Treat Him Well
Six of Kohona's most famous and skilled Shinobi sat outside the tea shop with cups set on the table. Their tea was untouched as the Shinobi were too busy frowning at the two figures coming down the street towards them. A plate of biscuits was placed on the table and they thanked the waiter absently, staring at the two figures with disapproval clearly written on the faces of Kiba, Shino, Choji, Neji, Lee and Shikamaru.
"I don't know what Naruto sees in him," Neji said emotionlessly, folding his arms. "He betrayed us all."
Shino looked sideways. "At least he is back and Naruto is happy. I have not seen him this content in a long time."
"Not since that bastard defected," Kiba growled, reaching under the table to give Akamaru a biscuit. The figures reached them and they each smiled at Naruto, ignoring his partner completely. Sasuke wasn't fazed by the cold greeting.
"Hey guys!" Naruto chirped. "How's training going?"
"My training is going wonderful!" Lee shouted, falling back into the nice guy pose. Neji rolled his eyes at his teammate.
"What are you up to?" the Hyuga asked, his usual deadpan in place.
"Oh nothing much. We're just taking a walk." Naruto turned his head as Sasuke tugged on his hand. "Well I'll see you later." He waved and strolled away, holding hands with the Uchiha.
Shikamaru rounded on the others. "Okay, we have to do something. I know I don't normally put in a lot of effort, but for this I have to."
"What are you talking about?" Kiba asked.
"I know Sasuke means a lot to Naruto and they're in love and all that, but what if he defects again? We have to make sure he doesn't."
Lee clapped his hands together. "What do you have in mind?"
Shikamaru merely smirked.
o.O.o
1. Kiba
His quarry was moving closer and was completely unaware of the trap that had been set. A shadow moved with the stealth of a hunter and signalled to his partner. Nodding, his partner crouched low in the bushes.
The quarry came into view, carrying a large load of wood for delivery at the Academy. As an ex-runaway, this was the only kind of mission he could be trusted to perform at this point in time.
Shadow and partner stilled as their quarry approached, completely unaware of the impending attack. The partner prepared to leap, moving silently behind the quarry. As if sensing the presence, the quarry turned around. But he was too late.
Akamaru jumped at Sasuke, growling and barking like a dog from hell. Sasuke dropped the wood and made a hand signal, but chakra dampeners were around his wrists and he couldn't use any jutsu. Yelping, he turned and jumped away from Akamaru's yapping jaws. The dog stopped, growling, and bared his teeth unkindly.
"Kiba!" Sasuke shouted, trying desperately to maintain his usual cool demeanour. Kiba stepped out from behind a tree, hands in his pockets nonchalantly.
"Hello Sasuke," he said calmly, meeting the Uchiha's poisonous gaze.
"Call your beast off!" Sasuke spat.
"I'm here to give you a warning." Kiba ignored the raven-haired boy. "If you hurt Naruto in any way, you'll have us to contend with."
"Okay, okay, you've given me the warning. Now call him off!"
A slow grin, remarkably similar to Akamaru's snarl, stretched across Kiba's face and he raised a hand to point at the Uchiha. "I think not." His voice took on a gleeful and commanding tone. "Akamaru – attack!"
Sasuke shrieked and bolted, Akamaru hot on his heels. Kiba doubled over in laughter and ran to keep up with them, continuing to howl in delight as Akamaru chased the Uchiha all the way to Suna, yapping at the heels of the screaming boy.
o.O.o
2. Shino
An exhausted Sasuke entered his apartment, peering left and right to make sure there were no hidden nasties. Shino smirked from his vantage point on the rooftop opposite the Uchiha's apartment. Sasuke had looked everywhere but out the window.
He watched as the Uchiha crossed to his bed and collapsed with exhaustion from his unexpected trip to Suna that morning. Obviously Kiba had done his job well, for the ex-runaway was too tired to even think straight. Shino lifted his hand, sending a trail of bugs over to form a bridge between his vantage point and Sasuke's window. No one looked up as the Aburame boy walked along his bridge of bugs and that was just how he liked it.
The window opening alerted Sasuke to his presence. Opening his eyes, Sasuke saw Shino and groaned before clambering out of bed and retreating stiffly from his bedroom. He reached out to push the door open but he couldn't move further.
Smiling, Shino completed Secret Technique: Insect Sphere and watched as his bugs covered Sasuke's entire body, engulfing him completely. Sasuke shouted with anger as the bugs swarmed across his face.
