The Deranged World By: CherishedSweet
Disclaimer: Yup I don't own Cardcaptor Sakura if I did I would be very happy, if I ruled the world I would be even happier, and if someone says they will give me pie and never gives me pie I'm also content with that. Actually I'll be happiest with the yummy pie...
'…………' Thoughts
"………………" When people are talking
Chapter One: All because of a conversation
Normal POV (Point of view) Tomoyo's Place
"Syaoran I hate you, you are the most disturbed and deranged assholic bastard I've ever met! I hope you burn in hell." Yelled Sakura while she smoked a cigarette yelling at the mirror's reflection.
Tomoyo stared at her while thinking 'Sakura is a mindless bitch why the hell was I ever friends with her in the first place?' Sakura broke down on Tomoyo's lap and started crying yelling multiple slurs upon slurs so all you heard was ' snuarm bastent ejdnng ngirjngffjgn' so yes you understood every word. (A/N: I hope you brilliant people understand I'm trying to be sarcastic… no? gasp I'm appalled.)
Sakura stopped murmuring and said "Tomoyo why did Syaoran leave with my brother why did they become gay and elope what the fuck is going through there freaken heads?" Tomoyo kept on thinking 'Sakura is an idiot Syaoran didn't leave with her brother he left with some prostitute on the corner. And Syaoran isn't gay her brother is gay, and Touya didn't elope with Syaoran he eloped with Eriol. Eriol left Mizuki, and she became a prostitute. Hmm I wonder if that prostitute Syaoran is dating is Mizuki...'
Suddenly, Tomoyo stood up, ignoring the thump on the ground of Sakura ramming her face into the metal pole. As this was going on a maid started to go down the stairs away from the pot smoking butlers and maids in the attic.
Tomoyo yelled at Sakura violently, "SAKURA! You know what? Get the hell out of my house and get a boyfriend! I AM NOT YOUR PIECE OF CHOCOLATE I WILL NOT TRY TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!" (A/N: Chocolate makes you feel good it has things in it that is yah... so if you cry because of problems well chocolate is the best way to go. You feel better and you gain weight... so yup eating a ton of chocolate is sooooooooooo good because you can gain weight, block your arteries and blow up your heart... okay getting way off the topic...)
Tomoyo continued, "SAKURA, I MAY BE THE ONLY REASON YOU ARE NOT THE FATTEST BLIMP IN JAPAN! BECAUSE OF ME THE PERSON WHO YOU LET ALL YOUR FREAKEN FEELINGS TO, IS BECOMING SICK OF YOUR FUCKED UP NAGGING! NOW GO TO A DOCTOR OR SOMETHING AND TALK TO HIM. AT LEAST YOU WON'T FALL OFF A CLIFF BECAUSE OF NOT TALKING TO PEOPLE, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I REALLY DON'T CARE IF YOU FALL OFF A CLIFF BECAUSE YOU ANNOY ME SO MUCH! I UNDERSTAND WHY ALL YOUR BOYFRIENDS LEFT YOU! YOU JUST NAG AND NAG LIKE CRAZY" Tomoyo went on but I didn't want you to fall asleep listening so anyways…
Tomoyo kept on yelling but added choking motions and punching and kicking while she did this she did not realize Sakura was unconscious on the floor for she had rammed her face into a pole. After a while Tomoyo fainted, because she held her breath the whole time she was yelling.
As this happened a maid walked in and thought she would be blamed for the "deaths" (The two fingers meaning, yah... ) she quickly ran outside and into the street where an oncoming car was coming and she tripped over her foot so the car accidentally smushed her.
The guy in the car didn't notice the smushed maid and kept on going thinking about purple tele-tubbies and Elmo lap dancing on his package.
He suddenly started to remember last nights Family Guy where a character was being sexy so the man repeated his words thinking it was right for the situation 'o this, it's my package, god delivered it, I signed for it, the world keeps on spinning.'
The topic is now dead as all of you may notice… first of all their was no topic to begin with. Thank you for reading and trying as hard as you can to understand my sexy story The Deranged World. To be continued… Possibly… You know what I'm going to have my readers decide for me if this is left for a one shot so be it, but if people want more chapters then I'll probably write more chapters, all up to you! Oh if anyone has a challenge for me (A story to write) please challenge me I love challenges and I am very competitive.
So people review as if your butt was on fire actually don't review as if your butt was on fire cause if you had a fired butt (A/N: Hahaha its sooooooooo funny I said BUTT HeeHee) (Why do I need the authors note? If I'm speaking as I'm speaking now?) You would be too busy trying to dip your butt in water to review sooo review like you've never reviewed before if you never reviewed in your life you have problems. So I shall give directions to reviewers who have never reviewed.
1: Move your eyes slowly down
2: Take the mouse or touch pad thingy slowly to a box that says, actually that doesn't say, chapter one for the elderly, the other box on the left hand corner…
3: Click the clicking thing.
4: Move mouse the thing that says reviewing for the old and weird
5: Click
6: Write nonsense about my sexy story (For the people who don't know: I am a girl)
If you reached this part I'm sincerely happy you read my story I hope you liked it. If one of your questions is if I'm like this in real life it is a no.
I actually am a diligent hardworking student that gets bored easily and loves to do the odd when bored so if I get enough reviews I shall add another chapter (hee hee hee) which I think will be extremely mental even more mental then this one so please if you have any questions I'll answer them for you. So if you have any recommendations for a story or author please tell me I love fan fiction stories and I'll never stop reading them.
P.S If you hate my story then hate it, but don't be so mean, alright? I'm not a big fan of hate mail so if you didn't like my story please stop reading it. If any of you have any suggestions or mistakes that need to be corrected please tell! To those who like my story, I LOVE YOU. (My friend likes my story but she asked me if I was on crack when I wrote this. Even though we were on the phone when I read her the story I'm sure Taylor was giving me a look that said 'What have you been smoking?') No Taylor I have not been smoking anything when I wrote this. Snaps, for Taylor for she made my story a bit weirder then usual she insisted I put in the pot smoking maids in the attic and the lines from Family guy into the story. So I was like okay… so yah… ok bye. Oh wait it you want chapters longer or to stay the same tell me. So goodbye. For now. Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahahahahahaha… TO BE CONTINUED... Oh yah if you are to review then please include your gender because I want to know how many of the readers are male or female…