I hope I'm not annoying the hell out of people with these little one shots based on a single episode, spoiler or trailer. My muse is only giving me quick little jolts these days; I think she's just as apprehensive as me about what's going to happen to cannon Kurt and Dave on the show. Still, it gives me a chance to revisit and further smuttify my beloved SIYT Kurtofsky couple, and hopefully you'll like this peek at their future happiness too.

This is based on the trailer for "Blame It On The Alcohol". Once the show airs, it'll probably be AU. ;)

The remains of a truly amazing dinner lay spread across the table, but neither Kurt nor Dave made any move to get up and clear the dishes. They each lounged in a dining room chair, stuffed to the gills with bacon-wrapped fillet mignon, garlic smashed potatoes and grilled asparagus. They also were more than a little tipsy from the wine that Becca had sent over. In her usual over-the-top fashion, her anniversary gift to them had been an entire case of wine from her family's vineyard. Kurt and Dave had killed a whole bottle of spectacular Shiraz before they even started dinner, and consumed another of Pinot Nior while eating. Damn, but her family made some good vino.

Dave grinned lazily at Kurt. "Why don't you come sit on my lap, Fancy?" he invited. "You're too far away over there."

His husband smiled in return and rose out of his chair. "I can hardly move, I'm so full. I'd have married you for your cooking skills, if nothing else," he said. He made his way over to Daves's chair and snuggled into his lap, resting his cheek on Dave's shoulder. "But I'm glad there's about a million other reasons. Like how you seriously have the best lap ever."

"Well, you have been known to dance on it a time or two," Dave said, laughing. "So I'm aware of your feelings on the matter." He reached down to tilt Kurt's head up and kissed him softly. "But I like hearing it anyway." He smiled teasingly. "Unless, of course, you're saying that just because you're a little drunk."

Kurt looked over at the giant box of wine bottles sitting in their living room. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but holy shit that's a lot of wine. What are we going to do with it all?" he asked. "We'll need a trip to the Betty Ford Clinic for our second anniversary."

Dave chuckled. "Well, we'll have plenty of empties if you ever want to play spin the bottle with me," he said. Kurt didn't say anything, so he looked at him. He had kind of a blank look on his face, like he was lost in thought. Dave become immediately concerned. "Kurt, are you okay? Is something wrong, hon?"

Suddenly, Kurt's lips curved up in a smile, and he began to laugh uproariously. "Oh my God, if you only knew, Dave," he said. He tried to stifle his giggles, but they escaped. "I had almost completely forgotten about it."

"About what?" asked Dave. He was relieved that Kurt was amused rather than upset, but was curious about what was apparently so hilarious. "Come on, I want in on the joke."

"I never told you about it, did I? The spin the bottle game of epic failure in high school?"

"Hell no! You played spin the bottle back then?" Dave laughed. "With girls and everything? Or was this at Dalton?"

This set off another round of laughter from Kurt, who had tears of mirth gathering in the corners of his eyes. He stood up. "I so need more wine if I'm going to tell you about this. And believe me, you'll want some too. "

He went into the kitchen to open another bottle, and Dave went to sit on the living room sofa. He shook his head, thinking there wasn't anything cuter than listening to Kurt crack himself up a room away. "What a nut," said Dave under his breath, as more giggles emerged from the kitchen.

Kurt came back in with another two glasses of red wine. "This is the Cabernet," he said, handing one over to Dave. Dave took a sip as Kurt sat down next to him, then set it down expectantly. "Okay, spill. This has got to be awesome, because I don't think I've ever seen you laugh like this. Not even that time I lost that bet with Becca, and I had to rap over the PA at my kid's hockey game."

Kurt chortled. "I almost peed in my pants. And the fact that you willingly chose "Shoop" only made it more hilarious." He tried to get his breath back. "Okay, it's maybe it wasn't quite as funny as you rapping. And at the time, it wasn't very fucking funny at all. But in retrospect? Totally hysterical." He took a minute to collect himself, then in a rather theatrical voice, began to spin the tale.

"It was while I was attending Dalton, but it wasn't on campus. Rachel Berry's dads went away for the weekend, and she decided to have a house party for everyone in glee. As a former member, I guess I rated an invite, so I came. With Blaine."

"Blaine was there?" said Dave. He grinned evilly. "Oh, I already like this story." He certainly didn't hold a grudge against Kurt's former boyfriend, but it wasn't like he didn't enjoy hearing stories about how the kid he had once been so jealous of, and considered so perfectly perfect, had turned out to really be kind of a mess.

