Emotions
It was the first time in years, no, centuries that the Tardis was flown properly. Everybody smiled. Of course they did, everybody was back together.
The Doctor looked around. All of his friends were here. He wasn't alone. Jackie, Jack, Sarah Jane, Mickey, Donna, Rose… Then there was him. The Meta Crisis. There was something about him, but the Doctor didn't know exactly what. He was his clone, yeah, but something kept on nagging him, begging him, to find out what was wrong. Then it hit him harder than the Dalek did with its laser.
He was the first of his kind.
Well, so was Donna, but there was never a two-way biological meta crisis. This was something very big and very special. The situation was delicate. One, or both, could burn.
He grimaced. He couldn't let that happen. No, not ever.
They suddenly stopped with a halt. Everybody cheered, and that made him smile, too. He dropped off Mickey, Jack, and Sarah Jane. He said his goodbyes and went back inside his wonderful ship. Inside, he found Rose, Donna, and Jackie discussing about something (probably gossip) while the Meta-Crisis stood near the console looking down, pale faced.
The Doctor walked up to him. "What's wrong?"
The Meta-Crisis instantly shook his head and grinned at him like a child. "Nothing's wrong!"
Donna glanced at the two men, giving them a weary look. He knew what she was thinking.
"Donna," he walked over to her. "Can I have a word with you?"
"Yeah, alright," she agreed. The Meta-Crisis looked at them with extreme curiosity, as well as Rose and Jackie.
"You're coming with us." Donna ordered.
Donna and him walked towards the hallway, dragging the Meta-Crisis along with them. They walked along the twisting halls and finally made it to a painfully white, clean door. They opened and went inside.
Inside, the Meta-Crisis glanced around. It was a medical room full of instruments and medications and concoctions. This made him feel very dizzy.
"Sit, and take off your coat." Ordered the Doctor with a firm tone. He instantly did what he was told to do. He threw his dark blue blazer on the bed beside him. Donna held onto a stethoscope, put the ear buds on, and placed it on his chest where his heart was. She listened carefully at the dull heartbeats. The Doctor stood there observing the task at hand. The Meta-Crisis felt as though he were an animal about to be tested.
She finally took off the ear buds and said, "The heart works fine." She turned to the Doctor. "But do you think he's okay? I mean, his face looks a bit ashen."
The Meta-Crisis held onto his cheek, not clearly understanding the expression she used.
The Doctor stood there expressionless. "His mind is going to burn," he sighed. "We'll have to erase nine hundred years worth of memories."
"What?" There were going to take away his memories?
"We don't have a choice," Donna shrugged. Were they seriously considering this?
"Now, hold on for just a moment!" The Meta-Crisis threw up his hands. "Don't I get a say this? You just can't erase my memories! They are mine!"
"Listen, your brain is divided into half. One half are Donna's memories of her childhood and thoughts. The other half, however, are my memories. Which, frankly, are a lot. You wouldn't be able to sustain that. Not even with your Time Lord system."
He took his argument right out his mouth. "But, it's who I am. It reminds me of who I was. You can't just take that away from me."
"With his memories out of the way, you can create your own." Donna soothed. "Wouldn't you like that? Become who you truly are, not copy somebody else?"
"That's a bunch of bull crap!" He shouted. "I'm not letting you take out my memories, no way!"
"You'll die." The Doctor's voice quivered a bit, as if he were going to cry.
"I don't care. I can burn up for all I care. I don't dwell onto death like you, Doctor. I'll die peacefully. You can cheat death. So, I don't see why you keep on thinking about how you'll die. Those are just vain thoughts." The Meta-Crisis ranted.
The Doctor looked at Donna, then balled up his fists, "I'm alright with dying. I have another incarnation after me, yes. But, I don't want to die just like that." He snapped his fingers. "No regeneration. I don't want to lie on the ground dead."
Donna turned white. She couldn't imagine the Doctor dead. No, this incarnation could and would live long.
The Meta-Crisis glared at him. "I. Don't. Care." He said quietly.
"Fine, then!" The Doctor was shouting know. "I am trying to prevent another death. But if you won't take my offer, fine! It'll just be another death on my shoulders. More blood on my hands!" He shoved his hands in front of the Meta-Crisis' face. "I'll be like you! I don't care!"
