Finding the Way
Synopsis: Voldemort has finally been vanquished by Harry Potter, but for Sarah Black Malfoy, even though their side won, her life was left in shambles. Her baby is dead, Snape and Draco have been arrested and her path seems uncertain. She must find the strength to find her own way in the world. Fourth in a series. Features Snape, Draco, Harry, George.
Previously: This is the fourth story in a series. This story is a parallel story to Love at Your Darkest (which is a story where Voldemort wins for a time). The first story in the series is And the Greatest of these is Love followed by Growing Up and Of Darkness and Light. Checkout those stories first, but a brief history: Snape had a sister, who was sorted into Gryffindor and ended up marrying Sirius Black, which estranged the two siblings. Years later upon his sister's death, he took guardianship of and then adopted his niece, Sarah Black. However, the adoption was a secret and people thought Snape took guardianship of her because he had made the unbreakable vow to his sister to do so. Upon Voldemort's return, he took an interest in the best friend of Harry Potter due to her pure-blood status (as a Black and Prince) and her magical ability, putting Sarah in a precarious position. He threatened her loved ones if she didn't comply and Sarah married long time friend and former love Draco Malfoy to try to ease the pressure off of her and put her in the position to spy for Harry. After her marriage, Voldemort's interest turned more sinister as he became determined to take her for himself. This story begins at the last part of the battle at Hogwarts. Fred is dead. Snape is recovering from his wounds. Harry is presumed dead. Sarah made her stand publicly against Voldemort and now she is fighting Bellatrix. Thanks all who found this story. Hope you enjoy!
Chapter One: Winning but Losing
Sarah Black Malfoy saw Bellatrix Lestrange coming for her, with fierceness and determination. Sarah defied her master publicly, tried to make a fool out of him and Bella was out for blood.
Her blood.
"Sarah" Hermione squealed, seeing Bella's wrath. Ginny ran to her side as well as they reached the Great Hall.
"I can't fight her on my own" she gasped, running. "She's going to kill me"
"We'll help"
Bellatrix was on a mission, determined, manic almost in her frenzy- her fury to get at her.
One of her spells almost knocked her off balanced. Even with Hermione and Ginny focusing on deflecting, Sarah couldn't cast spells to disable her. She saw Voldemort fighting with her professors, but he had an eye on her. She could feel it. He always had his eye on her.
Bellatrix cast a stunning spell that hit Ginny and then Hermione so it was just the two of them.
"That's better, little one. Let's see what you can do on your own without your friends to help you.
They engaged in battle- casting, deflecting, the rate of their spells was exhausting. She took another breath, trying to keep up with Bellatrix, when a spell hit her hard in her belly, knocking the wind out of her.
It seemed as if the whole battle paused at her scream of her horror. Bellatrix was laughing- the same laughter she had when she killed Sirius. The same laughter she had when she killed Fred.
The cramps in her stomach intensified.
Bellatrix had cursed her unborn child.
Her son. Draco's son.
It was horrific, her worst nightmare to lose Draco's child...her sweet, innocent son who had now become the latest causality of this war...of the darkness...of the mania of this woman.
She could feel her strength draining. Bellatrix continued laughing as Sarah struggled to maintain her control of her wand and stay upright.
And in that split moment, Sarah had a peace. She knew her course. For all her talk earlier, she knew what she had to do...she knew it deep down in her soul.
"You have to mean it, Sarah. Go on."
She stood there with one hand on her belly, the other tightly on her wand. And this time instead of hearing Snape's voice guiding her, she heard his voice...Voldemort's voice coaching her, instructing her, becoming her teacher.
"Wield your power. And it will come like that"
All those times of him whispering in her ear, teaching her...those times that she pretended to block out his words, they were now coming back full force.
"You have to mean it Sarah. Go on."
And she did mean it. She meant it with her whole heart. She was finishing this now- finishing Bellatrix's reign of terror. So many lives destroyed by her hands, it was time for Bellatrix's life to end. Now.
"Wield your power. And it will come like that"
And with a fierceness and determination that rivaled the most talented wizards, she pointed her wand at Bellatrix, "Avada Kedavra"
"No!" Voldemort yelled and tried to cast a spell to deflect, but he was too late. Never expecting her to try to kill her, Bellatrix was caught off guard and fell to a heap on the floor at her feet, the life gone from her.
