.
James gave a cute baby giggle. Sirius looked up from the paper to look at his laughing son. "What's so funny, little guy?," he asked jokingly. Lily gave a little giggle and pointed to Remus. "Ada?," she slurred in her developing baby speech.
"Yes, Lils, Daddy's asleep,"Sirius said, chuckling silently in his mind. James gave another laugh. "Funny!,"squealed James, tipping over in laughter.
Sirius looked over to Remus to see what was so funny. Remus lay there, his silver streaked Sandy brown hair, which was now shoulder length and usually in an elegant ponytail,strewn over his thin face. He was curled into a ball, one arm hanging over the edge of the couch, dangling in the air. The gold-rimmed reading glasses on his face were slightly crooked as he slept. Remus' mouth w3as slightly open, revealing sharp white teeth.
Sirius couldn't help but laugh at his husband's antics. "Mind telling me why I'm so funny?,"Remus muttered, apparently awake. "You,"Sirius said, still laughing.
Remus smiled and got up, his hair going into his bright amber eyes. As Sirius laughter grew louder, Remus pulled his hair back into its usual ponytail at the base of his neck. "Haha, very funny, Mister Black,"he mocked. With a swift movement, Remus walked up to the kitchen going through their cupboards. "Have all the kids eaten, Sirius?" "Yes, Remmie. Can I not be trusted to feed my own offspring?,"Sirius joked. "Well, there was that one incident with Harry as a baby. The food ended up on the wall instead-" "OKAY! I get it!,"Sirius yelled exasperatedly.
Now, Remus was usually a very understanding, calm person. But, lately his nerves had been frayed and burnt down to the stubs. Add this to extreme tiredness and a nearing full moon, and Remus could be quite....tempermental, to say the least.
"Sirius Black, do NOT yell at me!,"he snapped, his eyes flaring. "Who said I was yelling?!,"Sirius argued, his voice rising. "I did!,"Remus screamed, his eyes flaring.
"You are too!,"Sirius argued, getting angry. "Well-"
Remus stopped as he heard two whimpers coming from Lily and James. Glaring at Sirius, he growled,"Let's take this into the kitchen."
Sirius brushed past Remus, casting a silencing spell on the room. Remus entered, closing the door behind him. But once the door closed, he blew up. "SIRIUS BLACK, HOW DARE YOU YELL AT ME!" "ME?! YOU WERE YELLING AT ME!" "YOU STARTED IT!"
Sirius looked abashed. "I started it?! You're the one insinuating that I can't feed my own kids!" "Do NOT change the subject!" "Change the subject, huh? What about all those times you failed to tell me about Snape hitting on you in fifth year?!"
Something in Remus snapped. He picked up a glass on the table, still full of water, and chucked it in Sirius' direction. "Sirius, that did NOT HAPPEN! And if we're on the subject of fifth year, let's discuss the time you LED SNAPE RIGHT TO ME ON THAT NIGHT OF THE FULL MOON!"
With his eyes clouded with tears of pure rage, Remus ran upstairs.
Sirius sat on the counter, a hand over his eyes. He heaved a sigh. "Remus Lupin, you're lucky I love you,"he muttered.
::That Night::
After the fight, Remus had retreated to his and Sirius' bedroom. He lay on the bed, staring at the wall. It was at least four hours since had stormed up those steps.
Sirius sat in the kitchen, eating dinner with all four of his offspring. "Ada?,"Lily gurgled. "Sirius gave her a sad smile. "Daddy's upstairs, sweety. He's...tired."
At about 8 that night, all children were asleep. Sirius cautiously walked into his and Remus' bed room. "Remmie?"
"Don't use that tone with me, Sirius,"Remus snapped. "What do you want? To yell at me a little more?"
"Remmie, please don't do this. I didn't mean anything I said!"
Remus merely lay there, his back to Sirius. "Please, Remus. You know I wuv you!,"Sirius said cutely. He stepped in front of Remus face and gave him the puppy eyes.
Remus looked into his husband's eyes and melted at those adorable navy blue eyes. "You're lucky I love you, Sirius Black,"he said, smiling for the first time in hours.
Sirius' heart could have burst with happiness if it were possible. Remmie loved him again! YAY! ^__^
"Hey, Sirius,"Remus purred,"I haven't gotten any kisses today." "Oh yes. That needs to be fixed,"said Sirius, moving in. He wrapped his arm around Remus waist and....Well, I think you know where this is going. But, we'll leave you to add in the details youreslf...
::9 Months Later::
"DAMN YOU SIRIUS BLACK!,"Remus screamed. Once again, he lay in a hospital bed in St. Mungo's. Once again, one of Sirius' babies causing him internal pain. Once again, Sirius was being yelled at...HA!
"Remmie, I'm sorry! I-" "DON"T REMMIE ME! IT'S YOUR FAULT THIS BABY IS PUSHING ITS WAY OUT OF ME! OWWWWWWWWW! DAMNIT!"
'Note to self,'Sirius thought as Remus crushed his hand,'No kissing after fights with Remus.'
