CAVE N CAVE: A PINOCON STORY
a CAVE STORY and CAVE JOHNSTON crossover
by SMASH the ECCHIDNA
CAVE 1: CAVE MEETS CAVE
Cave from Cave Story was sitting in the cave from his story one evening. He was about to go to sleep mode when suddenly Cave Johnson from Portal 2 Portal-led into Cave's Cave.
"Cave! You gotta help me, OGRES are attacking my house and I need YOUR help to stop them!" Cave said.
"Righty-o, Cave! I'll help you out!" Cave didn't say, because he was a robot and was thus incapababble of speech. Instead, he put on his signature red cap and green scarf and blue buster and head nodded. They then both leaped into the Portal.
CAVE 2: CAVES MEETS OGRES
When Cave and Cave leaped out of the Portal after they leaped into it, they saw that Caves' house was being attacked by the ogres Cave said it was being attacked by. They were destroying all of Cave's expensive towers and that made him really angry. "Don't make me burn YOUR houses down!" he said.
As soon as he said that, the ogres all turned to look at the Caves and they stared at them for a moment before they shrieked and started charging at them! Cave and Cave had to prepare for battle.
Cave took out his trusty explosive limes and started throwing them at the ogres. Cave ecuiped his machine gun which he got because he was a big scrub and started throwing them at the ogres. They all died.
"Ha, those ogres didn't stand on pants!" Cave said. He goasted over his victory as he walked over all the dead ogres. On the other ham, Cave was looking through the destruction for EXP, but all he found were wallets with pictures in them.
Cave looked through the walletures and saw all sorts of real people happy with their real families and real friends and even real Cave and he felt bad because he was a robot and robots aren't real. He even tried to honk some tears out of his nose but because he wasn't real he didn't have any. Silenty, he began to leave.
CAVE 3: CAVE DOESN'T MEETS EXISTENCE YET BUT WILL WHEN HE DOES
Just as he was about to leave, Cave came up and put his hand on Cave's shoulder. He knew what was wrong. "You reminds me of my wife Gladys. She was a robot who wanted to become a real boy too," he said. "I know how to make that hapen!"
Cave's eyes lit up, and not because of his x-ray vision eyeballs. They lit up because he had a chance of becoming existence. "Righty-o Cave! Let's do this!" he would have said.
"Follow me," Cave said. He opened a Portal and they both span in.
CAVE 4: CAVES MEETS ZEPPETOH NO
When Caves came out of the Portal, they were in a small house. Cave decided looked around and all sorts of dolls of little boys and girls adorking the shelves while Cave walked up to the person of the house. "Hey Zeppeto!" he said.
"What doth thou wanteth, Cave?" Zeppeto replied grumpily. He was busy working on another doll, with tongue out and sweating.
"Make my friend Cave here a real boy!" Cave demanded.
"Thine mind must be on the fritzeth, for mine mind haveth no knowledginity of such an abiliteth." Zepetto barked back.
Cave tooked out one of his explosive limes and crunched on it as he glared passionately into Zepeto's eyes. "You were saying?" Cave said.
"Oh fine I will helBUT JUST AS HE WAS ABOUT TO FINISH HIS SENTENCE A BIG WHALE CAME OUT AND ATE HIM AND IT WAS REALLY SHOCKING.
CHAPTER 5: CAVE MEETS POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER
"Shlocking!" Cave said as both Caves fell back from the whale's slam. It then jammed back into the sea.
Cave started to hyperventilate except since he was a robot it was like steam was coming out of all his socks. He was afraid of water because his wife died that way.
But once again, Cave knew what was on Cave's mindeth. "I know how you feel, my wife died that way too. But don't worry, I have a plan..."
Cave then whispered his plan to Cave so that we couldn't hear him. Cave nodded the whole time. It was a dangerass idea, butt he trusted Cave.
When they were ready fo tight, Cave used his tow rope to attach himself to Cave's back and got out his machine gun. Cave then used his Portal Gun to shoot a Portal into the ground and he shot another Portal into the sky above the whale. "Let's do this," Cave said.
Shooting his Portal gun below them, Cave and Cave rocketed into the sky. Then Cave stopped shooting and they fell Cave-first into the Portal.
As they came out the other Portal, Cave aimed his glutes maxes downward while Cave shotted his gun again undownward. "Take this!" Cave said. They then ground-pounded the whale and it got flattened and Xepetto came out of its hole! The plan was a cuccess.
CAVE 6: CAVE MEATS EXISTENCE
So they all Warphold back to the ground and Zepettoke used his fairy powers to turn Cave into a real boy.
Cave moved his arms and legs. He felt real meaty now. Super meaty. He was real. He was existence.
Cave then decided that the first thing he would do with existence is give his friends a hug so he did. Cave laughed and Geppetto sweated more. They then all sat down at the moutainside to watch the fireworks.
"Happy New Year, Cave," Cave said. "Happy TWO Year, Cave," Cave said.
THE -HAPPY- +NEW YEAR+ END