"Listen," Donna said softly, sitting next to the clone. "He'll just erase your memories, but he will leave your telepathic powers. You will be able to keep this incarnation's memories and we can copy the other memories onto a book. You'll know that they're yours, but they will be like stories."
The Meta-Crisis took in her words. If, you put it that way, it wouldn't be that bad. He looked at the Doctor; his back facing towards them. Did he hurt his feelings? Did he hurt them by saying that he was okay with dying? He felt a pang of guilt hit his stomach.
"Just stories, eh? That sounds…fine, I guess…" He said. "Doctor, I'm sorry I yelled and said all those things. I was… what's it called? Upset."
The Doctor stared at him. Donna bit her lip nervously.
"I forgive you. You don't entirely understand everything, yet. And I get that. I'm sorry I yelled at you, too." He held out his hand.
The Meta-Crisis grinned broadly and hugged him. The Doctor was caught off guard but hugged him back and smiled while doing so. Donna laughed, overjoyed by the situation.
"Alright," the Meta-Crisis pulled away. "Shall we get started?"
"Are you sure about this? We can wait if you want." The Doctor suggested.
"No, I want to get this over with," the clone sighed. Donna walked over to a small box-like machine.
"This will also make you forget all of this conversation. Well, except for the vital parts."
"Okay," the clone said simply.
"This will rewrite the memories onto pages and will eventually place them in a blank hardcover book." She showed of a fiery red book with orange and yellow swirls all around it. "We just need to hook you up."
The Doctor placed wires on the Meta-Crisis' temples. He walked over to the small box and opened two panels; one large another small. He placed the red book inside open to the first page. Inside the smaller panel were a series of buttons.
"Are you ready?" The Doctor asked again, putting his fingers on the buttons. The Meta-Crisis nodded. "Clear!" He instantly pushed the buttons and the Meta-Crisis felt a surge of energy go into his head.
The energy wasn't painful nor pleasant. He just felt numb. His memories were fading away. He just saw faces and heard names, but couldn't pinpoint anyone exactly.
Who was Susan, Barbara, and Ian? Jamie, Polly, Ben? Alistair, Liz, Jo, Sarah Jane? Harry, Leela, K9, Romana? Nyssa, Tegan, Adric, Vislor, Kamelion? Perri, Melanie? Ace? Grace? Adam? Who were these strange people? He couldn't tell anymore. He felt his body go limp.
.
The Meta-Crisis woke up lying on a soft, comfortable surface. His vision was a bit hazed, but he could tell that he was still in the medical room. He turned his head to his right. He saw a figure sitting there, staring at him.
"Where… am I?" He managed to murmur. He felt a warm hand placed on his.
"Morning, Sleeping Beauty. How was your rest?" She giggled. It was Donna.
"Peachy-keen," he spat. In all honesty, he didn't feel anything or see anyone. Just complete darkness.
"Well, sorry for asking," she said bitterly.
He rubbed his face with his left hand. "Sorry. Just a bit…" he tried searching for a word in his brain. "Grumpy." He finished.
Her features softened, "We have a gift for you." She handed him red book.
"What's this?" He took the book in his hands.
"They're stories. Wonderful stories. The tale of man who can travel through time and space."
"Like the Doctor?" He said, remembering the spiky haired fellow with the brown pinstriped suit.
"Exactly like the Doctor," she smiled warmly at him.
He eagerly opened the book and read the first page aloud. "Chapter One: An Unearthly Child."
After reading three chapters of the book, Donna went out looking for the Doctor. The Meta-Crisis was exhausted. He learned that the Doctor and his granddaughter, Susan, were time travelers from another planet. They settled in London for a bit and took in two companions, Barbara and Ian. They then travelled to the Stone Age. He sighed. It was getting very interesting.
"I see that you've been reading the book," said a voice from the doorway. It was the Doctor.
"Yup," the clone said, popping the 'p'. "It's really interesting."
"How do you feel?" The Doctor asked, sitting down at a nearby chair.
"I feel fine. Why do you ask?"
"Just wondering," he said, shaking his head. The Meta-Crisis shrugged and touched the scarlet book gingerly.
"Are you ready to go home?" The Doctor suddenly inquired.
"You mean, I'm not staying with you and Donna?" He wanted to stay with them. They could only understand him.