~End of Chapter One~
Review~
VOTE! WHO'S NEXT!
A) Hermione and Ron
B)Draco and Ginny
c)Severus and an OC
Disclaimer~We own NOTHING!...Except a few OC's in the future.
~A DAy In The Married Life!~
::Remus+Sirius=Puppies?::
"MOMMY!,"came a shrill female cry,"MOMMMMMYYYYYYYY!" "Yes, sweety?" "MOMMMYMOMMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMMY!" "Yesyesyesyesyes?"
A two year old girl ran into the the main bedroom of Lupin-Black Manor. Yes, you heard right. Lupin-Black.
You see, after Harry's fourth year, Sirius had been cleared of all charges. So, Sirius had been able to seek out his past lover, whom he still loved very much, Remus Lupin. Sirius had proposed and at least a year later, the two married.
That's where the fun started. A few years later, three to be precise, the two decided they wanted to hear the sound of little feet and giggles in their home. So, after a few male fertility potions, a few weeks of trying, and about 9 months of moodiness, Remus lay in St Mungo's screaming his head off at Sirius, breaking his husband's hand in the process. That is when their first child was born. On a sunny day in June, at 1:16 in the afternoon, Orion Lupin-Black came into the world.
Four years later, Remus once again lay in pain in the wizard hospital as their next child made their way into the world. A girl this time. At about 2 in the morning, Audrey Lupin-Black was born.
And, finally, their last little bundle of joy came exactly one year ago. This time, quite a surprise. Remus had been happy to tell Sirius that he would soon father twins, but wasn't too happy when they decided they wanted to join their little family. On a snowy night in January, at half past 9, James and Lily Lupin-Black were born.
So, considering the time that has passed, Orion is seven, Audrey is three, and the twins are a year old old. So, let's enter a day in the married life of Remus and Sirius Lupin-Black....
"MOOOOMMMMMMMY!,"screamed Audrey, running into her "Mommy's" room. She entered to find her "Mommy" laying there, resting his head on her Daddy's chest, reading tiredly.
"Yes, Audrey?,"Remus answered. Tears welled in the little girls eyes. "Mommy, Orion took my bunny!," she screamed, the tears now falling down her small face.
Sirius chuckled as Remus sighed in a mock irritated way. For two reasons. One, Audrey LOVED to call Remus "Mommy" Ever since Sirius told her how much it erked Remus, she called him that every chance she got. Two, Audrey had been obsessed with her pink stuffed bunny since she was a baby. She never went anywhere in the house without it. And if she did, it wasn't pretty.
"First of all, Audrey, what did we tell you about screaming?,"asked Remus sternly. Audrey sniffled,l wiping her eyes. "Don't s-scream 'cause I'll w-w-wake up the twins?" "That's right,"interjected Sirius,"So, instead of screaming, just tell your brother to give you back your bunny or Daddy will have to take away his favorite toy for a week."
Audrey smiled tearfully, knowing her brother would give in. After giving both her parents a hug, she set off to find her older brother.
Once their daughter had left, Sirius burst out laughing. "She still calls you Mommy! I taught my girl well," he managed to say through his laughter.
Remus swatted his shoulder, sitting up. "Sirius, tone it down. I just-"
The wail of a baby rang through the house, followed by a twin in the same pitch.
"-...I JUST got the twins back to sleep,"Remus muttered tiredly. With an angry sigh, he got out of bed and made his way to the next room where their youngest children resided.
"Shh, quiet Lily. Daddy's here,"Remus muttered, holding his daughter.
Now, in case of confusion, remember this, Remus gave birth to the kids here. So, he may be called "Mommy" at times. But, when no one is joking around, it's Daddy. Sirius is Dad. Just to clear that up.
Lily gave a hiccup as the tears and screaming subsided. "Thats' right,"Remus cooed softly,"No more tears from my little girl, right?"
Sirius walked in and picked up James. "Hey, Jimmy,"he said,as if the baby could understand,"How's my little guy this morning?" James gave a small sound of contentment when Sirius picked him up.
"ORION GIVE IT BACK!,"came a yell. In an instant, James and Lily began to wail again. Remus gave a growl of irritation and rubbed the bridge of his nose. A sign of an approaching migraine. "I'll go,"offered Sirius, lulling James back into a state of sleep. "Thanks, love,"Remus said, turning his attentions back to the infant in his arms.
"Come on,Lily. Stop crying,"Remus begged,"Please stop. Daddy needs a few hours of sleep."
::Afternoon::
Sirius sat in his favorite chair in the livingroom, quietly sipping coffee and reading the Daily Prophet, a laughing Lily and James sitting in the play pen a few feet away, smiling at him.
Audrey was in her room taking a nap. Orion was cleaning his room, a punishment for taking his sister's bunny and waking the twins. And Remus....Well, Remus was laying on the couch, off in dreamland for an hour or two.
James gave a cute baby giggle. Sirius looked up from the paper to look at his laughing son. "What's so funny, little guy?," he asked jokingly. Lily gave a little giggle and pointed to Remus. "Ada?," she slurred in her developing baby speech.