Voldemort's scream of rage terrified her, yet she barely had time to process it before she fell onto a onto the floor in pain—not from a curse Voldemort cast, but Bellatrix's curse was still doing its work within her...and the dark magic she performed drained the last bit of energy she had left.
And with the battle still raging around her, her world became dark.
When she woke up again, she was unsure of how long she had been out, but she saw Voldemort stun her professors and head towards her with a fury.
But before he could get to her, to her amazement, a spell blocked his path to her.
"You will never touch her again!" Harry stepped out in front of him, "Do you understand me?"
The whole room stopped fighting and turned in shock to witness what was happening between Harry and Voldemort.
"You were supposed to be dead" Voldemort said.
"Well, I'm not" Harry said and turned to look around to the murmurings surrounding him, "It's between him and me. I don't want anyone else to help. It has to be me"
"Harry" Sarah whimpered.
"She's dying, Potter" Voldemort said, his eyes on her, "Maybe not now, but before the night is over. I am perhaps the only person on this earth who can save her- who is skilled enough to save her"
"I'm fine, Harry" she said, but even then she felt the blood seep through her clothes. She grimaced as she practically convulsed in pain. "Just finish him"
Voldemort laughed, "You really think he knows more magic than I do? Than I, Lord Voldemort, who has performed magic that your precious Dumbledore never dreamed of"
"He dreamed of it, alright" Harry said, "but he knew more than you, he knew not to do it"
"Weakness!" Voldemort yelled, "That's all it was"
"No, he was stronger than you, a better wizard, a better man"
"Then why was it I who brought about the death of Albus Dumbledore?"
"You see you thought you did" Harry arched his head, "but you didn't have him killed. He chose his own way of dying, months before he died. He chose the manner of his death and he arranged it with the man you thought was your servant"
"Is this about Snape again?" Voldemort practically snorted, "he may have loved her" he pointed his wand in Sarah's direction, "I know not. I can believe he took measures to protect her, but there was no way he wasn't mine. He had her fooled. He had you fooled. "
"I was never yours!" A voice thundered throughout the hall as a restored Snape strode in, followed by Draco.
"Sarah!" Draco yelled when he saw her on the ground, surrounded by her blood.
Snape looked over to Sarah was lying, his face registering shock then horror. He ran to her, knelt beside her, and picked her up in his arms, holding her against him. "What did you do?" he demanded of Voldemort, his eyes not hiding his anger.
"It was Bella" Voldemort glanced over to him. "She cursed her child"
Draco crouched down next to them his hand on her shoulder.
"Where is she?" Snape said, angrily.
Voldemort gestured her head, "Your daughter has excelled in the dark arts, Severus. Killed her outright. Her first try"
"I had to, Dad" Sarah whimpered against him.
"It's alright" Severus hushed her. He picked her up. "Go ahead and finish it, Potter"
"I'm the only one who can save her, Severus" Voldemort said, "Help me kill Potter now and I'll save her life. Otherwise, when I win, I'll let her die"
Severus shook his head at him, "You made a promise before to save the woman I loved. You didn't keep that promise. You killed her and ever since then, I made a promise to myself to do whatever it takes to bring about your downfall. Now, excuse me, I have to go save my daughter's life. And rest assured, I will succeed"
Narcissa came up beside him, "I'll help Sev" she said, quietly.
"Quickly, Narcissa" Severus said, "She's losing a lot of blood"
Snape rushed her down the length of the Great Hall.
"I want to know what is happening!" she exclaimed, but then her head got all woozy from the blood loss and she had trouble holding it up. "Oh Merlin, my head feels so heavy"
"Hush, child" Snape said, taking his hand and pinned her head against his chest, "Rest your head against me"
"How much blood am I losing?"
"A lot" Snape said grimly, "Don't worry"
"I'm not" she said, "I have you"
He eased her down in the bed and propped up a pillow up. "Draco, come hold her hand"
Draco came to her side, sat on the bed with her, and reached for her hand, "Is that baby alright?" he asked, worried.
