His love was as great as the oceans, though he had never seen the seas. His heart was as broken as the earth, though he never belonged among men. It was like living blindly, and Naruto didn't know where to go from there.
Naruto had never been one for crying. He had long since learned that it was the shinobi way to hold them back and to let the rivers flow freely inside rather than opening the floodgates and risk your whole village. Circumstances are different, of course, based on such and in this current situation, alone in a faraway corner of the Hokage's mansion, an 18 year old Naruto knew that he had nothing to lose. He gripped tightly to the metal headband, letting its worn edges dig into his palm as tears flowed in steams onto the floor. He reached desperately into his soul, searching for some sort of will to stop this maddening circle of crying that came when the pain in his hand became nearly too much to handle. It was nothing though, compared to what was going on inside his head.
"Naruto." Kurama whispered, strangely empathetic. "stop this nonsense or you will give the both of us a headache."
He couldn't stop though. Wiping his nose, Naruto tried his hardest to taper into sniffling tears with little luck. The flow became less constant though, and within the hour, he was sitting on the bench, sunlight no longer streaming in through the nearby window as night rolled in.
The headband that he held so tightly to was speckled in blood, though not any that belonged to the owner. It was nearly crushed in Naruto's hand as the memories came flooding back to him, nearly sending him back into soul crushing sobs.
"Willful resistance." Kurama's voice came from the back of his mind, trying his best to console him. Naruto paid it no attention though, too overcome with his own grief to hear his companion.
"Sasuke…" He squeezed even tighter to the headband, mimicking the ever growing tightness in his heart.
Did Sakura know, he wondered. What about Kakashi? He hadn't even made it out the door by the time he was overcome, having to seek refuge in a distant corner of the Mansion. For that matter, Tsunade hadn't even finished explaining. It was when aforementioned article was placed in his hands that the torment had begun, guilt and sorrow wracking his entire being. It would be a miracle that the others hadn't been informer before him – it seemed that he was always the last to know things these days.
"Forgive me Sasuke."
Perhaps, he thought, if he had been more capable from the beginning, he would have been able to bring him home sooner, and this end would never have come to fruition.
"He didn't want to be found."
His guilty conscious wouldn't let him hear it though – they were like empty promises to Naruto. It felt, to him, like there was a hole where his heart used to be, reminding him that his entire being was being torn in two, as Sasuke took part of his heart with him. That part belonged to him – it was no longer a heart that was one person, but two hearts made of two halves. Naruto reminded himself to breath, choking on the air that permeated his lungs. It was thick and heavy and was treated like some volatile liquid. His chest tightened even more, squeezing his soul of all its life, letting it come out in more congested sobs.
A hand came to rest lightly on his shoulder. Naruto looked up, meeting with the swimming green eyes of his other, long time companion. Sakura's eyes were also dancing with tears as she failed to hold back her emotions, succumbing to the call of mourning. She kneeled down, Naruto's eyes following her, their gazes never parting. When she was at last on her knees, a sob, cold and dying, broke way through her throat as tears came pouring out of her eyes. Naruto, who's crying had ceased for a moment, began to weep once again as well.
A moan escaped his throat and it felt like his mind was being tortured into submission by his own miserable self. Depression loomed overhead like a dark and ominous cloud, a storm coming quickly. He could feel his heart being ripped into shreds, a feeling he thought that he would never know. It was a feeling that he wished he could forget. With his one free hand, Naruto clung to his shirt, gripping at the fabric that hung near his chest. A roaring scream tore through his body. Sakura, who still knelt by his feet, scrambled backwards in surprise. The tears began to slow even more swiftly as shrieks continued to escape Naruto's body. It was all he could do to even remotely contain himself.
Kurama had quieted himself long ago, realizing that there was nothing he could do to console his friend. It was a feeling that he was unaccustomed to, and it too caused his very being to shatter, sending shrill heartache throughout his enigmatic body.
By now, several other Jounin had gathered near the corner, peeking around the corner, watching as their future Hokage relinquished all power into lamentation, a fight which he knew he could not win. Shikamaru, amongst the other Jounin, hung his head low, knowing full well what this meant to Naruto – that the fight he had tried so hard to win had been lost.
So many years had passed, Shikamaru had barely even noticed it happening, but it seemed that his friend's obsession had turned into an all-consuming one. These, he knew, were not tears for a fallen comrade. They were tears of fallen love, like the ones he had shed for Asuma – it seemed like only yesterday.
Every instinct told him to go to his comrade, though he knew full well that it would do no good. A heart could only be fixed by the one that had torn it into pieces, and this person hadn't done so intentionally.
The other Jounin understood as well, keeping their distance from the two Shinobi. Even Sakura, who hadn't hesitated to approach Naruto, began to back away slowly, realizing that there was nothing she could do for him. Even she wasn't blind to what had come to culmination over the past few years. She had watched it with even more perceptive eyes than any of her peers, recognizing the undying will that Naruto held as something she too knew all too well.
The crowd watched in sorrow as the man they had all looked up to broke in their very midst. They had all assumed it would happen one day, though over something much larger. This though, felt earth shattering to the young man. Like a wave crashing down on him, it pressed all of the air from his lungs and all of the hope from his world. It was like dying but even more painful and it showed in the screams that tore through the mansion. Villagers on the street stopped to look up at the building, wondering what on earth was going on. The Hokage sat in her office, scolding herself for telling him like she did.
Sasuke was dead.
The phrase rang through his mind at blinding speed, numbing his mind to all other senses. Nothing could calm the storm for now, as it ripped through the inside of Naruto's soul. It was a pain so unimaginable, so unbearable, he thought that he might die from it right there, sitting on that bench.
"Sasuke!" he shrieked hysterically. The other ninja began to cry then too, feeling it in their own hearts – the loss of their comrade, if you could even call him that. But as Naruto screamed his name, it sent shivers down their spines, the humanity of their god coming into light. He was a boy, they all remembered. He was breaking at the loss of someone very dear to him.