A.N. This story is all from a point of view of Kai's life, of what he thinks of it, and the struggle that he's gone through to try and make things right. I hope it makes sense to you, it does to me, but I have a very complex…well twisted mind at times…and I can make the simplest thing into something very confusing.
Anyway R&R it would much be appreciated – think I may say that word too much – oh well nothing wrong with punctuality lolz.
The Other Place
Kai pov
The other place! Would it be better than this place, surly it would, it's has all the good things that I know there, all the good memories that I had, although they turned out bad, nothing ever turned out right, and it probably never would. But in that other place, maybe everything would be much better, maybe I would be much happier there. I could only dream probably, about that other place that is, I could never go there if I really wanted to, I wouldn't know how, and it seems that I'm going to be in this hell a lot longer than I would prefer. Nothing seems to go right, why is it that things can't be good and just stay good, they all have to continue then turn out bad, why? Why is it that friends say they will always be there for you then when you need them the most they can't seem to be there for you? I was told once that I'm so depressive all the time that they get fed up of trying to help me out, why is it that they can't just see me for who I am and help me.
I tried once you know, to get to that "other place", it didn't work out as planned, I almost wanted someone to catch me with that blade in my hand, holding it to my wrist, just so I could find out if they really cared, if they would really try and stop me, and if they did would it really mean that they would care. Someone did come and they did stop me, he was my boyfriend at the time, we're not together now, he hurt me but then I wasn't really in love with him. Confusing I know, how could I have dated him for seven months and not really be in love with him, it's simple really, nobody has ever wanted me before, and he wasn't exactly someone I could say no to, he was happy cheerful and helped me out a lot, but once again it went all to pot. So to be honest, why had he stopped me from using that blade on my wrist, why would he of really cared about my physical being, when he was cheating on me and hurting my mental being. It didn't really make it worse however, like I said I wasn't really in love with him, the only thing that it did was make me realise that maybe the reason he was the only person that I've been with, means that I won't be with someone else, unless their doing the same thing, using me for sex.
That other place, it sounds and feels much nicer than the one that we live in now. I don't know from experience, on the contrary I know because…well…it must be by chance…it has to be, but yet I still remain here, and yet so does everyone else. I mean in that other place there can't be bills, jobs, money, there won't be anything like that, if there really is a heaven and all that, and it's supposed to be the best place ever and all that, then why is it that people choose to live here? Why do they insist on this when it's said that it's a much better place there? I don't understand, and I probably never will.
I think about it and I just can't understand why I can't do it, why I can't send myself to this other place, this so called better place, it doesn't make sense.
But as I think about it, I think of all the good things in my life, most of them have turned bad, leaving me senseless in myself, but there are some other good things, they may not be as good as I want them, but their still there. I think hard and wonder what I would do without my closet friends in the bladebreakers, not a thing comes to mind, and I would have probably gone to that other place a long time ago if it wasn't for them. They've helped me a lot and I wish I could thank them, for every single little thing that they have done, I wish I could pay them back seven fold. Yes I do hate being alive for all the bad things happening to me, and for all the good equalling out to be more bad. But they have always been there, even though they've gotten fed up and all that, they still don't leave me in a ditch, to die. They have helped me, and it's because of them that I really love life…whether, again or not, I don't know, I don't remember ever loving life before, I really don't. My best friends, Rei and Tyson have got to be the best of them to be honest they helped me the most. The drinking in the pub with Rei may not of been all that good but it was fun and felt good at the time, but has once again put me in a position where I wanted to live just for the fun of it.
So you know what SCREW the other place, I don't want it and I most certainly don't need it, my life is here where I am now, with Tyson and Rei and the others that I have around me. I want to experience the things that I don't have, the things that have all gone wrong in my life I want to experience the right way. I want to share all of this with my…friends…that is if I do still hold the right into which to call them that. I want to experience a relationship that I can actually classify as a relationship, I want to experience all sorts of rides at the theme parks, as you see I've never actually been on any. I want to experience true happiness, the one that makes you so happy that you'd do anything in the whole world, because you would have such a confidence boost it would be fantastic. I want to meet people, and make new friends, and I want to prove to them all, especially the ones I have now, that I am a fun, lively person, that I do in actual fact love life! I want them all to see, all to know that I'm not the person who they think I am, I want them to except me for someone new, I want them to give me a chance, after all it is hard to join in with them at times, their all pretty crazy.
So where do I begin, to change my life, where do I start. That's difficult, I actually don't know where to start and if I'll ever get to where I want to go, my friends may not help me, they haven't done in the past when I've tried this before. That other place…I still don't want to go there, and I probably won't change my mind either. But what I'm planning, it's going to take a lot more effort than I had first expected, and now I wonder if it is at all possible for me to do such a thing here, of all places, where all the bad things and memories reside.
Tyson wants me to change, he tried so many times to help me, but has now given up, usually when I now ask for help he doesn't really do much. I'm trying to change and in the process it is hard, but it's taking me to depression on the way, I know I can get through it and I know I'm moving forward. Only thing is, they all think I'm going backwards, they being my friends, but they're wrong I will get through this I know I will. I just have to do it step by step and I will be able to get through all this annoying, emotional pain. The time is ni and I will move forward, I will show the world that Kai Hiwatari is one not to mess with, for he will now stand for nothing, he won't let people walk over him, and he most certainly won't let people beat him any longer, he will fight back, and he will show the world what it was it was messing with.
Do you understand now, do you understand that things can't always be the same with people, I used to think this everyday all day, it was only day now that I have decided to say one simple thing…
"FUCK YOU WORLD, YOUR STUCK WITH ME, I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE OTHER PLACE, IT'S NOT MY TIME AND I LOVE MY LIFE, YOUR NOT TAKING THAT AWAY FROM ME. DO YOU HEAR ME WORLD…I…LOVE…LIFE, AND YOUR STUCK WITH ME!" I smiled as I finished my word, only to turn around and see them all there, not just the Bladebreakers, everyone that we've ever befriended. Tyson stepped forward towards me, a kind of stunned look on his face, obviously he had expected me to shout out something like that.
"That's cool Kai but this isn't exactly the time and place ok mate" I looked around, it looked like they were holding a minute silence or something "Didn't think to tell you about the silence thing, it's to honour Beyblade and all that, considering the person who created it, well it is his birthday" Tyson whispered as everyone settled back down "Your usually so quite and all that, what brought that on anyway?" I looked at him and smiled, if only you knew Tyson.
"If only you knew."
R&R
A.N. So what did you think, be truthful now, I can take the good with the bad, so deffinately be truthful, well if Vampirycent is gunna review I know he will, a bit too much probably but I appreciate it very much. This was literally just a random story to be fair. I felt like writing a story so someone gave me the title "The other place" and I was able to write this here story in about an hour, even though it may not be that good to some of you I still think it's pretty cool I was able to write so much in a short amount of time lol.
Sorry I'm babbling, anyway please review if you have read, it would be much appreciated and I would luff you so much lolz.
