"Heloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo EVREH BAH-DEH!"
*Sings Michale Jackson*
"I'm back! I'm back!
You know it, Ya know!
And the whole world knows, I'm back, and I'm proud,
Gonna tell you once again...
I'M BACK!"
...
Never speak of this!...L(#,.,.,*)-C
...
Hey, guy's! I missed you a lot, and I hope this small story will hold you off until I can get on, soooooooooooooo, here it is... (-U-)...
Dis-claim-a-nator: I have never, nor will ever, own the the portal game OR it's franchise, INCLUDING the portal gun...But if I DID...:
"I would shoot a blue portal in the bottom of my pool, fill it with cow shit, drive to where ever J.B. lives, shoot an orange one over his head and, well, you know the rest...(=U=)...HE, HE, HE!"
I-Don't Think At All...
(My P.O.V.)
Sunday, Something - something, 7:00 pm, Year: 2000 and derp-face...(20:3)...
...
"...I'm breakin out, I FEEL IT IN MY SOUL!... 'Nough to make my systems go!...Welcome to the new age, to the new age!..."
I am sitting at the desk in my room after a long day of school...listening to "Imagine Dragons"...
"I love this song!...Ahh...never get tired of it...Oh! crap, I ought to check my subscriptions, havent done that in a while..."
I looked through all the people I subscribed to on Yoo-tuub!, and I noticed that "College Humor" had added a video called, "I wish I had a portal gun!"...
"Looks interesting enough..." I said, as I clicked the link to the video...
It started playing...
"Wish I Had A Portal Gun"
By: Colledge Humor
...
"Wish I had a Portal,
Wish, I Wish I had a Portal Gun...
Wish I had a Portal,
Wish, I Wish I had a Portal Gun!..."
"To be an Aperture Science client
Would be like a dream
Hey yo, my brain has been cravin' it back
Since Por-tal hit steam!"
"No commute to work, I'd have
The portal express...
With a blue one in my closet,
Orange one at my desk!"
"When my roommate is annoying, and been
Toying with my stuff,
I'd shoot a portal underneath him, and just
Punch him in the nuts!"
"I'd order delivery, get it
Fast like digiorno,
'cuz once it leaves the restaurant
It goes right through a por-tal!"
"I'm never late, for a date,
Just ask, my lady friends...
By using portal physics,
I'm always impressing them..."
"Forget making reservations!
I would never have to wait,
Portal in the right location,
I've got someone else's plate!..."
"I could sneak into a party,
Where they didn't invite me,
And be dealing out bacardi,
While some dudes try to fight me!"
"...Would always end well,
Dealing with these mere mortals!...
Aperture hand-helds,
Got me thinkin' with portals!"
"Wish I had a Portal,
Wish, I Wish I had a Portal Gun!"
"I'm not mute like freeman, yo!
But please don't make me beg for one!"
"Wish I had a Portal,
Wish, I Wish I had a Portal Gun!"
"I'd be cool as chell!-
Oh, I could do a speedy grocery run!.."
"Life gave me lemons-
I don't make lemonade!
I'm mad, like Cave Johnson...
I got lemon grenades!"
"The world is filled with puzzles,
I could solve with portal physics...
I would brave the chamber struggles,
Just to es-cape family visits!"
"I'd be traveling like a maveric,
Surfaces all orange and blue,
When I'm locked out my apartment,
I'd use the companion cube!"
"Oh, GLaDOS! Take me to your center!
'Cuz I want to get enriched!
I'm dyin, thinkin 'bout your science,
I'd do anything for it!..."
...
"Yeah, I'd shoot 2 portals in a vertical line,
Undo my belt, lean in and..."
...
"...Change pants without having to look down...
-Also I'd suck my own DIIIIIIIIICK!"
("Wish I Had a Portal,
Wish, I Wish I Had a Portal Gun!")
"YEAH BITCHES!... SCIENCE!...Now your cumming through PORTALS!"
"Wish I had a Portal,
Wish, I Wish I had a Portal Gun...
Wish I had a Portal,
Wish I Wish I had a Portal Gun!"
...
By the end of the video I was laughing my ass of...Even though I had no clue about what half of the joke meant...
It was clear what I had to do at that moment, and so I did...
More coming very soon...
Tell me if you like and if not I will stop writing this for now...Thank you
...
Also, you might notice I'm not acting my cheery, usual, funny self lately...
Well, I've kinda grown up...
(I still love MineCraft, though, and if any of my fans out there want to friend me on x-box, my gamertag is "DiamondSordLord".)
...Hell, I was even thinking about bailing out on the site completely...To be honest, I wasn't even gonna write this...
(But I can't bail out on my fans...)
Look, I really don't feel like talking about the reason why right now...But for the people who have read my other stories, P.M. me if you want to know why I lost insperation...
Well, see you next time I write...
-Teh Zombie.