"You have to go with Rose and Jackie in the Parallel Universe."
"Why?" He snarled. Why were they leaving him? What did he do wrong?
"As punishment of committing genocide to the Daleks. You weren't supposed to that." He stated. "But you're staying with Rose."
"So? I can't. I just can't!" He felt as if were being choked to death, even though if he didn't know the feeling of that.
"You love Rose. Why wouldn't you want to stay with her?"
"Because it'll feel too surreal! I'll will always be asking myself, 'Will she love me like I love her? Will she want to stay with me until the end?' if she loves me, I don't what else to feel!" He shouted.
The Doctor stared at the Meta-Crisis and tried to understand the man's sudden outburst. Too surreal? If he were in his place, and he wished that he was, he would be jumping with joy.
"I don't understand…" he managed to stammer.
"Of course you don't! You're not human! Only a human can be able to understand such feelings. You, sir, are a Time Lord." The Meta-Crisis said each of those with pure venom.
The Doctor stared at him. This must have been Donna's side talking. He really didn't fancy that side. He decided to change the topic of the conversation at hand.
"What do you think of the Doctor?" He asked cautiously.
His clone's eyes suddenly brightened. "In my opinion, he is pretty much amazing! His attitude towards everything is cool." He grinned a boyish grin at him.
"What about his Tardis?"
"His… Tardis? What?" He murmured quietly. "Don't you… no, yes. No, of course… wait what?"
"Forget about. Now come on." The Doctor stood up and headed towards the door.
"Oi! Hold on!" The Meta-Crisis shot up from the bed and hurried to the Doctor.
They made it to the console room and found the three females talking feverishly. All of their heads turned towards the two men.
"Hey, there," the clone said sheepishly to Jackie and Rose.
"There are two of them?" Jackie said, puzzled.
"Yes, Mrs. Tyler. It's a bit complicated to explain. I don't think you'll understand." Donna told her.
"Don't worry, love," she waved a hand at her. "Knowing him, it wouldn't even matter to know."
The Doctor blew air out his cheeks. Rose came up to him.
"So, he's your… clone?" She pointed to the Meta-Crisis.
"Oh, don't say it like that!" He scolded.
"Sorry. It's just that, like Donna said, complicated, you know? To understand." She tried to explain. She eyed the other man nervously. He was leaning on a railing near the exit, reading his book.
"Do you know what he's reading?"
"My memories." He said simply.
Rose stayed quiet, biting her lip. She crossed her arms.
Everyone stayed silent. The Meta-Crisis slowly looked up from his book and glanced at everyone. They were staring at him.
He laughed nervously, "Um… Why are you guys looking at me like that?" He widened his eyes. "What did I do now? Did I kill somebody else?! Did I do something else besides the genocide?! Guys?! Tell me something!"
The Doctor hurried over to his side. "No, no. You didn't do anything wrong. It's alright. It's alright." He soothed the self-induced maniac. The Meta-Crisis held onto him, hyperventilating, as if his life depended on it; not caring about his book on the floor.
Donna went over to him, also trying to calm him down. Finally, he could manage some words.
"I'm sorry I burst like that." He apologized. He looked at the Doctor. "Can we just go?"
"Allons-y." He announced, pulling down a lever.
.
The Doctor and Rose stayed inside.
"He's going to stay with you." He said.
Rose nodded. "Alright."
"There are some things you need to know first. First of all: He's a bit unstable. Take care of him. Secondly: Don't talk about the Tardis to him."
"Why?" She interjected.
"I've erased his memories on that. He knows what it is, but he can't grasp the meaning about it. He hears that, and he can't understand what you're saying. Lastly: Don't take or lose the book he has. That is the only connection he has with his past selves. He knows who they are; but like the Tardis, he can't understand that. They are just stories to him. Do you understand?"
"I think I do," she smiled uncertainly.
He smiled at her. Not a happy smile, a sad smile. "Thank you."
.
"You still have a connection to me and Donna. That means that you can feel what we feel. And on rare occasions, even see what we see and hear." The Doctor explained to the Meta-Crisis.
"Okay." He answered. He could still communicate with them even if they were in another universe.
"Take care of yourself," Donna waved.
Everyone waved goodbye.
"Bye!" The Meta-Crisis waved like a child.
"Goodbye," the Doctor murmured.