A/N: This fic is inspired by Intensify's "Unwanted Memories". Her chapter "Let It All Out" really impressed me deeply that I asked for her permission to write its sequel, so it's better for you to read or re-read her chapter once again. It's so amazing and very touching. Thank you very much for Intensify for permitting me writing the sequel… :)
May contain original characters but don't worry, it's not Mary Sue at all.
Tag song: Be As You Were When We Met, piano and violin instrumental by S.E.N.S
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Disclaimer: I don't own SS characters, the OC, and the prequel of this story. Here in this fic, there are also few revisions from Intensify.
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Scarlet
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It was dark, frosty night.
Camus woke up from his peaceful sleep when hearing some whimpers from the room next to him. The following thing he did was forcing himself to stand up and checking it.
His sleepiness was completely lost once he arrived there, when seeing Milo murmuring something in his sleep, continuously moved with anxiety on his bed.
The Aquarius then approached the bed to wake him up. "Milo…," he said as he sat on his side and shook his shoulders slowly. "You're dreaming, Milo."
"No…," whispered Milo, his eyes were still tightly closed. "No…don't…"
"Milo…"
"I didn't…mean…to kill you…"
Camus a bit widened his eyes, felt startled on Milo's whine…
He tried to set his confusion away and kept calling Milo's name, though. "Milo, wake up."
"Forgive me…please……"
"Wake up, Scorpion, you're dreaming."
"Don't die…don't…"
"Milo…"
"NO!" Milo suddenly woke up and immediately fell on Camus's arms. He panted so hard, his blue eyes traveled wildly on every side of his bedroom.
"Milo," Camus slowly hugged him, reeling him back into reality. "You had a nightmare, relax…"
Milo was still panting with fear that could be seen on every lines of his face. Once he realized he was only dreaming, hot tears fell from his blue eyes and he started to weep on Camus's shoulders.
"You're only dreaming, Milo…," Camus said encouragingly.
Milo was about to tell Camus it wasn't a dream; it was a past-life that traveled back to his mind. Yet nothing came out of his mouth, except weep and sobs…
"Now continue sleeping," said Camus then as he released his embrace.
"Stay here…," whispered Milo. "Please…"
"I'll stay here, don't worry."
Milo re-rested his head on the pillow and started to close his eyes, though his tears still repeatedly fell. Camus then stood up and pulled a chair to sit near the bed with the intentions of watching his best friend throughout the night.
He really didn't know what on earth has happened to the Scorpion… Camus has stayed in Siberia for a week, spending holiday there and at the same time checking the condition of his hometown. Suddenly yesterday Milo appeared at his door, smiling as usual, but strangely it looked rather fake and dim.
"Hey, Fridge. Sorry for disturbing you but…umm…may I stay here?" asked Milo at that time.
"What's wrong?" asked Camus, a usual question he asked when sensing something not right happened to Milo.
"Nothing…I…only miss this hut. I miss you too," smiled Milo.
Camus permitted him staying there.
From the time Milo entered the hut until it had been late at night, he never absented glancing at him. Milo looked much more quiet than usual; seemed like a part of him has gone. His blue eyes sometimes looked so empty, not focusing on everything he did. And this night he had a nightmare, and crying. Camus planned to ask him some questions tomorrow; it just felt not right to ask him today.
He slowly closed his eyes to sleep, hoping everything would stay alright.
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Morning came. Camus automatically woke up when it has been seven o'clock. He rubbed his eyes for a while, and then looked at the bed next to him.
Milo was not there.
"Milo?" Camus called as he stood up. He wandered throughout his hut to look for his friend, even searched outside in the middle of cruel frosting wind. But Milo was nowhere to be found.
Camus did all the housework as he waited for him, including repainting the fire mantel and cooking for lunch and dinner. Sometimes he glanced outside the window, hoping Milo would appear. There was still no sign on that handsome blue-haired young man even until twilight has come.
Camus sat on the couch, gazing at the television with his mind traveling at somewhere else.
Where are you, Milo…? he thought with dim eyes.
About five minutes later he almost yelled in happiness as he heard knocks on the door. The Aquarius immediately stood up, and opened it quickly.
"Camus…," Milo smiled at him.
A second later he suddenly fell into Camus's arms.