Shino walked over to Sasuke and stood with his hands in his pockets. "This is a secret jutsu of the Aburame clan. You cannot escape."
"You're trespassing," Sasuke moaned in annoyance. "What is it with you guys? Do you have some vendetta against me?"
"Yes."
"Huh?"
"This jutsu eats away an opponent's chakra bit by bit until the enemy is dead. If you hurt Naruto I will use this technique and kill you."
"Okay. I promise!"
"Promises can be broken." Shino called his bugs off and strolled past an annoyed Sasuke, exiting through the front door.
o.O.o
3. Choji
For two whole days the Uchiha had been wary around his old teammates, suspicious of another attack. When none were forthcoming he began to relax, though he still hadn't forgiven Kiba and Shino for their double-attack.
As Sasuke's guard was slipping, Choji took action.
The Akimichi strolled into the outdoor training area, separate from the rest of the village to give Shinobi some training space, and watched Sasuke attack a wooden post for a short while. Once Sasuke became aware of Choji's presence, he stopped his pretend fight and nodded at the other boy.
"Hello," he said evenly.
"You're pretty strong, huh?" Choji casually leant against one of the wooden posts. "Can you beat Naruto yet?"
"About as much as he beats me," Sasuke admitted, wiping his forehead. He bent down to grab his water bottle and Choji saw his chance.
While the Uchiha was looking away, Choji pressed his hands together and shouted, "Super Multi-Size Jutsu!"
Sasuke looked up and saw Choji's huge bum looming over him. He shrieked and turned to run, but was squashed under the massive bulk. Choji grinned and crossed his legs, ignoring the cries from a squashed and desperate Sasuke.
"I'll kill you for this!" Sasuke screeched.
"No, I'll kill you if you hurt Naruto again." Choji reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of super-sized chips, munching happily to increase his stamina. He could sit here for hours, but Sasuke would run out of air after a while. Killing the Uchiha wasn't on the agenda, as that would hurt Naruto. He sort of wished he could actually kill him, but that would be cruel. Then again, if he wanted to lessen Sasuke's survival time he could fart.
Sighing, Choji swallowed the rest of the chips and leant back on huge hands, tilting his head to stare up at the sky. Sasuke had stopped struggling, giving up to the inevitable. An hour passed and Choji pressed his hands together and brought himself back to his normal size, turning to face the humiliated Uchiha.
"I hope my bum smelt nice enough," Choji said sweetly. "Remember, I'll do that again if you hurt my friend."
Sasuke watched Choji retreat and laid his head back on the ground, closing his eyes to stem the embarrassment of being sat on by Choji.
o.O.o
4. Neji
There he was. Neji walked casually into the outdoor training area, nodding at Choji as the whistling boy bounced past happily. The Hyuga approached a flushed Sasuke and kicked his still body. Sasuke opened his eyes and crawled away from Neji pathetically.
"What happened?" Neji asked.
Sasuke just shook his head, too embarrassed to speak.
"Did Choji sit on you?"
Sasuke didn't move, merely stared up at the Hyuga.
Something dangerous stirred in Neji's eyes and he stepped closer to the weakened Uchiha, looming forward intimidatingly. Sasuke's eyes widened and he wondered what Neji was going to do to him. He swallowed and clenched his fists.
Neji's face changed. His usual deadpan disappeared, slowly being replaced by a smirk. This face had never known emotion, yet there was a smirk. Sasuke stared at the frightening smirk and felt his entire body seize up in terror.
"Don't hurt Naruto," Neji threatened. That, plus the smirk, was too much for Sasuke to take.
His eyes rolled into his head and he fainted.
o.O.o
5. Lee
Sasuke was stirring feebly on the grass in the training ground. Lee stood from his cross-legged position and waited for the Uchiha to fully-wake, excitement pounding in his chest. The Uchiha sat up slowly, rubbing his head. He glanced around nervously, relaxing as he saw harmless Lee watching him.
"Where did Neji go?" Sasuke demanded, standing shakily. "I'm going to kill him and Choji and Kiba and Shino."
"I do not know," Lee replied. "I came to train and you were unconscious." He fought back a giggle at the obvious lie. Sasuke didn't pick up on it.
"Whatever, I'm giving them a piece of my mind."
"Did they do something to you?"
"They're threatening me and they can't do that. I'll make them pay." Stony-faced, Sasuke turned to storm from the training ground.
"Sasuke, wait! Please, do not hurt your friends. They mean well for Naruto." His sides hurt from holding in laughter.
"Maybe, but they can't chase me or threaten me or sit on me and expect to get away with it!"
