[Kogayne created Hamilton the Musical]
[Kogayne added Shirogone, Lancelot, Hunker, Allurk, Pidgeon, AShaymed, Corn, NayMan, and Rolos]
Kogayne: You know why I'm so similar to Hamilton?
Shirogone: No.
Kogayne: I'm a bastard, orphan, son of a whore.
Lancelot: And an asshole.
Hunker: A friend of the group, but not so much the individual.
Allurk: An immigrant.
Pidgeon: Someday you're going to die because you pissed off your friend and he shot you?
AShaymed: You are in charge of the care of a large sum of money.
Lancelot: Surprise, surprise. Keith actually has money in his bank account. You couldn't tell by his shitty apartment.
Kogayne: I came here to have a good time and I am honestly feeling so attacked right now.
Kogayne: This is homophobia.
Lancelot: 3 u!
Kogayne: Sure.
[Lancelot changed Kogayne's name to Hamilton]
[Pidgeon changed Lancelot's name to Aaron Burr Sir]
Aaron Burr Sir: This is biphobia.
Aaron Burr Sir: I would never shoot Keith.
Pidgeon: Your track history says otherwise.
Aaron Burr Sir: Okay, that was high school. We are mature adults now.
Pidgeon: Keith stole your jacket.
Aaron Burr Sir: [Shoots Keith]
Aaron Burr Sir: Jk, jk.
Hamilton: I didn't steal it.
Hamilton: I've just been borrowing it for 3 months.
Aaron Burr Sir: ...
Hamilton: Okay, maybe I stole it.
Hamilton: But it smells nice and it reminds me of you.
Aaron Burr Sir: You are aware of the fact that I've been freezing my ass off for the past few months because I couldn't find that jacket, right?
Hamilton: I could buy you a new one?
Pidgeon: You'd just steal that one too, Keith.
Hamilton: I am offended.
Hamilton: Why would I do such a thing?
Aaron Burr Sir: Him, an angel.
Hamilton: Exactly.
NayMan: I remember in high school when you made out with Rolo in Victoria's Secret. They kicked Keith out and he stole a bunch of bras as 'revenge.'
Aaron Burr Sir: You have a point.
Pidgeon: And remember how he used to smoke pot outside the gym and he got caught by the principal.
Rolos: And the next week we were having sex in the principal's office while she went out for lunch.
Hamilton: That was high school.
Pidgeon: And remember how he stole Lance's jacket?
Hamilton: That's different!
Allurk: And how he stole Lotor's car and crashed it into a Target last week?
Corn: And how he stole a horse and rode it through Walmart last Thursday?
NayMan: I seem to remember seeing him popping tires outside my apartment last night.
NayMan: And let's not forget the time he came to Lance's dorm covered in blood.
Hamilton: It wasn't blood. It was red slushie.
NayMan: With a knife.
NayMan: I'm pretty sure he killed someone.
Hamilton: I was trying to fix the machine!
NayMan: With a knife?
Hamilton: I couldn't find a screwdriver.
Aaron Burr Sir: Keith's life is either a crazy adventure or a series of unfortunate circumstances.
Pidgeon: A Series of Unfortunate Events.
Hamilton: I didn't steal the horse. Rolo just let me borrow Rover for the weekend.
Rolos: I can confirm.
Hamilton: I did not steal Lotor's car. He was giving me a ride, but he was high and couldn't drive. Which is how we crashed into Target.
Hamilton: And I was popping tires of a bunch of stolen cars. Hunk and I had called the police about it, but they said they couldn't do anything about it until morning, so we decided to stall the thieves.
Hunker: I can confirm this. I was also helping him pop tires and the police came in the morning and arrested the perps.
Hamilton: See?
NayMan: ...
NayMan: Friday, the thirteenth.
Hamilton: Okay, that was an accident.
Aaron Burr Sir: What happened?
NayMan: He beat up a guy so badly that he went into a coma.
Hamilton: It was an accident. Self defence. He attacked me.
NayMan: You beat him so badly that he went into a coma.
Aaron Burr Sir: I heard about this in the news.
Aaron Burr Sir: 'Crazed Man Almost Kills Rapist.'
Aaron Burr Sir: Great title for a news report.
Hamilton: Okay, so maybe I went a little far.
Hamilton: But that guy deserved every single hit I gave him.
Hunker: I didn't know that Keith went at it with a rapist.
Rolos: Yeah, the guy was drunk and apparently tried to rape Pidge and called her a 'stupid lesbian hoe.'
Pidgeon: First of all, I'm a bitch, not a hoe. And second, the guy didn't even get very far before Keith showed up and beat the crap out of him.
Pidgeon: Don't give him crap about protecting me because if I could have, I would have done much worse to that asshole tbh.
NayMan: I still stand by my theory that Keith could and would actually kill someone given the chance.
NayMan: He knows way too much about how to kill people.
Hamilton: Okay, that there is true.
Hamilton: If anybody were to mess with any one of you I would definitely kill them.
Pidgeon: His way of being a great friend is hiding the body.
Shirogone: Or killing the problem.
Hamilton: I have my ways and you have yours. Don't judge me.
Aaron Burr Sir: 3 u!
Hamilton: u2
Aaron Burr Sir: !
Pidgeon: Stop it with your gross platonic/not-so-platonic flirting.
Hunker: I'm still confused about the Klance thing though. Are they or are they not dating?
NayMan: They used to date in middle school when Keith and I were still bffs.
Hamilton: Still are!
NayMan: I used to call him Katie in middle school though so everyone thought he was a girl.
Aaron Burr Sir: Exposed.
NayMan: Everyone called him Katie until college.
NayMan: And he used to go to the girl's locker room to cuz he was 'too gay for that shit.'
NayMan: And nobody would have noticed anyways cuz of his long-ass hair and his fucking pigtails.
Aaron Burr Sir: And let's not forget the miniskirts.
Hamilton: I lived at a foster care home with a bunch of girls, okay?
NayMan: Anyways, one day the coach coerced him into going into the guy's locker room instead.
Hamilton: If by coerced, you mean dragged me in by my hair.
NayMan: All the guys were freaked out cuz they thought some girl was being forced into the locker rooms, but when Keith proceeded to actually get dressed for gym and they figured out he was actually a boy, everyone started talking.
Rolos: But Lance, being the charmer he was started flirting with him.
NayMan: And Keith being as impulsive as he was kissed him then and there.
NayMan: So they became boyfriends, but they broke up in high school.
NayMan: And Lance started dating me (though we obviously broke up since I'm with Rolo now.)
Rolos: And later Keith and I started dating, but now I'm dating Nyma.
NayMan: And sadly Klance has yet to get back together again despite their obvious love for each other.
Rolos: So they act like an old married couple now.
Hamilton: We both agreed that we would once I got over my shit. But that has yet to happen.
Aaron Burr Sir: So we're just that in between.
Aaron Burr Sir: He's just afraid that if we got together again he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off me.
Hamilton: And from past experience, having sex all the time is not the basis of a healthy relationship.
Aaron Burr Sir: Who knew? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Hunker: Okay.
Hunker: Also didn't need to know about your sex life. No offence.
NayMan: Anyways, I need to go.
Rolos: Me too.
Hunker: I should get to studying.
Hamilton: So, about that thing you were talking about at work?
Aaron Burr Sir: This conversation depressed me, so not today.
Hamilton: Shit. I'll come over.
Aaron Burr Sir: I'll be fine.
Hamilton: I know you will because I'm going to come over and love on you, damn it.
Aaron Burr Sir: I'll get a movie on.