I'll Always Be Here

A crisp night breeze tickled loose a tendril of Ruby's hair, gently brushing by her cheek. A chill crept over her nose and finger tips, sending her snuggling deeper into her blankets, trying to turn away the cold.

"Jaune…"

An echo of Pyrrha's voice crept into her ear, tugging her back from the edge sleep. Ruby turned on her side, raising her head and looking around in the darkness that pushed against the glow of their campfire. Ren lay sprawled on his back on the other side of the camp, with Nora not far from his side, emitting a low, revving snore.

"Jaune…"

Straining to hear, Ruby lay flat on her back and closed her eyes, almost willing Pyrrha's voice to come whispering through the eaves of the forest.

"Alright Jaune, just like we practiced. Follow these instructions…"

Ruby sighed, recognizing the words from Jaune's training video. Clasping her hands on her stomach, she stared up at the sky, listening. Sluggish clouds winked stars in and out of existence, leisurely meandering through the night.

From behind a copse of trees to her right, Ruby heard the end of the video. Pyrrha's voice slipped through the dense undergrowth, muffled:

"You've grown so much since we started training, and I know this is just the beginning. Jaune, I – I… I want you to know that I'm just happy to be a part of your life. I'll always be here for you Jaune."

After a moment's pause, Ruby heard the high-pitched squeal of the video rewinding. As the ghost of Pyrrha's voice began its instruction again, Ruby roused herself from her makeshift bed and stood up, hugging herself tightly and tucking her hands under her arms.

Shivering, she stepped away from the light of the fire towards the dense cluster of trees. Waiting for her eyes to adjust, she stood silently listening to the murmur of Pyrrha's voice, and a soft rustling she assumed was Jaune.

Moving cautiously and purposefully, Ruby picked her way through the woods, testing the ground for loose rocks and fallen branches with every step. All around and above her, thousands of leaves began to shutter in a jabbering cacophony of sound, disturbed by a short, sudden gust of wind.

After a moment of half-blind stumbling, Ruby stepped into a small clearing. Through the clouds, weak shafts of white moonlight slipped down through the treetops, bouncing off the brilliant surface of Jaune's armor.

At the far side of clearing, he stood with his back to her, hacking away at an invisible foe.

"Again. And again," urged Pyrrha's echoing voice.

With a roar, Jaune slashed out and set the leaves to jittering and babbling again in prattled undertones. Within the chorus of flora, there seemed to be fractures of a dark, bodiless chuckle.

Panting, Jaune paused, his head and shoulders slumped, and for a moment nothing happened.

"Jaune…"

At the sound of his name, Jaune turned towards Ruby, rubbing under his eyes with the cuff of his sleeve. "Ruby," he said, collapsing his shield, but not sheathing his sword. His grip remained tightly wrapped around its hilt.

"Jaune, you have to stop," said Ruby, staring at the ground near his feet, unable to meet his eyes. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. Every night you're out here, playing that video over and over and over again. You never let it rest; it's like you're torturing yourself with this night after night!"

Looking up, her voice shook as she said, "I hear you, when you sneak away from the group. I hear her voice, saying your name, endlessly. When the sun sets, you're a different person, Jaune. It's like – during the day, you can pretend, at least for us, that you're still the same light-hearted guy, but at night, when you think you're alone… We lose you, Jaune."

As she was speaking, Jaune's face slid into an expressionless mask, never breaking eye contact, waiting for her to finish. Taking a deep breath, she paused – and still he waited, knowing she had more to say.

"Jaune, I know that this must be so hard for you – I can only imagine… but we all lost her Jaune, all of us. We lost her, Jaune – we lost Pyrrha!"

Tears trickling down her cheek, her breath caught in her throat, forcing to her stop and start again.

"We need to lean on each other Jaune, so I need you to let me in. I need you to let me help you heal from this, or else you'll disappear with her, unable to move forward. Please Jaune," she begged, "let me help you."

Crying freely now, she took a step towards him and stopped. Motionless, he stared at her and let the moment stand in silence.

The restless voice of the wind trickled into the space between them, heedless of their midnight standoff.

Then, finally: "You can't help me, Ruby."

Shock jolted through her, pulling her back.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Because, this is all my fault," he said in slow, even tones. "This is my burden to bear!" he spat out, his voice rising slightly.

"Jaune, no…" Ruby murmured, "You can't take all of this on yourself. What happened to Pyrrha wasn't any more your fault than it was mine. She made her own decisions, Jaune, don't take that from her. She was a strong, brave woman who fought to save all of us!"

At this point, Ruby was yelling at him, running across the space dividing them and pushing her face into his.

"Do you hear me? She made her choice Jaune! She was a hero! Don't you dare take that from her! It's not your place to feel guilty! None of us could have saved her, believe me I tried so, so hard! Listen to me," she shouted, with emphasis, "Her. Death. Was. Not. Your. Fault."

A little short of breath, Ruby stepped away from him and tried to regain some semblance of control. All the while, Jaune still watched her – a slightly pained expression breaking down his stalwart façade.

Then, almost in a whisper, he said, "I don't blame myself for her death, Ruby, that's not what I meant."

Another beat of silence separated them, undisturbed this time even by the meddlesome night breeze.

"Ruby…" he started, his voice unsure. "She loved me. Pyrrha loved me."

His fist tightened its hold on his sword, his hands shaking. "She loved me."

"Jaune…"

"But I couldn't love her! Not the way she needed me to. Don't you understand Ruby? She went to her death, knowing she was alone in this world. She loved me, and I couldn't love her back and she knew it! She knew it, Ruby!"

At this point, he was practically screaming at her. "Do you have any idea what that's like? To have to wonder, 'Dear God, what must have she been thinking in those last moments? Why couldn't I have just given her what she wanted?' Do you?" he roared, making Ruby flinch.

"No, of course not. How could you? How could you know what it's like to watch someone go off to their death, knowing that they know in the deepest part of their heart that you never loved them the way they loved you… that you never felt anything more for them than just friendship."

Jaune paused, visibly wracked by the effort to hold back his tears.

"She kissed me before she died, did you know that?" he asked, quieted. His voice started to waver, "Just once, before she left me to go fight that woman at the top of the tower. At that moment, I realized that some part of me always knew how she felt, but hadn't been able to believe it. That whole time, I never really saw her – not that way."

Almost to himself, he said, "How could I not have seen her? How could I? I feel like a monster…"

Shaking his head, he looked away. So utterly surprised by his admission, Ruby stayed silent, not knowing what to say.

"You can't help me, Ruby. No one can."

And with that, he turned his back on her, leaving her to return to the campsite alone. Neither one of them uttered another word, but in the background, a small, distant voice said:

"I want you to know that I'm just happy to be a part of your life. I'll always be here for you Jaune."

I do not own nor did I write the dialogue for Pyrrha's video – all credit for these portions of writing belong to RoosterTeeth.