"You're drunk…," Camus sighed as he soon brought his Scorpio friend to his room. He put Milo on the bed, covered him with blanket, and then quickly warmed him up by putting a towel moistened by hot water on his forehead. Milo's handsome face was pale as paper…the aroma of beers could easily be smelled from his breath. His eyes were a bit closed, and he continuously murmured the word "Scarlet…Scarlet…"
Camus looked at him with huge lament in his heart… Never ever in his life he saw Milo this painful…
He kept nurturing his best friend, at the same time listening Milo's murmur with big question that was ready to bloat anytime.
'Scarlet'…what did he mean by 'Scarlet'…? Did it have any relation with Scarlet Needle…? Or was it about something else Milo had never told…?
Camus could never answer it all by himself. He finally closed his eyes to sleep, his hands was still in Milo's shoulders. He hoped he could find some making-sense answer in his slumber and dreams…
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When morning came, Camus was ready to find Milo wasn't on his bed again. The Aquarius shook his head in irritation as he watched the empty bed. After rubbing his sleepy eyes, he stood up and exited Milo's room.
He couldn't help to take a relief breath as he looked at his tiny dining room. Milo was there, preparing breakfast. He looked fresh and, as usual, handsome. Seemed he has been free from alcohol influence and has cleaned himself as well.
"Hey," Milo greeted, smile was on his handsome face. "I cook some meals. It won't be very good, I know, but at least I've tried."
Camus smiled slightly. He was glad Milo has been somewhat alright; he didn't dare to create a topic which could make him down. After washing his face and brushing his teeth, the Aquarius sat in the dining room with his best friend.
"Thank you," he murmured seeing that his plate has been poured with food.
Both were eating in silence. Camus took some glances at Milo while he was eating. His mind was still heavy with a lot of questions but he kept trying hindering them.
"Camus…," Milo said suddenly. He has finished eating and was gazing pointlessly at the table.
"Yes?" Camus replied without looking away from his meals.
"What is life…according to you…?" asked Milo with soft voice.
Camus stopped eating, looked at Milo with blank expression. "What?"
"Is it…worthy to be fought…?" Milo asked again, still gazing at the table. "Or do you think it's nothing…?"
"What are you trying to say, Milo…?"
Milo didn't answer. He finally looked at Camus, and then pulled his hand slowly, gazing at it for awhile.
"Milo…," said Camus then. He completely stopped eating, began to wholly focus at his suddenly-odd-behaved best friend. "What happened? Tell me, maybe I can help…"
Milo, once again, didn't answer. He put Camus's hand on the table, and then rested the right side of his head on Camus's hand. Camus couldn't see Milo's face now, for his position was opposed from him.
"Milo, what happened…?" Camus asked again, now with the hint of hopelessness…
Milo closed his eyes… He really wanted to tell Camus everything…he never wanted to keep any secrets anyway… But this memory was really dark, really proved how dirty his hand was… He didn't want Camus to look at him differently once he told him all truths…
"Please tell me. I swear I'll give all I can to help you fix all the problems…"
Camus, very slowly, pulled Milo's head and put it on his shoulders.
That was when Milo couldn't block it anymore…
He began to sob with his tears dropped heavily on Camus's shoulders…
"It's alright, let it all out then tell me what troubles you…," said Camus again as he clapped Milo's back slowly.
They stayed in that position for about 30 minutes. Once Milo's sob has ended, he started to talk with his extremely broken voice.
"It was couple years ago…," whispered Milo, staring at the floor. He chose not to face Camus directly, he was too afraid to see his expression once he revealed everything.
"She was only a little girl…," Milo continued, his eyes were tightly closed. "She came to me…saying that her mother was really fond of me… She wanted me to give her mother a kiss…"
"I see…," replied Camus. "And then…?"
"Then Hades's army suddenly appeared… I tried to protect her…I launched my Scarlet Needle to fight against the specters…but…," he started to sob again. Camus soon hugged him. "Go on, Milo…"
"When I yelled my attack…Scarlet Needle……she was suddenly running at my front-side…and…"
"Go on…"
"…she suffered my damn attack…and died……. Her mother then came…and I could…never forget her expression when she…looked at me... She kept calling her daughter's name…Scarlet…the little girl's name…was Scarlet… That was why…she immediately ran to me when I…yelled my attack…She thought…I was calling out her name…"
"I see…"
"I couldn't…do anything…her mother kept crying…and hugging her tight…but I couldn't…comfort her at all…I could only…run away…"
"I understand…"
Camus tightened his embrace while hot tears blurred his sight…
He never knew… He never knew his best friend was hiding such an agonizing memory… Now he understood all his grief, and why he never stopped shedding tears all the time…
"I tried…to forget it all…," Milo whispered. "But couple days ago…it haunted my sleep again… That's why I…decided to visit you… I needed someone to help me…carry on…"
"How come you never told me about this…?"