"I know. That is why I wish to offer my assistance."
Sasuke stared. "You do?"
"Yes. I wish to assist my friends in giving their message."
Before Sasuke could react, Lee had attacked. Lee kicked his middle, forcing him back, and pounded punch after punch wherever he could reach. Sasuke was forced back against a training post, unable to move because of the pain. Lee's punches hurt.
The beating seemed to go on forever because Lee had endless stamina. When he finally finished, Sasuke collapsed feebly onto the ground again, wishing that he'd never defected.
"You will treat Naruto with respect and you will never abandon him again!" Lee shouted. "If you do, I will not be so lenient! Naruto loves you and you will love him back forever!"
Smiling, Lee turned on his heel and walked away from the groaning Uchiha, unaffected by the screams Sasuke sent after him.
o.O.o
6. Shikamaru
"So, how did it go?"
Lee nodded. "He was thoroughly beaten. I made sure to only bruise him and he is sure to go straight to Naruto's apartment now!"
Shikamaru nodded happily. "Our plan is almost complete. He won't suspect another attack, given that the first bout was Kiba and Shino, then the second was Choji, Neji and Lee. He won't think of me at all."
"He'll be in too much pain," Kiba declared happily.
Neji called them over to the door. "I can see him. He's limping along."
Shikamaru smirked. "I sure am glad he's decided to walk the crowded way to Naruto's place. It'll make this so much more enjoyable!"
"Let's do this!" Kiba grinned, turning to watch the Uchiha pass by the building.
The building was dark and had a perfect view to the street outside, but no one could see inside. It was the perfect place for Shikamaru to enact the last part of his revenge plan. He pressed his hands together. "Shadow Possession Jutsu!"
His jutsu stretched across the crowded street, weaving in between the people until it reached the body of Sasuke Uchiha. He watched as the Uchiha stiffened and mimicked his relaxed pose, grinning at Sasuke's shocked expression.
"Make him do a really girly dance," Choji grinned.
"Do something erotic," Kiba giggled.
"Lots of hip-shaking and bum-smacking," Shino requested.
"Something embarrassing," Neji stated.
"Make him look like a fool!" Lee whispered.
Shikamaru placed his hands on his hips. "I will make Uchiha so embarrassed that he won't show his face for weeks."
o.O.o
A strange feeling spread through Sasuke's veins and he froze, holding his hands on his hips. This felt eerily familiar.
His hips began moving against his will, shaking from side-to-side with smooth precision. People turned to stare at him and he flushed, his aching body groaning at the movement. His arms curled into fists and he began to thrust his hips forward, swinging his head around.
"This is a Shadow Possession Jutsu!" he shouted indignantly. Several spectators began to laugh and clap, which resulted in Sasuke dropping to his knees and running his hands over his chest. He hated this. It was humiliating, and only one person would dare do something like this.
Shikamaru Nara.
"Shikamaru I am going to kill you!" he screamed, standing and smacking his bum while pressing a finger naughtily to his lips. "I won't hurt him, okay! I swear! Just stop this madness!"
It didn't stop. He continued to dance erotically for another minute before doing clumsy ballet on the spot, twirling and jumping awkwardly. Then he was made to do the Macarena amidst whoops and cheers. He could sense all the girls in the crowd going wild and wanted so badly for Shikamaru's chakra to run out so he could hunt down the shadow-nin and beat him up.
"Sasuke?"
His eyes widened as his boyfriend pushed his way through the crowd. If anything, his dancing became even more erotic. He sent Naruto a pleading look.
"It's Shikamaru! He's hiding somewhere and making me dance!"
Naruto chuckled. "You kinda deserve it Sasuke."
The Uchiha grumpily began to shake his hips and run his hands through his hair seductively. "I hate you."
"Doesn't look like that," Naruto giggled.
Sasuke had been chased. He had been caged by bugs. He had been sat on. He had been smirked at. He had been turned into a punching bag. He had been forced to dance in front of everyone. He would be damned if he didn't keep his promise.
"Naruto, I promise that I will never hurt you or leave you again!" Sasuke cried. "I will care for you and I will never ever do anything to upset you. On this I swear by my right as an Uchiha."
He stopped dancing. The shadow retreated and he collapsed, exhausted from all that dancing. Naruto rushed over to him and picked him up gently, smiling at Sasuke's annoyed face. "I know you won't."
Needless to say, after that incident Sasuke was much nicer to Naruto's friends, even after he got his chakra back. He knew they would make good on their threats.
o.O.o
Owari