"Oh hell yes," said Kurt. "I was so excited to bring him, like it was a goddamn date or something." He laughed again. "God, I was such a frigging dork back then. This was like, two weeks after that stupid Gap stunt I told you he pulled. But did I realize what a hot mess he was? Noooooo, not Kurt Hummel." He gulped some wine. "I was convinced I would have him, my gel-haired Prince Charming. That the Gap thing was just an anomaly. So I brought him - right after he had his sheltered private school heart crushed, mind you - to a wild party filled with attractive teenagers and enough alcohol to float the Titanic."

Dave burst out laughing. "No offense, Kurt, but you really were a dork." Kurt punched his arm lightly in mock outrage, but Dave continued to laugh. "How could you have possibly thought that was a good idea?"

"It would be easier to count all the non-stupid things I did in high school, I think, than the smart ones." Kurt said, blushing.

Dave looked at him fondly. "I don't think there's a person on Earth who can't claim that. As someone who works with high schoolers on a daily basis, not to mention being a cataclysmic fuckup myself back then, I can say that with great conviction."

Kurt leaned over to give him a sloppy kiss, then drew back. "Stop distracting me with your sweetness. Now, where was I?" He paused for a minute. "Right, the party! So we go in, and it's like Jersey Shore or something. People dancing and being really loud, drunk off their asses and getting crazy. Brittany was stripping for Artie, for Christ's sake. Blaine started doing shots of vodka, and because I wanted him to think I was super awesome just like him, I did a couple too. I was buzzed, but he got annihilated. I actually thought it was kind of adorable at first, not realizing that he was literally drowning his sorrows over that floppy haired twink of an assistant manager. I thought he was just having fun; you know, letting lose, since Dalton was so fucking stifling." He snorted. "I was pissed at him for being clueless back then, but really, I was just as bad as him."

Shrugging, he continued. "So Berry sees that Finn and Quinn are making out." Kurt made a disgusted face. "I still can't believe he got back together with her after Sam dumped her trifling ass. She tried to pass off Puck's baby as his for months!" Kurt was momentarily distracted by simmering anger on behalf of his stepbrother, but got back on track. "Whatever. At least it means I wasn't the stupidest person at the party. Probably a close second, though." He took another sip of wine. "Anyhoo, Rachel - who by the way, was totally smashed herself - starts shrieking about playing spin the bottle. We're all drunk and horny as hell, and so it sounds great, right?" He looked at Dave, who nodded, fascinated by what was sounded like an inevitable train wreck. His husband really knew how to tell a story. He'd married a damn Scheherazade. "So we set up the board and the bottle, and started playing. Lauren had to kiss Puck, and that was actually cute. Brittany kissed Santana, and that was weird and totally fucking uncomfortable with Artie sitting right there. And then…" he trailed off dramatically.

"Then?" said Dave. "Then what?" He could tell that Kurt was seeing whatever had happened unfold in his mind, because he dissolved into giggles again.

"What a bunch of pathetic adolescents we were," Kurt managed to get out between chuckles. "God, I am so glad those days are far, far behind me." He kissed Dave again, before continuing his tale. "It was Blaine's turn to spin. And of course, I was totally picturing it landing on me. I would have the kiss of true queer love right then and there, and everything would be rainbows, glitter and unicorns as far as the eye could see." Kurt put his hand on his heart. "It would be so amazing, so profound; it would surely turn half the room as gay as me. I held my breath, seeing it slow down as it swung towards me." He paused, quirking an eyebrow at Dave. "As it swung right past me, and landed on Rachel."

Dave's eyes popped wide open. "Oh, get the fuck out!" he exclaimed. "He had to kiss Rachel Berry?"

"Sure did. Right in front of my eyes."

"Dude, what did you do?" asked Dave. He knew that Kurt had been pretty infatuated with Blaine back then, though it had faded after the other boy's pedestal got smaller and smaller over time. Actually dating Blaine had decimated it completely, when Kurt had finally come to terms with the fact that Blaine was just a normal dumb teenager, capable of thinking with his dick instead of his brain just as much as the rest of them. With the awe gone, their lack of romantic chemistry became uncomfortably clear, and they broke up after only three months as an official couple.

