Oh So Close…
You do realize that Leah is bugging me about you.
I ignored his thoughts, pounding the forest floor harder. I wanted so badly to reach my sole reason of life, of sanity, of my heart: Emily.
Ugh. That is so mushy.
Even though he was off at First Beach and was miles away, I growled with annoyance. He felt the thunder in my throat and cringed a bit.
Sorry, I did it again, I thought, this time mad at myself for going alpha on him.
No, its fine. After all, you've been alone out here months before I or Paul came around. Must have been nice to hear no one every time you phased.
Alone is what it felt like, I admitted. He was right about having my own thoughts. It was easier without another dude's brain tapping yours. And I was cruel, thinking it was better I wasn't alone. How could I want this for them? At least I was older. They were still in high school.
Oh stop! Shouted Jared. Again, the reading each other's thoughts was irritating.
Near Emily's. Stay on look out until Paul comes on, I ordered him. It was a joke of ours, acting as if each other were radio stations being broadcast.
But it was pointless being Big Alpha to Jared; he would have done it anyway without my demanding tone.
Since when did you become-? Started Jared, but I already was shaking while concentrating that I tuned him out. Two seconds later I shrunk, lost my thick fur, and returned to standing on two feet. For a minute I remained where I stood, about half a mile from Emily's home. I liked the empty conversation that surrounded my thoughts and I closed my eyes to listen to only the sounds of the woods.
Not to far off, I heard a door slam shut. My eyes shot open, even though the closest house was out of sight in the trees. But I knew that someone from Emily's had walked outside because the thud of feet followed on the grass. Swiftly, I unwrapped my denim shorts and green t-shirt from my leg. I should have brought shoes incase it was Em's parents, but I didn't really care. At least I brought a shirt.
I started through the trees while I shrugged my shirt on. No rocks of roots broke my pace as I continued. One good factor of being a wolf of the tribe was the graceful movements I now had. It felt easier and quicker then worrying about tripping or stumbling in these trees.
About ten yards from Emily two of my senses amplified. The first was the feeling of a metal cable slowly forcing me forward, the feeling I felt when I was close to her. Sometimes it was worse, because I lived so far away from her and it was a feeling that was difficult to control. Then the second thing was her scent. It was a wonderful smell, a mix of vegetables and cotton. Veggies because she loved to garden for her food and cotton because that was the type of shirts she wore the majority of the time, including her night top. I wasn't supposed to know that, but I did spot it on the laundry line next to her house. I knew it was hers even when she washed it, the faint smell of her still inside it.
I rounded a bunch of trees until only some branches hung between the opening and me to Emily's backyard. I peered quietly through the openings of the pine needles and caught sight of her nestled on her chair swing that was under a large tree that shadowed half the yard. She wore a flannel thick blue shirt, light colored jeans, and her hair was restless on her shoulders. Her one arm was wrapped around herself, like the air was suddenly chilly. I felt the urge to hurry to her and get her warm with my high temperature body.
At first, with her head down and eyes focused, I believed she was reading a book. It must have been intense since her face was so concentrated on the invisible pages that were hidden behind her propped my knee. But then her knee turned outward and her other hand went up to her lips, biting the knuckle of her pointer finger. I now saw no book, magazine, or pages or any sort. Now I knew she was actually in deep thought.
Feeling the need to be closer, I stepped out from behind the branches, calling lightly to her.
"Hello, Emily."
Her head snapped in my direction and her expression was not was happy as I thought it would have been. Her eyes, now head on with my vision, were wet at the corners. She was close to tears.
"Emily?" I questioned in worry and quickened my steps until I was nearly under the shade of the giant tree. She rose from her seat and met me in four steps of her own.
"Sam, don't do that," she hissed angry. I stopped and felt a squeeze in my heart. Of course I would have stopped, if only I knew what it was I was doing.
But she already read my face. "Stop caring about me so much."
"Emily, what's wrong?" I wanted to obey her, but I needed a reason of her being upset with me. "You were so happy and laughing yesterday. Did something happen?"
"Yes. You. You and your sudden obsession to be with me. Why?"
"I told you. You are my—my…I don't know really how to explain it."
"That could be the problem." She muttered under her breath. I could see it behind her enraged face: she did understand why I cared for her this way. I explained everything I could think of once I knew I had imprinted on her. She understood and said she didn't feel that way at me at all. But yesterday…her eyes lit when they saw me. And I knew that something had sparked for her. Until now.
"So you want me to stop visiting you?" I asked.
"Of course!" she yelled and threw her arms up, "Do you know what my family thinks of this? How Leah sees us hanging out sees us being happy? Her cousin and the man she loves?"
"I told her—" I started to explain, but she lashed back again.
"She does not care! Three years, you dated her and then suddenly you drop her like a boring toy? She loves you so much," she whispered desperately. Tears now flowed down her cheeks.
"But I don't," I defended quickly. "Not as much as I love you. Emily, you are the one I need. Leah still lives within section of my heart, but my own my heart. It is you I want."
She stared at me, not moving or speaking. She whispered with clenched teeth, "a week ago you said you would do anything I want. Is it still true?" I nodded without a second thought and watched her sigh with her eyes shut. Her hands curled into fists to control her fury on me, and if it were possible, she looked like a werewolf trying to keep from phasing. Only she wasn't shaking uncontrollably.
"Sam," she spoke without unlocking her eyelids, " I want you to stay away from me."
"I'll do it if you want," I whispered to please her. But I knew the metal cable that pulled me here would never stop for the rest of my life. I'll do as she wishes, because she wants it. My option had no say in her decisions.
"And go back to Leah." Her eyes opened when I didn't answer. Once again, this topic was a whirlwind for me. Because I could not be the man Leah once knew. And I could not pretend with her any more.
"I can't, Leah. We talked plenty of times about that. If I went back she'd know I don't feel that way about her. It will only make her feel worse."
"NO, Sam!" she snapped. Apparently I said something to upset her. And I didn't know what to do. "You CAN love her! You still do! Take control of your emotions and not let this tribe supernatural thing control you!"
"But it is my emotions," I growled back before thinking. How could she still think I was under a tribal spell?
"SCREW THAT, SAM! YOU JUST WON'T ADMIT YOU CAN'T CHALLENGE IT! JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER!"
Heat rose inside me. My arms shook and I tightened my jaw. "Emily, please don't—"
"WHAT? MENTION HIM? WHY NOT? AFTER ALL YOU ARE BOTH EXACTLY ALIKE!"
She stepped towards me and I struggled to back away. But moving made it harder to focus.
I wasn't like him. I did what he was afraid to do all these years. The only thing we are related by is blood. I had no part of his soul in me.
"YOU ARE NO DOUBT THE SAME MAN AS JOSHUA ULEY!"
I lost it. A split second before I wanted to scream for her to run. My throat made a mix of a thick cough and growl. I instead raised my arm to warn her to back off. But I phased faster then I ever had. Usually it took eight seconds for me to change when under pressure. But the name of that man, and the fact that we were the same broke the long months of control I held. Half a second and my pelt erupted from my skin. My fingernails claws that stretched jaggedly.
In that small proportion of a second, I watched in horror as Emily's face slipped suddenly under my raised arm. I went to lower it halfway through the quick transformation, but it sliced into her face before I could control the motion. She eyes closed, her lips curled inhumanly. When I was able to pull the claw away it had already reached down her right side to her wrist. In terror and pure pain, I watched as she slumped to the grass, motionless.