Another attempt to try and get myself out of Block. There were a bunch of songs that influenced this, but 'Pain' By Three Days Grace would most likely be the biggest. Otherwise...not much to say. I always feel a bit...indifferent, after writing rather-dark fics like this. (To be honest, I feel that angst is the best way to describe this pairing anyway.) Enjoy.
unrequited . . .
'I'm going to try one more time, okay? Just once, and if it happens AGAIN, then I'll leave him alone for good. Forever, I promise. I swear, this will be the last time. I won't even think of him after this, alright? Promise PROMISE.'
'Why do you even bother with him..?'
'Because I LOVE-'
'So? What about him? Has he ever proved to you that he felt the same way?'
No.
But still.
STILL.
They were just silly because they had obviously never felt this way towards a person and therefore could not possibly begin to fathom how amazing it is to feel this amazing emotion he just needed time that's all just time to realize that maybe they were meant for each other and—
…One more time, I promise.
-.-
"…Hi, there." Greeting? Check. Posture? Check. Smile?
…It's pending. Just wait for the perfect moment…
…O-oh, that's odd, he didn't even glance at her this time.
Well that's fine, too! He was never one to stay consistent, anyway.
Liar. There's something wrong. Turn around; stop talking, run away—
"…Is something the matter? Are you okay?" Don't smile now, idiot. Do something comforting…
Why are you still standing there? Make him acknowledge you for God's sake.
I can't make him do anything.
He tensed under her touch, eyes flickering towards the hand upon his shoulder for a few brief moments before he scowled, shrugging it off and turning in the opposite direction.
No, please look at me. Please? I guess I'll just…sit down…
"You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but you shouldn't keep it pent up inside, either. It's not healthy."
"…"
Say something, anything. I want to help you…that's all.
"…Do you…do you want me to leave you alone? Because I can…if you want…"
I don't usually ask you for much…but say 'no', please?
The silence is really worrying me…
…You're not usually like this…
And suddenly his eyes were on her for the first time since she had arrived. No smile…but it wasn't as if she had expected anything out-of-the-ordinary such as that that anyway. And just as she was about to make another attempt to keep the one-sided conversation alive—
"…Do you really want to know what I want…?"
"A-ah…of c-c-course…"
I can't talk…how did you do that? I…I think I've forgotten how to breathe…
If only you could help me…
"I want you…" He inched closer, eyes narrowing into slits.
…Wait…
"…I want you to leave. Because…"
Suffocating…that's what it was…his words were hanging in the air…she refused to breathe them in…
"…if it wasn't obvious by now…I'm never going to feel the same way."
…I think I'll take a turn being silent now.
I don't want you to see me like this…please…could you look away…?
Hunched over, dry-heaving sobs that made the back of her throat feel like it was on fire…
Was he still looking at her? Was he even there anymore? …She couldn't bring herself to look up.
Then again…it wasn't as if the abandonment had to be visible for her to feel it…
I made a promise. No more chances…
No more thinking about him. No more mentioning his name.
"I…I…know you won't."
-.-
Right…there. Careful now.
Cold metal against sweating skin.
Keep a firm grip on it now; you've only got once chance at this.
Because a promise is a promise.
"I'm leaving you alone now…okay? I promise I won't bother you again.
"Problem is…I can't stop thinking about you…
"…So I'm going to fix that…"
A quick screech, as the kunai sliced through her pale leather like paper, and then there was SILENCE.
I love you; but I don't think I can love you anymore.[1]
end.
[1] - First lyric in 'Break Up' by Mario. I do not own nor claim to own this song.