"Yes, Lils, Daddy's asleep,"Sirius said, chuckling silently in his mind. James gave another laugh. "Funny!,"squealed James, tipping over in laughter.
Sirius looked over to Remus to see what was so funny. Remus lay there, his silver streaked Sandy brown hair, which was now shoulder length and usually in an elegant ponytail,strewn over his thin face. He was curled into a ball, one arm hanging over the edge of the couch, dangling in the air. The gold-rimmed reading glasses on his face were slightly crooked as he slept. Remus' mouth w3as slightly open, revealing sharp white teeth.
Sirius couldn't help but laugh at his husband's antics. "Mind telling me why I'm so funny?,"Remus muttered, apparently awake. "You,"Sirius said, still laughing.
Remus smiled and got up, his hair going into his bright amber eyes. As Sirius laughter grew louder, Remus pulled his hair back into its usual ponytail at the base of his neck. "Haha, very funny, Mister Black,"he mocked. With a swift movement, Remus walked up to the kitchen going through their cupboards. "Have all the kids eaten, Sirius?" "Yes, Remmie. Can I not be trusted to feed my own offspring?,"Sirius joked. "Well, there was that one incident with Harry as a baby. The food ended up on the wall instead-" "OKAY! I get it!,"Sirius yelled exasperatedly.
Now, Remus was usually a very understanding, calm person. But, lately his nerves had been frayed and burnt down to the stubs. Add this to extreme tiredness and a nearing full moon, and Remus could be quite....tempermental, to say the least.
"Sirius Black, do NOT yell at me!,"he snapped, his eyes flaring. "Who said I was yelling?!,"Sirius argued, his voice rising. "I did!,"Remus screamed, his eyes flaring.
"You are too!,"Sirius argued, getting angry. "Well-"
Remus stopped as he heard two whimpers coming from Lily and James. Glaring at Sirius, he growled,"Let's take this into the kitchen."
Sirius brushed past Remus, casting a silencing spell on the room. Remus entered, closing the door behind him. But once the door closed, he blew up. "SIRIUS BLACK, HOW DARE YOU YELL AT ME!" "ME?! YOU WERE YELLING AT ME!" "YOU STARTED IT!"
Sirius looked abashed. "I started it?! You're the one insinuating that I can't feed my own kids!" "Do NOT change the subject!" "Change the subject, huh? What about all those times you failed to tell me about Snape hitting on you in fifth year?!"
Something in Remus snapped. He picked up a glass on the table, still full of water, and chucked it in Sirius' direction. "Sirius, that did NOT HAPPEN! And if we're on the subject of fifth year, let's discuss the time you LED SNAPE RIGHT TO ME ON THAT NIGHT OF THE FULL MOON!"
With his eyes clouded with tears of pure rage, Remus ran upstairs.
Sirius sat on the counter, a hand over his eyes. He heaved a sigh. "Remus Lupin, you're lucky I love you,"he muttered.
::That Night::
After the fight, Remus had retreated to his and Sirius' bedroom. He lay on the bed, staring at the wall. It was at least four hours since had stormed up those steps.
Sirius sat in the kitchen, eating dinner with all four of his offspring. "Ada?,"Lily gurgled. "Sirius gave her a sad smile. "Daddy's upstairs, sweety. He's...tired."
At about 8 that night, all children were asleep. Sirius cautiously walked into his and Remus' bed room. "Remmie?"
"Don't use that tone with me, Sirius,"Remus snapped. "What do you want? To yell at me a little more?"
"Remmie, please don't do this. I didn't mean anything I said!"
Remus merely lay there, his back to Sirius. "Please, Remus. You know I wuv you!,"Sirius said cutely. He stepped in front of Remus face and gave him the puppy eyes.
Remus looked into his husband's eyes and melted at those adorable navy blue eyes. "You're lucky I love you, Sirius Black,"he said, smiling for the first time in hours.
Sirius' heart could have burst with happiness if it were possible. Remmie loved him again! YAY! ^__^
"Hey, Sirius,"Remus purred,"I haven't gotten any kisses today." "Oh yes. That needs to be fixed,"said Sirius, moving in. He wrapped his arm around Remus waist and....Well, I think you know where this is going. But, we'll leave you to add in the details youreslf...
::9 Months Later::
"DAMN YOU SIRIUS BLACK!,"Remus screamed. Once again, he lay in a hospital bed in St. Mungo's. Once again, one of Sirius' babies causing him internal pain. Once again, Sirius was being yelled at...HA!
"Remmie, I'm sorry! I-" "DON"T REMMIE ME! IT'S YOUR FAULT THIS BABY IS PUSHING ITS WAY OUT OF ME! OWWWWWWWWW! DAMNIT!"
'Note to self,'Sirius thought as Remus crushed his hand,'No kissing after fights with Remus.'
~End of Chapter One~
Review~
VOTE! WHO'S NEXT!
A) Hermione and Ron
B)Draco and Ginny
c)Severus and an OC