"I was pretty shocked at first, because really, he seemed kinda into it. I mean, if I'd had to kiss one of the girls, it'd have been a peck at most. But them…I think there might have even been tongue, but I'm not sure." Kurt started laughing again at the ridiculousness of it all. "I remember tilting my head to the side, as if looking at it from another angle would mean that I wasn't really seeing what I was seeing. It only went on for a few seconds, but it seemed like forever. I think I said something like, 'Okay, we don't need to see any more of that!', trying to be cool and not make a scene. Rachel let go of his shirt, and the two of them just smiled like it had been the greatest thing ever." Kurt shook his head. "God, they were both so drunk. I still can't believe the girl with two dads got such a charge out of kissing a gay guy. But I think what she really liked was that it made Finn jealous. Even though he knew Blaine was gay, seeing his ex-girlfriend kiss another boy for the first time really threw him."

"Is he bi?" asked Dave. It had never come up before, but now he was really wondering.

"I don't think so. At least, as long as I was around him, he never expressed an interest in kissing a girl after that. I think he was just drunk and stupid, and the kiss would have felt good no matter who or what it was with. There are plenty of straight people who can enjoy an experimental kiss with someone of the same gender, purely on a physical basis. I assume it works the same way with us."

"So what happened after?" asked Dave.

"Well, I was upset, and pissed of course," said Kurt. "I mean, there's one guy playing the game that wouldn't freak out if he had to kiss me, and he makes out with Rachel. I wasn't too mad at her, because I knew she didn't mean anything by it. If it were one of the other girls, like Santana, I would have been more upset, because they might actually have contemplated making a serious play for him. I was mad as hell at Blaine, but at that point we'd just had the 'let's just be friends for now' talk, and I didn't really have a legitimate reason to call him out. Besides, he was so wasted, it's not like he'd have understood a word I said."

"You didn't have a shit fit?" asked Dave, surprised. "What happened to Kurt Hummel, teenage drama queen?"

Kurt shrugged, losing a little bit of his levity. "I think I actually matured a little bit that year," he said. "I mean, my dad almost died. I came pretty close to being an orphan. Then there was the whole thing with you, which was kind of traumatic at the time." He knew he had to say it, despite how Dave looked down in shame. Marriage was nothing if you couldn't be honest with each other. He reached out to lift Dave's chin, giving him a firm look. "Which, as we've discussed, I'm totally over. Since you've totally made it up to me tenfold with all the cooking, singing, love and fantastic sex since then." He smiled lovingly at Dave, and was happy to see it returned quickly. There was a time in their relationship where the switch had taken a lot longer.

"So no," Kurt continued. "I didn't freak out or anything. I had a few more shots, working my way up to blissfully numb. Then I passed out in Rachel's bedroom." He looked at Dave ruefully. "In the morning, I woke up with a crappy hangover, as did Blaine, who had slept on the living room rug all night. I dropped him off back at Dalton, drove all the way back to home Lima, and slept like the dead for nearly 24 hours. I think Carole held a hand mirror under my nose at one point, making sure I was still breathing."

"Did you two talk about it after?" asked Dave.

"A little. I told him he'd reached rock bottom, so there was no way for him to go but up." Kurt smiled. "It was the first time I'd ever felt like we were on even ground." He paused. "No, screw that. We weren't even. I had the upper hand, for the first time with a boy like, ever, in my life. He was a shit that night, but it ironically made him approachable enough for us to finally go from friends to something more."

Dave was looking at him with the expression that said he had a question on his mind. Kurt was surprised, though, with what he asked. "Was this before or after the Thriller halftime extravaganza?" Dave asked.

Not really sure what Dave was getting at, Kurt frowned and tried to concentrate through the wine soaked buzz. "After, I think. Maybe three weeks, or even a month?" He looked at Dave curiously. "Why do you ask?"

The corner of Dave's mouth kicked up in a cute, tipsy little smirk. "Because I was just thinking that if I'd have been secure enough to take your brother up on his offer, I'd have apologized to you and been a full-fledged glee member by then." He raised a well-shaped eyebrow at Kurt flirtatiously. "I'd have been at the party in that case, I guess. Maybe even joined in on the game."

Kurt began to feel warm, and not just from the wine. "And if the bottle had landed on me?" he asked.

"Well, I was still having adventures in Narnia at the time. But then again," Dave considered, "if I'd have been brave enough to join glee, who knows what else I might have been capable of." He looked into Kurt's eyes, their burgeoning arousal mirroring each other's. "If I had a chance at those lips of yours again? I don't think I could have resisted, whatever the consequences. I hadn't seen you in months at that point, let alone touched you. I might have gone crazy," he said, reaching out to run his hand through Kurt's hair.