"I have no courage to recall it again… And I'm afraid you'll look me differently…because of this…"
There was no words again came out of his mouth… He could only cry, let out all his pain and remorse… But at least his burden left him a bit after he told Camus the whole thing…at least he was no longer facing this alone…
"You're so silly, you hear me?" said Camus quietly. "We're best friend, aren't we…? I will never hate you for something you accidentally did… I will never hate you for everything…"
Milo closed his eyes and whispered in the middle of his sob. "Thank you…"
When his weep was about to end, he released himself and gazed at Camus with his extremely swollen eyes.
"I want to see her mother…," he said softly. "I want to do the little girl's last word…and tell her mother how remorseful I am…"
Camus nodded encouragingly.
"They live near Sanctuary…," Milo continued.
"I'll accompany you," replied Camus.
"Thank you…," whispered Milo again before his tears fell and he slowly encircled his hand around Camus to hold him.
Camus clapped his back slowly, stared at nowhere with mourn in his eyes…
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The next day the best friends made their way to the victim's house. They rode a plane first, and then continued on foot. Their steps were slow, as if they measured every inch of the street that would lead them to Scarlet's mother's house.
Camus glanced at Milo sometimes, checking whether he was alright. But Milo always gazed on the ground.
"Hey…," called Camus.
Milo turned his head, smiled a bit at him. "Yeah?"
"You're alright?"
Milo smiled and nodded.
Several minutes later they arrived in front of a small wooden house. It was very beautiful, the windows covered with thin white curtains, and there hung holly-made decoration on the door.
Milo took a deep breath, glanced at his best friend, who gave him encouraging nod.
The handsome blue-haired man started to knock the door, prepared himself to face anything that would come to him.
The door was opened after seconds.
A nice looking young woman with brown eyes and wavy brown hair appeared.
The woman who always haunted Milo's dreams…
"You…," she stammered, her eyes covered with shock as she looked at the one who has killed her beloved daughter.
"Good morning…," whispered Milo.
She stared at him for some seconds…
…thus immediately pushed the door forward to make it closed.
"Wait—" Milo quickly blocked her attempt by holding the door tight. "Please, I need to talk to you—"
"Leave me alone!" the woman snapped, still trying to close the door. "Don't you dare try to dirt my house with your steps, you wicked assassin!"
Milo couldn't help to drop his knees on the floor hearing that word…
Assassin…
"Please…," he whispered, his hand still held the door. His throat began to get hurt as hot tears filled his eyes… "I remorse all things I have done… I'm really…really regret it all…I…," his tears dropped. He started to sob…the agony and guilt he felt has broken all his strength now…
"I regret it all…," whispered Milo.
Silence swept the air for very long time…
Camus gazed on his best friend, didn't realized his tears has trickled down his cheeks… Sometimes he looked away, as he couldn't help seeing Milo's mourn…
Time after time, the young woman herself seemed fluttered by his agony… She cried as she saw Milo's shaking back.
She had used to idolize him…and her daughter had known it. She had always hoped to see the Scorpio saint, only to capture the marvel of his blue hair, his wonderful blue eyes…
Her admiration has long turned into hatred though…a very thick loath which has intoxicated her heart.
And now…seeing the young man who has killed her daughter crying made some difference to her… She still hated him, yes…but she also pitied him… She didn't know what kind of emotion she dealt with now…
"Please…," Milo begged again, still kneeling on the floor. "Please…"
Finally she was willing to let him in…
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Both of them sat on a small dining room. Milo never ceased turning the pages of the photo album the woman lent him. It was full of pictures of a little girl, a happy innocent little girl who was totally blind about her dark future.
"She was…," said the woman, eyes staring at nowhere. "Obedient…cheerful… bright…"
Milo smiled slightly. "I can see it…"
"What do you know about her?" her voice suddenly turned stern.
