Adieu

"Aberforth!", you cry, anguish leaking into your voice. "Have you seen Remus?"

"He was dueling Dolohov!", he shouted in response. "I haven't seen him since!"

Your throat closes and you choke back a sob. You can mindlessly hear Ginny's soothing voice, assuring you he was going to be okay. Her reassurance seemed to echo in the outrageously loud hallway. Without another word, you sprint after Aberforth, promising yourself that Dolohov is going to die.

When you find Remus, before you feel relief, you feel shock. The man you see fighting looks strained, clenching his teeth in anguish as he defended himself against Dolohov's shrieked curses. He looks wary, weak, inadequate, and frail.

And Remus Lupin was not a frail man.

"Remus!" You cry brokenly, terrified that you'll lose him. "I'm right behind you!"

He turns around and your eyes meet. They blaze with a dull fire.

Nymphadora, please. Go home to Teddy.

Your intense, vivid eyes met his steadily.

As if I would leave you now.

His dreary, haunted eyes linger on you for a heartbeat too long. Before you can react, that ruthless, unforgivable curse has hit your husband square in the chest.

You can barely process what's happening

This cannot be real..

before his once-lively eyes bulge with horror,

Please don't be real..

and his body topples over,

Remus John

eternally imprisoned,

Lupin

in the

cannot

doors

be

of

dead.

death.

You wait.

You don't even know what you're waiting for..

And wait.

And then it dawns on you that he isn't coming back.

A solitary sob lets itself be heard.

You sprint to his body, ignoring the loud chortles Dolohov is releasing.

You wonder why everyone is still fighting.

There's no hope anyway..

They're all bound to die.

Just like Remus...

The loud corridor full of wails and curses seems to fall silent.

What's the point without him?

You begin to weep because the man you love is dead.

The attentive, caring, witty idiot that promised you would grow old together is dead.

And now you're wailing hysterically,

Remus, my Remus... that Remus you worked so hard to win...

inwardly screeching pleas,

Please, please come back. I don't want to be alone.

when you make your decision.

You can't bear to be alone...

You stand up, shaking uncontrollably with sorrow, and screech brokenly, "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Dolohov's eyes bulge in horror. He wasn't prepared, he hadn't expected you to fight back...

You laugh insanely as his body topples over.

You race through the bloody, tainted corridor, intent on going home to Teddy. He was the only thing you had left now, and you weren't going to lose him too.

You saw so many fighting for their lives... so many already wounded, even dead.

And you were going back to your mother's house, so you could be safe with your son.

You stop running, and your lips twitch. You were many things, but not a coward.

You, Nymphadora Tonks, are a fighter.

And you intended to do just that.

But even you know that your chances of returning to Teddy are slim. The thought of never seeing your child again makes you want to sob. You swallow and take a deep breath. For now, it did not matter how likely you were to die, or how much you would miss your dear Teddy. Now, you needed to avenge Remus, as well as everyone else it was already too late to save.

You start flying through the school again, your feet flying gracefully, looking for a victim. You spot Percy fighting two death eaters, and you sprint over to where he stood in strain.

Before the death eaters know you're there, you shout, "Avada Kedavra!" A violent green light flashes through the air, and someone falls.

The other death eater looks in shock at his deceased comrade, and before you can say anything, Percy says the words you were just about to.

As he screams the killing curse, you feel a chill. There was so much death. So much. Yet all of you were still fighting, still striving towards the same goal.

The second death eater slowly topples over, and you suddenly realize than Percy has big, fat tears streaming down his grief-stricken face.

Time freezes for a moment, and you wonder who else you've lost.

You clasp your hand on his shoulder. "Percy, who-"

He interrupted you, whispering, "Fred."

Percy falls to his knees, sobbing, and sit down next to him, more scared than you ever have been in your life. So many gone...

Tears stream down your face now, you're thinking of precious Fred, and his divine personality.

He had so much life left to live...

You wipe away your tears and stand uncertainly.

"Wait. Where's...where's Remus?"

You shake your head, trembling. You can't live like this...

You walk away from Percy's mournful expression and a dull fire ignites in your wary eyes.

You promise yourself then that Bellatrix Lestrange is going to die at your hand. That horrid woman never really appealed to you, and her time was long overdue.

For Sirius...

Bellatrix laughs harshly as you approach her.

"Oh!" She cooes snidely, and all you can focus on is how much you want her to pay for taking away your beloved cousin.

"You want to fight, do you?" Bellatrix howls with laughter, as if this is something amusing.

You wish you could speak, you wish you could tell her how much death she's caused..but you're too stunned to say anything at all.

"Do you want to go the same way as that filthly traitor, Black?"

You freeze. Something inside you breaks, and you wonder why you're still fighting.

You just want life to be over..

You swallow and screech, "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

She dodges the curse easily, and she chuckles.

Bellatrix is abruptly serious.

"You disgust me." She declares in her high-pitched, irritating voice. "How can you be a niece of mine? Making me look like a fool by marrying a werewolf."

Your eyes water until it's painful. Oh, Remus..

She's laughing savagely now, and she asks in a sweet voice, "But.. Remy's gone now, isn't he?" She snorts. "Dolohov is lucky he got to finish him off. I would have myself.."

You're crying now, and you're thinking of Remus and the life together you never got to live.

Bellatrix gasps in mock shock. "Oh no! My dear niece is upset!" Then she drops the pleasant surprise from her voice, and now it's cold.

"Crucio!"

You gasp as the unexpected curse lifts you into the air.

Unimagineable pain..

You can hear Bellatrix laugh as you scream.

Agony..

Satisfied, Bellatrix drops you to the wet, cold floor.

You fall with a thud, and a whimper.

God, take me away..the pain without him is too deep..

You're trembling, and Bellatrix is snorting with disgust. "Your mother always was weak. I shouldn't be surprised you're the same way."

You're still lying on the floor, and god, it's so cold..

Bellatrix isn't snorting now, and she's staring at you. There's a hard glint in her crazed eyes.

"Did poor little Nymphadora lose the will to fight without her cute little wolf?"

You're choking on something, and you feel so, so dizzy...

When you did not respond, she smirks and lifts her wand elegantly.

You watch uncomprehendingly as Bellatrix's beautiful features twist into a sneer. "Prepare to die, niece."

You watch as Bellatrix hisses the words you need to hear.

Avada Kedavra!

You watch a bright green light flash before your eyes. You feel a stab of agony, and then you're falling, falling...

Your last thought before eternal rest had something to do about your beloved son, and your regret about not telling him adieu.

It's so, so dark..