Severus swiped his wand over Sarah's stomach.
"I'm sorry, Draco" Sarah whispered, her throat dry, "I never should have risked our child's life by standing up to him"
Draco's eyes filled with tears but he didn't respond.
"Draco"
"We'll talk about that later" Severus said, firmly, "Right now, I need to talk to you"
"What is it, Dad?" she asked, grimacing as more pain hurt, "Oh, Merlin, this hurts..."
"The baby is..." Severus paused at her look. She knew already.
"I know" Sarah's eyes filled with tears, "I knew it right away"
"Now, we have to focus on saving your life" Severus said as she twisted against the pain.
"What is happening?"
"I'm not sure" Severus said, gravely, "The diagnostic charm indicates that the baby is very close to coming, but also indicates that your body has done nothing to get ready for that to happen" he chose his words carefully, trying to explain in a way that wouldn't scare her or shock her.
"She isn't dilated?" Narcissa asked, her mouth opening.
"Not according to the charm"
"Could the charm be wrong?" Sarah squeezed Draco's hand as the pain became unbearable, "bloody hell, this hurts"
"There is also considerable damage" Severus said, "Let's make sure the charm isn't wrong"
"Should we call the mediwitches?" Narcissa asked him, discreetly.
"This is magic of the darkest kind, Narcissa" Snape said, reaching for a sheet to wrap around Sarah to provide her some modesty, "do you believe they know more about dark magic then we do?"
"No" she said, slowly.
"Have they studied for years the dark arts?" he demanded. "Or healing magic to save ones from various dark spells that he has inflicted on others?"
"We need him then" she said, honestly. "he knows more than all of us combined"
"He is probably dead already" Severus said. "we must do this ourselves. Clear your mind, Sarah"
"What?" she asked him, panicked about what he was going to do as he shifted the sheet.
"Clear your mind" He told her firmly, "Now"
She struggled to clear her mind and block out what was happening next. Draco looked over curiously and then averted his eyes again, "Is it normal to be bleeding that much?"
"No" Snape said, his voice short, his brow furrowed in concentration. "The charm was right"
"Are you sure?" Narcissa asked.
"Yes" Snape grunted, "Draco, go get Potter"
"Potter?" Draco asked, aghast. "What can he do?"
"Not him!" Snape snapped, "We need the wand"
"The wand, Dad?" Sarah asked, "Oh Merlin" she gasped, "I have to push. The baby is right there"
"No!" Snape reached to grip her arm, "Do not push. Draco, hurry!"
"What wand?" Draco asked, rising immediately.
"The Elder Wand" Snape said, "We need the elder wand"
"Dad!" Sarah screamed. "Dad, help!"
Severus gathered her in his arms, "Hang on, sweetheart, it's going to be fine. I promise" he murmured to her.
"I'm going to die, aren't I?" She whimpered. "I wanted to die while he was living, but now he is gone, I don't want to die. I want...I want so much. I'm so scared. I'm going to die, aren't I?" she began to shake uncontrollably.
"No, no, no" Severus soothed, "I'm not going to let you die. I promise" He looked at Narcissa, "Put her to sleep, Cissy"
The shaking turned into full out convulsions and she clung to Severus. "Dad!" she screamed out again, against the unbearable pain that was starting to tear through her.
"Oh Merlin, she is seizing!" Snape exclaimed, "Put her to sleep now!"
Suddenly, she knew no more.
"What is happening?" Harry rushed through the door with Draco followed by Hermione and Ron.
"I need the wand, Potter" Snape said, outstretching his hand, "It's our only hope"
Harry immediately handed him the wand.
"Is he gone?" Snape looked up for a moment.
"Yes"
"Good" Snape nodded, "You should go. This is going to get messy"
Hermione began to pull a shaken Ron out.
"I can't go" Draco said.
"Dragon, you need to go" Narcissa affirmed Severus's words.
"I can't"
"Let him stay" Severus said, "it's his wife and child"
"What if the wand doesn't obey your command, Professor Snape?" Harry asked, quietly.
"Then I suppose you'll have to help" Snape said, his voice grim. "Stand by her head and wait for me to tell you what to do"
Harry nodded and Draco and him moved quickly by her side.