He gazed at her.
"You didn't know anything about her. Had you really known her, you would have never dared to kill her."
"I'm unforgivable…," Milo whispered. "I'm not excusing myself… But it was all an accident… I never meant to kill anybody—"
"What about Andromeda Island?"
Milo closed his eyes and put his hand on his forehead.
She gazed at the floor as tears started to moist her eyes.
"I was so blind…," she said softly. "I knew all of your records… I'd heard everything about the demolition of Andromeda Island… I knew you were on the charge… But I chose not to mind it… I still kept my crush on you. I felt blissful to see your feature though it was only in a distance… Your blue eyes…your blue hair…your perfect face…"
Her tears fell.
"But after you killed her… I've just realized it was all only a delusion… I've realized I devoted to someone who was so like you…but it wasn't the real you…"
"I'll do anything to redeem all I've done… Anything…," he whispered with broken voice.
"Thank you for all your concern…," she said calmly. "But the only thing I want is my daughter alive. And I'm sure it won't ever come true… Even Athena won't be able to revive her… My daughter isn't a saint; she doesn't have any privilege…"
Milo closed his eyes again.
She looked at his handsome face with deep sorrow and grief.
"I'm so sorry…," said Milo then, for about three hundred times.
"I know…," she nodded. "You have my forgiveness… But you should know…I forgive you because I need to rescue my own heart…," her tears fell again. "I need to heal the rotten part of my heart…"
"I understand…," whispered Milo. He got closer to her and started to stroke her cheek very softly. She closed her eyes…her tears never stopped falling…
"She asked me to do something to you before the mishap…," he said softly.
"What is it…?"
He answered it right away. Very softly, he touched her forehead with the gentleness of his lips.
She sobbed accepting the kiss. Her eyes were tightly closed, and couple seconds later, she felt two kisses on her closed eyes.
When she opened her eyes again, she saw his cheeks have been covered with tears.
"That's what she asked me to do…," he said softly.
"You've done her wish," said the young woman tenderly. "Now go away…"
"You said you forgive me…"
"I want both of us to keep being strangers…," she whispered. "You don't have to worry about me… I don't want anything from you… You're the most chivalrous man I've ever known, you don't hesitate to come to my house and express your guilt… That's more than enough…"
She slowly encircled her hands around his neck and hugged him tight. He replied her embrace with closed eyes.
"Now go away…," she said as she released him slowly.
He didn't answer…only hugged her once more and kept saying "I'm sorry…" and "forgive me" with his tears and broken voice…
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It was about 45 minutes later Milo was ready to leave the house. The young woman gave him a heartwarming smile before closing the door tight.
He gazed at the door, a silent sign which told him he wasn't allowed to visit the house again…
He took a deep breath, and then turned around, stepping at his best friend who has faithfully waited for him outside.
"How is it?" asked Camus inaudibly.
Milo smiled slightly. "Done…," he whispered.
Camus nodded in understanding.
They rode a taxi to Sanctuary. Milo wore his jacket, felt a cold that didn't have anything to do with weather. His blue eyes continuously gazed outside, capturing every color which left him so fast. His burden has lifted up from his shoulders indeed, but he never free from grief when the image of the little girl and her mother visiting his mind… He couldn't erase them… He couldn't sweep them away… He couldn't let them go… They were an agonizing memory…but strangely they were also the wonderful one… Their yellow gowns, their innocent features… And he had destroyed their future…
"Hey…," a voice came as he felt the grasp on his shoulder. He turned his head, and seeing Camus was smiling at him.
He replied his smile.
"Life must go on," said Camus quietly.
Milo nodded, still smiling.
He got closer to his best friend and slowly gave him an embrace, as hot tears started to trickle down his cheeks…
Camus, as usual, clapped his back slowly…with his solemn eyes gazed outside absentmindedly…
Life must go on…Milo thought in the middle of his sobs.
He would never forget all Camus told him later on…
Never forget all mistakes you have done… yet at the same time try not to get lost in your guilt… Do the best for your future…by never starting the same mistake anymore… It's pointless when you regret something but you do nothing to make yourself better… It's pointless when you ask for apologies if you do nothing to fix it…
Life must go on, Milo…
And don't you ever feel lonely…
For I'll always be here when you need me…
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--End--