Kurt's pupils were dilated from both the alcohol and desire for his husband. He rose and walked over to the dining room table, plucking the empty wine bottle off of it and handing it to Dave. "Show me," he said throatily, then sat cross-legged on the living room floor.

Dave got up off the couch and sat opposite Kurt, getting on his knees and placing the bottle between them. Winking at Kurt, he set it spinning. Dave let it go about three revolutions, then stopped it abruptly with his hand. With a quick twist of his wrist, the neck of the bottle pointed directly at his husband. He looked seductively at Kurt for a moment, and sat back on his heels. His expression changed immediately to one of surprise and fear, and he looked around the empty room as if there were people all over it. "Oh fuck no!" he shouted to his imaginary audience. "I am not kissing another dude!" He folded his arms over his chest stubbornly. "And even if I would, there's no way I'd kiss Hummel, of all people."

Kurt tried to hide his grin as he responded, but the wine he'd consumed was keeping him from being one hundred percent in character. He rolled his eyes. "I don't want to kiss you either," he said in a snotty tone. "I bet you're a shitty kisser. The type who would just grab someone's head and just mash your faces together." He looked pointedly at Dave. "Not that I'd know from experience or anything. But I can't imagine you having any kind of finesse when it comes to kissing."

Dave edged closer on his knees. "Is that so?" he said in a dangerous voice that sent pleasurable shivers down Kurt's spine.

Kurt was in full bitch face now, but Dave knew him well enough to see the humor in his eyes. "Of course! What would a Neanderthal like you know about kissing?" he said scathingly.

"I know one thing about it," Dave said quietly. He put a gentle hand on the side of Kurt's face. "I know I've wanted a chance at another kiss with you for months." He pulled Kurt towards him, until they were face to face on their knees, chests nearly touching. "And now, I get to have it." Dave reached his head forward and captured Kurt's lips sweetly, gently running his tongue across the lower lip. Kurt's lips parted, and Dave slid his tongue inside to dance with Kurt's. After a couple of minutes of deep kissing, during which Kurt whimpered almost continuously, he pushed on Dave's shoulders.

It took him a moment to gather his wits and try to continue with the role play. Finally, he cleared his throat and looked at Dave, who was breathing heavily and staring at the lips he'd been forced away from. "Well, I supposed that wasn't so bad," he said, trying to squash any tremor of excitement in his voice. "You might have possibilities, I guess. In fact…" He paused for a minute, then the blasé look was replaced by one so overtly sexual, Dave felt his cock twitch pleasantly. "Oh, fuck it," said Kurt, grabbing Dave by the shirt. "While I appreciate you replacing that memory with something way more enjoyable, I'm done playing games." He knocked the bottle out of the way, sending it flying across the living room carpet. "Nothing's better than what I have here with you, right now. All I want tonight is to fuck my amazing husband of one whole year. How does that sound?"

Dave put his hands on Kurt's shoulders and gripped them strongly. "Sounds like a plan," he responded. Their lips met again in a hot, passionate kiss as they tried to get off as much of each other's clothes as they could without parting their mouths. They managed to get everything off except Dave's pullover shirt and Kurt's tight pants, and finally tore their lips apart in defeat. While Kurt got to his feet and started pulling his jeans off, Dave whipped his shirt over his head and reached for the coffee table drawer. Very soon after they'd moved in together, Kurt and Dave had stashed condoms and lube in nearly every room of their apartment. They never knew when the urge to make love was going to hit them, and having to stop and run to the bedroom for supplies was a pain. Besides, it made for an amusing incident when Finn and his wife came to visit last year, and Kurt's brother came across one of their hiding places while looking for matches to light the candles on the dining room table with.

Dave twisted back around with a condom and bottle of lube, to find Kurt stretched out on the floor supported on one elbow. With his other hand, he stroked his erection up and down slowly, drawing out the pleasure. Dave stared for a minute at the beautiful sight before him. Kurt's pale body was graceful and pearly, and his cock was equally so. Dave loved how when Kurt's dick was hard for him, the marble-white column of flesh purpled at the tip, creating an exciting contrast. Dropping the supplies on the floor, he fell to his side next to Kurt and grabbed his own hardness. He brought their cocks together and circled both with one of his hands, and Kurt quickly followed suit. They thrust back and forth, groaning, into the tunnel made by their hands. They continued for a few moments, kissing sloppily, until Kurt broke away. "Gonna come soon," he gasped, eyes wild. "Want to come inside you, Dave."