"She's so cold" Harry exclaimed as he reached for her hand, "What is happening?"
"I don't know" Severus said.
"This is not good" Narcissa exclaimed after swiping her wand several times.
"I know" Severus's face was taunt.
"What should we do?" Draco asked. "Is that the...?" his face crumpled.
"I'm sorry, Draco" Severus said as he handed Narcissa the child. "Merlin help us" Sev said, under his breath, "The wand...it doesn't respond to me properly. Potter, come here"
"Sev" Narcissa came back, "even if you save her life, she will never be able to have children again"
"She wants to have children" Harry said, quietly, "I know she does"
Severus glanced at Draco and then Harry. "There is a spell that could work, but it's...it's..." he struggled.
"Dark Magic?" Harry shook his head, "No, we have to be different. She would want us to be different. Otherwise, what did he die for?"
"Draco?" Severus asked, quietly. "She is your wife"
Draco looked torn, "Potter is right. No dark magic. Do what you can"
"Then, Harry, you have to help. Maybe with the wand we can repair and reverse some of this" Severus said.
"Don't worry about that, Uncle Sev" Draco said, his voice cracking, "Just save her life"
Later that night, Draco sat on the steps amongst the ruins, alone.
"It's cold out here" Hermione said, coming to sit behind him.
"Yeah, such a different night than last night" Ron said, sitting next to her, her arm around her.
"Drink this" Harry said, handing him some water, sitting down on the step next to him. Draco took a sip and sat it down.
"Thanks" he buried his head in his hands again.
"I was thinking" Harry rubbed his hands on his pants, "we should bury the baby"
"Mother said she would take care of it" Draco mumbled.
"But..." Harry took a breath, "Sarah would want us to say a few words. She would want to make it special"
"She loved that baby" Hermione said, softly, "He needs a name"
Draco began to cry, brokenly. "I can't" he sobbed.
Harry put an awkward hand on his back. "I know, mate, but she would want that"
"Why hasn't she woken up?" Draco looked over at him through his tears, trying to compose himself, embarrassed that he was so emotional, "Snape says he doesn't know if she will"
"The curse affected her. We are lucky she is still alive" Hermione said, "I have to believe she will wake up, Draco"
"Sarah is a fighter" Ron nodded, trying to appear confident, "The best there is. She'll wake"
"They are going to arrest me" Draco said, burying his face again, "They are already eying Snape. It's only Lupin and Weasley's dad that is intervening. Everyone with the mark will be taken to trial. I could end up in Azkaban and what would happen to her?"
"We are her friends" Harry said, seriously, "We will take care of her. But we'll testify. We'll testify about how you helped us. And how you helped Sarah. You won't go to Azkaban"
"Harry's right" Hermione said."They won't send you to Azkaban"
"No way" Ron agreed.
They fell silent before Harry said, quietly, "Orion. It has the tradition of Black names and it was Sirius's middle name. She would love that"
"And Draco as a middle name" Hermione added. "Also a family tradition"
"Do you really think she would want to name our son after me?" Draco asked, surprised.
"Absolutely" Harry nodded, "She has always thought the best of you. You should know that"
"Orion Draco Malfoy" Draco said, looking over it him and then back at Ron and Hermione, "It's perfect. Thank you"
"You're welcome" Harry responded. They spent the next hour in silence, staring out at the starry night.
"Sarah. Your father and I would like to talk with you"
She looked up to see her mum and dad sit beside her on the bench.
"Isn't he beautiful?" she asked, going back to staring at her son in the cradle, rocking him slightly with her hand, keeping a steady rhythm. "Yes, you are, the most beautiful baby boy in the world" she cooed at her son.
The baby rewarded her efforts with a smile.
"He just smiled" Sarah said, her eyes shining, "Did you see that?"
"I did" Grace said, "he loves his mama"
"James thinks he likes like you, Paddy" Sirius said, proudly. "He's our first grandchild"
"Funny, I think he has Draco's coloring" Sarah murmured, "Does Uncle Prongs really think he look like me? Are you sure he just doesn't want him to look like Draco?"
