The life I had chosen was not the one layed in front of me, the journey with my Sammy had only started in a hunt for our father many years ago and the secrets hidden that had exploded in front of me and out of my grasp.
I thought maybe one day this would actually be over, well that's what Sammy believed, but no it was only hope as the pain got worse as loved ones past and leaving us with only ourselves to hold onto, though the worst part was with it being our fault, well my fault.
As I sit here thinking about the pain and suffering my family have gone through a tear came to my eye but then my heart stopped.
I didn't die but I just stopped breathing as Sammy came running round the corner in fright of loosening me but my fear had turned from living then suddenly into fear of Sam watching me die. Then my thoughts changed,
'What will Sammy..Sam do without me?,
who's gonna watch out for him?
I need to take care of him' A few tears came to my eyes and traveled down face as Sam tried to lift me up but stumbled a few times before falling gently.
"Sam I'm proud of us"
The memories came flooding in from years back
("So, fake Marshall, fake credit card, you got anything thats real" "my boobs")
("Well let me look at you... oh you boys grew up handsome… and you were one goffy-looking kid too")
("Dude, when have I ever forgotten your pie" … "Dude" "Yeah" "Where's the pie")
("Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole")
("Dude, you fugly")
("I'm batman"
"Yeah your batman")
("Hey, you leave my baby alone, she's got nothing to do with this")
("I lost my shoe") don't touch the Rabbit foot
("Bitch", "Jerk")
("Balls" "look after your brother you idgit") never forget Bobby
("Pudding")
("Cas without your power, your just a baby in a trench coat"
"You hurt fish feelings")
("Piece out bitches") poor Charley the baby sister
("You're bossy… and short") Sam was so drunk
("Here ghosty ghosty, come out come out wherever you are")
("Oh I'm not carrying that…it could go off... I'll man the flashlight")
("If you fudging touch me again I'll fudging kill you") too happy, creepy old married couple
("Saving people, hunting things, the family business")
Then my thoughts turned sad
("There ain't no me if there ain't no you")
("Family don't end with blood, boy") Bobby held us all together, he was our father
("I'm dealing with dads death, are you") I'm sorry Sam... Sorry for all the arguments
("How could you make that deal Dean"
"Because I couldn't live with you dead… I couldn't") can Sam live with me dead?
("I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing")
("You and me against the world. Right")
("We're the Winchesters, always have been and always will be")
I can't stay and be like I was, be the mark... that's just impossible, this is the easiest way out for Sam and I.
I can't do this no more… I'm not strong enough.