Autumn leaves

Characters: Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Itachi, Yamanaka Ino
Anime: Naruto
Rated: M for slight sexual content, violence and explicit language, non-massacre
Genre: Romance, drama, angst, hurt & comfort
Writer: xGutsOverFear
Disclaimer: I guess it is obvious that I'm not Masashi Kishimoto, therefore I do not own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden, nor do I own it's characters. Just sayin'.

I got inspired for this story by listening to ''Autumn Leaves'' by Chris Brown and Kendrick Llamar. You should totally check it out while reading this fic :)

If you leave this time, I fear that you'll be gone for good
So I hold on like leaves and fall to what is left

Silence. No words, since they weren't needed. Everything stayed unsaid because he didn't need words to know what was going through her head right now. He felt her snuggle up against him some more, while she carefully slipped her arm around his bare tummy without trying to touch his skin too much, like it was a burning fire that could have burned her to ashes in a split second, but she conquered her fears of getting burned and felt electric sparks instead of heat when their bodies connected. She saw a tiny pearl of sweat rolling down his chest, on it's way to meet her now resting arm on his abdomen. She traced it with her finger and felt sad when it dissappeared as soon as it touched her fingertip, and like she was afraid that he would completly crumble beneath her touch, she pulled away a bit, but didn't refrain from resting her face in the crook of his neck. She closed her eyes and tried to enjoy the moment, even when she knew it wouldn't last long. She was determined to make sure to remember everything - his smell, which was no longer only his, since a few months ago she noticed another fragrance present, it wasn't no longer just his own manly, lovely smell, but it got mixed with a hint of sweet flowers and betrayal, and she felt her heart break a little more while she scolded herself in her mind. She had promised herself that she would put a stop to this. Not only herself, she told him too. Their relationship had always been abusive, he would never show her affection in the way that she so desperately needed and he would always leave her guessing where he was. It wasn't very rare for him to dissappear without a trace and without a phonecall or something so simple like a small note, and he would come back when he wanted to, not when she wanted or needed him the most.

He would always come back to her though, sooner or later. Even when their relationship was far from perfect and not satisfying at all, she would always feel loved by him somehow. The proof was their naked bodies and their tangled limbs, their chest going up and down heavily, out of breath from their recent activities, sheets and clothes scattered through the room. It was destructive, stupid and heartbreaking that he only came to her when he was lonely or cold, and when he needed someone to fill the hole in his heart, even when both knew that it could never be filled completly. He only came to her when he was so empty, so blank that he got desperate to feel something, anything. He would never be carefull or sensitive, she had multiple bruises burning on her skin from all the times that he would throw her against the wall violently, before hungrily attacking her lips and kissing them until they were painfully swollen, leaving red biting marks in her neck while ripping her clothes off. Today was a day like that once again.

''Sakura.''

She stiffened against him when he spoke to her with a voice hoarse from the arousal that still lingered while he was getting down from his high, with no other emotion present. She knew what was coming and even when this is how it always went down, she couldn't bring herself to let go so easily this time.

''No.''

Her voice was shaking much more than she wanted it to, but it was beyond her control - her overthinking things like she just did always brought her out of balance mentally. He sighed and tried to move her arm away from his still warm belly, but she refused and clung onto him more thight - she couldn't let him leave just yet. She couldn't do this anymore, not ever again.

''Don't go. Please, just stay, Sasuke.'' She whispered, trying to hide her heartbreak, but she knew she was failing completly. Sasuke was a smart man who knew her better then anyone, but from all the people who knew her, he was the one who cared the least.

''I've got to go.''

He tried to get up once again, breaking himself away from her warm embrace, but got locked in again when she threw herself on him wrapping him up in her arms, burrying her face in his chest and refusing to let go.

''No, you can't go. Not again. We need to talk, Sasuke, please,'' She begged with a broken voice, putting more force into her hold when she felt how he started to struggle to get loose.

''Fuck off Sakura, we don't need to talk. About what do you want to talk? I have nothing to say at all. Just let me go, I have somewhere to be-'' He said loudly, pushing her away violently while untangling his legs from hers. He sighed deeply while burrying his face in his hands, trying to catch his breath from the fight she put up: what the hell was wrong with this girl? She knew where she got herself into when they first started this. She knew he wouldn't be the kind of boyfriend to bring her flowers or to tell her he loved her, because he didn't. It isn't that he didn't care at all, there was this little flame burning inside his stomach everytime she smiled her sad smile at him, but he might as well could have confused this feeling with lust. The will to devour her completly, to claim her as his everytime they hit the bed, to kiss every inch of her skin before he started the hunt, leaving her exhausted, swollen and bruised every single time they did this.

''I'm out.''

He got up from the bed while he searched the room to find his clothes scattered through the whole space, not listening to her loud and painfull sobs, he closed his ears and heart to it when he felt her arms forcefully wrap around his waist, the skin of his back felt wetter every second. Was it her tears or was he still sweaty? He didn't know, and didn't care either when he felt her nails digging into the skin of his muscled torso.

