Title: she's out there on her own, (and she's all right)
Disclaimer: Per usual, my ownership is limited to the DVD's and my twisted imagination.
Rating: T
Summary: And the sky blue envelope smelling of cinnamon and sage is the symbol of her burning insanity for a woman, who is halfway across the world and on her own. TL/KF
Oh, light the sky and hold on tight
The world is burning down
She's out there on her own, and she's all right
Sunny Come Home – Shawn Colvin
It doesn't take her two years to receive the first letter. It takes three weeks, six hours and twenty minutes for the crumpled-up letter to be shoved through her mail slot and it takes another two days, three hours and five minutes before she forces herself to read the damned letter. Kim Fischer is many things and a good (patient) lover is not one of those many things; the sky blue envelope smelling of cinnamon and sage makes her anger spike and causes a heat in the pit of her stomach to coil tightly.
No, Kim Fischer is both impatient and selfish when it comes to love. So, she tries to blame the sender for their distance. It's why she ignores the letter for two days, and it's why she almost does the right thing by telling Abbott that Teresa Lisbon wrote to her…but the right thing, to Kim, is (of course) the wrong thing to do.
Abbott, she thinks, has never been in love. If he had, she thinks he'd understand that love makes you do stupid things. It makes you keep secrets and hide small trinkets in crawlspaces, but it also makes you insane and Kim Fischer thinks she likes being quite insane.
(And the sky blue envelope smelling of cinnamon and sage is the symbol of her burning insanity for a woman, who is halfway across the world and on her own.)
Surprisingly, Jane hints at her to open the letter.
"The victim left a letter for her lover," Jane comments to her, sipping at his tea, as they're poring over a case file. Kim nearly chokes, Abbott doesn't notice. "If I were the lover, I'd want to know why. I wouldn't want our last goodbye to be several bullets and prison bars."
She doesn't ask how he knows, only because Jane seems to know everything.
Instead, she takes his advice and opens the letter with the full intention of getting drunk later on.
Kim, she reads.
(She doesn't make it past the first sentence, before she's angry again. Teresa should be here and not out on her own, running from the cops for a crime she didn't commit.)
::::
Abbott tells her to check herself when she storms into the bullpen, eyes red, and blames him for half-assed investigating. She blames him for not doing his job, properly. She blames him for forcing her through this heartache. Jane doesn't seem too surprised; Cho's in the kitchenette and Wiley's mouth is wide open in surprise. Kim doesn't stand down from Abbott's glare, instead she decides to plop herself down aside Jane on his couch. Abbott eventually excuses himself and out of sight, later on, Jane wraps his arm around her and indiscreetly tells her Lisbon will be all right.
(She bets he knows the true reason for her outburst; the fact that she—they— may never see Teresa alive again.)
"I never did learn what the victim said to the lover," Jane speaks and Kim glances back at him, hiding her frown.
"The same thing you've been telling me for four weeks," Kim replies, softly. "We'll be all right."