"He's perfect no matter who he looks like, Sarah" her mother looked unsure and gave her father a pointed look that was not missed by Sarah.
She looked over at her mum, wearily, "Then what is the problem?"
"It's time, love" Grace said, gently.
"No" she shook her head, swiftly, "I don't want it to be time"
"You have been here too long" Sirius said, "if you remain here any longer..."
"It hasn't felt like long..."
"I know, sweetheart" Sirius said, "but still...it's time for you to go back"
"He's my son" Sarah's voice broke, "I can't leave him here"
"We'll take care of him" Grace said, "the four of us together. He won't be alone. I promise, Sarah Grace. But you still have your life to live...and the more you stay here, the more you become attached"
"What does Dumbledore say?"
"He told us to talk to you" Sirius said.
"What does Fred say?"
"Fred says that he will help us take care of him for you. Says he has lots of experience with babies between Ron and Ginny"
"Really?" she asked. "He wants me to go back"
"Yes, he risked his life for you for a reason. He wants you to have your future. He loves you, Sarah" Grace said, gently, "We will all love this baby for you. Trust us. But you have your life to live"
"But without the baby, I don't know that I want to, mum" she said, her heart heavy.
"Sweet girl" Sirius reached out to stroke her hair, "your life can still be beautiful. We never wanted this for you. It's not your time now"
"How do you know?" she demanded.
"We just know, love" Grace retorted. "There are people that need you"
"Who needs me?"
"Sev for one" Grace said, "You still have a message to give him from Lily and I. And you should see him, love. He is devastated at the thought of losing you."
Sarah bit her lip. "Yes" she couldn't deny that. "But he's the only one"
"Draco too" Sirius added, "I never liked the bloke, but he needs you too"
"And Harry" Grace added, "he needs his best friend"
"He has Ron and Hermione and Ginny" Sarah's voice cracked.
"But he needs you" Grace told her, gently. "You have so much to live for. You just need to choose to do it"
"What if my life turns out horrible?" Sarah's brow furrowed in worry. "What if I go back and nothing is ever right again?"
"It won't be horrible" Sirius soothed.
"How do you know?" Sarah asked.
"Because you, our daughter" Grace said, "Are the bravest, smartest, sweetest, strongest girl we know. And even if your life is broken now, you can build it back up. You have so much to do- so much to accomplish. He saw that in you, but now that Voldemort is gone, you can do all those things for the light. You are going to do great things"
"You are biased" Sarah told her.
"Not so" Sirius said. "Be brave, Paddy. Whatever your life throws at you, be brave. Be bold."
She took another reluctant look at her son, "I think I should name him" she picked him up holding him tight against her. She thought for a few minutes and then she knew.
"Orion Draco Malfoy" she sniffled. "I love you"
"Orion after me?" Sirius asked, smiling.
She snuggled her head against her son, "Yes, of course. Nobody better to name this baby after than his grandfather and father"
She breathed in the baby's scent before handing him to her mother, "Take care of him please"
"We will" Sirius nodded.
"Tell Aunt Lily and Uncle James that I love them and Fred that I love him too and I will always remember him"
"They all know that"
"Good" she reached to rub the baby's head. "You will always be with me" she told her son, "in my heart always. I promise you that"
And with a final goodbye, she stood and left them.
Her body felt so heavy, so leaden. Every part of her body ached and she was so cold. She never thought she would be warm again. She groaned and struggled to open her eyes. She tried to clear her throat to say something.
"Sarah!"
"Neville?" Sarah coughed, "Can I have water?"
"Sure!" He smiled a wide smile at her, "Let's sit you up. I should tell the mediwitch on duty and Harry wants me to floo call him"
"Harry?" she asked, weakly.
"We have been taking turns around the clock the last month...Hermione, Ron, George, Percy, Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, Luna, Harry, Lupin, Andromeda, myself. He didn't want you alone at all"
"Month?" Sarah's mind struggled to keep up, "I've been asleep for a month"
Neville shifted, "I should look Harry explain. He wants to see you straight off"
"Wait" Sarah drank the water he handed her, trying to ease her sore throat, "Where is Snape? Draco?"