"Oh God, yeah," responded Dave. He got to his knees and turned around, his back facing Kurt and hands gripping the coffee table. Kurt shifted to his knees as well, rolling on the condom with one hand as he flipped the top on the lube with the other. He coated two of his fingers with the slick gel and brought them to Dave's entrance. Knowing that they were both so hot, foreplay was completely unnecessary, he thrust both fingers in with little ceremony. Dave's back arched at the sensation, and he moaned loudly. Kurt worked his fingers fast and hard into his husband, watching Dave's muscular glutes flex and strain. "I'm ready," Dave said quickly, panting. "I don't need any more prep, babe. I just need your cock in me now." He squeezed his internal muscles around Kurt's fingers as they withdrew, making Kurt shudder with anticipation.

Kurt leaned back, holding himself up with one hand and guiding his prick to Dave's hole with the other. When he was pressed up against it, he brought his other hand back to the floor behind him. Ever so slowly, Dave began to press backwards, impaling himself on Kurt. He contracted his muscles in little pulses as he made his way down, wringing cries of delight from Kurt as he did. Dave may not have had a lot of sexual experience prior to being with Kurt, but in the two years since they'd met, he'd been a very apt student. And Kurt had been an excellent teacher, to say the least. He bottomed out finally; giving one more thrust backwards and feeling the head of Kurt's dick brush his prostate. "So deep," he gritted out, turning his head to look at the man behind him. Kurt's eyes were glazed over with pleasure, his brow and chest sheened with perspiration. "I'm gonna ride you, babe, 'till you explode. You want that?" he asked, thrusting back again.

"Unhn!" grunted Kurt, coming out of his lustful daze a little. "Yeah, Dave…oh shit, do it. Fucking do it."

Dave complied, beginning to lift himself up and down with his strong thighs. Slowly at first, then faster and harder as their passion built. Kurt eventually began thrusting his hips instead of being passively ridden by Dave, and the balance of power started to shift. Dave leaned forward and put his elbows on the coffee table; Kurt rose to his knees behind him, placing one hand on his shoulder and the other on the back of his head, finger curling into the short hair. He began to rut vigorously into Dave, his pelvis smacking audibly against Dave's ass as he drilled into him. Dave began to babble. "Oh God oh God oh God! Fuck me, Kurt. Pound my ass, babe, I love it so much. Love yooooooou!" he cried.

"Oh Dave!" shouted Kurt. "Oh fuck, I love you too so much baby I'm going to cooooooome…" He lost his words, moaning and thrusting as he emptied himself. He collapsed over Dave's sweaty back, and after a moment or two to recover, sat back on his heels and stripped the condom off. He touched Dave's hip gently. "Turn around, sweetheart," he said. "Let me take care of you." Dave turned, wincing a little, his cock standing straight out in front of him. Kurt could tell that Dave's erection was now uncomfortable, and without release, would escalate to pain soon. He motioned for Dave to sit on the coffee table, and Kurt moved into the vee of his legs. He opened his mouth and swallowed Dave down, not bothering with any teasing strokes or licks. Dave's hands went into his hair and gripped, guiding but not yanking or pushing, showing Kurt the speed needed to finally push him over. Kurt bobbled his head up and down, sucking strongly and opening up his throat so he didn't choke.

Dave felt his seed begin to rise, balls tightening in preparation to release their load. "Kurt…keep going," he pleaded. "Don't stop, I'm almost there. Gonna…gonna…oh fuck here it comes! Ohhhhhhhhhhh…" He ejaculated fiercely, spurting into Kurt's mouth. Kurt swallowed every drop down, sucking to get it all out until Dave was completely soft and became overly sensitive to the suction. He slipped his mouth off of Dave's penis and rested his head on a muscular and lightly furred thigh.

Dave ran his hand through the damp hair at Kurt's temple. "Happy anniversary, Kurt," he said blissfully.

Kurt roused himself and brought his lips to Dave's, kissing him softly. "Happy anniversary, Dave," he responded. He knew they would need to get up soon and clean up the mess from both dinner and the sex romp. But for the moment, he just wanted to relax in his husband's arms for a while, and think about how lucky he was to have him. And maybe to think about how spin the bottle wasn't such a stupid game after all.

Hope you enjoyed! Please review and let me know what you thought of this smutty little diversion. XD