''You can't do this to me anymore, Sasuke. Stay with me. I don't know who you are going to when you aren't with me, but I know I am not the only one you are doing this with. And it is tearing me up inside,'' She cried softly, her whisper cutting through his darkened soul like the sharpest knife he ever got confronted with. She was right, she wasn't the only one to touch him. Not anymore, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to tell her this, afraid she would vanish like snow melting in the sun. He was just standing there, quiet, stiffened in her arms, looking to his feet when she dropped herself to the ground hopelessly, finally letting go of him.

''I hate you. I hate you to the fullest extent of your existence. But what I hate about you the most, is how I love you so deeply and unconditionally.'' She confessed while she burried her face in her hands, sat on the floor completly lost and devastated, pooring out the parts of her heart that were still left, because she ceased to exist the moment she let him in and gave herself to him. He turned around looking down at the poor human being that she was, and he felt himself snapping. He couldn't take this. In a split second he lifted her off the ground, throwing her over his shoulder while she hung there like a still doll, sobbing instead of fighting for her freedom. She didn't care any more what would happen to her, because she lost him, even when he probably wasn't even hers to begin with.

I've been bleeding in your silence, I feel safer in your violence
I hold on like leaves in fall to what is left

He threw her down on the bed, sat on top of her and pinned her arms above her head while looking into her watery eyes with his own furious ones, onyx locked with emerald, causing mixed feelings that he couldn't allow himself to have. Before he realized he raised his fist and hit her face with a force that brought both of them to silence, covering his fist and her instantly swollen eyelid with a thin layer of dark red blood. None of them spoke any longer when he crossed this line once again - she felt betrayed and destroyed, he felt nothing at all. He leaned in silently until his forehead rested on hers, while he craddled her cheek with his big, rough hand, spreading their mixed blood on her flawless cheek by doing so.

''Stop it, Sakura. You are being annoying. I will be back later, you know that I'll never be gone forever.''

With those words she watched him weave the signs with his hands quickly and he dissappeared in a second, teleporting himself out of the room with one of his jutsu's, leaving her there to wait for him once again.

Said her father left her young and he said he'll be back
With that same tone that you just said you'll stay forever with

She didn't notice when a man with the same raven hair but onyx eyes much softer as her disturbed ''lover'' came in quietly, looking at the girl laying on the floor in front of him. He was hesistant, but too kind hearted to let this slip and pretend like he did not notice, so he sighed, kneeled down beside her while covering her up with the blanket he picked up. With eyes filled with worry and pity, he lifted her face so she looked at him, so he could analyse the damage.

''Itachi..''

''Ssh, don't speak. Let's fix you up.''

He got up and attempted to leave the room to get some alchohol and pads to clean her wound, but not without brushing her wounded skin with his soft hand for a brief second. He stood still as soon as he realized that she shivered and stiffened under his touch, probably afraid that yet another man would try and harm her.

''What is it?''

She asked when she noticed that he suddenly stopped his way in the middle of the room.
He felt his eye twitch and balled his fist so thightly that his fingers turned white, before he turned around and gave her a slightly sad smile.

''Nothing. I was just wondering where I left the alcohol.''

He walked away, hoping that one day she would realize that she deserves so much more than his foolish, little brother.

He tossed and turned but wasn't able to find his peace, so he let go of the sleeping woman next to him, brushing her long blond hair away from his shoulder in the process, not wanting to be touched at that moment. He turned on his back and looked at the big ceiling which looked like a big black space in the dark of the night. If it wasn't for the moon and the stars shining so brightly right outside the window, he wouldn't be able to see her peacefull face and her beautiful features, the rest of her body covered with nothing but a thin, white blanket. He imagined her waking up, locking her crystal clear, ice blue eyes with his stone cold onyx ones and pulling him into her embrace, but none of this happened, since she was in a deep slumber. He sighed and closed his eyes thightly, hoping that the sleep would catch him just like it did with the girl next to him, but it didn't happen. His head was spinning and so was his stomach, all the different feelings twisting in his stomach - guild, butterflies, fear, anger, or maybe just exhaustion. When he started to feel nauseous, he decided he needed some air so he got up, searched for his clothes the second time this day and then dissappeared into the cold night, once again.

Before I sleep I talk to God, he must be mad with me, it's karma
I'm confused who I'll spend my forever with

He was walking through the night, wind blowing through his raven black hair while he tried to protect his hands against the cold by putting them in his pockets. For the first time this day he felt at peace, just being alone with his own thoughts always did him good, until it got too much and when the loneliness was starting to suffocate him, he would always run right back to the petite, pretty pinkette. He would always feel right at home, and now he felt like he was a man who had no place left to rest his head anymore. No home to turn back to because not only her heart, but also her soul got damaged today beyond reparing. There is no turning back from the lines that were crossed this day, he realized this the moment he locked eyes with her for the last time. He had never seen dissappointment in such a pure form as he did in her eyes. It chased him so far away from her, that he wondered if he would ever know the way back to her. Yet still all of this did not stop him from melting right into the hands of the golden haired beauty called Ino - he couldn't withstand the temptation that she casted on him like an unbreakable spell, and before he knew it her lips were sucking and kissing the skin of his neck, and his hands were all over her heated body once again. What a stupid man he was.