"Harry wants to see you straight away" Neville told her, patting her arm, "I'll go get him. It's so good to see you again. I knew you would wake up! I just knew it!" He ran off leaving Sarah to lay her head back on the headboard. She looked around. She was at Snape Manor...but with no Snape.
A few minutes later, Harry came back in, his hair wild.
"Sarah" Harry's grin was huge, "How are you feeling?"
"Sore and tired" she admitted.
"The mediwitch is on her way back" he sat down next to her on her bed, "She was on break. We have been giving you potions to make you stronger when you did wake, but they said you would still be sore"
"Well, I am" Sarah said, "but it's not too awful. You didn't have to rush over here"
"Of course I did" Harry said, "It's so good to see you"
She managed a smiled and slowly raised her hand to pat down his hair, "Your hair is a mess"
"Yeah, well" Harry gave her a goofy grin, "I was in the middle of something"
She eyed him, "Something naughty?" she asked, knowingly.
"Now, Sarah Grace" Harry scolded.
"You missed me" she murmured.
"I did. We all did. Hermione and Ron too...things just aren't the same without you" he said, "What do you remember?"
She thought back as Harry reached for her hand, threading it through his, "I remember the night of the last battle. Fred dying. You dying. Bellatrix cursing me. You coming back. Snape trying to save me" she paused, "Voldemort is dead"
"Yes, he is" Harry squeezed her hand, "And he is never going to hurt you again"
She bit her lip as her eyes welled up, "I lost my baby"
"Yes" Harry's voice was gentle, "We buried him next to your mother. I'll take you there when you feel up to it"
"I'd like that" she swallowed hard. "Harry, where is Snape? I'd like to see him"
"There is no easy way to tell you this" Harry said, running his hand through his hair, trying to pat it down, "Snape has been arrested"
"Arrested?" Sarah asked, aghast.
"All the ones with the dark mark will have a trial" Harry said, "his defense looks good though. Andromeda Tonks is defending him"
"I want to see him" Sarah said.
"I'm not sure" Harry shifted, "I can tell him...when you are feeling better"
"But..."
"He doesn't want you involved, but Andromeda thinks you will be called to testify if you woke and since you did, then you probably will be"
"When is his trial set?"
"The ministry is a little backed up" Harry said, "a few weeks maybe...maybe a few months at the most"
"And he is in Azkaban?" Sarah asked, horrified.
"No, he is just in a secure location. I made sure he wasn't put in Azkaban"
"And Draco?"
"Sarah" Harry looked uncomfortable, "About Draco...the ministry..."
"Has he been arrested too?" Sarah interrupted.
"Yes, but he was released under Narcissa's custody to await his trial"
"Okay" she said slowly, "Can I see Draco?"
"I don't know" he said, honestly, "Things are complicated"
"What does that mean?"
"The ministry examined your marriage in the past few weeks. They believe you were coerced in marrying him and they took it upon themselves to annul it"
"They did what?" Sarah choked and Harry handed her more water, "They can't just do that"
Harry squirmed and then looked into her eyes, "Draco had the opportunity to protest it, but he chose not to"
"He allowed our marriage to be annulled?" Sarah's voice was small.
"Yes"
"Why?"
"I think you'll have to ask him" Harry said, gently.
Her heart was shattered. Her son dead. Snape and Draco arrested. Her marriage annulled.
They had won, but she very much felt like they had lost.
All the sudden, she just wanted to sleep again. "I'm really shattered"
"You should rest" Harry said, "The mediwitch will be here in a few minutes. Rest until she comes"
He helped her lay back down and she turned on her side. He moved to the chair next to her bed. "Harry?"
"Yeah, Sarah?"
"Why does it feel like we lost?"
Harry reached to stroke her hair, "We'll figure this all out. Focus on getting better first"
"I want Snape" her lip trembled and tears spilled over.
"I know"
She sniffed hard, "Would it too much trouble for you to give me a hug?"
"No trouble at all" Harry said, moving to her side again, and gathering her up in his arms, rocking her against him as she began to cry, "It will work out. You'll see. I promise"
She didn't respond, because she didn't know how things could ever be right again.
A/N: Please review! And follow...and don't forget to check out the parallel fic, Love at Your Darkest. Thanks!