He got woken up from his thoughts by someone tapping his back, but before he fully turned around to see who it was, he was sent flying by a furious fist hitting his face with full power. He knew this chakra and power all too well - this could only be one person.

''Itachi..'' Sasuke growled while he grabbed his bruised and bleeding face, not making an attempt to stand up just yet because he felt dizzier than he ever did before. He didn't need to stand up by himself though, because Itachi grabbed him by his shirt and lifted him up in the air so he looked him straight into his eyes.

''You need to stop this disgusting game you are playing. I can't watch you ruin anyone's life any longer. You can't go around, shoving your dick into everything that has a hole. Wake the fuck up Sasuke, for God's sake, don't make me look like I raised a damn monster because this has nothing to do with me. This is all your fault,'' Itachi screamed, the anger boiling up from his inner core, burning his veins on it's way out, while he still held his brother up in the air. He was beyond exhausted from being the fulltime caretaker of a troubled child, who grew up to be a uncontrollable mad man, and that he had no one to tell him how to handle or fix him, because he had been alone with all his and Sasuke's troubles since the day their parents died a few years ago.

''You can have her.''

Itachi felt his heart stop in his chest, while he looked up to his brother, who looked totally uneffected by being held up into the air so violently, his older brother's words didn't reach his heart whatsoever.

''What the hell are you talking about?''

''Sakura. You can have her. Don't you think that I didn't notice the way you are looking at her?''

Silence.

''I can't make her happy anyway. Like you already said, I have a very hard time staying faithfull to her. Maybe she will be enough for you.''

Itachi was breathing heavily, shaking from top to toe, trying to bite back the words that he shouldn't ever speak out loud, but it was too late. All the boundaries were gone.

''Why don't you admit that this is all because of Hikari?! Because you still didn't got over the huge loss that you suffered? That you just don't know how to love anymore? Why don't you tell Sakura why you are the man that you are today?!''

Sasuke felt his blood run cold and the memories that he locked away in the darkest place of his mind unravelled. Itachi realized what he did and let go of his younger brother, who fell to the ground with a loud smack, burrying his head in his arms. Beautiful hazel eyes flashed through his mind.

''No..''

He made himself as small as he could. Long, shiny silver locks brushing his shoulder while she walked past him.

''No..''

It was only now that he realized that he was crying. When did he start crying? The prettiest smile he ever ran into was the next flashback he had. He felt his heart cramp in his chest, leaving an unbeareable pain.

''No.. I was supposed to forget..''

He whispered, not to anyone else, just himself and the beautiful girl he wished he would never remember. The jutsu that was supposed to protect him until the day he died just got broken way too early.

Itachi took a few steps back, watching the consequence of his actions unfold in front of him, swallowing away something that felt like upcoming tears. He knew there was nothing he could have done for Sasuke at that moment, besides letting him feel it for the first time in years. The grief, the loss, the pain and the butterflies he probably still felt for this girl.

''You never used to be like this. You have loved someone so deeply in the past. And you lost this person, and now you are lost as well,'' Itachi said.

''I was supposed to forget..'' Sasuke repeated while he got up off the floor, while he wiped away the tears that were still streaming down his face silently.

''Why did you make me remember?''

''Because the girl you love today doesn't deserve this. And because you don't deserve this either, but things will never get better for you if you keep pushing it away and giving your body to anyone who wants it, instead of processing it and going through the grief.''

Sasuke was looking for an answer to give his older brother, when he got distracted by long, pink locks waving in the wind in the near distance. When Itachi noticed Sasuke's shocked face, he turned around to look at what Sasuke was looking at, and felt his legs weaken when he looked straight into the devestated face of none other than Sakura.

''Sakura..''

Sakura hushed Itachi by touching his lips with her finger, while she turned to the man she loved so dearly. She took a few steps to get closer to him, but it didn't make the actual distance between them any smaller. His mind had been miles away from her since the day they first laid eyes on eachother, even when his body was, his mind was never really there, and now she could finally puzzle the pieces together.

''I understand now,'' she whispered, while reaching out her hand to touch his face, and she was surprised when he didn't back away from her touch, but leaned into it instead, stiffened and broken, unable to say a word.

''Your heart was never mine to begin with,'' she whispered with a broken smile, before she gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. Than she walked away, dissappearing into the night, leaving him, wondering if she would ever return.

It seems that all the autumn leaves are falling
I feel like you're the only reason for it
All the things you do, all the things you do, all the things you do

Well, that was it. This is my first story here, and I would love to get some feedback from you guys. Please note that English is not my native language, I am from the Netherlands :') So please don't be too harsh on my grammar, I really tried my best. I hope you guys enjoyed this!